Title: Heat
Summary: Nick and Greg hit a wall in their relationship. Incorporates the events of A Kiss Before Frying, starts sometime before the episode. One shot.
Pairing: Nick/Greg
Rating: NC-17
Spoilers: A Kiss Before Frying
Notes: Thanks to gater101 for her help.
Disclaimer: CSI is not mine :( booooo
Heat. Could heat be classed as a weapon? Greg was pretty sure it was, because when Nick's tongue thrust into his mouth the heat went straight to his brain and fried it of all logical thought.
Nick's fingers traced a fire up his sides to rest around his face, cupping his cheeks. His tongue danced in and out of Greg's mouth. Greg let Nick lead the Waltz, happy to respond to Nick's nips and dips. He was pretty sure it was a Waltz. The Waltz seemed like Nick's dance; controlled, steady, yet beautiful and poetic. Greg's would be the American Smooth, the Quickstep version. Not that Greg could think about it much, his brain currently being mush and all.
Greg moaned with displeasure when Nick's tongue left his mouth, he resisted reaching for Nick's head and pulling him back down. His displeasure was forgotten when Nick's tongue left a trail of intensity against his neck, and his lips peppered feather light kisses along Greg's jaw.
"Morning." Greg wheezed as he arched his neck into Nick's touch.
"Greg, it's 2:30 in the afternoon." Nick said between kisses.
"I know," Greg paused to let a moan reside in his throat. "But waking up with you makes it feel like a sunny morning brightening up my day."
Greg felt Nick's laugh resonate against skin.
"I thought I was the sappy, romantic one?"
Nick had stopped his attack of Greg's body with his lips, and looked into Greg's eyes with a teasing sparkle.
"Oh, you are, definitely."
A knock at the door halted Greg's plans to light those eyes up with a passionate fire.
"Ignore it?" Greg did not plead; he would not plead to keep his boyfriend in their warm bed. Ok, so there was a slight influx in his voice, he'd never been good at controlling his emotions; especially when his brain had been turned to mush, remember?
Greg was delighted when Nick didn't need much persuading; Nick's lips found his mouth again and Greg almost squealed with joy when Nick sucked lightly on his tongue.
The knock came again. Nick rested his forehead on Greg's, panting as they breathed in the same air. "They're persistent, it must be important."
Greg groaned, knowing the fight was lost and Nick would leave him, alone and cold in their bed.
Nick pushed himself up and off the bed. Closing the door behind him.
Greg pulled the covers up and snuggled down into the pillow.
He was just getting into a fantasy in which Nick hadn't left when, Nick, real Nick, came bursting back into the room and pushed Greg out of the bed.
"What the hell?" Greg stumbled to his feet. Nick looked panic stricken.
"My parents are here. You have to go. Now!"
Nick thrust Greg's boxers at him, which Greg fumbled onto his hips.
"You're throwing me out? This is my house too!" Greg fumed. This was ridiculous, they'd been living together for nearly two years and Nick was still ashamed of him.
"You don't understand." Nick said through clenched teeth.
"Of course I don't understand! Nick…"
Nick put a hand over Greg's mouth to shut him up. "Keep your voice down."
Greg would not cry, he was too damn angry to cry.
Greg grabbed Nick's wrist and pushed his hand away. "Fine."
He grabbed his keys off the side table and climbed out the window as gracefully as one could when getting thrown out of their own home by their loving boyfriend.
Greg was thankful that they lived on the first floor, and that he had a pair of pants and a shirt in his car. He would have looked great turning up for work in just his boxers.
He stumbled, tripping over his own feet. He shivered despite the warm afternoon sun, and hugged his arms around his middle. He crept around the side of the building and looked out for passers by as he snuck into the parking lot.
He reached his car and quickly got his extra clothes on. Shoes, he still needed shoes.
He sat in the drivers seat, hands on the wheel and let a tear slide down his face. The anger was gone, the heat, the passion, was all gone. All that was left was shame.
…
Greg drove to Sara's. Really, where else was he supposed to go, he had no shoes?
He knocked and Sara opened the door.
"Hey Sara." He said with a small smile. "Gris isn't here is he?"
"No, he's on a project."
"Good," Greg said as Sara stepped aside and let him in. "Not that I wouldn't want to see him, of course, always good to see Gris, you know that, just not like this, he already…"
"Greg," Sara interrupted, "you're rambling… and you're not wearing any shoes."
She pointed at his feet. Greg rolled his eyes; he didn't need reminding where his shoes should go.
"Yeah, that's kinda what I'm here about. I need to borrow some of Gris', just until I get to work, I have a pair in my locker."
"Sure." Sara said flatly, she went into another room and came out holding a pair of smart black shoes.
She held them out to Greg but pulled them back when he reached towards them. "Why don't you have shoes, and why can't you get a pair from your own home."
"She threw me out." Greg said without looking her in the eyes, he didn't want her to see the hurt there.
"Your girlfriend?" Sara asked slowly.
Greg knew she didn't believe he had one, which… well he didn't, but not for the reasons she thought.
Greg nodded, still looking anywhere but Sara.
"She really hurt you, didn't she?" Sara asked genuinely.
Damn, he should have known she'd see right through him.
He nodded again.
"What happened?" She pressed.
"Nothing really, just an argument, same old, same old. Should have seen it coming really, well I did see it, just chose to ignore it. Like normal it came to bite me on the ass…"
"Greg, I'm hearing a lot of words, that are telling me nothing about what actually happened." Sara pointed out.
Right, trained investor he was talking to; should be used to that by now.
"Like I said, just a fight. Nick gave me no…"
"Nick?" Sara interrupted.
Shit, think quickly.
"Um, yeah, I told you her name was Nicole didn't I?" Greg rubbed the back of his neck hoping she wouldn't notice his face reddening.
"No."
"See, that's what the fight was about. She doesn't want to meet any of you, doesn't want our friends to be part of our life as a couple. It's ridiculous really, we're not living as whole people."
"So… it's over?" Sara asked, she'd managed to manoeuvre him to the couch without him even realising.
Over? With Nick?
"Yeah." Greg said resolutely. He couldn't face Nick in their house again, he couldn't even think about it without his heart breaking with shame. "There's no way back from this."
"Where are you going to go?" Sara squeezed his arm in comfort.
"I don't know, I haven't really thought this through." Greg frowned, what was he going to do? He hadn't even realised what this had meant for his relationship, let alone come up with any plans.
"You want to stay here? Gris' away for a few weeks, and I have a spare room?"
Greg looked her in the eyes for the first time. He nodded. "You sure?"
"Wouldn't have offered otherwise. Come on." She grabbed his hand. "We'll go to the shops and get some food and toiletries before work."
Greg let her guide him out of her house. After putting shoes on.
….
Nick parked up his car and walked into the lab.
He said hi to Judy, hoping he'd disguised how anxious he was. From the moment Greg had left he'd been desperate to apologise. He was sure his parents had picked up on his awkward body language, and that only pushed his nerves closer to the edge.
He couldn't risk them finding out and ruining the life he'd built for himself. He was happy the way things were, more than happy; he loved Greg more than he'd ever thought possible, and their lives fit together like it was always designed that way. He didn't need his parents learning their son was not who they thought he was, he couldn't do that to them. He couldn't bare to think of how they would look at him different or how Greg would react knowing they didn't approve of him. Too much hurt would be caused all round.
Greg would understand, he was sure of it. If Greg thought this through Nick knew he would come to the same conclusion. He just hated having emotions up in the air, and tension unresolved.
Once he saw Greg everything would be all right. Telling himself that was the only thing that helped him get through the lab looking sane.
Nick walked into the break room and almost bumped into Catherine on her way out.
"Get your gear Nick, we've got a body on the strip." She informed him.
"Where's Greg?" He asked, far too quickly. "And Sara, and Ray?"
"Greg and Sara are already on their way to a scene, Ray will meet us there." Catherine told him as they walked swiftly down the corridor.
Great, just what he needed, longer to wait to see Greg and leave this hanging over him.
At the scene he did his best to focus on the case, the body was a tourist who'd gotten lost. It looked like an accident, but they weren't ruling anything out yet.
"Nicky, are you going to answer me sometime today?" Catherine shouted from a few meters away.
"What? Sorry." He cringed at his apology.
"You alright? You've been spacing out on me since we got here?"
"I have?" He thought he'd been doing a good job of focusing, he guessed thinking of Greg was so ingrained in his mind that he didn't even notice he was doing it half the time.
"Yeah." Catherine nodded, Nick couldn't decide if she was annoyed at him, or concerned.
"I'm here, I'm focusing. See…" He pointed to the vic's hand, "she's missing half a fake nail…" he took a closer look, "no, those are real."
"Good spot, Nicky."
Nick was pretty sure he managed to focus from then on, or at least do a better job of appearing focused.
Nick's heart was pounding against his ribs as he walked back into the lab. It felt like he'd had to wait forever to see Greg.
He rushed down the hallway, looking into the labs as he went. No sign of Greg or Sara, not even in the break room, until he reached the garage. Greg was stood, inspecting the roof with his flashlight, while Sara moved around inside the large vehicle.
"Greg?" Nick called from the doorway. Greg didn't even look.
"What Nick?" Greg answered unwaveringly.
"I need a word."
"We're busy." Nick felt like Greg was dismissing him, he'd barely acknowledged Nick's presence.
"I know, but this is important." Nick insisted.
Greg looked up, and Nick's breath caught in his throat at the anger he saw.
"More important than finding the murderer of a twelve year old and her parents?"
Nick couldn't answer that, so he didn't.
"Thought so." Greg said. He leant under the car to talk to Sara.
Nick left; he could tell he wasn't welcome.
…
At the end of his shift Nick looked around for Greg. He wanted to talk before they got home; there was a barrier in his mind, as though if he left this until they were home it would take a hold on their lives.
Sara was sat in the break room.
"Hey Sara, where's Greg?" He asked as casually as he could.
"Gone home already, he needed to pick up some stuff." She looked up from her coffee cup.
"What? What stuff?" What would Greg need to pick up from their home?
He didn't wait for her to answer, he ran down the hall and out to the parking lot.
He drove home as quickly as the speed limits would allow.
Nick could hear movement in the house as he opened the door. He walked into the living room to see Greg removing his CD's and DVD's from the shelf.
Greg didn't even flinch when Nick entered.
"Greg! What are you doing?" Nick asked, rushing to Greg's side to hold his hands still.
"What does it look like?" Greg seethed; he yanked his arms out of Nick's hold.
Greg put the disks in a bag resting behind him, already containing his clothes.
"It looks like you're taking all your stuff." Nick said dumbly, he was too stunned to produce anything more intellectual.
"Yep." Greg shoved more DVDs in the bag before moving to the kitchen.
"Why?"
"It's over Nick."
"What?" Nick finally comprehended what was going on, what this meant for him, for him and Greg. He grabbed Greg by the shoulders and turned him so they were face to face. "Why? You can't do this. I love you."
"Do you have any idea how humiliating that was? You threw me out of my own home! In my boxers!" Greg wriggled out of Nick's grip.
"I can't live being your dirty, little secret." Greg spat out.
Nick didn't know what to say; he'd never seen Greg this angry, this resolute.
Greg continued to put things in his bag, handling his bag of Blue Hawaiian with as little care as Nick had ever seen him.
"Please, don't." Nick was not beneath begging. "I love you." He said in a quiet voice.
This got Greg to stop.
Greg put his hand on Nick's chest and brushed his lips to Nick's. "I know you do." He whispered.
Greg picked up his bag and left, the door slamming shut behind him.
Nick slid to his knees, watching the door as if Greg would reappear any second.
He shivered, but not through cold, he'd never felt this numb. His life had just walked out that door, and taken his heart with it.
….
Greg drove to Sara's in silence, for the first time since he'd bought his car he didn't have the radio on. He couldn't face the noise, the intrusion into his headspace. Any enjoyment he got from the music would only remind him of happier times, times with Nick.
He pulled up in front of Sara's house, grabbed his bags and walked to the door.
Sara was waiting for him and showed him to his room.
"How did it go at home?" She asked.
"Perfect." Greg said through gritted teeth.
He couldn't say anymore, he was afraid he'd spill his guts, and, as pissed off as he was at Nick, he couldn't break his confidence. Not when it had already broken them.
Sara took the hint and backed off. "I'll be in the lounge if you need anything."
Greg focused on unpacking his stuff, his jaw set and nerves still on edge. He couldn't remember a time when he'd been this angry, or for this long. Usually he wasn't one to hold grudges, he got over things quickly. Whenever a conflict arose he tended to assume it was his fault, and he'd be the one to break the ice and apologise. This time, there was no other way to look at it. He couldn't believe Nick thought so little of him, of them. It made him feel like the smallest, most insignificant person on Earth, to the person he should be most significant to. Greg huffed to himself as he realised he was definitely not Nick's significant other. Not even worthy of acknowledgment.
Greg had finished unpacking without even realising it. He made his way to the lounge and sat next to Sara on the sofa. She unfolded her legs and put a hand on his back.
That was all it took. A tear fell down his cheek, followed by another and another.
Sara pulled him into a hug, rubbing his back affectionately. He was not sobbing, he'd never admit he was sobbing.
"I can't believe it's over." He said more to himself than Sara.
…
The next few days at work, and at Sara's, were painful. Every time he saw Nick he had to fight his conscience from going straight to him and wrapping him in his arms until the pain in Nick's eyes went away. It wouldn't help his own pain go away, and it wouldn't change their situation.
He'd been right when he'd told Sara there was no going back, whether it was just his wounded pride he wasn't sure, but pride had never been a priority to him.
Nick had walked out of the break room when Catherine had asked Greg how things were going with his girlfriend. He told her the truth, substituting some imaginary girl who could never match up to Nick.
She said his girlfriend was an idiot for treating him that way, and he was better off without her. Greg wanted to scream at her that he knew she was right, and pull his hair out with despair that he didn't want her to be right. He'd gotten used to hiding his feelings when it came to Nick, though.
He was getting used to living with Sara, she knew the right times to comfort him and to tell him to snap out of it. They were getting into a comfortable routine.
It wasn't until he went to bed at night, and the cold seeped into his skin, missing Nick's touch, that he let his mind remember what he had lost.
On the forth day, Nick was waiting for him by his car at the end of their shift.
Greg stopped in front of him, waiting for him to explain what he wanted.
"Greg, we have to talk about this?" Greg could hear the pleading in his voice, and he almost snapped, almost gave in. Until he felt the touch of Nick's fingers on his hand and all it reminded him of was a hand over his mouth so he wouldn't draw unwanted attention. Unwanted attention of an unwanted boyfriend.
"No, we don't." Greg didn't back away from Nick's touch; he needed it to ground him. "If we talk about this I don't think I'll be able to stay friends with you. And I need to stay friends, we have to work together. One day I want to see you happy again, but that's not with me."
Greg walked away, without looking back.
…
As the weeks passed things got easier. The ache in his chest was still there, but he could hold a comfortable conversation with Nick and feel like they were friends again.
They'd worked cases together, just the two of them. They were still a good team, they knew enough about what the world dealt out to put their personal issues aside for the sake of a case. Neither of them would be able to live with themselves if they'd been the reason a murderer was still on the streets.
Greg and Sara were sat in the break room looking through the papers at apartments.
"This one sounds good." Sara pointed to a listing on the paper. "Decent size and not too far from work."
Greg frowned, "Not sure I can afford it, it's been a while since I've had to pay the whole rent by myself."
Of course that was the perfect time for Nick to walk in. Greg was proud of himself that he didn't cringe.
"You looking for a new place?" Nick asked as he poured himself a cup of coffee.
"Yeah." Greg said simply, there was no point in hiding it from Nick. "I can't keep cramping Sara's style."
"You sure it's not just because Gris is back next week?"
Greg laughed, Nick was right, that was part of the reason. "Nah, Gris loves me cramping his style."
Greg smiled at Nick, making eye contact for the first time in what felt like weeks, without wanting to run away. It helped that Nick was smiling back.
"You going to look at it?" Sara asked.
Greg tore his eyes away. "Yeah, can't do any harm."
….
Nick drove as he and Greg went to the Tangiers for an attempted robbery that had ended with one robber and one guard needing medical treatment. The other two robbers had gotten away after threatening to take two elderly ladies as hostages.
Nick sucked in a breath, building up the courage to say what he wanted to. "Do you want any help moving in?"
Greg looked at him questioningly, "No, Sara's helping, I haven't got much to move anyway, no furniture or anything." Greg had slowed his speech when he realised what he was saying. "Sorry, that wasn't meant as a jibe."
"No, that's ok, if you do want anything from our apartment, you can have it, it's part yours anyway." Nick still couldn't stop himself from referring to it as their apartment; it would always be that to him, even without Greg there.
"I'm going to buy some new stuff, Catherine wants to take me shopping." Nick laughed at the exaggerate fear on Greg's face.
"Well if you do need anything, or just a hand, give me a call."
"Thanks," Greg said, "will do."
After coming to terms, and learning to live with his own pain, Nick had come to the conclusion that being in a relationship with him didn't make Greg happy. Nick could accept that, and he would do everything he could to see Greg happy, even if that meant helping him move further away from their life together.
Greg was the most important thing to him, he knew that know.
…
The day she came along Nick could tell Greg was smitten. She was beautiful, captivating, she seemed intelligent and sweet, and it was obvious she was interested in Greg.
That's why Nick encouraged him, she could make him happy. Nick's heart still jumped a beat every time Greg smiled, it didn't matter that he wasn't the cause of it, he wanted it to happen as often as possible.
He could tell Greg was unsure, it was a big step for him, the final nail in the coffin that was them. Greg would be moving on. Nick liked that Greg was reluctant to completely let go, it meant that their time together had meant something, had impacted on Greg's life. But more than anything he wanted Greg to live a long and happy life. So he did the one thing he knew would get Greg's ass into gear, he told him he'd call her if Greg didn't do it.
The next day Greg was practically bouncing off the walls with exuberance. He gushed about Ellen to anybody who would listen. The way he'd never been able to about Nick.
Part of Nick wanted to run away from the gushing, he could feel the hole in his heart that Greg had left, but most of him was just grateful Greg was including him in his life, in his happiness.
"Smart, grounded, get this, the rarest of all things, she's a beautiful woman who has no idea how beautiful she is." Greg swung his arms around like he always did when he couldn't express himself enough.
She had no idea how lucky she was, Nick thought to himself. "Yeah, I wouldn't steer you wrong, bud."
"Get this, she smells like fresh peaches."
"Peaches?"
"Yeah, you know, like peaches, what a peach smells like."
Nick had no idea Greg liked peaches so much.
"Yeah, nice. So you didn't ah… No, you know what?" He couldn't bring himself to ask, it was a step to hard for him, "Don't tell me, I don't wanna know."
The body was the same as the first one, except actually dead this time. Nick was glad to have a case to dig his teeth into, watching Greg be happy was one thing, thinking of him having sex with someone else was something else entirely, something he wasn't ready to deal with yet.
….
Greg had only known her a day but he couldn't get her off his mind, she was intoxicating. They'd clicked instantly, conversation coming naturally and everything else beyond.
He felt free, ok, so everybody in the lab seemed to know his business, which was a little annoying, but it was so refreshing that he would sing it from the rooftops and not care.
He couldn't help but smile when she surprised him at work. It was such a thoughtful thing to do. It made him hope that the relationship could actually work; she understood the hours he worked and was willing to do what it took to work around them.
She was starting to look too perfect to be true. Until he found out about the whole stripper thing, no, burlesque dancer, not a stripper at all. Not that being a stripper is a terrible thing, Catherine used to be a stripper and there weren't many people in the world that Greg respected more than Catherine.
It was more the lack of honesty that worried him. He was suspicious of her, that's why he'd followed, and it turned out he had good reason. It was too early in their relationship to have built up trust but to start off with trust on shaky ground was never easy.
Still, she was worth it, and his heart was in too deep to back off without trying.
….
"Look I get it, she's gorgeous, but you got to cut your losses on this one man, get out of there, she's trouble. She told you she's a teacher and she's a stripper."
Greg knew he shouldn't have told Nick, but it was hard to get out of the habit of telling him everything.
"She is a teacher, and the term is burlesque dancer."
Greg needed someone to be the voice of reason to know how he'd react, to see if she was important enough to him for him to defend her.
Nick laughed, and Greg didn't appreciate it. Maybe this was a worse idea than he'd initially thought, he should have known Nick wasn't capable of being the voice of reason when it came to him. He'd be pig headed and warn Greg away, not even giving her a chance.
"What's the difference?"
Greg let it pass, of all people Nick should know being a stripper didn't automatically mean she was a bad person, he's slept with a hooker! But they were on a scene and it wasn't the place to make an issue of it. Not that she was a stripper of course, burlesque dancer.
"I called her."
"Now why would you go and do something like that?"
"I wanted an explanation, she told me that she was just doing it for the extra money. She couldn't make it on just a school teachers salary alone and she didn't tell me because she didn't want to scare me away."
A very reasonable explanation, in Greg's mind anyway. He could tell Nick didn't agree.
"She lied to you Greg, and if she lied to you once she'll lie to you again."
There was a difference between lying and not telling you something straight away. Greg was sure Ellen would have told him eventually; it's not the kind of thing that makes a good first impression. He didn't go around telling everyone on first dates that he was a CSI, or that he was bi-sexual, he hadn't even told Ellen that yet. You needed to know a person first before you tell them stuff like that. He could understand where she was coming from, and Nick should too, it wasn't like everyone knew he was gay.
"Now who is this Redanbacher dude?" Nick asked.
"It's Hammerbacher, Roderick Hammerbacher."
"Yeah, yeah, who is he again?"
"He's her manager. And he's bad news."
He's the one they needed be concerned about, not Ellen.
"What kind of bad news?"
"Well I pulled his sheet, he's got a long history of psychiatric incarceration."
"Great. This just keeps getting better and better."
"I'm worried about her Nick, she might be in danger."
Nick shook his head, "Well you better make sure you know who you're dealing with man, I'm telling you."
Well duh, that's why he'd looked up his sheet! Greg could take care of himself; it was Ellen he needed to worry about.
"Alright, I'll catch up to you in a minute."
He needed to double check, even if it was just to prove to Nick that Ellen was who she said she was. He got out his phone and dialled a number.
"John Adams elementary school please. North Las Vegas."
"Connecting."
"Thank you."
"Adams elementary school."
"Yes, may I please speak to Ellen Whitebridge?"
"One moment… Sir, she's in class right now. If it's urgent I can get her?"
"Oh no, no that won't be necessary, but could you please ask her to call Greg Sanders, when she has a moment. She has my number, but um, I'll leave it again, just in case."
Great, no proof for Nick.
…
Greg was getting himself in too deep, Nick knew she was trouble, and he'd never forgive himself if Greg got hurt by this after he'd pushed him into it. There was nothing he could do, though, without interfering too much and coming off as the meddling ex. He'd never been a meddler, he'd always let people do what they needed to, and he wasn't going to start here. If Greg needed him, really needed his help, he'd ask, he wasn't that stupid.
Greg figured it out, connected the dots to his girlfriend, he wasn't hiding her possible involvement and that gave Nick hope, hope that Greg was coming around and finally seeing that she wasn't good for him. He needed to get away from her before he got hurt more that he already was.
When the phone call came, Nick knew it was Ellen, but he never thought she'd set him up to die, and he guessed neither did Greg.
When Catherine told him what had happened Nick nearly fell apart right there in front of her. He should have done, he realised now, he shouldn't hide the fact that Greg was the most important person in the world to him. It was the truth so why shouldn't Catherine, a good friend and mentor to both them, know how he felt.
The only thing that stopped him was the pride he felt when he found out Greg had done the right thing and turned her in. He'd been afraid that Ellen had sucked Greg in too far with her mind games, especially after he'd not told them what she wanted from the phone call. But Greg was still Greg, he knew what she'd done was wrong, more than wrong, and she couldn't get away with it.
Greg was quiet for a few days after that, it was disconcerting, a quiet Greg made them all feel on edge. Nick wanted to ask him about it, wanted to comfort him and make sure he would get past it. But he knew he'd just end up getting angry that Greg hadn't let him know about the call. So he let it go, they spoke when needed about the case, nothing more.
Catherine threw concerned glances both their ways; Nick knew she'd been there for Greg right after Ellen was arrested; maybe she could talk to him again.
"Hey Cath?" Nick called after her as she walked in the break room. "Can I have a word?"
"Sure. My office?" She smiled.
Catherine closed her office door behind them and perched on her desk. "What's up, Nicky?"
"Greg." He said simply, he didn't want to beat around the bush, and he hoped she'd know what he meant without much explanation.
"What about Greg?" Nick wasn't sure if she was being deliberately flippant, or she really didn't know.
"You know, he's still so quiet, it's not like him. Have you talked to him? Can you?" Nick rung his hands, the tension getting to him more than he'd realised.
"I have spoken to him. He's embarrassed by it Nicky, he knows he shouldn't have let her get to him. He'll be all right though, he just needs time. And friends. Have you tried talking to him?"
"No. I don't know what to say." He admitted.
"It's Greg." Catherine pointed out, as she stood up. She was right, he did know what to say, he just wasn't sure he was ready to find out about how Ellen had broken the heart of the man he loved.
"Yeah."
Nick walked out of Catherine's office and down the corridor. He hurried to catch up when he saw Greg leaving for the parking lot.
"Greg?" He called, Greg slowed down for him.
"Hey Nicky."
"You all right bud?" Nick cringed at his own words, it sounded so generic.
"Yeah." Greg nodded and made to walk away again.
Go for it Nick, he told himself, just do it, he needs you.
"Wait. I thought you wanted to stay friends?"
Greg looked baffled. "I do."
"Then why don't you talk to me?"
Greg blushed. Nick hadn't seen him look this timid in a long time, he wanted to reach out and take him into his arms until the pain went away.
"You're right." Greg said finally.
He reached out and took Nick's hand in his, squeezing it gently before letting go. "I will." He said.
Nick watched as Greg turned and walked away. He'd made the first move, now he needed to leave it up to Greg.
….
Nick was off work for the next couple of days. He knew Greg was too, but he resisted the urge to call him. He didn't want to seem too pushy, Greg knew he was there for him, and it needed to be his choice to talk to Nick. Not just for Greg's sake, but Nick's too, he didn't want to feel like he was forcing his way into Greg's business, he wanted to be part of Greg's business because Greg wanted him to be.
On the second day he'd just hung up from a conversation with his mom when he heard a knock at the door.
He opened the door to find Greg standing there, shuffling on his feet, his hands in his pockets and lips pursed as though he didn't know what to say.
"Hey." Nick broke the silence.
"Can I come in?" Greg asked.
"Of course." Nick stood aside for Greg to enter.
Greg went straight to sit on the sofa in his old spot, the spot where Nick used to hold him every night.
"Um, I don't know quite how to start." Greg said.
"Start wherever you want, G." Nick sat on the chair to the side of Greg.
Greg laughed. "Helpful, Nicky."
At least Greg seemed more comfortable now, he'd stopped fidgeting and looked like he was trying to concentrate on the conversation instead of avoiding it.
"I feel like a fool." Greg looked down. "But, I miss her too, and that makes me feel even more like a fool."
"It's ok to miss her, Greg, she was a big part of your life, even if it was only for a short time."
"No, it's not like that, not really. I guess I miss the idea of her more than her as an actual person. I got used to the idea that I could actually feel like that about someone again." Greg rubbed the back of his neck and shifted uncomfortably in his seat.
Nick tried to hide his shudder. He wanted to press, to find out if Greg thought he was in love with her, but he'd spent enough times with victims and suspects to know that you don't get people to talk by peppering them with questions, you have to give them space to open up.
"It's been a long time since I felt that way about anyone." Greg continued, still looking down.
Nick thought his heart had already broken into too many pieces for it to crack any further, he'd been wrong.
Greg looked up; his eyes were sincere and rimmed with pain. "It still pales in comparison to the way I feel about you, though."
Did he hear that right? Nick was stunned; he'd expected anything but that. He didn't know what to say.
"The one thing this whole mess has taught me is that I'm lost without you. As soon as I met her you were the one I wanted to tell everything to, you were the one I felt the urge to see and find out your opinion. I was scared of failing you if I messed it up with her, then I was afraid of disappointing you with the whole stripper thing. And it was you I couldn't bring myself to tell when she called, because I knew you'd talk me out of going and you'd have to fix my mess again. I was a fool long before I met Ellen."
Nick sat there in a stunned silence. He'd wished so many times for Greg to say those things, but he'd convinced himself so much that Greg was better off without him, that he couldn't take it in.
"I'll always love you, Nick. And I'll just keep on rambling if you don't say anything soon."
"Why?" Nick blurted out before he had time to think it through. He could tell Greg didn't understand the question.
"I mean, I don't make you happy, so why do you love me?" Nick clarified.
"You always made me happy, Nicky, why would you think that?" Greg looked incredulous, and Nick mirrored it. He didn't understand any of this.
"Because you left."
"I left, because I was angry, so angry, and embarrassed, not because you made me unhappy. You made me happier than anyone ever has, or ever will. I just couldn't get passed… what happened."
"And you can now?" Nick gripped the edge of the chair hard. He wanted nothing more than to throw his arms around Greg and forget everything that had happened, but they needed to talk this through, for both of them.
Greg looked down again and Nick instantly missed the connection to his eyes. "I'm not going to pretend that it still doesn't hurt, but I'm not angry anymore. And nothing could hurt more than the emptiness I feel inside when I'm not with you."
Greg lifted his head slowly and Nick smirked at how shy he looked, it was the first time since Greg had started talking that he felt anything other than shock.
"So you… do you want to get back together?" Nick asked tentatively, his heart warming at the thought of having Greg in his arms again.
"More than anything. If you'll have me?"
Nick laughed, since the moment Greg had left Nick had been telling him he wanted him back, why would he ever think otherwise?
"No. We'll have each other." Nick quickly clarified at the look of horror on Greg's face. "And our friends. We have to do this differently; I have to do it differently. We should be a part of our friends and families lives."
Greg smiled, that kilowatt smile that sent shivers up Nick's spine. "You really want to? Because I don't want to force you into something you're uncomfortable with. I want to be with you whether we tell anyone or not."
Nick stood and swept Greg up into his arms. It felt even better than he could have imagined. "I really want to. You are the world to me, and everyone should know that."
"I love you." Greg said before he leant in and kissed Nick. It was sweet and soft, savouring every moment. Nick felt like he was floating on air. His tongue mashed with Greg's, gently exploring the contours of his mouth that he already knew so well.
They dropped to the sofa, still holding each other. "Aren't you worried about how your parents will take it?"
Nick smiled to himself, "My mom took it well."
Greg did a double take. "What?"
"She took it surprisingly well, Cisco was a little harder but he'll come around eventually."
"What?" Greg asked again. "When did you…? Why?"
"My mom wanted to know what I was so down about, so I told her that you'd left me. After I told her what had happened, she wanted to ring you and talk you in to taking me back."
"Why didn't you let her?" Greg kissed his cheek gently.
"Because I thought you were happier without me."
Greg grabbed Nick's face between his palms and looked directly into his eyes, he could be quite intimidating when he wanted to be. "No matter how pissed we are at each other, never think that, I would never be happier without you."
Nick leant in and kissed Greg again, this time harder, faster, possessive. His hand snaked to the back of Greg's head and threaded through his short hair. Nick's heart beat faster when Greg pressed in closer, chest to chest. He needed to feel more, more of the beautiful, silky skin that was within his grasp yet still felt so far away. Nick reached down and tugged at the bottom of Greg's shirt. Greg lifted his arms to aid Nick's movement. They both giggled when he couldn't get it over Greg's head because they were still connected at the mouth.
"I think we should move this to the bedroom." Greg said, finally without a shirt.
"Mmm. Our bedroom." Nick said as he took Greg's hand and they rose from the sofa.
"Our bedroom." Greg agreed.
Nick pulled his own shirt off and let Greg trail his hands over Nick's chest as they moved as one to their bedroom.
Greg fumbled to undo his belt while Nick kissed at the hollow in his neck. "Oh God, I'd forgotten how crazy you send me when you do that." Greg said through heavy breaths.
"What about this?" Nick teased as he kneaded Greg's buttocks while continuing to kiss Greg's neck.
A guttural moan was all he got in way of an answer.
Nick undid both their pants and watched as Greg shimmied out of his and splayed out on the bed. So beautiful, and so mine, Nick thought, he was never letting go again.
Nick climbed on the bed after removing his own pants. He let his hands explore Greg's skin as Greg's tongue explored his mouth. Nick squeezed at Greg's nipple and was rewarded with a groan and a wriggle of the body beneath him. He softly circled the nipple with his finger before pinching it again, harder this time as Greg's fingers clenched into Nick's back.
"I need you." Greg said after their lips finally broke apart. He reached between them and gripped Nick's hard cock in his hand. His thumb brushed over his dripping pre-cum and wrapped firmly around the shaft before slowly moving up and down. Nick shivered as his eyes clouded over, the world stopped turning around them and all that remained were Nick and Greg, right there, right then, breathing hard and fast. Nick's hips jerked forward into Greg's palm, losing control at the sight of lust radiating back at him through Greg's eyes. Nick's lips latched onto Greg's neck, he knew he'd leave a mark but he didn't care, nothing mattered expect the beautiful man writhing under him.
Nick's hand joined Greg's and their cock's ground together. Greg bucked up and twisted his wrist. Nick didn't think he could take anymore, he felt so good, so hot, so happy, so ready to release. But Greg knew him too well, he released his grip. "I need you inside me." Greg said,
Nick nodded, words wouldn't form. He reached into his side draw and pulled out lube and a condom.
He quickly slicked up some fingers and ran them between Greg's legs, before gently pushing one in, followed by another and another. Greg eyelashes fluttered helplessly and Nick could do nothing but stare as the man he loved writhed on his fingers. Nick sheathed the condom and replaced his fingers with the head of his cock. He took Greg's mouth in his as he pushed inside. Nick groaned at the tightness surrounding him, he was home, right where he was supposed to be; nothing had ever felt more right.
Nick slowly thrust in and out, whimpering as Greg clenched around him. He stroked Greg's cock between them; he could feel the vein throbbing as his hand moved.
"So good Nicky." Greg thrust back against him as Nick picked up speed. He felt the burning in his gut as he pushed harder and harder, the dizziness in his brain the passion induced, the need for more and more until he came with a burst of overflowing energy. As his climax rippled through him he felt Greg clench and spurt into his hand. He rocked gently as Greg came down from on high.
Nick opened his eyes to the most amazing view he'd ever seen; Greg was smiling at him, his eyes hazy, cheeks tinged pink and forehead covered in sweat.
"I missed you." Nick said.
"Missed you too. I'm not going anywhere, ever."
….
A week later Greg had practically moved back in to their apartment.
Greg had insisted that they take their time to sort themselves out before they told people about them. He was more than delighted that Nick wanted to tell people, but he didn't want to rush anything and force themselves into a situation they weren't ready for. He'd also decided that Sara should be the first to know, he felt bad about lying to her while she had been so good to him.
Greg had woken that evening wrapped up in Nick's arms. He lay there contentedly while Nick continued to sleep, just basking in the presence of his lover and the life they would have together. He couldn't help but smile when he thought about the future; he had everything he ever wanted, right here. So much for Nick being the sappy one.
"You're thinking too loudly." Nick whispered into his ear.
"Yeah?" Greg laughed. "I do everything loud." Greg said, thinking about the scream he'd let out as he came the night before.
"True." Nick smirked and Greg could tell he was thinking about the same.
Greg twisted in Nick's arms until they were face to face; he leant in for a kiss just as a knock came at the door.
"Hold that thought." Nick said, he got up and went to the door, leaving their bedroom door open.
"Hey Sara." Greg heard Nick say after he opened the door.
"Hey Nick, I found this at my place the other day. It's Greg's, I thought he might like it back."
Greg flopped back into his pillow. So much for Sara being the first person they told. Greg should have known she knew, how long she'd known was the real question. Sara was far too good at hiding things, they should have taken tips from her, not that they needed, or wanted them now.
Nick stood in the doorway. "So… Sara's knows."
"I heard. You alright?"
Nick smiled and climbed back into his position on the bed. "More than alright. Where were we?"
"Right here." Greg's lips caressed Nicks lightly, flicking his tongue out to deepen the kiss.
Once they finally came up for air, Greg buried his head into Nick's neck and took in a deep breath. It's not just the rotten ones who smell so good, he thought.
