NOTE: Slayers and all its characters and spells do not belong to me. The events in this fan fic are mine, of course. I wrote this, like, two years ago, (I was 13), so if the style's a little elementary, please be kind! I say this is humor, but it is (or will be) a bit of everything (Romance, Action, Mystery, etc.) The events in this Slayers fiction take place after Slayers Try (last season of Slayers TV series). Anything that contradicts actual happenings in the Slayers shows/movies, is just an accident or something. Remember, this is just a fic! Anyway, enjoy!

Slayers Cure

Chapter 1a



Lina Inverse held her cards close to her chest as if they were a child. No one could see them except for her own self and Zelgadis, who stood looking over her shoulder. Her opponent mimicked her secretive posture so that he was the only one seeing his own cards. It was times like these when Lina wished she specialized in mind reading. She also wished she could keep her disappointment hidden from the man across from her, since she had the worst hand of cards in the history of man.

But it was too late. The man saw she was at a weak point in the game and took a strike. "Got any," the man whispered in his raspy voice, grinning a huge, toothless grin, "threes?"

Yes, the game is Go Fish. Lina never usually played cards, since serious gamblers never, ever played Go Fish, which was the only card game Lina Inverse knew. There was no time to be a sorceress and a gambler at the same time!

Behind her, Zelgadis sighed and turned away from the table at which the gamblers sat. Lina's opponent stared at the peculiar chimera, knowing that he saw the three right in front of him.

The man smiled and said, "Hand it over, girly."

Cursing, Lina picked the card out of her hand and gave it to the man. He smiled back at her as he placed down his last two cards and grabbed the fifty gold pieces from the center of the table. Putting out his cigarette in the ash tray, he laughed, "Pleasure doin' business with ya!" The three men at his side laughed with him.

"Yeah, yeah," Lina murmured. She always was a grouch when she didn't win something, whether it be a raffle or a battle. She turned to Zelgadis and said softly enough so that the men on the other side of the table couldn't hear, "I let him win. Let's go."

Zelgadis folded his arms over his chest. "I'm sure." He then followed her out the door of the smoky bar and outside.

Gourry was standing there, looking in the window of a bakery, drooling at the cakes and pastries before him. He turned when he saw Lina's reflection in the window and gave her a smile. "Win anything?"

"Shut up!" Lina answered. She grabbed his hair and pulled him down the road. "You weren't there. That hexed me."

"Usually," Zelgadis said, "you say Gourry gives you bad luck when he is there, don't you?"

Lina lifted her hand as if to hit him, but lowered when she saw that Zel didn't flinch. She then turned and lifted her proud little nose in the air like a rich princess. "I'm hungry, let's go eat."

Zelgadis stopped walking. "What about Amelia?"

Lina turned around and smiled. "Oh, don't worry. Our little princess will know where we are! After all, we told her to meet us at the inn in an hour." Facing forward again, she began to walk down the street.

Zelgadis blushed. "I wasn't worried. More like curious."

"Whatever," Lina replied, not even bothering to turn around.

"Hey, Lina," Gourry said as he brushed off his pants, "Wasn't that three hours ago?"

Before Gourry could even finish the last word, Lina felt the sudden chill she usually gets when she knows Amelia's going to get mad at her. She turned to face Gourry, grabbed his shoulders and said, "Then may God have mercy on our souls!"

They arrived at the inn in the little village in little time. The village was small, but extremely important to both Lina and Zelgadis. Gourry and Amelia could care less, but since they were good friends with Lina, they traveled with her anyway. Zelgadis felt slightly left out, since no one cared where he traveled. Well, maybe Amelia. He always pretended he didn't want help in his quest to find his cure, but in actuality, he needed it. Lina always seemed to know where information about curses and their cures were. This village was one that Lina recommended. All she wanted in this place was the knowledge of strong spells she was curious about. But, alas, this place just used a fake spell book that taught you how to gamble, this village being the gambling capital of the country.

The princess was waiting impatiently in the inn's dinning room, chin resting on her hand, fingers tapping noisily on the table's thick, dark wood. She glared at Lina, Zelgadis, and Gourry as if they had left her behind in some dark forest. Her eyes darted from Gourry to Zel to Lina in a strange pattern. She merely had her eyes on Gourry and Lina for a millisecond, but her eyes stayed on Zelgadis for much longer. When the group finally reached the table, Amelia's face was red with anger and her nails dug into her skin like a bird-of-prey clutching onto its victim.

Finally, after several minutes of silent anger, Amelia spoke. "Where were you guys? We were supposed to meet back here over two hours ago! I thought you said you'd be on time! You lied to me, Miss Lina!"

"Geez, Amelia," Lina replied, acting calm through Amelia's anger. "Two hours is only two hours! What difference does it make if we were two hours or two minutes or two seconds late?"

Amelia slammed her fist on the table. "A lot of difference! You were late!"

Lina only smiled, obviously amused by Amelia's anger and worry. The two men didn't know whose side to take, Lina's or Amelia's. If they took Lina's, they'd be fighting for the wrong side. On the other hand, if they took Amelia's, the right side, Lina would get angry and probably beat both of them up!

"Amelia, you worry too much!" Lina exclaimed. "You act like we were gone for three days!"

"It felt like that," Amelia said rather silently, looking up at Zelgadis, who was trying not to meet her gaze. "You could have been captured. Or hurt. Or dead!"

"Don't make such a big deal out of it! Are we captured? No. Are we hurt? No. Are we dead? I sure hope not! Just take it easy, Amelia."

The princess looked at her hands as if there was something in them to look at. She gave a little sigh then smiled. "Well, you're alright. That's what counts."

Lina smiled back, satisfied that Amelia wasn't angry anymore. "I'll try not to be too late next time, Okay?"

Tilting her head slightly, like she always did when she was happy, she answered, "Okay."

All Zelgadis thought was, "This is much too sappy for me. I'm getting a drink." He moseyed on over to the bar to order something hot, like coffee, or tea. The bartender looked up from cleaning a glass. He had a surprised look on his face, as if he'd seen a ghost.

"Um, sorry, uh, sir," he said, "we don't serve, um, your kind here."

Zel put his hands on the counter and leaned slightly. The man flinched as if Zelgadis was going to hit him. "My kind?"

"L-look," the bartender stammered, "I don't want no trouble." He was ready to duck if necessary.

"What do you mean by 'my kind'?" Zelgadis asked, calmly.

The bartender looked at the people in his inn who were staring at the chimera, waiting for a fight. "N-no trouble, sir."

Zel rolled his eyes. "I don't want any trouble either. I just want to set things straight." He paused, looking behind him, where about twenty people in the crowded room stared back at him, while the others were trying to get a view of him. "What do you mean by 'my kind'?" he repeated.

Reaching under the counter, the tender answered, still stammering like a nervous child, "I'm, I'm n-not aloud t-to s-s-serve th-those of th- the m-monster r-race."

The man ducked, but Zel could have easily hit him, if he had wanted to. People murmured and some made their way towards the door. Zel felt like laughing, kind of. This man had mistaken him for a monster. Sure, to the untrained eye, he did look like one.

"I'm not a monster," the chimera informed.

More murmurs erupted from behind him, some he could even make out, but not totally. He recognized Lina Inverse's voice out of all the others, since hers was the loudest.

"Oh, man!" Lina said behind Zelgadis. "Zel's probably pissed! I hope he doesn't kill the guy. It's an honest mistake, I think."

The bartender started to rise slowly, but shrank back down again when Zel nervously shifted his weight from one foot to the other. "Y-you're lying! I know your k-kind when I see y-you!"

Two large men came out of the crowd, obviously the police, or something. They came to Zelgadis's side. One of them put his hand on Zel's shoulder. "Come on, don't cause trouble," he said. His voice didn't match his body, it was high and quiet.

Zel looked up at him. He was at least seven and a half feet tall and unusually chubby. He'd absorb all of Zel's spells with all that fat and muscle, then crush Zel's five foot ten inch body.

Fat burns, he reminded himself in his head.

"Just leave, creature," the other one said, this one about the same height and weight, give or take a pound.

"Creature?" Zel questioned his words, anger billowing up inside. "I'm a human, like you two."

The crowd laughed, except for his friends.

"Yeah, right," the first guy said. "What is that, a costume? makeup?"

Butterflies fluttered inside of Zelgadis and his face was getting red. "It's real."

The two guys chuckled before the second one said, "Then how could you say you're human?"

Some one in the crowd murmured, "Crazies."

"Long story, no time to tell it," Zelgadis answered, making his way towards the door. "See ya."

The whole crowd laughed, Zel thought he even heard Gourry laughing at him, as he pushed his way through the crowd. How could he be so stupid? He was retreating! He never retreats, but now he was because he was too embarrassed. He hadn't retreated when he fought Shabrinigdo, why now?

He walked down the road with Lina, Gourry, and Amelia close behind.

"Wait, Zel!" Lina shouted at him. "Stop!"

He didn't.

"Mr. Zelgadis!" Amelia's high pitch voice rang. "You're over- reacting!"

That did it. He turned unexpectedly, causing Amelia to bump right into his chest. She fell backwards onto the ground.

"Over-reacting?" Zel repeated. "You don't know what it's like to live like a side show freak! I mean, look at me!" The three looked at him. "Who would tolerate me? Huh? Who? That's what I thought: nobody! I'm ugly! Uglier than, than, than Xellos!"

Lina and Gourry gave eachother surprised looks. Zelgadis had never compared himself to the Mysterious Priest before. But Amelia stood up.

"Mr. Zelgadis!" Amelia exclaimed. "You are NOT ugly at all!"

"Neither is Xellos," Lina whispered to Gourry.

Amelia continued. "This curse, or so you call it, is not a curse at all, but a blessing! The body you live in at the present is more handsome than any others!" (At this point, Zelgadis blushed.) "You should be happy with the way you look now! Like me and Gourry!"

"Hey!" Lina cried. "I'm happy with the way I look too!"

"That's right, Miss Lina," Amelia carried on. "It's okay that some women are under developed."

"Why you little...!" Lina screamed, trying to get to Amelia to choke her, but Gourry held her back.

"Anyway," Amelia started again, "beauty is not on the outside, but the inside. It is only skin-er-rock skin deep! And you can quote me on that!"

Zelgadis's face was a rosy red by the time Amelia finished her last sentence. Sure, this pro-justice, self-esteem enthusiast, princess thought he was handsome, but other people thought he was grotesque! He didn't mention that because Amelia would probably say something like, "It doesn't matter what others think!"

Amelia smiled a big, friendly, sickly smile at him, but he just started walking again. She followed, but Lina and Gourry just said they were going to stay at a different inn for the night.

Zel turned to face Amelia. "What?" he asked.

"Mr. Zelgadis," Amelia started. "Did you hear what I said?"

After sighing, Zel answered, "Yes. Who couldn't hear you?"

Blushing, Amelia replied, "Did it mean anything to you?"

Rolling his eyes, he asked, "What do you mean by that?" They had been through this before. Amelia had told him how she thought he was handsome, or something like that, and then asked if it meant anything to him. He would always change the subject, or ignore her after he asked, "What do you mean by that?"

"Um..." Amelia's blushing made her look like a ripe tomato. "Do you, uh, I mean, do you like it when I say things like that?"

Zel rolled his eyes and turned around. "Amelia, I'm just going to say this to you once, not to hurt you, or to make you hate me, but no, I don't like it when you say things like that. Now, if you don't mind, I'm just going to make a camp out in the woods." He hurried away from her so that she couldn't catch up.

Amelia began to turn the opposite way, but stopped to think. He couldn't mean that! He likes me, I know he does. A small tear began to fall from her eye onto her left cheek, but she wiped it away. Love takes awhile. It just does! I can't let one little comment destroy my love for Zelgadis! For the first time, she hadn't thought of him as "Mr. Zelgadis", just plain "Zelgadis". Did she dare think of him like that and make his name so informal? Oh, she dared. With a little girlish giggle, Amelia began to follow Zel's path into the woods. Why? She didn't really know herself, but whatever the reason, she was going to Zelgadis!

Chapter 1b

It was night, several hours after dusk, yet Zelgadis was still awake. Wide awake. Owls and crickets made their nightly noises around him. He secretly thought they must have been mocking him as well. Why was he always being the laughing stalk of everyone's lives? He half expected himself to come up with the wise answer, but, of course, nothing came to his mind.

Sleep seemed like a luxury he could not have at the moment. With eyes sagging, he tried to welcome the sleep, but he was always brought back to the ready position by some noise or another. Then he would lean against a rough tree trying once again to fall asleep, like the rest of the world.

In his mind, he pictured his friends asleep in warm beds, without a care in the world. Lina, with covers all over the place, Gourry in the room next door, snoring like there was no tomorrow, then Amelia...Oh, he didn't really care how she slept, the annoying little brat! What was wrong with her? Her obsession with him was unbearable, probably for both of them.

Before he could stop himself, a picture of Xellos popped into his mind. In the picture, Xellos was sleeping on a hard, dark rock with several spikes shooting out of it. Xellos was tossing and turning in his sleep, as if something was disturbing him. Zel tried desperately to shove the image out of his head, but couldn't. After awhile, the image drew closer to Xellos's face. He seemed much younger, about the age of twelve, maybe eleven. What was that on his face? It was wet, but it couldn't be! Tears? Xellos was crying! Zelgadis almost smiled. If only this were real life. It would be extremely humorous to see this guy crying in his sleep. But this person on the rock didn't seem like the Mysterious Priest at all. Despite his appearance, which was just a youthful Xellos, the monster was totally different, he was more human. Somehow, some way, Zelgadis knew this image was of a boy, not the evil demon he knew all too well.

Just as suddenly as the image popped into his head, it disappeared. Zel tried to picture it again, but couldn't. Why was his imagination doing this to him? What the hell was that image? And, is this a trick? The only answer he could come up with was, "Now that is a secret!", which wasn't what he wanted to hear, especially in his own mind!

Suddenly, there was a rustling in the bush behind him. He quickly grabbed his sword and stood in his defensive stance. The rustling only grew louder and spread to other bushes. With sword pointing to the leafy bushes, Zelgadis cried, "Who's there?"

The rustling stopped for a moment, and then a figure came out of the bush and into the little clearing where Zel was camping. It came closer to Zel as he sighed and said, "What do you want?"

It was none other than Princess Amelia. Her nervous smile was spread across her face as she sat down near the fire. She looked up at Zelgadis and her face became solemn.

"Oh, Mr. Zelgadis!" she cried. "I'm sorry I scared you!"

"Scared me?" the chimera replied. "Hardly." Though his heart was beating slightly faster than usual.

Amelia looked at the fire. "I was worried about you."

Zelgadis sighed. "Thanks, but no thanks. I don't need you to worry about me! I'm perfectly fine. Now, if you don't mind, I was drifting off to sleep before you woke me up! Go back to the village!"

"But, Mr. Zelgadis!" Amelia stood up and looked at him in the eyes. "It's dark and scary in the woods. I'll never make it back to the village without being attack by some wild animal."

"You're a sorceress," Zel answered, "you'll be fine. Go, please."

With lower lip beginning to tremble, Amelia pouted, "You're right." She slowly walked towards the path. "I'll be fine." She was almost into the darkness. "It's okay if I get a little hurt, right? I mean, no pain no gain. Sure, I'll probably get lost when I'm trying to run from a wolf or whatever. No food and water for several days isn't bad, is it? At least, if worst comes to worst, some one is bound to find my cold, rotting body in the middle of the woods. Hopefully they'll be able to identify me and I'll have a nice funeral."

"Yup."

Tears streamed down her face like waterfalls. She turned away from Zel and walked into the woods, cursing the person who told her that reverse psychology always works.

When she was out of sight, Zelgadis lay back down, not knowing how the hell he was going to get to sleep, or when for that matter.

"Oh well," he thought aloud, "at least Amelia's not here with me."