He was speaking quietly with the receptionist. The woman had asked what he did for a living. She heard nothing, she was completely lost in the turning of the pages. Nothing registered.
"Doctor Fox?"
The file was unbelievable. She'd never encountered anything like it.She didn't knowhewas watching her flip through the pages in a desperate attempt to make some sense of the choice they were about to make. The risks they both knew all too well, but the pay off, the payoffs were something he'd missed completely. This time would be different though. She felt something clench inside of her chest. This time it had to be different.
"Doctor Fox?"
"Sweetheart?" She would never get used to him calling her that, it startled her out of her revelry. She turned in the direction of his voice and his soft eyes smiled at her. It was his public term of endearment. The real one, a forgotten name from a forgotten life, he only whispered to her in the dark of their bedroom.
"The doctor is ready to see you now." The receptionist smiled sweetly. Her husband extended his hand and she grasped it, letting him pull her into the office, still dumbstruck and clutching the folder.
"Hello." A tall middle aged man stood behind his desk in front of a wall of baby pictures that made them both more than a little uncomfortable. "I'm doctor Nicholas Tandy."
"Sam Fox." She felt his hand drop away and watched as he shook hands with the man. "This is my wife Katherine."
"Doctor Fox it's nice to finally meet you in person. Melissa has spoken so much about you." The man's clipped British accent made him sound older than he was. She smiled softly as her husband pulled out a chair and gestured her to sit.
"She's a wonderful nurse. You should be very proud of her." The words left her mouth automatically, she reached absently for her partner's hand and found it. He twisted their fingers together tightly.
"Oh we are." Tandy smiled at a photo on his desk. "So Rebbecka tells me you have concerns about picking a donor?" Her mouth slipped open when he looked at her.
"More like questions." She heard the man beside her ask. "Katherine and I have waited along time for this. We just want to be sure we're making the right choice for us."
"You've tried to conceive naturally and failed?" The man leaned forward and looked at her husband with concern.
"Katherine went through Chemotherapy and Radiation treatments several years ago." He swallowed hard, she quickly tightened her hold on him. "It left her unable to have children. Before.. the illness.. we.. three ovum were harvested.." He held the mans eyes with his own before taking a deep breath. "We conceived our son through in vitro fertilization."
She looked down, swallowing against the bitter taste in her mouth as he continued.
"There were.. genetic abnormalities." He continued softly. "He's no longer with us."
"I'm terribly sorry." The man's sincerity struck her, she felt her eyes start to tear.
"Thank you." She whispered, waiting for him to continue.
"Although you know there are no guarantees our donors do participate in a variety of genetic test." She nodded.
"Katherine's first pregnancy was difficult. She had a placental abruption and a great deal of bleeding with delivery." It was his turn feel the panicky feeling and she knew it, pulling her thumb across his knuckles. "I just want to make sure that every precaution is taken."
He let go of her hand before wandering towards the wall of photos, tracing his fingers across the border of the frame before turning towards the man studying his wife. She saw him slowly reach out his hand to his neck.
"Your tag is showing." He muttered pressing two fingers down near the base of the man's scull to remedy the imaginary situation. The doctor made a curious face, but his relaxed.
"Sorry." He said sheepishly grinning. "It's a pet peeve."
"Of course." The doctor looked at her inquisitively before continuing. "You've chosen a donor that you wanted to meet with?"
"Yes." She nodded shooting her eyes to the man next to her. "We have."
The man formally known as Fox Mulder knew that the best way to lie was too keep it as close to the truth as possible. He also knew that the truth would hit him like a ton of bricks as soon as his guard was down.
So he wasn't even that surprised when he woke in a cold sweat later on that night to climb over his wife and out onto the small balcony of there London flat.
This risk that they were taking haunted him enough, but the past, the past that had to be drug up and laid out in front of him to do it made him crazy.
"Hey." He had heard her moving behind him before she spoke but he still jumped when she did.
"Hi." He smirked, glancing over his shoulder at her before back out at the street.
"Are you okay?" She hummed leaning her cheek against his bare back.
"Yeah. I'm fine." He lied as she wrapped her thin arms around him.
"Really?" She turned him to face her with a mocking lift of her eyebrow. "You're fine?"
"Yeah." He rubbed his hand over his face before taking her hands in his.
"No lingering concerns about the nape of Tandy's neck?"She teased, he opened one eye and squinted at her wincing.
"What? I'm wrong to be concerned?" He tightened his eyelids closed before looking at her in exhaustion.
"I just thought those days were over." She told him frankly.
"I'm just making sure they are." He muttered pressing his face into her hair.
"You have a nine am class." She reminded him, feeling him nod against her. "Come back to bed."
Another nod. She pulled him across the floor and onto the queen size bed that took up more than half of the room. His leg draped around her possessively, almost as if he was afraid they'd come in the night and take her away. Again.
"Scully?" He whispered softly into the dark. She closed her eyes with a smile and rubbed her cheek against his.
"Mulder?" He sighed, pulling her tight against his body.
"We're doing the right thing?" She knew that voice, the all to familiar doubt slipping into his always gentle tone.
"There is no way to know for sure." She told him honestly. "But we can't just sit around and wait for the end of the world now can we?"
"It's easier to do when you know the date." He teased.
