The rerun of Terrance and Phillip had just begun when Eric Cartman heard the annoying chime of the doorbell.
"Mom, door!" he called out, opening a large bag of Cheesy Poofs. "Get the door!" he commanded after an entire minute of listening the doorbell start over every five seconds. When his mother never answered the door, the fat boy grumbled a curse as he did what he commanded his mother to do. Once he opened the door, a smirk crept across his face. "Well, hello, Kahl," he drawled.
The Jewish Ginger rolled his emerald eyes and worked a tic of annoyance in his jaw. "Did you do the research on our project yet?" he questioned already expecting an answer of procrastination.
"No." Cartman turned to walk towards the couch and planted his fat self in his spot. "We'll do that after this episode." He gestured to the screen. His eyes were then forever glued to the farting duo.
Kyle sat at the other end of the couch, resting his chin on the heel of his hand. He sighed with impatience but soon found himself laughing at the fart jokes Terrance and Phillip were spitting out.
Cartman hadn't touched the bag of Cheesy Poofs; they remained untouched between the two nine-year-old boys. Because Kyle had the sudden craving for them, he carefully inched his hand towards the bag of Cheesy Poofs, making sure he wasn't seen by the fat oaf on the other side of the couch.
"NO!" Cartman suddenly snapped, scaring Kyle. The fat boy slapped Kyle's hand away from the bag. "These are my Cheesy Poofs, Kahl!" he whined loudly.
Kyle arched a brow. Cartman had never glanced at him; his eyes remained glued to the television. How, Kyle thought, is that possible? Cartman never saw my hand; he never looked away from the TV.
The fat boy pulled out a handful of Cheesy Poofs and shoved them into his mouth. A laughter erupted from his mouth, spewing the cheesy coating all over the floor. Kyle figured that his companion would be too busy to notice a couple of Cheesy Poofs missing, so the Ginger tried to inch his hand slowly, making sure to watch Cartman carefully.
The same reaction occurred.
"How do you know?" the Jew questioned, stunned.
Cartman's eyes finally broke from the screen. "What?"
Kyle cocked his head. "How do you know when I'm about to grab some Cheesy Poofs?"
Cartman threw his head back and laughed. He thought it over for a split second and figured it was time he let Kyle in on a secret. "You see, Kahl," he began, "I have this special connection with Cheesy Poofs. Anytime someone is about to steal my Cheesy Poofs," he gestured to the Jew, "I just know, Kahl. It's too complicated to explain. You wouldn't understand anyway because you're a Jew!"
Kyle looked at Cartman skeptically. "A special connection, huh? You mean the kind of connection like if you eat on entire bag, you get fatter, right?" he joked.
Cartman rolled his chocolate eyes in frustration. "No, Jew rat! Do you remember the time I tried to fly off that roof, and I had psychic powers?"
"You didn't powers, retard."
"Yes, I did!" the fat boy scrunched his face in anger. "Anyway, as I was saying, I had powers and when they went away, or I thought they disappeared, I had this special connection with Cheesy Poofs." He paused for a minute. "And Kentucky Fried Chicken." He added while licking his lips, imagining the extra crunchy skin dipped in the KFC signature gravy (the kind that wasn't cut with Boston Market).
After a minute of watching the buffoon, Kyle gave Cartman a "really?" look, and slid off the couch.
"Just where do you think you're going?"
Kyle whirled around. "Oh, just somewhere." He left Cartman in the living room and went into Cartman's kitchen. He went straight to the pantry and pulled out a brand new, unopened bag of Cheesy Poofs. Kyle opened it slowly and quietly, hoping Cartman wouldn't come stomping in there and confiscating the bag from him. Cartman didn't. Kyle paid really no attention to the fact that Cartman wasn't there; he reached in the bag and slowly got out a single Poof. Kyle rolled it around in his hand for a second before placing it on his tongue and began to crunch it into bits. He then put the bag back and sauntered into the living room.
Cartman vanished. He wasn't hiding behind the couch, waiting to ambush Kyle. He wasn't on the stairs; he was just gone. There was no other way of describing it.
Kyle shrugged. "I'm just going to go home now, retard." He called out load, hoping Cartman heard it, wherever he went off to. He walked towards the door, but before Kyle could reach the doorknob, a massive weight knocked him down on his stomach.
"That will teach you to eat even just one single Cheesy Poof," Cartman whispered in Kyle's ear softly. He got off Kyle and started climbing up the stairs.
Kyle got off the floor, dusted himself off, and called out, "Where are you going?"
Cartman retraced his steps down the stairs. "Since the episode is over, we're going to do what we were going to do in the first place."
"And what is that?"
Cartman gave Kyle the "really?" look this time. "To work on our project, duh!" He left Kyle to go to his room.
The Jew rolled his eyes and called out, "Wait for me, fat boy!"
