Okay, here's an idea that's been done before, just with a new twist. Imagine what would happen if the models of the 40K verse themselves came alive? Well, one thing can be expected of course: amusement. Oh yes, this is entirely fictional, including the names of the people. Enjoy!
Warhammer 2010?
Chapter One: Life
Quote of the Day:"Minimum twelve thousand battleships, armed to the teeth. Ah! But we've got surprise on our side. They'll never expect three people to attack twelve thousand Dalek battleships because we'd be killed instantly. So it would be a fairly short surprise." – The Doctor - The Pandorica Opens – Doctor Who
I OPENED THE door of my bedroom and plunked myself down on my seat, looking at the Space Marines, Eldar, Tau and Tyranids that I had carefully positioned to re-enact a battle from the fictional world of the forty first millennium. Most of them I didn't paint, for I had either brought them from a charity shop or my brother had painted them. I only painted the Tyranid – and that had turned out badly. As I turned on the radio, I could hear bullets firing, as though they were... small and far-away.
I turned to the shelf where my models were positioned. They were moving. And firing. "Well, Crap."
"Death to the Xenos!" bellowed the Sergeant, his Chainsword revving into life. "For the honor of the Salamanders and for Vulkan!"
"Um..."
The Sergeant turned, and blinked. Soon everything else stopped firing, even the five Genestealers. Well, they couldn't actually stop firing as they had – well, no weapons, but they simply stopped. The Tau fire warriors stopped along with the lone Eldar Farseer.
"What is this new daemon?" asked The Sergeant.
"Whoa, whoa, slow down," I replied, backing away. "Firstly, I'm not a Daemon. Secondly, I'm a human, and thirdly, how the heck are you alive in my bedroom?"
"How can you be a human?" asked the Sergeant, surprised. "You are more than double the size of us."
"He is a Mon-Keigh," the Farseer admitted. "But how could this happen? We are no longer on the Battlefields of Contrax."
"No," replied the leader of the Tau squad. I didn't know his at least, I presumed it was a he, name or what was the equivalent of a Tau sergeant, because, well, I didn't have a big interest in collecting the upstarts, I was more of a Salamanders kinda guy. "We are not. And what has happened to these Genestealers? One is colored and the others are not."
"Well, that," I replied, "Is a bit hard to explain. You see, you're not in the forty-first millennium any more."
"Well where are we?" demanded the Sergeant.
"In my bedroom," I replied. "We're not in the forty-first millennium because we're in the twenty-first. Century."
"But... how is this possible? This must be some foul trickery of Chaos!" barked the Sergeant. "Why have you stopped firing, Marines? Kill all xenos!"
"Oh no you don't," I replied, and picked the Sergeant up, and separated him from his squad.
"This is a disgrace!" the Sergeant shouted, revving his Chainsword as I put him in a small see-through box. "I cannot be handled like this!"
Instantly, the sergeant tried to cut through the side of the box. "You will pay for this!"
"Shut up, please," I groaned, looking at the Space Marines who were trying to re-join their sergeant. "Oh no you don't. Farseer, I need your help. Could you like, cast a shield around the sergeant to prevent him using his sword?
"Chainsword!"
"I shall not help a mon keigh!"
"You shall be destroyed if you require the help of an xeno!" bellowed the Sergeant. "Brother Cordux, use your missile launcher! The bigger they are, the harder they fall!"
"Oh please," I frowned. Oh, have I still not told you my name? Sorry, I'm Leo, by the way. Leo Walker, and I'm fifteen, as you've probably guessed, I'm into Warhammer, 40K. I looked at the little Brother Cordux, who had just fired his missile launcher, and I had time to duck before the blast hit the ceiling. Thankfully, nothing caught fire. Just as he was about to reload, I took off his weapon. His other squad mates tried to fire on me, but to no avail.
The Tau didn't even bother firing. When they saw my big bulk compared to the other races, they threw down their weapons and one pulled a white flag out of his pocket.
"We are the Tau!" the Sergeant exclaimed. "We never surrender! The Greater Good shall overcome any obstacle!"
"Um, your mate just pulled out a white flag so I guess you just did," I frowned. "Also, where did you get a white flag?"
"I carry it around," the Fire Warrior mumbled, and even with his helmet on, I could tell he was frightened. "Just in case."
"Well, that settles things," I remarked, picking up the Tau Sergeant and putting him in a separate box to the Space Marine, who had tried to lob a grenade, only to find it bouncing off against the wall and back to where he was, causing the Sergeant to dive for cover. "Now, Sergeant of the Salamanders, could you tell me your name? That way I don't have to refer to you as Sergeant."
"I will not-"
"Oh shut up, please?" I asked, and reached for a toy sword which my brother (who's about nine) had put in my room for some reason. Thankfully, my family was out. I was staying at home because I was meant to be doing some revision for a GSCE. Now, this would complicate things dramatically. Thankfully there wasn't anything else alive in my room. "Now, your name?"
"I am Sergeant Tsu'gan of the Salamanders."
"Tsu'gan?" I asked, smiling. "I've got a whole book about you."
"A book?"
"Yes," I said, reaching to Salamander, by Nick Kyme, and picking it up. It showed his picture on the front.
"But how can you have a book that is about me when I haven't even done these things in the twenty-first century yet?" asked Tsu'gan, and I was surprised at the changed tone.
"I'll help you find out," I began. "Now, Sergeant; could you order your squad to stop fire on me?"
"Yes," Tsu'gan responded. "Brothers, he is not our enemy. Concentrate fire on the xenos."
"No," I replied. "The Tau and Eldar need our help as well."
"We do not need your help!" The Farseer protested, and I ignored her, grateful that she hadn't used any psychic powers. "I can survive on my own. I will find my fellow species in the stars and then warn them about she who thirsts."
"A lone Eldar Farseer who isn't as tall as me?" I asked, surprised. "Listen. Your fellow Eldar are no offense to you by the way, at this time, arrogant. They will blast you into pieces for speaking of such things. They would not believe you. I need your help to get you all back home."
Reluctantly, the Farseer nodded. "Now," I replied, opening the window. "Let's get some fresh air, shall we?"
Unfortunately, the sound of birds did not greet my ears. It was the sound that I really didn't want to hear.
The sound of gunfire. The sound of one unified cry that could be heard even though there were three floors between me and the ground, and a hedge in the way between the field where this new threat was. And it didn't sound as if they wanted tea and biscuits.
"WAAAGGGHHHHHHH!"
Thankfully, my family would not be back until late.
TO BE CONTINUED...
Well, did you enjoy it? All you have to do is click that review button and write a few words to tell me what you thought. Chapter two will be posted as soon as possible, and thankfully, unlike Leo, I have no GSCE's that I have to revise for until next year.
