Title: What Makes a Monster
Author: J Rease
Disclaimer: I own nothing but my crazy imagination. I now disclaim that all of my Gleefics are disclaimed until the end of infinity.
Rating: M/NC-18+
Spoilers: Show timeline applies, my head-canon will be obvious.
Warnings: Prompt fill—see prompt for basic layout of fic and all of its warnings. This story contains multiple forms of abuse, graphic violence, implied incest etc etc etc. You have been warned ahead of time.
Summary: "Monsters hide under your bed, Daddy… and in your closet!" He shook his head at his daughter. "No Quinnie, the biggest monsters are the ones who hide in plain sight." Darkfic. Faberry Goodness.
A/N: After my last author's note (about flaming on the What Happens to Girls in Tiny Towns story), I've had an influx of praise, personal messages, and kind words. There have been no flames, and I have gotten to talk to a lot of readers who have read my Stealing Sunshine fic, and many of you all have encouraged me to continue. That being said; thank you for your support!
I've always been open to taking prompts from readers. It usually challenges me to take a different look creatively—with plots I haven't invested in myself. I still love taking prompts. I usually fill them personally and send a story to a reader who requests it. It gives me a chance to take my mind off the stories I have invested in, which I sometimes get blocked in, and it forces me to write something, differently. I decided to post this prompt fill from a reader and to also extend the invitation to some readers who didn't know that I fill prompts, or those who just want to chat it up.
So, send some prompts. PM, or instant message me on Aim (logophilegck), I'll pick five out of a hat or something and post them between updates. I'm enjoying writing the prompts I fill—and I don't mind filling a few more. Rules: Any character or pairing, any genre except blatant comedy (I can't do it don't force me to be awfully cheesy). Everything else is open. I love challenges, so you can add anything and I'll see if I can pull it off. Oneshots preferred, no more than two chapters. It can be written in any POV you'd prefer. No higher than an M rating. The possibilities are endless, and I hope a few more people send me something they'd like to see written. Those who've sent me things in the past- four of my posted stories are because of you, thanks for the great material.
*Long Prompt is Long*
Russell returns to the Fabray house a "changed man". Reuniting with his broken family, things quickly settle into a familiar [Read; harshly strict] routine. When Russell catches Quinn in a "compromising" position (author's choice), he falls back into his abusive ways. Very angsty, very dark, and extremely graphic (because you do graphic, dark and angsty so well). Big bonus if it's revealed that Russy is really Beth's BioDad. I'd love to get a glimpse into the past of Lucy Q and her sister. However it can be left out if you decide to oneshot this fic. No Judy or Russel POV, please (although Judy can take any stance you choose). I'd prefer if Rachel found out, and tries to convince her to report the abuse. It can be others if you'd prefer (only fems—So Quinntana, Quinntina, Quinncedes or Quitt please). I'd love to see a romance, however friendship can work too.
*End of Long Prompt*
This story will be completed in two chapters.
Please Read and Review
What Makes a Monster
They always called her Quinn. Even when she was Lucy; her family never called her by her given name. She was Quinn at home, even to Judy, Russell and her sister, Chelsea. She came home crying every single day; because of the names they called her. She'd run home and her Daddy would sweep her up and tell her that she was perfect; that she would always be his perfect baby girl. She could remember being afraid to sleep at night, and her Daddy would come into her room and make the bad things go away.
"Monsters hide under your bed, Daddy… and in your closet!"
He shook his head at his daughter.
"No Quinnie, the biggest monsters are the ones who hide in plain sight."
She screwed up her face.
"What's that mean, Daddy? Are you a monster, is Mommy?"
He smiled that all knowing smile and he wrapped his arms around her shoulders.
"Those mean children at school, they're monsters. All the horrible things bad people do, it makes them monsters. You don't have to worry about the shadows in the closet, Quinnie. They'll be gone by the time the sun comes up. But those real monsters, those monsters who get away with doing so many bad things; they won't get to you sweetheart. I won't let them, Quinnie… I won't."
She believed him. She believed her Daddy would do anything he possibly could to make sure the bad things would stop. He tried to stop the name calling, the pranks, and the loneliness. She began going to dance classes, (her Daddy said she would make friends that way) and she began working toward something she'd wanted since forever—to be beautiful. When her Daddy told them they'd be moving to Lima, she wasn't sad. She knew what she needed to do to finally be the person she wanted to be.
Chelsea Fabray was the model teen. She was pure and flawless and intelligent. Chelsea was her mother's pride and joy. But Quinn was her Daddy's little girl. She was his Quinnie. The same Quinnie who would grow into her looks, the same Quinnie who was the apple of her Daddy's eye. The same Quinn who walked into her Daddy's study and asked him for something she wasn't sure he'd let her have.
"Daddy, I want to get my nose fixed."
He stopped packing the box he was stuffing and glanced up at her.
"What? Quinnie, why? You look like me sweetie, it's the Fabray bump."
He put his hands on either sides of her face and shook her head lovingly.
"I love your nose, Quinnie. You'll grow into it."
"Daddy, I need a new start. I'm losing weight and I'm getting in shape and my braces are coming off, and Chelsea showed me how to put on contacts and—"
He frowned.
"Don't let your mother or your sister get into your head Quinn. You don't have to be really skinny, or have a perfect nose or—"
Quinn pulled away, tears in her eyes.
"Chelsea has a perfect nose…"
He frowned again.
"Is that what this is about, Lucy Q?"
"Don't call me that, Daddy. I just want to start over. I want to be pretty and popular, and I want to have friends. And we are moving somewhere different and people won't know about the bad names or the jokes. I just want a chance to be happy."
He looked at his daughter. He looked at his daughter who had gotten so many of her traits from him. That stubborn little chin and that bumpy little nose. She was his world. He wanted to give her anything she wanted.
"Baby, are you sure? It'll hurt. And you're summer will be cut short and you'll have to break from dance for a few weeks. You probably won't get a chance to ever look this way again."
She was nodding vigorously at him.
"Daddy I did the research, and it'll be healed in less than a month, and I can be careful, and nobody will know… and—and I'm sure. I never want to be this way again. I don't want to be ugly anymore. And I just, I just want to be Quinn. No more Lucy. I want to forget about Lucy."
She was still crying, and he hugged her and nodded and told her how beautiful she was now. And if it was really what she wanted to do, than he'd let her.
And so he did.
That summer she tasted freedom for the first time. She felt uninhibited. And by early fall she felt invincible. She was pretty and she was mysterious, and she could be whoever she wanted to be. She let her sister dye her hair blonde, and they talked about all the things she could do to be on top. And she took notes. When her sister left for college that fall, she was ready to conquer the world. And she would take no prisoners.
And suddenly, she was beautiful. Everyone stared at her for a different reason now. People treated her like she was the most important person in the world. Boys fell at her feet and girls coward in her grace. She was royalty. But suddenly, her Daddy didn't have to be her hero anymore; suddenly, there were boys lining up to try to protect her from the bad things. Soon, Quinn Fabray became a woman.
"Quinnie, are you letting the boys at school… touch you?"
She shook her head. She didn't understand.
"Touch me how, Daddy?"
He was rubbing her leg, and smiling.
"Well, you're a woman now, Quinnie. You're a beautiful young woman…"
Quinn swallowed her face in her hands.
"Mommy told you! How could she? She promised!"
He began rubbing her back.
"She didn't have to tell me, sweetheart. I'm your Daddy; I think I should know when my little lady becomes a woman. It's okay; it's natural. But now that it's happened, there are some things you should know…about boys."
She peaked through her fingers.
"Like… boys aren't as smart as girls. They don't think with their heads and they let their impulses lead them. They want pretty young women like you to do certain things. And these things aren't something young ladies should do…don't let them pressure you into anything inappropriate. And remember always, God is watching, so don't shame him."
"Okay Daddy, I think I understand."
"Good, sweetie. I'm glad you do."
Things changed after that. Boys weren't friends anymore. And she found herself going to chastity balls and doing things because her Daddy wanted her to. She was smarter and prettier and better than Chelsea, and her Daddy always let her know that. And her Daddy always pushed. And she did anything her Daddy asked because he'd been her hero for a lifetime.
Then things got bad at home.
Chelsea had dropped out of college by the end of the first semester. She met a man and married him, and moved somewhere to open a chain store. Her Daddy was enraged. And he began drinking, and her mother never let his glass empty. They couldn't admit that they'd failed as parents. And they couldn't let it happen again. And she found herself in a chokehold of perfection and expectation. The fighting began. Judy and Russell Fabray fought over brandy or scotch three times a week. She'd sit on her bed and drown out the noise with music and homework. Suddenly nothing was good enough for her Daddy. He pushed even when she was on top, he shoved when she was an inch out of line and he made sure he would never fail again.
And suddenly he just wasn't her Daddy anymore.
"What is this, Quinn?"
"It's my chemistry test Dad."
"I can see what it is, Quinnie. What is this on top of it?"
She gulped. She hadn't expected him to be so upset.
"It's a B, Dad."
He stood up fast enough for her to back into the china cupboard.
"You're in high school now, Quinn. No daughter of mine is going to be a failure!"
She was cringing in the space between them. He'd never gotten this upset.
"I—It's not a failure Dad, it's only one test and I promise I'll do better next time, and I'm—"
The only part of the smack that resonated was the shock. He never hit her. Never. She'd never gotten a spanking in her life and she really didn't want to start getting them now.
"Make your first try your best, Quinn. I won't stand for anymore embarrassment in this house. Are we clear?"
She nodded and asked to be dismissed. For the first time in her life, her father had been the one who did the bad thing.
Things spiraled after that. Every misstep was a failure, every boy had the potential to ruin her life; to ruin her family's reputation. The pressure was surmounting and sometimes her shoulders were so heavy with all the baggage her father gave her. Her mother started drinking more, and the nights got longer with their arguing. Soon, her mother just did as she was told. And when her Dad started beating her more frequently, Judy began ignoring the things that happened, choosing to just turn a blind eye and let her husband lead his family.
Her reputation became the only thing keeping her sane. She wasn't allowed to do most things girls her age were doing. Boys were taboo until sophomore year. She had to go to church and join the celibacy club. She had to be that perfect model child her father groomed her to be. And soon she was maintaining that perfect reputation. Finn respected her beliefs, and everyone wanted to be her. She was making her father proud.
Then Rachel Berry happened.
She was everything Quinn feared. She was naturally pretty and intelligent and she was talented. She didn't let anyone break her spirit and she had a future. All Quinn had was high school, a mediocre college and a humdrum future husband. Rachel Berry was getting away from the entire small pond of Ohioans, while Quinn would be there for a lifetime, pleasing her father and not living her own life.
When Rachel started pining after Finn, it was the last straw. And she put her reputation on the line and she joined the Glee club. She needed to hold onto everything she'd been working towards. She needed to keep her reputation. She needed her golden years to get her through what happens after. Rachel Berry always made her feel like she was as ugly as she used to be. Rachel Berry had been dealt almost the same hand as she was, unpopular, and friendless; but she was naturally beautiful. Things were slipping from her reach and she couldn't grasp why she was crumbling so quickly. And Russell noticed. He saw her toppling from the top of the pyramid; he saw lower grades and half effort. He saw her downfall; he saw her panic.
"Is that Finn boy pressuring you?"
She laughed nervously. She could never lie to him with a straight face.
"Of course not Daddy, he's a complete gentleman."
He quirked his brow and sipped his scotch.
"You would tell me if he was, wouldn't you sweetheart?"
"Of course, Daddy."
He swallowed the rest of his drink and looked at her for a moment.
"Just remember, don't do anything you wouldn't want to see on the front page of the newspaper in the morning."
"I know, Dad… I know."
She excused herself for bed moments later, changing into night clothes and slipping under her comforter. The knock on her door was so quiet she almost didn't hear it. But her father came into her room and quietly closed the door behind him. He sat on her bed as she flattened herself against the headboard, and stared silently at her before speaking.
"You wouldn't lie to me, would you Lucy Q?"
She pondered how drunk he really was.
"No Dad, why do you think I would?"
He was still staring; the look in his eyes reminded her of something she couldn't place.
"Quinn, are you being impure?"
She shook her head.
"Of course not Daddy." She was nervous under the unnerving stare he refused to break.
"I value my chastity, and I made a vow—"
"How far have you gone with him, LuLu?"
She didn't answer immediately. He never called her that anymore. The look in his eyes was getting darker as they sat. She needed to end this conversation before he got upset.
"I'm not having sex yet, Daddy. And besides, when Finn tries something, I make him stop and then we pray."
His face was twisting in conflicting emotions. First it was relief, and then a harsh, terrible anger.
"You aren't having sex…yet? And what does he try? What do you let him do?"
She was shaking her head, her hands pressing against his chest as she tried to calm him down.
"N—Nothing, Daddy, I promise. We just kiss. And if he ever tries to do anything we pray, we pray together Daddy I—"
"You're lying to me Lucy, you're letting this boy come between us and I can't stand for that."
"Daddy—I would never! Finn and I are being appropriate, I promise there is nothing going on that you don't know about—"
He stood on his feet and began pacing the room. He was rubbing his face slowly, stopping periodically to stare at her.
"Are you still a virgin, Lucy? Are you still my innocent little girl? Are you lying to me about everything now?"
She just sat still. Anything she said now would just be twisted.
"Take off your pajamas, Quinn."
The way he said it made her tense. It wasn't a question, but she dared her chances.
"W-Why , Daddy?" She needed to find reason. She needed to know she wasn't going to get a spanking for something she hadn't even done.
"Don't question me. Do it. Now."
She stood and slowly took her clothes off. She pulled her shirt over her head and her shorts down slowly.
"Take off everything."
She snapped her head up.
"Daddy, I swear I—"
"Do as I say, Quinn!"
She started crying. She felt the tears trailing down her cheeks, and she gave up wiping them away. She pulled down her panties and unclasped her bra. She shivered and crossed her arms in front of herself, and she waited for him to speak. He began circling her, lifting her arms and checking intimate spots on her body. He pushed a knee between her thighs, and grabbed roughly at the flesh there. He continued searching for something invisible, yanking her hands away from her breasts and examining the skin there. She turned her head and took a shaky breath, tears still falling down her burning cheeks. When he moved his hands, she faced him again and caught a glimpse of something sinister.
His eyes shot up to hers, and she saw it. She saw what the monsters were made of, she saw the anger behind her father's betraying facade and she couldn't prepare for what happened next.
"I'm going to get to the bottom of this once and for all."
He backed her into the wall near her bed, and forced her legs apart. He pushed two fingers quickly to her. And stopped only when he met resistance. He tore his hand out of her, and stepped out of her personal space.
"Put your clothes back on. I will make sure you stay pure, Quinn. I will not let a boy corrupt you, or your future. If I see any more of the marks he's made, I will see to it that he never sees you again."
He turned on his heel and left, and she crumpled to the floor and sobbed herself to sleep.
Things after that happened without her input. She did as she was told and never spoke a word about what happened again. They were the Fabrays. They were the family that set the standard; the family everyone else always admired for their solidarity. She was losing faith in her family. She remembered her Daddy happy, she remembers him un-soured. She always thinks back to the times he's made her feel safe. When he was the only knight she trusted to keep the monsters at bay.
Soon, he started becoming Russell.
He became someone she couldn't recognize anymore. He personified someone she was terrified of. She was afraid to do anything wrong; she was afraid she'd shame the family, and he'd come for her. He hit her when she wasn't at her best, so she kept herself on track. She worked harder than everyone around her and her paranoia began to corrupt her decisions. She couldn't lose control for fear of what Russell would do to her; for fear of what he could do to her.
When things had been going well, when she was doing what she was supposed to, she let her guard fall and it all finally came crashing down around her.
"Finn, I have to go in, I'll be late for curfew."
He smiled that boyish smile.
"You're not even late yet, we still have twenty minutes and we are parked right outside your house. Come on… you know you want to."
She bit her lip. She leaned into him, and he cupped her cheek and they resumed kissing. He was caressing her neck, his giant hand smothering her face. She could feel the heat of the car choking her lungs, and her heart was pounding in her ears. She felt his other hand trail the inside of her thigh, and she knew she should stop him. When he paused for permission, she didn't tell him no. She was curious. She wanted to know how it felt. To be touched that way. She felt his fingers whisper over the cotton of her panties, and she let her eyes flutter closed.
The car door was wrenched open.
It was all a flash of cool air and shouting. Russell had her by the elbow, his other hand reaching in and grabbing her bag on the floor of the truck. They stormed into the house and he yanked her up the stairs and into her room. He dropped her on her bed and threw her bag against the opposite wall. She folded her hands in her lap and toyed with her fingers. She wasn't going to cry. She was going to take the beating she knew was coming.
"How long has this been going on, Lucy?"
"Please don't call me that."
His hand whipped out and knocked her backwards on the bed.
"At least Lucy knew how to conduct herself! Quinn is a whore!"
He was on top of her in seconds; he straddled her legs and began pulling her panties from under her Cheerios skirt. He bunched them in his hands, frowning down over her as he threw them in her face.
"They're wet Quinn. How long have you been whoring yourself out? Huh?"
He was hitting her. Smacking any open skin he could get his hands on. It was starting to ache, and her body didn't have much resistance left. She was crying. And she just knew… she knew her mother was sitting on the couch downstairs with her brandy and the television remote, trying her best to block out the noise of her screaming. Ignoring Quinn calling for her mother to help. To make him stop.
She can feel him grappling with her hips.
"You want to be a whore, Quinn? I'll treat you like one."
When he ripped into her he stole her breath away. She saw him above her. Hurting her in the worst way. Doing the bad things. She felt the warm trickle of something thick sliding her thighs, and she felt herself screaming.
But she couldn't hear it.
She starts to feel it. The burning singing flesh. Her purity. Her choice. She's still screaming when he pulled out of her; when he rolled off of her. She hears him leave, and cries in his wake. She cries herself to sleep and she doesn't wake up for two entire days.
Eight months later, her mother informs her of her father's affair. Russell wouldn't be coming back.
