Even True Alphas Break
Scott is an alpha through and through. He's loyal, protective, kind-hearted and overall an amazing person. He burdens himself with everyone else's problems. He takes blame for things out of his control.
Allison's mom dying.
Him and Allison breaking up.
Jackson getting turned into a Kanima.
Scaring his mom.
Hurting Stiles.
Boyd and Erica.
Losing all the parents.
Releasing the Nogitsune.
Adrien dying.
Allison dying.
Malia hating being human.
Derek disappearing.
The Dread Doctors.
Biting Liam.
Hayden Dying.
He died.
Being weak.
So many people died. He couldn't save anyone no matter how hard he tries. And it weighed down on his shoulders like burdens. He was carrying his cross just to be put to death at the end of the road. People wanted him dead for just being a werewolf. He can't control what he is. Only what he does. And sometimes trying isn't enough anymore. Sometimes he wants to just run away, like Isaac and Jackson did. But he can't leave his mom or Stiles behind. It was his burden.
"But what if I don't want the burden?" Scott mumbled to himself. He acted strong everyday, all day, ever since he first got bit. For once he wanted to be comforted. He wants someone telling him it's going to be ok even when it's not. But Scott was an Alpha. He had to be strong for everyone else. Even when he was breaking inside…
XXX
They were all gathered together. Pack. Family. Just sitting around, in silence. Malia was next to Stiles, those two still haven't forgiven him. Liam sat on the opposite side, he still gave Scott the cold shoulder because of Hayden. Lydia was sitting alone, staring at her hands. Mason was the only one sitting next to Scott. He was the only one who comforted Scott. But it wasn't enough. Kira was gone and Scott felt utterly alone. A dark realization hit him.
He wanted Allison.
Allison who never turned away from him.
Allison who held Scott when it got to much.
Allison who loves Scott till the very end of her life.
Scott barely noticed the tears in his eyes. Mason did though. It scared him quite honestly. Scott never cried in front of him. Or any of them. Not even Stiles. Only his mom and Scott only let himself cry for 20 minutes before he left to comfort his friends. But Scotts façade was breaking. Scott needed his anchor. His pack was his anchor and it was so broken.
Isaac and Jackson were somewhere in the UK, probably enjoying life without him. And Chris was probably happy to be away from him, the murderer of his daughter. He didn't even know where Derek was. Allison was probably happy to be away from a screw up like him. The thought nearly made Scott son. He didn't notice the tears trail down his cheeks as he remembered how many lives he ruined.
Stiles.
Liam.
Malia.
Mason.
All of them.
He messed up so much. He makes a mess out of everything. Scotts claws came out and dug into his opposite forearms. The scent of blood hit the other wolves and coyote noses and they stared, slightly shocked at Scott. He hurt so many people.
Mom.
Dad.
Sheriff.
Parish.
A chocked sob escaped the Alpha. When Scott finally realized he was crying, a scoff escaped him. How much weaker could he get? Alpha's don't cry, they deal with it and carry the pain of the other members of the pack. How could he be so selfish? Scott went to wipe his eyes only to yelp in pain as his claws freed his arms from their vice grip. When had that happened? Scott wiped his eyes, ignoring the small smear of blood that appeared over his cheekbones. Everyone was staring at him but Scott ignored them in favor of staring at his clenched fists.
Allison. Allison. So sorry. I'm so sorry Allison. Allison. I love you. I'm so sorry. Come back. Don't leave me here all alone. Allison.
Another sob left him. Scott gritted his teeth, a growl of frustration escaping him. Why couldn't he stop crying? Why did it feel so damn good to finally let everything out? Why did it hurt to hold it in? Why…Why couldn't he stop? Why-
Scores thought process came to a stop as two lanky arms wrapped around his waist and a head nuzzled against his shoulder. Scotts head jerked up, eyes rimmed red with tears and shock.
"It's ok," the voice whispered, rubbing his arm.
Mason.
Scott nearly leaned into Mason, relief pooling in his belly. Someone was comforting him. Someone was caring about him. Someone was letting him break. But instead he tensed. On one side he was disappointed it was Mason and not Stiles. His best friend. His brother. But on the other hand, he was so grateful because if Stiles was holding him, he knew he wouldn't be able to handle it.
"I'm fine," Scott whispered, body starting to shake. He couldn't do this. He couldn't be strong. He hates how weak he felt.
"Scott-"
"I'm fine!" His breath was heavy and he was getting dizzy from holding everything in. Hesitant footsteps made their way towards them.
"Scott,"
Stiles.
The heavy, familiar weight of Stiles' hand on his shoulder broke the dam. The tears fell rapidly and a heaving sob escaped the broken boy. Everything came crashing down. All the pain through the years. All the killing. All the people he couldn't save. Allison. His mind was being overrun by Allison.
"Allison,"
Stiles' hand tensed on his shoulder. He could hear Lydia's erratic heartbeat. How at the mention of her name it sped and he could smell the pain. He hurt them again.
"Who's Allison?"
Liam.
Scott let out a heartbreaking cry and suddenly his face was buried in someone's neck. Stiles ran his fingers through Scotts hair while Malia let the crying boy sob on her. He scented her and rubbed his nose on the junction of her neck, trying to find comfort in her.
Liam watched with wide eyes. His Alpha was hurting. He was suffering. What kind of beta let's his alpha suffer?
He didn't save her.
The voice reminded him. He didn't save Hayden.
How are you all still alive?
Not all of us are…
But a lot of people are gone. Obviously they were people he cared about. And he was hurting.
"Hayden," Scott cried. Liam tensed, staring at him. "Allison…Hayden…,"
"Allison was Scotts first love," Lydia explained softly, tears slowly dripping down her cheeks. "Scott did all he could but he couldn't save her,"
Not all of us are…
"She was killed in front of him and died in his arms,"
Not all of us are…
"I'm sorry! Allison-sorry! So sorry!" Scott was letting everything out. He was so tired. So done and wanted to see her again. So badly.
"Scott, it wasn't your fault," Stiles whispered. He was worried. Scott never did this. It was scary to watch a person so strong fall apart so hard.
"Hayden!"
"Hayden wasn't your fault either!" Stiles glared at Liam and Liam deflated. It wasn't his fault. It never was. Liam kneeled next to Scott and wrapped his arms around the slim waist, opposite of Mason.
"It wasn't your fault. I'm sorry Scott. I'm sorry,"
Scott felt himself slowly calm down. That's what he needed to hear.
It's not your fault.
It's not your fault.
"You know Derek wasn't your fault," her eyes were like the arrows she shoots. Gleaming with tears. She loves him then. He loved her too.
"That's because it doesn't hurt…I'm in the arms of the first person I ever loved. The person I'll always love. I-I love you S-Scott McCall,"
"Allison…I love you Allison," his breathing slowed and his sobs turned to sniffles. It hurt so bad. But the feeling of the pack around him, it didn't hurt as much.
A/N: OMG SCOTT :'( Sorry but I had to write this.
