Title: Time Out
Author: Romantique
Email:
Classification: Eric/Tami Angst
Rating: T
Summary: SEASON 4 SPOILERS. Features Julie. Written before Matt Saracen's departure from the show. This fan fiction deals with the aftermath.
Author's Note: SPOILERS: Matt's departing from the series. I don't know how it will play out, but the aftermath could be the same. This fan fiction was written before Season 4 Episode 3 aired.
Disclaimer: SPOILERS: Friday Night Lights fan fiction occurs at the beginning of Season 4.
Legal: These characters do not belong to me. I'm just a fan and have not made a dime. Please email me to obtain permission to post.
time out:
a break in action requested by either team or one of the officials.
The Taylor Home …
Coach Eric Taylor and his wife, Tami, quietly sat next to one another on the sofa in their dimly lit living room.
After a time, Tami finally broke the long-held silence. "I'm going to go ... and check on her," she said in a low tone, as she reached over and placed a comforting hand on her husband's knee.
Grabbing her hand into his and giving it a loving squeeze, Eric cleared his throat and took the lead. "I'll go."
He stood up, took in a deep breath, and began the long walk down the hallway.
"Julie?" Eric rapped on his older daughter's closed bedroom door. "Can I come in?"
His eldest had been secluded in her room for hours.
"Um, yeah," Julie Taylor answered from the other side of the door. She jumped up from the center of her bed, quickly gathering the spattering of tear-soaked tissues that were strewn across to top of her bed. "Just a second."
After a beat, she gave her father permission to enter.
Eric slowly opened the door and took a good look into his daughter's face. The sight of her sad, red eyes swollen from crying made his heart feel as if it had suddenly been pierced by a knife. He took in another deep breath.
"Hey. How are you doin'?' he asked softly, as he walked into the room, closer to her bed. "I mean, that's a stupid question," he stumbled upon his words. "I know you're not doin' okay."
After an awkward silence, he added, "Is there anything I can do for you? Bring you some ice cream, a change of scenery?" Looking at her sideways, he added "… a beer?" Clearly kidding about the beer, Eric was unsuccessful in getting a smile out of his girl, something he could usually do so easily. "You name it."
Although she couldn't manage to muster a smile, Julie loved her father for trying. "I can't think of anything at the moment, but thank you." She sniffled into another Kleenex.
Eric took a seat next to her on the edge of the bed. He took in another deep breath, and then let out a deep exhale. "It's been awhile since you've needed one of your Daddy's hugs." He looked down and clasped his hands in his lap in front of him. "I know it's not the same as, nor does it make up for, a hug from Matt, but I'm here. And there's no expiration date on my hugs."
Julie looked up at her father. He understood. For all the times they couldn't see eye to eye on her growing up, this time, he truly understood. The love and concern in his voice broke down the temporary resolve she mustered in order to allow him to come into her room, but that resolve suddenly caved. Tears poured from her eyes, "Daddy, I could use a hug, now."
Eric immediately turned towards Julie, opening his arms. "C'mere," he said, and he wrapped up his petite daughter into his strong arms, hugging her tight. She buried her face into his broad shoulder, as he cradled her head. Now safe, she began to sob.
It had been a very long time since Julie's Dad had given her a real hug, and she knew that had been her fault and not his. His comforting, strong warmth and the smell of his aftershave were so familiar to her. She had missed her Dad, her first love.
Stroking her long hair, he eventually began to rub her back with one hand in a circular motion. "I've got you," he whispered, slowly rocking her as he did when she was a little girl. "Just let it go."
And she did. She sobbed and sobbed so hard, as her father continued to rock and silently console her.
After a time, Tami pensively walked into Julie's room carrying a fragrant cup of hot chamomile tea which she placed on the nightstand near the bed.
Eric closed his eyes, continuing to hold his daughter very firmly, continuing to rock her. "That's it."
"It hurts," Julie's cry was muffled into his shoulder.
"I know," he whispered.
"But why does it have to hurt so much?" she asked in between sobs.
Silently witnessing this scene, Tami's heart was breaking. She put her hand up next to her mouth, as her own eyes began to rim with tears.
After a moment, Eric answered, "Because you love him. It wouldn't hurt at all if you didn't."
With her face still buried in her father's hug, in a voice of resignation, Julie asked, "What am I supposed to do? I don't know what I'm supposed to do?"
"Well … You're gonna get through the night," Eric began. "And you're gonna take care of yourself."
"And until you figure things out and what you need, you're gonna let me and your Dad take care of you," Tami added, taking a seat on the other side of their daughter. Gently, she began to stroke her hair, too.
Tami and Eric silently locked eyes, their mutual concern and resolve conveyed. Together, they would help Julie get through this … somehow.
"I could draw you a hot bath?" Tami suggested in a very soothing voice, still stroking her daughter's hair. "A long soak in the tub might feel nice ... help you to relax so you can sleep tonight."
Eric leaned down close to his daughter's ears. Softly, he asked, "Do you want your Momma to draw you a bath?"
With her face still buried in her father's shoulder, Julie nodded her head yes. Eric looked up at his wife and silently repeated the nod, as he continued to rock and console his girl.
"I'll get that going," Tami responded, giving another loving stroke to her daughter's long blonde tresses, and left for the bathroom.
Suddenly, Julie offered, "Dad, I don't know if I want to be without Matt. I mean, he broke up with me. It's not like I had anything to say about it."
Eric had no details of his daughter's break up until now. "Matt's been through an awful lot," he spoke without interrupting the rocking motion he had established which seemed to provide her some comfort. "He may not know what he needs or wants right now," Eric continued. "Give him some time. Give yourself time. Then, get your thoughts and feelin's real clear … let him know how you feel. Not in a hurt or angry way." There was a bit of a silence. "I don't know if that would make a difference between you two, but that's what I'd do."
"Did you and Mom ever break up?" Julie asked, intently listening for an answer, her breathing beginning to return to normal.
"Yeah, once," Eric answered and nodded, as he reminisced of things he hadn't thought of in many years. "It was the summer I went away to football camp. Mo was around at that time." His rocking slowed a bit. Memories came flooding back to him. "Gosh, that was the longest summer of my life." His eyes looked somewhere across the room, and he became wistful. "I thought it was over between us. I couldn't eat, couldn't concentrate on anything. I lost a lot of weight ... almost got kicked off the team because of that. That's when I learned the hard way about how important it is to take care of yourself. I did not. I let myself get run down and then, I got real sick with mono."
Not wanting to intrude on the intimacy of their conversation, Tami stood right outside the door and couldn't help but listen.
"I never let your Momma know I was hurtin'," he surprised himself by sharing that part.
"Did you break up with Mom, or did she break up with you?" Julie was genuinely interested and temporarily distracted from her own pain. She loved hearing from the male perspective, a perspective she didn't understand.
"I broke up with her," Eric answered, "because I thought it would be best for us, at the time. Clearly, I was wrong." Holding her head closer to him, he said, "We men are often wrong." He continued, "We needed time apart to figure out what we really wanted … you know, like a time out. Like you and Matt, we were young. Anyway, after awhile, your Momma began to write me letters, beautiful letters. And I answered them, every single one of them. We could say things in those letters that we couldn't say in front of one another. And in the written word, we were kinder and more thoughtful."
"I've heard Mom talk about your letters," Julie nodded. "She says she still has them."
Then, Eric leaned down and pulled his daughter's face up so that he could see her eyes. "I'm not sayin' you and Matt are like your Momma and me. You're not. I'm just sayin' you and Matt have time ... to figure things out. You have lots of time."
Feeling a little more pulled together, Julie gave her dad a hard squeeze and said, "Thank you, Daddy." His words had helped her more than he would ever know.
"You're welcome," he returned the squeeze and kissed the top of her head.
Tami took this as her cue and entered the room. "Okay, Sweetie, here are fresh towels and your clean robe. Your bath is all ready and smelling very pretty. I thought some aroma therapy couldn't hurt."
"Thanks," Julie said Tami, and she stood up as her Mom ushered her down the hall and into the fragrant, candle lit bathroom.
Some time later…
Eric and Tami lay in bed next to one another.
"That hot totty after the bath really did the trick, Honey," Tami said, snuggling in close to her husband. "She finally drifted off to sleep. It's a good thing you had some Scotch in the house."
"I don't condone the use of alcohol with minors, but in a case like this," he mumbled.
"I think it was appropriate under the circumstances. It's what they did back in the old times," she gave Eric a squeeze around his waist. "Hon, you were really good with her tonight. I was in awe of you," Tami added.
Eric turned towards his wife, taking her into his arms. "I didn't know if I could help her or not. I only knew I wanted to try. You know, Matt is a Texas State Champion and like me and our family, he'll always be a part of the Dillon football family. He's gonna be in our lives in some fashion, whether he and Julie are together or not. I'd like to see they have an opportunity to at least remain friends."
"That's true," Tami reflected in her husband's arms. "They'll always have some kind of a relationship. Julie's self esteem will be very tied to how she views her first, serious love. And you were right ... they have plenty of time to determine what that relationship will be. As you and I know, it's very hard to fall in love so hard, so young." After a moment, she asked, "Hon?"
"Hmmm," he mumbled with his eyes closed.
"I didn't mean to eavesdrop on your conversation with Julie, but I couldn't help but hear. I've always known how devastated I was when you broke up with me that summer, but I never knew you were hurting, too. Were you really?"
"Sure I was," Eric answered, bringing his free arm up to rub his furrowed brow. "I learned somethin' that summer about myself that I know to this very day: I don't do well without my better half." And he turned to kiss the top of his wife's head.
"Did you really stop eating and became ill, all because of what happened to us?" she asked more questions.
Eric nuzzled in close. "I didn't want you to know. I couldn't eat, couldn't sleep. Hell, I couldn't think straight. All I could think about was how much I missed you, needed you. But I could never admit that to you, first. As I told Jules, we men are often just wrong, even when it's to our detriment."
"I never knew," Tami stroked the side of her husband's stubbly face. Then, she kissed him. "Are you okay that I know now?"
Eric looked up, trying to answer the question. "It occurred to me that maybe we had to go through all that so many years ago so we could help our daughter tonight. Does that make any sense?"
Tami hugged her husband, kissing his chest in the area of his heart. "Yeah, it does, Hon. It sure does." She felt herself falling in love with Eric Taylor all over, again.
fin-
