Hey, all, this is my second fanfiction, tell me if you like! (Yes, that's all.)

P.S.: If there was a T-plus, that's what I'd rate this.

"AAAARRRGHH!"

I sat bolt upright in bed, chest heaving. I twisted my head and backed away from the dark – thing – in my bed.

"What are you doing here?" I growled.

Fang smiled and adjusted hi s position, resting his head on his hands. "I had a nightmare, Mommy," he squeaked. "I was scared."

"Get your ass out of my bed," I spat. "And put a shirt on! This is just awkward, Fang!"

"You want me to make it awkward?" Fang leered."'Cos I can make it awkward."

"I believe you." I scooted farther away from him, pulling the blankets with me. They slithered off of his bare chest, revealing his black sweatpants. I heaved a sigh of relief. At least he was wearing something else."Now get out of bed – of my – of –" I sputtered, suddenly all-too-aware of my spaghetti strap tank top and tiny shorts.

"Max?" came Iggy's voice. "Are you coming for breakfast or not?" He threw the door open, and I cringed, then remembered that he couldn't see. Thank God.

"We're coming," Fang said from the bed next to me.

Iggy stiffened. "Ooh, someone's been naughty," he chuckled. That was the last straw. I lashed out with my foot and sent Fang tumbling off of the edge of the bed. What? It wasn't a queen-size.

Unfortunately, Fang may be an insufferable jerk, but he was still smart. Which was why, before he fell, he grabbed the edge of the blanket, which I was still holding. I shrieked as I was dragged off the bed after him, landing in a heap on top of his shoulders.

"Oof," I moaned.

"Um…I'll leave you all to it," Iggy muttered, snickering. Then he closed the door and retreated downstairs, laughing his head off.

"Faaanng," I whined, "why –"

Fang stood so quickly I had no time to react. One moment we were crumpled on the floor, and the next I was slung over his shoulders like a lamb, his hands gripping my wrists and ankles.

"FANG!" I shouted in his ear. As usual, he remained expressionless. He grabbed the door knob, transferring my feet to his other hand, and slipped out into the hallway.

I can assure you that I did not go quietly. I kicked and struggled, but for all my awesome birdgirl superstrength, Fang had awesome birdBOY superstrength. And it normally just works out that boys are stronger than girls. Especially Fang. His arms were looking bigger, I wondered if-

Snap out of it, I told myself, and renewed my squirming. Too late.

"I've got a captive!" Fang shouted the second we stepped into the kitchen. The younger kids cheered, Nudge waving her fork in the air, Gazzy with his mouth full of yellow eggs. Angel smiled sheepishly, then returned to trying to stab an egg with a fork that had dulled edges. It was not working. Iggy modestly flipped another egg three, six, nine feet into the air and caught it right smack in the center of the pan.

"That's mine," I said groggily, pointing at the egg Iggy was making in resigned defeat.

Gazzy smiled suddenly. "Hey, Max," he said, "want some of my eggs?"

"Sure, Gaz," I said suspiciously.

He picked up the plate and made toward me with it, smiling angelically. Then he grabbed a fistful of egg and shoved it in my mouth.

"MM!" Indignant, I tried to spit the egg at Gazzy. But he ducked, and a wad of yellow, spitty eggs hit Fang in the head.

"Gross!" Nudge shrieked. Fang raised his eyebrows at me and shook his head. The eggs came flying off and hit Gazzy.

"EEW!" Gazzy yelled.

Suddenly, the house shook. Smoke filled the air, coming from God-knows-where. Iggy dropped the frying pan, and Angle dropped her plastic fork. Nudge's curls vibrated, making her head look even frizzier than before.

"Gazzy!" Nudge and I yelled, while Angel yelled "Iggy!" at the same time.

Confused, the boys shook their heads.

Instead of putting me down, Fang hitched me into a better position and ran outside onto the porch. The flock followed suit.

Then he stopped abruptly. Nudge hit him, but he didn't even sway.

Standing on the front porch was eight Erasers. The one in the front stepped forward and smiled cruelly, like the evil jerk he was. I didn't recognize any of them, but that wasn't really a surprise.

"Having fun?" he asked, looking pointedly at the egg on Gazzy's shirt. He blushed and wiped it off. I boiled in indignation.

"Let me down!" I hissed in Fang's ear. He moved his head sideways, so subtle that any mere human wouldn't have noticed it.

"What do you want?" Fang growled menacingly. Even I shuddered. The Erasers glanced at one another, shifting positions.

"We," growled the one in front, "want you."

With that, he launched himself at Nudge.

Eight Erasers – well, I'd eaten worse for breakfast. Angel had eaten worse for breakfast. But these Erasers were – seemingly – undefeatable. And it didn't help that we were wearing our pajamas, with no shoes on so it didn't hurt as much when we kicked 'em where it counts.

It still hurt, though. After Fang had – finally – put me down, and I'd kicked another Eraser double, I noticed something on the back of its neck. A seam.

"Nudge! Gazzy! Angel!" I shouted. "Back of their necks, on three!"

All three kids heaved their hands on the top of the Eraser's spines.

And all three kids disappeared.

With all of the Erasers.

Just like that, me, Fang, and Iggy were the only ones left on the porch. A bird chirped.

"Wh-what?" I exclaimed. "Where are they?"

"Gone," Fang stated.

"Well, thank you, Captain Obvious," I snarled, "for pointing that out. And may I ask you where you parked your ship? The ocean?"

"I don't own a ship," Fang explained, rolling his eyes.

I punched him. His nose started bleeding. He stared at me, shock and hurt registering in his eyes.

"I'M NOT AN IDIOT!" I shouted, getting in his face. "I KNOW YOU DON'T HAVE A DAMNED SHIP! ITS CALLED SARCASM, MORON! YOU HAVE RUINED MY ENTIRE DAY! SO FAR! I'VE HAD IT UP TO HERE WITH YOU!"

Fang leaned away from me, blood dripping off of his face. I whirled around and stomped off the porch, storming down to the mystery-flower bushes. They were like…hydrangeas, or – or chrysanthemums, or-

"Women," Iggy murmured to Fang, who was silent.

Were they really joking around? Our younger half had just disappeared! Iggy's best friend had just disappeared! And he was making sexist jokes?

I stood suddenly.

"We're going to go get them," I announced to the bush.

The bush did not reply. I looked up at Fang and Iggy, who were now arguing about something.

"Be glad you're staying here," I told the bush. "You should feel very, very lucky."

"Are you talking to that bush?" Fang called.

I straightened. "No!" I shouted at the boys, then looked back at the bush. "Sorry. I have a reputation to uphold. Bye, now. Don't go anywhere."

Then I leapt over the flowers to tell the boys.

There she be. Hope you like it.

Review! And check out my other story, Typical Mutant. It's better than this one. I'm just updating this one whenever I get a chance.

Adios,

Schne