Disclaimer and author's notes: I do not own Gintama (or any of the series, characters, and other things I reference in passing; will include them by the end of the fic). Cross-posted to AO3. I took a few liberties with some behind-the-scenes details as part of fan interpretation. I fleshed Tetsu out a bit more here based on my own opinions of him. There are original characters in the form of Shinsengumi members I've simply given names to in order to make things easier.

This fic is an anthology of vignettes as opposed to chapters, which I would've written and set up differently. Unlike my angst-heavy debut fic, this one is balanced with comedy and follows in line with Sorachi's title choices (except for some serious chapters that he gives smaller titles to). I've been a Gintama fan for almost twelve years now, so I'm not unfamiliar with anything Sorachi does with his characters; I just expand on the possibilities.

Much thanks to Valery for the feedback and endless support, as always – I cannot thank you enough!


The Birth of a New Life Always Hurts Like Hell

"If you ever doubt the path you're on, look within yourself and find your purpose again. Then, keep walking forward."

Tetsunosuke had engraved these words upon his heart and soul the second he'd heard them. After spending most of his life drowning in degrading insults about his physical appearance and cold condescending remarks from his family, these words from Hijikata provided the life raft Tetsunosuke needed. Finally at a point of stability, he could now surge forward with renewed confidence in himself and the promise of a meaningful future.

"Keep walking forward and get me those damn cigarettes I asked for half an hour ago."

Tetsunosuke bowed several times. "My apologies, Vice-Chief!" Standing rigid in the doorway with his arms sealed to his sides, Tetsunosuke faced Hijikata, who was sitting before his desk and a pile of legislative paperwork with an inked brush in hand. "I was on my way to the vending machines when Captain Okita—"

"Stop." Hijikata set down the brush and crossed his arms, irritation flashing in his eyes. "There are a few things you need to know now that you're here permanently. One is to never trust Sougo."

"Yes, sir!"

"Two is, never trust Sougo."

"Yes, sir!" Of course, Tetsunosuke had heard the eyewitness accounts passed around as legends and horror stories among the men about Okita Sougo's sadistic tendencies, bloodlust, and general aptitude for the sword. He believed them wholeheartedly, but now more so with Hijikata's emphasized warnings.

"Three – when I give you orders, you complete them, no matter what. Don't argue, don't get sidetracked, don't listen to what anyone else says – just do as I say. I don't care if you're in the middle of a conversation, if you're about to piss your pants, or if Sougo told you to take a bottle of mayonnaise to me that is probably poisoned – get the task done first. Otherwise, I'll have you commit seppuku."

"Understood, sir!" While Hijikata's overall exterior didn't change, Tetsunosuke could feel the severity and promise of punishment radiating from Hijikata's tone. The second-in-command and right-hand man of Kondou Isao was a man to be feared, indeed, but Tetsunosuke also admired him with the desire to follow absolutely through on every order issued.

"Good." Hijikata picked up the brush again and signed the document. "Now, go get my Mayoboros and then run a hundred laps around the compound for failing to bring them to me sooner. I want you done before dinner."

"Yes, sir!"

"Wait!"

Tetsunosuke halted in place and spun around. "Vice-Chief?"

"He really gave you mayonnaise, didn't he?"

"Er, yes…" After Hijikata's earlier comment, Tetsunosuke now intended to dispose of the bottle Okita had given him, supposing it was a trap of some sort. As Hijikata's assistant, Tetsunosuke realized he would need to become more discerning of things specially gifted to the vice-chief.

Hijikata sighed and held out a hand. "Alright, give it to me. All mayonnaise requires personal inspection."

Tetsunosuke obeyed and didn't dare question why Hijikata felt the need to inspect a product already under suspicion of in-house tampering.

"I wonder what that idiot did this time…" Hijikata took the round-shaped bottle and unscrewed the red cap. He sniffed the contents, frowning and peering inside. "Nothing smells out of—" He stopped, the colour draining from his face. "Shit, it's a grenade—"

That day, after limping along with a furious Hijikata through the wreckage, en route to the medical wing, Tetsunosuke learned that grenades came in all shapes and sizes, like Shinsengumi soldiers, and that he was never to trust Okita again when it came to Hijikata.


Tetsunosuke sat down at a free table by himself, as soldiers poured into the mess hall and lined up to receive lunch. He had arrived early, hoping to try something first before too many people would witness it. Curry and rice was a common meal served in the Shinsengumi mess hall – and was the lunch for today – and while Tetsunosuke had tasted better, he suspected he would consider the cafeteria's standards preferable to what he was about to taste.

He looked down at his tray of food, which included a small squeeze bottle of mayonnaise at the side.

One of his morning errands after practice was to hand-deliver letters and government documents to intended personnel and pick up mayonnaise if Hijikata's supply was almost empty. Mayonnaise, Tetsunosuke was learning, played an integral role in the organization of the Shinsengumi. If Hijikata had gorged himself to his heart's content on the condiment, he was usually in a better mood and operations progressed normally. If he hadn't or was low on it or had been denied it for some reason, Hijikata was even shorter-tempered than usual and that meant extra laps, extra swings, and extra punishment for all.

As the official assistant to the vice-commander, Tetsunosuke took it upon himself to ensure Hijikata never had too little for the sake of everyone's lives. Supply inventory was conducted each morning in Hijikata's quarters, which Tetsunosuke was allowed to enter when work hours began or at request. As long as he didn't fiddle around with locked drawers or personal belongings, Tetsunosuke was trusted to view the mayonnaise supply, refill ink bottles, or generally straighten out any mess of paperwork – a rare occurrence, as Hijikata was neat and orderly in most things. His sparsely furnished room contained no clutter or ornaments to distract him from his duties, either.

A few exchanges of conversation and eavesdropping informed Tetsunosuke that everyone else in the Shinsengumi didn't share the same love Hijikata had for mayonnaise. Well, most were rather indifferent to it, some enjoyed it on the side, but no one other than Hijikata was ever seen drowning their food with it or consuming it like alcohol.

Still, Tetsunosuke reasoned, for a man of impeccable disposition and organization, there must be a reason that Hijikata swore by mayonnaise and adorned everything he ate with it. Life was about risks and Tetsunosuke had already taken some great ones. Adding a generous amount of mayonnaise to his lunch today posed the least risk of all. If it was truly fatal, there wouldn't be a banner above the doorway that directed everyone to have mayonnaise five times a week written what he recognized as Hijikata's personal calligraphy style.

Untwisting the cap and holding the bottle above his meal, Tetsunosuke took a deep breath and squeezed the bottle, watching as mayonnaise oozed out and spread upon the rice and curry, his hand moving around in a slow, looping pattern.

"What are you doing? Are you seriously going to eat that?"

Tetsunosuke almost jumped out of his skin, squeezing the bottle hard enough to drop a great blob of the condiment onto his rice. "Y-Yamazaki-senpai!" He set the bottle down with a thud and looked at the only Shinsengumi spy with a ninja license. "How long have you been there?"

Yamazaki's chewing slowed, as his expression morphed from incredulity to disappointment. "But I've been here for five minutes already…" He sighed. "Never mind that. More importantly, why are you poisoning your food? Do you realize what you're doing?"

Tetsunosuke looked back at his meal, as if needing to confirm with his own eyes again. "I'm eating mayonnaise-flavoured curry."

"It looks more like curry-flavoured mayonnaise now! It's almost as much as Vice-Chief adds!" A shade of pale green washed over Yamazaki's face, as he glanced back and forth between the food and Tetsunosuke. "I understand you're Vice-Chief's assistant, but you don't have to go this far!"

By now, some of the men were staring at their table, and judging by their alarmed expressions, Tetsunosuke gathered that Hijikata's style of condiment-enhanced dining wasn't popular. "I know that, but if it's good enough for Vice-Chief, then it's good enough for me!"

Yamazaki took a small bite of anpan, shaking his head. "Don't say I didn't warn you."

"Well, it's a rite of passage for new recruits at this point," said a shaggy-haired soldier, Nakashima, sitting down across from Tetsunosuke with a meal tray, "If you can survive that, you can survive anything."

Someone Tetsunosuke remembered as Eguchi – due to their shared preference for shaved hairstyles – sat down beside him, cringing in obvious disgust. "Did you receive praise from Vice-Chief today?"

"Yeah, one time he approved of my actions during an undercover investigation," Yamazaki cut in, "and he brought me soba-flavoured mayonnaise." He nodded his head toward Tetsunosuke. "This guy, though – he's doing it of his own free will."

Nakashima and Eguchi just shook their heads sadly.

Seeds of doubt were threatening to take root, but Tetsunosuke decided to plow ahead. If everyone had earned their keep in the Shinsengumi by taking part in this bizarre mayonnaise ritual, then he would, too. Besides, it would please Hijikata greatly – of that, Tetsunosuke was never more certain. So, he took his first bite.

The explosion of flavour in his mouth was a zesty kind of sweetness, followed by the taste of curry sauce, stewed beef, carrots, onions, and rice combined together, all trying to win out against the mayonnaise. He didn't know what to think at first, so he kept eating spoonful after spoonful, trying to form an opinion while the others watched and placed bets.

After consuming half the plate, he started to think that everyone was overreacting when his whole body was struck with waves of nausea. Taking deep breaths, Tetsunosuke set down his spoon and tried to focus on the edge of the table – anything but the taunting swirls of mayonnaise on his curry rice.

"Four minutes - you owe me 5000 yen," Eguchi said to Nakashima with a grin.

"Never mind that!" Yamazaki cried, "He's about to—

Tetsunosuke's vision blurred, as he toppled over backward with his chair. His vision swam with images of strange humanlike creatures with teardrop-shaped heads and tufts of brown hair, wearing red fundoshi and prancing around a fountain of mayonnaise.

"It's a Code 15!" Yamazaki said, pushing his chair back. "Hurry, let's take him to the sick bay!"

Tetsunosuke convulsed and groaned. "What's a…Code 15?"

"Mayonnaise poisoning," Eguchi answered in his left ear, hooking an arm under his and hauling him to his feet.

"There's a code for that?"

"It happens so often, it needed its own code," Nakashima said in his right ear, and Tetsunosuke felt his feet gliding across the floor, heard Yamazaki shouting somewhere ahead of them for everyone to make way. "Code 9 means the attack on Vice-Chief is from Captain Okita, no need to panic."

"Code 14 is Mayonnaise Cafeteria Special. I recommend taking city patrol duty during mealtimes."

"Code 25 is Yorozuya interference."

Tetsunosuke recalled his last experience with the silver-haired Yorozuya boss. He had yet to encounter the other two members.

"Code 30 means Otae-san is coming here. Code 31 means Otae-san is coming here in a bad mood. Either way, we have to be careful."

Tetsunosuke was about to ask who 'Otae-san' was when he hurled instead.

"Wait, I just finished mopping these floors!" cried a different voice Tetsunosuke recognized as Kumanaku from the first unit. The tall man with long nose and a prominent mole in the center of his forehead was still holding a mop and pail.

"We have an emergency Code 15!" Yamazaki shouted, leading the way down the hall.

Kumanaku's appalled expression disappeared. "Oh, well, pardon me – please carry on. I do not mind mopping again. It is important to eliminate germs immediately—"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever - move!"

Tetsunosuke's last thought before he fell unconscious was how he needed to learn all the codes when he woke up.

Twenty minutes later, he found himself staring at the ceiling of the medical ward, feeling as though he was still floating in a gigantic tub of mayonnaise with the naked creatures smiling down upon him. One of them spoke to him, informing him of the extent of the mayonnaise poisoning and that his system was almost clear of it, and telling him to keep his eyes on the ceiling.

"Happens all the time in this strange place," said the fairy, although he now resembled a white-haired bespectacled man with a stethoscope around his neck. He was shining a light in Tetsunosuke's eye, arching an eyebrow he inspected all around. "As common as a cold virus or acne."

"Sorry to call you in again for something like this," came Yamazaki's voice from somewhere off the side, "He's a new guy."

The doctor nodded, turning off the flashlight. "They all learn eventually." His mustachioed mouth twisted into a wry smile when Tetsunosuke groaned. "Welcome back to the living."

"Where did I go?" Tetsunosuke mumbled, blinking.

He spent the next hour recovering from the experience, drifting in and out of sleep and sometimes forcing himself to stay awake until the fairies faded from his dreams. Unexpectedly, Hijikata turned up to visit him some time after returning from his morning meeting with police-commissioner Matsudaira Katakuriko and Bakufu officials.

Tetsunosuke struggled to sit up, wanting to stand and properly greet his vice-chief, but Hijikata told him to stay put. "Skipping out on the recovery process only leads to subpar efforts later on, which is unacceptable." Hijikata took the cigarette out of his mouth and blew smoke, blatantly disregarding the sign on the wall that forbid smoking in front of patients. "Take one step away from here before you're dismissed and I'll send you right back in both your legs broken so you can't leave again."

Tetsunosuke nodded and lay on his back again, wincing when his stomach ached and bubbled. It might be another hour before his body was fully rid of the mayonnaise excess.

"What happened?"

"Code 15, sir."

Hijikata frowned at him. "Humph. You've got a long way to go if you want to conquer your weaknesses. If everyone trained harder, we wouldn't need such a ridiculous code."

"Yes, sir." Tetsunosuke paused, wondering, and then said, "Thank you for checking up on me!"

Hijikata puffed on his cigarette. "Just making sure you aren't dead. I have a mountain of old paperwork that needs to be sorted and archived, and I don't want you falling behind."

Tetsunosuke smiled in spite of the pain. "Yes, Vice-Chief!"


"Take this to Shimaru."

Tetsunosuke took the sealed envelope from Hijikata's hands and stared at the name written upon it in fairly neat handwriting.

Towering over most with a prominent head of thick orange hair, Saitou Shimaru was captain of the third unit, notorious as the 'Silent Squad.' Tetsunosuke had not heard further details yet, but he had seen the captain before from a distance – hard to miss that distinct hairstyle – and knew from others that he seldom spoke, if at all. Communication was done primarily through a notebook along with letters.

Earlier that month, he had witnessed a battle between Saitou and a new recruit – later revealed to be the wanted terrorist Katsura Kotarou. Saitou was volatile, relentless, and while the famed Katsura had shown himself to be an equally powerful warrior, Tetsunosuke couldn't help fearing Saitou more because of his silence, which was all the more unnerving.

As he approached Saitou's quarters, Tetsunosuke tried to stay calm and focused. The members who'd been around since the beginning spoke favourably of the captain, praising his skills and his single-mindedness in accomplishing missions. Saitou was on a first-name basis with those members and the leaders. He'd been with the Shinsengumi for years without problem, so there shouldn't be a reason to fear meeting him that much. They were comrades now, after all.

After taking a few deep breaths, Tetsunosuke plastered on an eager smile. He stepped into Saitou's open doorway and called, "Captain Saitou! I have a letter for you from Vice-Chief!"

Saitou was sitting at his table with his back facing the doorway, hunched over and weapons absent from view.

Letting half a minute pass first, Tetsunosuke called out again, "Captain Saitou? Sir?"

Saitou still didn't stir.

Thinking maybe the captain had passed out or worse, Tetsunosuke excused himself and dashed inside and stopped a few feet short of the man. "Captain?"

With half his face hidden from view as per usual, Saitou let out a loud snore, his forehead plastered to his paperwork. "Zzz…"

Dread relaxed into relief, and Tetsunosuke smiled, thinking that the captain must've worked so hard today that he had decided to indulge in a nap. Tetsunosuke couldn't remember ever seeing Hijikata nap and Kondou was rarely lethargic. In fact, the only leader who could be found napping half the time, sometimes during meetings, was Okita.

Tetsunosuke moved forward to place the letter on the desk, hoping not to wake him. He had barely taken one step when the tip of a sword stopped inches from his face with Saitou's slit-eyed gaze locked on him.

Yelping, blood turning cold, Tetsunosuke threw up both hands in surrender. "C-C-Captain Saitou!"

Saitou blinked and then withdrew his sword quickly, jumping to his feet and waving his hands around frantically.

Unsure of what his actions were conveying, Tetsunosuke thrust the letter out in front of him, both hands shaking, heart pounding in his ear. "I-I'm sorry for disturbing you, Captain, but I have a letter from Vice-Chief! We haven't met formally before, but I'm Vice-Chief's assistant, Sasaki Tetsunosuke, at your service!"

Saitou pulled down his scarf and revealed eyes and a smile so wide that blood vessels and molars were clearly visible.

It was the single most terrifying sight Tetsunosuke had ever seen in his life – about on par with Hijikata's own crazed grin when he was in a furious and bloodthirsty mood.

Screeching, Tetsunosuke turned and fled the room and sprinted down the veranda, still clutching the letter. He didn't stop until a hand pushed against his shoulder and a shadow flew overhead. Saitou deftly landed in front of him, forcing Tetsunosuke to skid to a stop, sputtering and gasping for breath.

Saitou held up a notepad: Apologies, I did not mean to scare you-Z. I am still working on improving my smile-Z. His eyes shone in earnest.

Feeling silly for overreacting and losing his composure so easily, Tetsunosuke shook his head. "P-Please accept my humblest apology for running away, Captain! I promise I won't do it again." He remembered the letter and held it out, wincing at the deep creases in the envelope caused gripping it so tightly. "A letter from Vice Chief, sir!"

Saitou scribbled on a fresh page: Thank you for delivering it, Sasaki Tetsunosuke-Z. After this, he took the letter.

"You are most welcome!"

I hope we can be friends-Z.

Tetsunosuke blinked. Be friends with the captain, someone so far above him in rank and skill and privilege? And after displaying a poor impression of himself? The idea was absurd and yet Saitou stood there unmoving and waiting for an answer.

After a moment, Tetsunosuke nodded, a smile breaking out. "Yes, of course we can!" Perhaps they would share a drink during one of the nights in which the men were permitted to relax and celebrate someone's birthday or a victory over their enemies. "I would be honoured to be your friend, Captain…Saitou? Sir?"

"Zzz…" A bubble of mucus seeped down from Saitou's nose in conjunction with his snoring. Incredibly, he had managed to fall right back asleep while standing and holding his notebook.

No force on earth could probably wrench him from his dreams, and Tetsunosuke, who stared in awe, didn't want to risk disturbing the man again. Copious amounts of sleep had to be the secret to Saitou's strength and maybe even Okita's since he was also a serial napper and accomplished swordsman. The idea alone was worth a try, but Tetsunosuke doubted he could get away with it under Hijikata's rule. He stashed the idea away in his mind behind the idea of eating a mayonnaise special again.

"Rest easy, Captain." Tetsunosuke saluted in parting with a smile, and then hurried off to receive his next task from Hijikata.


"Should we really be doing this…?" Tetsunosuke glanced nervously at the closed entrance of the storage shed, expecting Hijikata to appear at any second and unleash all hellish fury on them for daring to slack off and read comics.

"Relax," said the bespectacled Goda, another solider Tetsunosuke was quickly getting to know, "Vice-Chief is out on patrol with Captain Okita, so they'll definitely be gone a long time – they always are because of the Captain's tendency to disrupt society more than criminals do." He set down his comic and stared at Tetsunosuke over the top of his glasses, smirking. "It's not we're thirteen-years-old and reading adult magazines in my room with my mom in the house. Don't be so straight-laced!"

"It's not so bad to take a break," Yamazaki added, reading a volume of Princess of Tennis up against a sliver of light in between the wood panels.

"Y-Yes, but this…" Tetsunosuke gestured with a hand to the pile of comic books in the middle of the dusty wood floor. "Vice-Chief recommends that we make use of our spare time by training more or meditating on what it means to be a samurai!"

"Like he doesn't read manga himself," Goda scoffed, blowing strands of light brown hair out of his eyes.

"Technically, we're allowed to read Magazine," Nakashima corrected, turning a page in his own issue, "but that's because Vice Chief reads it."

Tetsunosuke recalled spying a copy of Magazine in a drawer of unlocked possessions when he had straightened up and wiped down Hijikata's quarters, but thought Hijikata might've taken it by accident from one of the members. It seemed outlandish for a man of Hijikata's reputation to be reading comic books, but apparently it was true.

"My most favourite series are in Jump and it's the same for half the force, so we keep a collection hidden here, which we had to transfer from the dojo storage room." Nakashima paused and looked up with a slight frown. "Why did we have to move again?"

"Vice-Chief caught us reading," Yamazaki answered, setting down his manga and absently rubbing around his chest, as though remembering an old wound. "But he wasn't really himself that time…"

"Oh, right…" Nakashima looked at him. "Where were you, anyway? I don't remember you during the battle."

"I was unconscious and people thought I was dead…don't you remember, you all held a funeral for me?"

"I remember a funeral for the old man's dog, but not you."

"But my photo was right beside the dog!"

"Sorry." Nakashima resumed his reading. "Don't remember."

"I don't, either," Goda added without looking up.

The Princess of Tennis volume crumpled in Yamazaki's hands.

Tetsunosuke asked, "So, you buy every week's issue?"

"Otsuka-senpai brings us new Jump issues every week," Yamazaki explained with a glum expression, "He's married and doesn't live here with us, so he's free to buy Jump and store it without violating regulation."

"Ah, damn!" Goda threw his Jump issue down on the floor, gritting his teeth. "He's never gonna get to be Hokage!"

"Don't spoil it for me, you idiot!" Nakashima cried.

Still uncertain of the situation, Tetsunosuke opened his issue of Jump and thumbed through the first few pages. A couple of the featured series did seem interesting.

On one hand, Tetsunosuke didn't want to disobey Hijikata, but on the other hand, it felt great to be trusted with a secret and welcomed into their midst. Others had already invited him out to drinks and some even complimented him on how long he'd lasted eating mayonnaise rice curry – idiotic but impressive.

Before he could weigh the pros and cons of choosing to join them and read Jump in secrecy, he found himself engrossed in a chapter featuring a magical swordsman battling a vampire gunslinger for the rights to a killer notebook created by an elaborate alchemic circle—

"—skipping out on patrol to play tennis again, I bet, that slacker—" The door slid open, revealing Hijikata.

Tetsunosuke almost fainted.

The rest cried out in terrified surprise, "Vice-Chief!"

Eyes widening, Hijikata zeroed in on Yamazaki first and growled, "There you are, damn you! Think you can get away with slacking off on your duties? You were supposed to report for afternoon patrol!"

Yamazaki cowered behind his manga, sweating. "How did you find me—I mean, I was just on my way, Vice-Chief! Honest!"

"You can thank your trail of anpan wrappers for leading me to you," Hijikata barked, and then snapped his gaze to Tetsunosuke, who shrank back in fear. "Tetsu!"

"V-V-Vice-Chief, I was—"

"Don't waste my time with excuses! I'm pissed right now because I had to fill out a police report on the Shinsengumi for something Sougo did and for his damaging the news reporters' video equipment!"

"Hijikata-saaan, Hijikata-saaan," Okita drawled, coming up behind him and looking down at the trembling group of men with mild interest. "You were the one destroying their equipment. I'm not camera-shy."

Hijikata spun around and jabbed a finger at him, crunching his cigarette in half. "You shut up! It's because of YOU that our reputation has taken another downward spiral this month!"

"And threatening to jam the lenses down their throats isn't contributing to the downward spiral?" Okita shook his head, clicking his tongue while suddenly holding up Nakashima by the roots of his hair. "Hijikata-san, when will you learn that violence is not the answer?"

"C-C-Captain!" Nakashima gasped, eyes watering, hands grasping at his hair, "If you don't let go, I'm gonna go bald! Bald like Captain Harada! I'll never get a date if I'm bald! I can't pull off the bald look like him!"

"But think of the money you can save on shampoo," Okita said matter-of-factly, "I'm doing you a favour."

Tears streamed down Nakashima's face. "Captain!"

"Enough, Sougo." Hijikata loosed a cigarette free from its box and lit up. "Drop him."

Okita opened his hand.

Nakashima fell to the ground, whimpering and smoothing down his hair.

"Are you going soft, Hijikata-san?" Okita asked.

Hijikata blew smoke, holding his cigarette out with a cruel smile forming on his lips. "Not at all. I've decided that personally punishing these idiots is a good way to blow off steam instead of talking to a dumbass like you."

Several punches and reprimands later, Tetsunosuke lay sprawled out on the ground, groaning in pain along with the others. It was not wise to ignore express orders from their vice-chief.

Hijikata entered the shed and returned with an armful of manga. He dropped them to the ground and kicked some aside, tearing some pages out in the process. "Nonsensical stories. Complete garbage. They should be burned!"

Staggering to his feet and wiping blood away from his mouth, Yamazaki asked, "Uh, Vice-Chief…can I have the Princess of Tennis volume back? It's a collectors' edition and—oof!" He took a direct hit to his forehead with the manga volume and toppled backward onto the ground, dust clouding up with one quivering finger in the midst of it. "T-Thank you!"

"Every single one of you idiots will clean all the bathrooms for a month," Hijikata declared gruffly, glaring at them. "Maybe by then you'll realize how superior Magazine is. Jump will rot what's left of your brains!"

"Yes, Vice-Chief!" they chimed together.

Hijikata drew his sword and stepped toward Yamazaki, who was just sitting up at that moment. "As for you, Yamazaki – commit seppuku right now for neglecting patrol duties!"

Yamazaki flinched and scrambled to his feet again, backing away. "Annnn! Why only me?"

A man with a chonmage dashed over to the stack of ruined books and threw his hands to the sides of his head, crying, "My Jump collection!"

Hijikata turned on him in an instant, scowling and pointing the sword at him. "So these were yours, eh? You're admitting you're single-handedly responsible for the corruption of the Shinsengumi with inferior stories of undisciplined main characters that have no regard for rules and their leaders?"

"Y-Yes! I mean, no! I mean, yes, they're mine, but—noooo!" Otsuka ducked a sword swing and ran for his life with an irate vice-chief hot on his heels, yelling and cursing at him.

Groaning, Tetsunosuke sat up and gingerly touched his bleeding nose, fingertips coming away with smeared blood. A shadow fell over him and he looked up.

Okita took out a blue toothbrush from his pocket and held it out in offering. "You can borrow this for cleaning," he said, "This will help you to clean deep within the recesses of the toilets."

On the flat head of the brush, there was a tiny doodle of a company logo for the best-selling brand of mayonnaise. Tetsunosuke didn't need to make any sort of educated guess as to whose it was and didn't dare ask why or how long Okita had been carrying it around.

"Just make sure to put it back in Hijikata's room when you're done," Okita continued, shoving his hand back into his pocket. "Always return things that you borrow." Though he wore no smile, his eyes gleamed with some sort of nefarious glee that Tetsunosuke could only describe as belonging to myths and legends of monsters capable of unspeakable horror.

"Y-Yes, Captain!" Tetsunosuke replied quickly, a shiver running down his spine, deciding it was better to take the toothbrush for now in case Okita decided to dish out punishment of his own for disobedience.


So far, Tetsunosuke counted himself lucky that he hadn't encountered Okita up close and personal again since the comics and toothbrush incident. The sword prodigy was frequently busy with carrying out orders from Kondou that went above and beyond petty crime. Judging by the report logs Tetsunosuke read and archived, the First Unit saw the most action with Joui patriots and it made sense to send out a unit, whose captain was the quite possibly the best swordsman they had in the force, to hunt down their greatest foes. Due to his administrative work, Tetsunosuke rarely saw opportunities to work with or under Okita's leadership.

But that all changed one early evening when Tetsunosuke found himself in the back of a patrol car next to Okita. He had been expecting to go with the Fifth Unit, but had been unceremoniously kicked headfirst into this car.

When asked why, Okita had answered, "Hijikata said to take you with me, give you a taste of real battle."

That sounded odd, given Hijikata's warnings, but maybe he had changed his mind.

"Actually, he said to send you with Takeda, but I've got him doing something else. Not to worry, though—" Okita had turned to him with deep red eyes and the tiniest of smiles on his lips. "I'll make sure you have a worthwhile experience on the front lines."

Tetsunosuke gulped.

They were on their way to a district purported to be ripe with Joui rebel hideouts. Thanks to Yamazaki's reconnaissance, they were endeavoring to capture a particularly juicy quarry:

Katsura Koutarou.

Or, Code 21, as Tetsunosuke recalled from the list.

The Fifth Unit, which Tetsunosuke was originally appointed to for tonight's mission, would approach in patrol cars and block every possible exit. The First Unit would infiltrate on stealthier terms so as not to alert Katsura or any other allies in the area. In fact, most of them were already deployed throughout the district in civilian clothing. The remaining four, Tetsunosuke and Okita included, were officially entering the area as Shinsengumi on visibly active duty.

Tetsunosuke was here under orders from Hijikata, who told him that running errands and managing the archives was not enough. He needed experience in field operations, which usually consisted of hunting down Joui rebels, protecting government officials, and otherwise taking care of highly advanced military matters that were beyond regular police forces.

Only the higher-ups and a few select members knew about Tetsunosuke's past Joui connections and he intended to keep it that way. If anyone still doubted his loyalties, now was the time to prove otherwise and gain their confidence. Avoiding Okita was impossible, so Tetsunosuke vowed to learn from the captain instead of wasting time worrying about him.

"Captain Okita," Tetsunosuke began, breaking the silence amid the comforting hum of the vehicle, "Do you have any advice on how to win a battle?"

Okita blew out bubblegum that popped with a snap. "Not dying usually works."

"Ah, yes…that would help, I imagine," Tetsunosuke replied with a forced chuckle. "Anything else…?"

Okita glanced at him, chewing loudly. "I can't tell you everything. That's cheating."

"Cheating?"

"Yeah. Like when you go online to search for cheat codes and walk-throughs to clear a difficult level. Mario never got past Donkey Kong like that."

"Eh? Donkey Kong? Mario?" How could tracking Joui patriots be compared to old video games?

"Yeah, to save Princess Peach."

"Actually, Captain, it was Pauline," said Kamiyama, their driver and known admirer of Okita. "In the original game, she was the damsel—ahhhh!"

"Like I said, Pauline. Mario never cheated to save her and win the game, and he had no help," Okita said while jamming his scabbard into Kamiyama's neck, causing the car to swerve side to side as Kamiyama fought to maintain control of the steering wheel. "You have to be like Mario. You have to learn how to get to the top by yourself."

"Well said, Captain!" Kamiyama wheezed out, gripped the steering wheel and swerving to avoid an oncoming truck. "You are truly wise! And please do that again!"

"There's nothing more disgraceful than a cheater," Okita continued, pulling his scabbard back and setting it on his lap. "Except Hijikata – in which case, it's better to be a cheater than a Hijikata."

Tetsunosuke blinked, trying to follow this line of logic. "Uh, yes, Captain…I think I understand!"

"We're here, sir," said Eguchi, the last member of their patrol car party.

They parked in a wide alley and exited the vehicle. A soldier in civilian clothes crossed the street and met with them, reporting that a duck-like Amanto had been spotted earlier, walking into a restaurant that was hosting karaoke night for seniors. The Amanto had been walking with a cane, wearing a grey curly-haired wig and a pair of thick glasses.

"I know that duck. Katsura is definitely in there, then," Okita remarked, slipping his hands into his pockets. "Is everyone in position?"

"Yes, Captain," replied the soldier whose name Tetsunosuke couldn't remember, "We've surrounded the building. Yamazaki is inside and keeping an eye on things. Four are stationed at the back door. The Fifth Unit is on standby, in case things get a little crazy."

"Fine." Okita turned to Tetsunosuke. "Well, lead the way."

Tetsunosuke froze, wondering if he'd heard correctly. "S-Sir?"

"I don't like repeating myself."

"Sorry, Captain, but—you said 'lead the way?'" Didn't captains lead their troops first? "But I've never been in a raid before!"

"The best thing for the inexperienced is to gain experience and lots of it as soon as possible," Okita said plainly, like it was the most obvious piece of advice in the world, "Like going down the pipe and discovering a cavern full of coins. Extra points for extra effort. Remember, be a Mario."

"B-B-But—!"

"Pauline won't wait forever. Move it."

With Eguchi's expression of helpless sympathy and Kamiyama nodding vigorously in agreement, Tetsunosuke resigned himself to the inevitable. Clearing his throat, he started walking down the center of the busy street, all eyes drawn to him and the uniform he wore.

Uneasy about leading everyone into the core of the situation, Tetsunosuke mustered all the courage he could and thought about Kondou and Hijikata's past emboldening speeches. Hijikata, especially, would want him to be brave and take the initiative whenever possible.

"Be vigilant, Tetsu," Eguchi said in a low voice, "Katsura is known for disguising himself. He could be anyone in the room – man, woman, or even objects."

Tetsunosuke nodded, grateful for some solid advice for once.

"He's especially fond of wigs—oww!"

"What did I say about cheaters?" Okita said from behind them, having smacked Eguchi's head with his fist.

"My apologies, Captain!"

Tetsunosuke gulped and resumed his stride ahead. Be like Mario, Okita had said, but Tetsunosuke decided that being like Hijikata was a better fit. March upright with his chin jutting out and wear a steely expression. Let any would-be lawbreakers in the vicinity know he meant business and that no one would mess around with the assistant of Hijikata Toushirou without paying for it.

"You're too stiff. Loosen up," Okita said, "We're not a marching band."

Tetsunosuke reddened. "I'm not s-stiff!"

"Are you sure about this, Captain?" Kamiyama whispered loudly, "Entrusting him to lead the raid? Isn't he just an office lackey?"

Tetsunosuke's face fell at the last part, though he hid it from them.

"Hijikata said he needs experience and that's what he'll get. Now take a breath mint and shut up."

"Yes, Captain! Taking a breath mint right now, sir!"

Tetsunosuke was certain Hijikata didn't mean leading a raid counted as the experience he wanted for Tetsunosuke right now, because that was far too much for a greenhorn. It was reckless of Okita to go through with this when they were planning to smoke out a famous Joui rebel and admittedly one of the most dangerous. But maybe that was how the earliest members of the Shinsengumi, including the younger Okita, had learned – by plunging headlong into the deep and learning how to swim through survival instinct alone.

The Happy Quail was a restaurant suitable for large gatherings and events, allowing for in-house dining, take-out delivery, and outside catering – always busy and always crowded. Golden light from the windows spilled out into the night-darkened streets, revealing a lively atmosphere of old folks singing, drinking, eating, and laughing. There was no sign of the duck Amanto, and as for Katsura himself, he could be any one of the customers or even the wait staff.

An elderly woman stepped out from the entranceway and hobbled over to the Shinsengumi, clutching a cane in a hunched position.

"Madam," Tetsunosuke began, "Please step aside and head for safety—"

"It's me, Yamazaki."

Tetsunosuke did a double take when he recognized Yamazaki's voice and facial features beneath the make-up, the well-drawn wrinkle lines, and a grey wig with a hair bun.

Okita cut in, "Have you found Katsura?"

Yamazaki straightened up, his face grim. "Not yet, but Elizabeth went into the kitchen a few minutes ago. Before that, she was at the back, eating a beef bowl. She held up signs when one of the men started singing. That one." He pointed to an elderly man with long silver hair, sitting near the window and clapping his hands at the current singer. "I suspect that's Katsura. He was the one she held up signs for."

Tetsunosuke stared at the man before he became aware that nobody was saying anything. He looked back at Okita, who was staring at him in turn, apparently waiting. "Yes, Captain?"

"You're leading this raid. What're you going to do next?"

"Uh…we should arrest that man?"

"And what if he isn't actually Katsura?"

Tetsunosuke glanced at Yamazaki. "But Yamazaki-senpai is the Shinsengumi's top spy, so he must've ensured Katsura's identity—"

Yamazaki smiled. "Thank you—"

"Zaki's made a mistake more than once," Okita interrupted, causing Yamazaki to cringe, "Don't base your decisions on feelings. False arrests are a hassle and often result in the real culprit escaping. You don't want me to report back to Hijikata that you let Katsura escape, do you?"

"N-No!" Tetsunosuke could feel beads of sweat sliding down his forehead and even his back, finding the uniform heavier and harder to breathe in. It was almost as if he was under investigation instead of Katsura. "Then, we should…evacuate the people first? And question them?"

Okita tilted his head. "That's even more of a hassle, but, fortunately for you, that plan has already been set in motion." Behind him, more undercover officers had made their presence known, forming a semi-circle in front of the restaurant, stopping the flow of people in either direction and discouraging rubbernecked bystanders. "Our first duty is to protect the citizens, especially the elderly." Okita sighed. "It's a real pain, but Kondou-san says we have to prioritize their safety first above capturing the criminal."

Of course, Okita Sougo would prefer direct and immediate confrontation. "I understand, Captain."

Kamiyama's radio transmitter at his collar buzzed with a muffled voice. "Copy that, over," Kamiyama said and then addressed Okita, "Captain Takeda is deploying a platoon to assist the First Unit and catch any suspicious stragglers, sir. They've already apprehended a handful of Joui rebels."

"Good. Evacuate the restaurant. I'm going to go check out kitchen. Eguchi, stand guard and don't let anyone through."

"Yes, sir," Eguchi replied, drawing his sword and following after Okita.

"As expected of the Captain," Kamiyama said after Okita and Eguchi walked in, "He always covers all openings!"

"I wouldn't be surprised if he just went back to get a free meal," Yamazaki remarked dully.

"Captain Okita would never!"

Tetsunosuke followed the men inside where Okita was speaking with the headwaiter. Kamiyama's booming voice ordered all patrons to file out in an orderly manner and reassured them of police protection. Music died down and the jovial atmosphere dissipated, as worried murmurs passed through the crowd, slowly standing up and leaving. Tetsunosuke kept his eye on the long-haired man, who was helping another customer up from their seat.

"I'll join them when they pass us," Yamazaki whispered to Tetsunosuke, "You lead these people out."

"Understood!" Tetsunosuke hurried to the entrance and guided people out, directing them to officers of the First Unit, who were leading them away to the other side of the street. "Please watch your step! Remain calm! Move as quickly as you can!"

"What's going on?" asked a balding man, concern etched on his wrinkled features, arms holding a beef bowl. "Is there a fire?"

"No fire, but you'll have to hurry, sir! Follow the rest—"

"It's not sir, it's Katsura."

At that moment, a lock of black hair slipped out from what Tetsunosuke now realized was a bald cap. The man – or rather, Katsura Koutarou – cursed and tried to push his hair back underneath without letting go of the beef bowl.

"C-Code 21, Code 21!" Tetsunosuke shouted, heart racing as he drew his sword. "I've found Katsura Koutarou—" He yelped when Katsura threw the bald cap at his face, blinding him for a brief moment. When he tore it off, he saw that Katsura had taken down a few officers, still clutching his beef bowl, black hair flying free.

The duck Amanto named Elizabeth burst out from the alleyway, holding up a sword and sign: IDIOT, WHY DIDN'T YOU KEEP QUIET?

"Realism is important to playing a role!" Katsura called back, single-handedly taking on every Shinsengumi soldier that charged him. "A man at that age would be concerned about fires due to his decreased mobility!"

YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO COMPLICATE THINGS.

"Now is not the time for arguments, Elizabeth!"

A series of war cries erupted from across the street. As many as ten Joui rebels left their hiding places and engaged in battle with the Shinsengumi officers.

"Stand your ground!" Kamiyama shouted, "Protect the elders!"

"Do not harm any of the civilians!" Katsura likewise ordered to his men, "Except for the Shinsengumi dogs disguised as civilians – take them down! Send them back to their cages weeping with their tails between their legs!"

Tetsunosuke placed himself between the fighting and the evacuating seniors. "Remain calm!" he repeated, "Follow the person in front of you! You are being led to safety!"

"So, we meet again, Okita Sougo!"

Tetsunosuke glanced over to see Katsura changing his tactic and running straight back to the restaurant.

Okita emerged from the entrance, sword in hand with a maniacal grin, other arm holding a bowl of pork cutlet on rice. "Today's your death day, Katsura!"

"He really did go back there to eat!" Yamazaki cried.

"What do we do now?" Tetsunosuke asked, unable to take his eyes off the ensuing battle. Okita and Katsura exchanged blows while protecting their meals to the amazement of all.

Yamazaki clenched his teeth, also watching the battle with a lopsided wig. "We do nothing—except believe in Captain Okita."

Hijikata had warned never to trust Okita in trivial matters, but everyone in the Shinsengumi knew they could count on Okita to successfully defeat all his enemies. But even the battle between Katsura and Saitou had ended in a draw and Saitou was no slouch next to Okita. Many people considered Katsura a war hero, despite his government-branded status as a traitor and terrorist. He was a general who had survived countless battles to the present day, known as one of the Four Heavenly Kings. This fight between Katsura and Okita, already a hero among the Shinsengumi, would be one for the books.

"You think you can steal my dinner from me like you do with the people's money, government dog?"

"Who'd want your disgusting meal, terrorist?"

"Ha, ha, ha! I will have you know that this is succulent Kobe beef, the likes of which even you would give your eyeteeth for!"

"Liar. As if a lowbrow criminal like you could afford Kobe beef."

"Are they even taking this seriously?" Yamazaki yelled, "Captain Okita, drop the bowl!"

An elderly woman tripped over her kimono slip and collapsed into the street. Distracted by her scream, Katsura glanced at her.

That was all Okita needed – he thrust his sword forward, slicing Katsura's left shoulder, forcing him to drop the beef bowl.

"Fool!" Katsura cried, "You would take advantage of an old woman's misstep just to defeat me?!"

But Okita had also lunged forward himself, abandoning the pork cutlet bowl and catching Katsura's meal. Okita landed on his stomach at Katsura's feet.

Seeing his own opportunity, Katsura grinned and swung his sword downward, intending to stab Okita from above.

"Captaaaiinnnn!" Kamiyama yelled.

Whistles and sirens stopped Katsura from delivering the end blow. Shinsengumi patrol cars raced onto the scene, tires screeching to a halt as soldiers poured out, swords drawn and raised.

Kondou and Hijikata were among them, calling out orders, as they made a beeline for Katsura.

"Elizabeth, I suggest a hasty retreat now!" Katsura shouted, parrying an undercut from Okita's sword. The Joui leader leaped backward and ran toward Elizabeth, the other Joui soldiers following them. Hitching a ride on Elizabeth's back, Katsura raised his sword in farewell. "Until next time, Shinsengumi scum!"

"After them!" Kondou shouted over the chaos. "Sougo, you alright?" He ran over to Okita's side, closely flanked by Hijikata.

Tetsunosuke stepped forward, as well, awaiting further orders from Hijikata. All the elders were safely evacuated now.

"It was a bit of a challenge this time, but I finally got it," Okita replied, cradling the beef bowl in his arms as he climbed to his feet. He licked his lips. "I haven't had Kobe beef in so long."

"You dumbass!" Hijikata snapped and slapped the back of Okita's head. "You were supposed to capture Katsura, not his meal!"

Okita rubbed his head, a flicker of annoyance passing through his eyes. "That hurts, Hijikata-san. I was going to share this with you out of the goodness of my heart, but never mind."

"Like hell you were! You don't have any ounce of goodness at all! You've probably rigged it with a bomb by now!"

"Bomb…" Okita's eyes widened and he looked down at the beef bowl.

Before Tetsunosuke could blink, the bowl exploded and showered sparks, rice, beef strips, and ceramic shards over all of them.

His clothes and hair smoking, a seething Hijikata now realized Tetsunosuke was there and coughed out, "Tetsu! What did you learn from this ordeal?"

Wiping rice off his head, Tetsunosuke thought for a moment, and then answered, "That I should be a Mario, sir!"

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Mario never had help to get to the top and defeat his enemies," Tetsunosuke explained, "That's what I learned from Captain Okita! Be a Mario!"

Hijikata's temple vein throbbed. "That's completely wrong! What did I tell you about trusting Sougo?"

"I'm sorry, Vice-Chief!"

"Mario has help! Mario has Yoshi!"

"…Sir?"


Clack.

"Your 'elite training' is showing again. Trying to outwit me with fancy moves won't work."

Clack.

"Advance with your right, not your left."

Clack.

"Stop dragging your feet."

Thump.

Air whooshed out from his lungs, as Tetsunosuke smacked the ground on his stomach, shinai slipping from his grip and rolling somewhere off to the side. Panting, he pushed himself to his knees and leaned back on his haunches, wiping perspiration from his forehead with the back of his hand.

Glaring, Hijikata loomed over him, his own shinai resting on his shoulder with no signs of fatigue anywhere. Of course not. He wasn't fighting a challenging opponent.

"Did you skip out on rudimentary footwork when you were learning? Your feet are too close together, making it easy for me to throw you off-balance. Don't make me waste my time re-teaching you the damn basics. Get up."

During their practice time together, scolding was as frequent as sweating, and both were only augmented by tonight's humid air and Tetsunosuke's desire to improve quickly and possibly impress Hijikata with his progress in the last month. Since the Mimawarigumi and Joui incident, Hijikata had taken to personally training Tetsunosuke twice a week. Otherwise, he was expected to learn and practice along the rest of the Shinsengumi in order to develop a good rapport with his comrades.

Tetsunosuke knew Hijikata didn't hand out his time like money and usually worked alongside Kondou in training the men as a group, so to receive one-on-one training with him like this was an honour and an opportunity Tetsunosuke vowed to make the most of. He was painfully aware of how much he lagged behind the rest. Wearing their uniform before even reaching their average level of skill shamed him.

Reaching for his shinai and climbing to his feet, Tetsunosuke squared his shoulders and ran through proper beginning form. Mindful of his feet this time, Tetsunosuke advanced and resumed the spar with Hijikata. Shinai strikes reverberated off the dojo walls, as Tetsunosuke fought to gain the upper hand, brow furrowed deep in concentration and mounting frustration. Hijikata parried every blow, no matter where Tetsunosuke aimed, and made doing so look like child's play.

Hijikata struck him hard in his right upper arm, forcing Tetsunosuke backward, wincing and stumbling, absorbing the pain with sharp hisses between clenched teeth.

Tetsunosuke moved to attack again, faster than before, but Hijikata was faster still—he dodged the strike and pressed the end of his shinai against Tetsunosuke's jugular vein area, cold against clammy skin.

"Mind your neck or you're a dead man."

Tetsunosuke swallowed and nodded, stepping back.

"Again," Hijikata said, tone flat, shinai out in front, steady and waiting.

Tetsunosuke surged forward, yelling out as he did, blinking against beads of sweat rolling into his eyes. Exhaustion gnawed at every limb, but he was determined to improve at least one notch above his skill level tonight. He had to push away discouragement and refrain from complaints, because Hijikata tolerated neither and had lectured him more than once on endurance.

Hijikata's eyes, though cool and unrelenting, never possessed a hint of mockery unlike the Sasaki household and all other instructors Tetsunosuke had ever learned under. He knew he wasn't the ideal warrior; that Isaburou had impressed their teachers and father with ease while Tetsunosuke disappointed them.

Perseverance, not prestige, mattered most to Hijikata.

Tetsunosuke failed to deflect a blow. Hijikata backed off, as did Tetsunosuke, silently acknowledging the loss.

"Again."

Taking a deep breath, Tetsunosuke licked his lips and assumed an offensive position, but his eyes widened when Hijikata charged him. He barely had time to bring his guard up, crossing blades with his face inches away from Hijikata's weapon.

Hijikata attacked unceasingly, the force of each strike driving Tetsunosuke closer and closer toward the wall. Not a single movement was wasted with Hijikata's agility and perceptible mastery of the sword.

With each passing second, Tetsunosuke found it harder to focus on defense and easier to lose himself in Hijikata's battle-hardened gaze that served to destroy Tetsunosuke's withering confidence—and reminded him that Hijikata was in another league completely. Vowing that he would become stronger than Hijikata someday and telling him just that over a month ago suddenly seemed like a foolish dream.

The match was over in seconds.

Tetsunosuke's shinai clattered to the floor, and for a moment, the only sound in the room was his quick breaths, as he stared down the tip Hijikata's shinai, feet rooted to the floor in fear.

"Your chances of dying in battle have gone down by one percent."

Tetsunosuke fought the urge to smile to himself over Hijikata's subtle and unusual encouragement, and simply nodded. This was no laughing matter. Calculated movement or unintentional mistakes made all the difference between life and death.

"As you are right now, I would not trust you with my back in battle."

The words hung in the air like deadweight—exactly how Tetsunosuke had been feeling for the past month, none more so than this very moment. Assisting Hijikata and occasionally Kondou in matters of protocol and paperwork didn't compare to battlefield efficiency. With just a few words – depending on what they were and who they came from – his self-confidence was still easily shattered.

"I apologize, Vice-Chief…" Tetsunosuke swallowed hard with a sinking heart, adding in a meek voice, "I know I am not worthy enough to be a samurai." The Sasaki household had never withheld such an opinion that he had internalized over the course of his life. "I'm too fat, too slow, and I never completed my training back home—" He yelped when Hijikata thumped the top of his head with the shinai.

"Who the hell said all that?"

Anticipating a bump tomorrow morning, Tetsunosuke rubbed his head with one hand, wincing at the pain and at Hijikata's stormy eyes and scowl.

"I have no patience for defeatist attitudes. Get rid of that crap or commit seppuku."

"Y-Yes, sir!" Tetsunosuke dropped his arm and stationed himself into a formal, alert position as befitting a solider.

"Now you listen here." Hijikata rested his shinai on his shoulder with his other arm akimbo. "I said I wouldn't trust you with my back in battle right now. I didn't say never. You still have a lot of work to do. If I sent you to the frontlines in war tomorrow, you'd die, no question—that is, if no one reaches you in time and there won't always be someone there. My job to ensure you are ready for battle at a moment's notice and that you survive to the end of it.

"As for your low opinion of yourself, I don't give a damn. All that matters to me is that you work hard and follow my lead. Talk yourself down in front of me again and I'll give you something worthwhile to cry about, mark my words," Hijikata finished in a menacing tone, glowering at him, "Am I clear?"

Tetsunosuke nodded, shuddering. "Y-Yes—"

"Speak up!"

"Sir, yes, sir!"

"You damn idiot."

"My apologies, sir!"

"Shut up. Did you complete your swings this morning?"

"Yes, sir!"

"How many sets?"

"Three, sir!" Three sets of one thousand swings.

"Double that starting tomorrow."

"Yes, sir!"

"You're done for today. Leave me."

"Right away, sir." Tetsunosuke bowed. "Thank you very much, Vice-Chief."

Hijikata merely grunted in response.

Tetsunosuke grabbed his towel and patted his face dry on the way out of the practice room, chest still heaving from exertion. The bath was going to feel wonderful before the sweet embrace of sleep.

He chanced one final glance behind him and saw Hijikata with a towel of his own, dabbing at a sheen of sweat on his forehead. Tetsunosuke delighted in this small action, thinking that maybe he had given Hijikata a decent bout of exercise for once.

Lingering a moment longer, Tetsunosuke watched as Hijikata took up diagonal strikes, displaying proper form and solid concentration. However, having seen Hijikata on the battlefield, Tetsunosuke could easily imagine the ferocity of an untamed demon on the verge of delivering death. Even during their spar, Tetsunosuke could sense Hijikata restraining his true strength—but also, since the beginning, detected an increase in power each time they trained together. Little by little, Hijikata was strengthening Tetsunosuke by giving him a session tougher than last, honing his skill and stamina.

To think he had doubted himself and Hijikata's benevolence in the process. The latter alone shamed him more than simply wearing the uniform.

The wall would never change, but a person could.

"Forgive me, Vice-Chief," Tetsunosuke murmured, walking away from the dojo, his thoughts and vision of the future clearer than ever. "I'll work hard and I won't let you down. I promise."


Hijikata had no qualms about yelling at soldiers or threatening them with seppuku. Everyone was expected to match or aspire to reach Hijikata's high standards. To them, he was a prime example of the timeless noble samurai, striving to adhere to the Shinsengumi bushido even in ever modernizing times. He was the balance between the more callous Okita and more laidback Kondou: not as sadistically violent but not especially lenient. In spite of his common and brief attacks against Hijikata, Okita still yielded to the older man's authority when necessary. Similarly, while holding a higher position with access to greater-ranked advisors, Kondou deferred to Hijikata's judgment more often than not. For these reasons, everyone, including Tetsunosuke, fully trusted in Hijikata's ability to lead them, knowing he had the greater good in mind for the entire military force and the country itself by default.

Besides, Tetsunosuke decided, getting yelled at by somebody like that was preferable to being ignored by family.

Growing up as the illegitimate son of the Sasaki household had, Tetsunosuke was used to harsh words and glares, but none of it was for his benefit. Disgust and disdain was clear as day in their eyes; disbelief over how someone like him had Sasaki blood flowing in his veins.

Then, there was Isaburou, the legitimate heir, the firstborn son, the man all others in their family's social circle praised and respected. Unlike the rest of the family and their acquaintances, Isaburou did not openly regard Tetsunosuke with scorn. He seldom expressed anything at all. He spoke to Tetsunosuke in that same monotone voice he used with everyone else, occasionally with thinly veiled criticism bereft of any real emotional weight. Even when Tetsunosuke had unabashedly rebelled against traditional Sasaki values, favouring individual freedom and anything that didn't count as an elite trait, Isaburou still didn't react in anger, didn't seek to lecture him or guide him in a better direction.

In Isaburou's eyes, Tetsunosuke could feel that he amounted to nothing more than a piece of lint one brushed off one's clothing, sparing no further thought it as something significant. Truthfully, that hurt more than anything their family – Isaburou's family, really – could do or say to Tetsunosuke, and he didn't know why it did, why it should matter more when Isaburou had used him and had been prepared to eliminate him to keep the Sasaki name blemish-free.

As a result, Hijikata's deafening voice barking at him to practice harder or buy more mayonnaise didn't bother Tetsunosuke in the least because Hijikata saw his every weakness and still acknowledged him. True to his demon nickname and reputation, Hijikata pushed and pushed, refusing to give up on Tetsunosuke, demanding he give his all until there was nothing left. Under his command, there was no room for self-pity and laziness. Every word Hijikata preached, every action he took, was for Kondou Isao's sake and the betterment of the Shinsengumi—all so that they and the citizens of Edo might live to see another day.

Compared to the Sasaki and Mimawarigumi's elite, pristine banners, Tetsunosuke preferred and willingly served under the tattered, stained banner that the Shinsengumi proudly waved in the face of adversity.