I

I

The idea from this story came from a book called Speak written by Laurie Anderson. It's about a girl who gets raped and its actually pretty good… and from a bustling blond shinobi in orange… neither one was made or is owned by me… a pity really

I'm going for a thousand words a chapter not including this or the quote.

It is easier not to say anything. Shut your trap; button your lip, can it. All that crap you hear on T.V. about communication and expressing feelings is a lie. Nobody really wants to hear what you have to say

-Speak (9)

I used to wish I was dead. I used to try and kill myself, it never worked. Even with the villagers' help. They wouldn't help me in anything else. I used to cry and wallow in self pity. I used to scream at their touches and flinch when they moved. I used to cry when I seen them and froze when they came near. I would search for comfort, a thing I never had, only to find that no one would give me any, not my teachers, not my former hero the hokage, not my so called friends, because everyone is everyone else's friend when you're little, until you realize that you don't have to have friends and its much more fun to have some friends and hate the rest. Well, everyone was friends with everyone. Everyone except me, but according to people I wasn't human, I didn't have feelings and I wasn't worth it, so it didn't matter, not to them at least…

Nobody cared that I wasn't him. No one bothered to notice I wasn't IT. I was my own person, but no one would notice, or rather no one would care. It didn't matter anyway, for they wouldn't listen to my cries; instead they gave me theirs, their beatings and their harsh words filled with hate and malice. It never ended and it never will. The only thing was all they would say was IT, what was It? Who was IT? IT wasn't me. They must have me confused with someone else.

"Demon"

"Monster"

"DIE"

I got used to it at the age of six; I don't understand what was so bad. The bruises would heal, the tears dry up, so what was the point in even crying, why bother? It wouldn't stop anything and it couldn't help at all. I had to help myself. No one can see my tears if I cry alone. So why even cry? And if they could see those tears, should they?

"It your fault"

"I hate you"

Well I hate you too. I hate all of you. I won't act like it though. I'm not stupid and I won't let you get the satisfaction of being right; so I won't be a monster and I won't be like you guys say.

"Murderer"

"Demon"

"Monster"

I'll act like I can't notice. I'll act like I don't care. Watch me, loath me, hate me even more, for in the face of your torture I will laugh. All alone I will act the happiest, and I will smile the widest, and the brightest. People will always notice me, no matter where I am or who they were or how much they despise me. I will dress to catch attention; I will speak to catch attention. The way I walk will catch attention. I will get people, all people to notice me wherever I am. Go ahead try and catch me, try to beat me, just try. I won't let you anymore. I've had enough of being weak in front of you.

"We should kill it"

Before I kill you right? Whatever. So while your words may hurt me inside and they may sting till the point where I want to break and end it all, I will not let you see my pain. You will never see another tear fall from this face. You will never hear another cry for help from these lips. You will never see fear in these eyes. You will never hurt this body. You will only hate. That's all you can do. That's all I will allow you to do.

"Look at that"

"Stay away, sweetie, never go near that-that thing!"

Try and keep them away, just try to keep them safe from me. On the other hand its okay, I don't hate them as much as I hate you. They don't hate me; they only stay away because you say so. That is good enough for them. Unlike me, they can stay pure, unlike me they are innocent, and unlike me they are loved.

"Look at the monster all alone"

"It could hurt you"

"Like it did my family"

Can't you see, if I was going to kill you I would've done it already. You bodily fluids would be soaked into the ground and I would lick the blood off of my hands. No, you are not worthy enough to die by my hands. The funny thing is I'm happy you hate me and forced me to grow up. I am not ignorant like the rest of the children my age. I do not believe in ninja heroes or fairy tale princesses. There is no knight, no hero, no god. There is only you and me only this passing moment. It is ironic that by hating me and not teaching me at your so called school, you have taught me the most important life lessons. You taught me how to tell an enemy from a friend. You taught me how to defend myself. You taught me how the world works. For that I would thank you. I might… but my lips are sealed. No thanks shall be given, for no good deed goes unpunished and I have yet to decide your punishment.

"EVIL"

"Beast"

The names get worse everyday but that is the only thing that does, it's the only thing that can. No one has hit me since I decided that they can't. No pain, no fear, no cries were given since I stopped it myself. Am I, the demonic little beast as they call me, stronger than the whole village because when I decided it was all going to stop it did? I, a little kid, a hated little kid, controlled the village. And they laugh at me… well I laugh back, and I have a justified reason.

"Dead last, why do you wear such a stupid color"

I walk around in orange. Easily seen from anyone, anywhere. The answer to that teme's question is actually very simple but ignorance blocks his judgment. Everyone knows that the brightest animal, the one that does not hide, is the most dangerous. But he'll never understand, he's a little kid, well so am I, but I'm not so little mentally, he is, ignorance is bliss.

"because I like it teme!"

"Dobe…"

I don't like this kid. I want him to suffer like me, just a little like me, to prove that I am mentally strong; he would go insane if his family died. So I will make him feel loneliness through his family's death, and betrayal, let him feel the pain. Yes, let it drive him insane.

(A/N) Hey guys, I'm new at this so I don't know how good or bad this is. I have no beta so I hope everything it okay. This story has 8 parts, I think. It's just Naruto's thoughts as he goes through life, starting as a little kid and ending after the chunnin exams but before Sasuke runs away. Like right after the fight with Sand. Any mistakes you notice let me know and I might redo it if I figure out how.