A/N: So, I have to get this off my chest. It's been over a year since I have posted anything, mostly because life happened, but here I am. Writing this (probably) shorter fic just because I've recently become obsessed over this. I just started the Lucifer train since I found it on Netflix a few weeks ago. Half-way through season 3, but I have to get this out. Netflix is producing Season 4, and I cannot wait for something darker and sexier to be given!
I would like to add that this is a continuation of Season 02 Episode 06, the episode after Lucifer has killed his brother, Uriel. I really hope it wasn't just me, but I thought that was the sexiest Lucifer had been. Does that make me a bad person? Perhaps, but this fic was inspired by that turmoil, the angst, and the straining sexual tension between The Devil and The Detective. Enjoy.
Not beta-read, so please, do not mind mistakes!
TRIGGER WARNING: I don't plan on this being incredibly triggering, but some of the content might come off a bit rough. Rated M for language, dark concepts, and, of course, smut.
Just Punish Me
Chloe walked out of the elevator after the chime signaled her arrival. The ride from the ground floor to the penthouse seemed incredibly long, most likely due to her nerves. She was angry, she was hurt, and, mostly, she was confused. All day Lucifer had been different. He wasn't his usual glib self, bouncing about like he owned the place; the place being everywhere. No, he had been late to the scene that morning, he looked as horrible as anyone that handsome could look. Hair disheveled, suit looked days old, shirt buttoned entirely incorrectly, and his dark-rimmed eyes were even more bottomless. She had never seen him like this. Hell, she had shot him and he still had a smile on his face.
After his grand performance at the hospital, essentially offering himself up like a sacrificial lamb in place of an intended target, she had offered her ear. She basically begged him to tell her what was going on. She could see it in his eyes, the intense longing to unburden himself, but he couldn't. He wouldn't. Although she knew he was going through something, she couldn't help but feel hurt by his inability to open-up to her.
She should have stayed home. Trixie was with Dan, she had her place all to herself. She should have taken a bath, had some wine, watched TV, and gone to sleep without any fear of disturbance. However, she couldn't live with herself if she didn't try, at least one final time, to get her partner to talk. Taking slow, short steps into his apartment, not wanting to walk in on anything that would be burned into her brain for forever, she craned her neck into the darkness. The only light on was the one that illuminated the various bottles of liquor, all lined up on this shiny shelves. The piano in the middle of the room was closed, the keys hidden away behind their wooden shield. Out of the times she had been in that room, she had never seen the piano closed.
"Lucifer," she quietly called. She could see the corner of the bed, but couldn't see any occupants. "Hey, I just don't like how we left things at the hospital." She found no signs of life. She heard no rusting, and couldn't see any shadows in the dim lighting.
She continued to slowly walk further into the room. She noticed that it wasn't in its unrealistically tidy state. Clothes were strewn on the floor, multiple glasses adorned any horizontal surface available, and the heat that was always present seemed to be dead. "Lucifer, please," she began, running a hand through her hair. "I really want us to talk about whatever is going on. I want to help. I want to be here for you."
"You see, Detective, I've tried talking, and it doesn't work."
Chloe tried to stifle her gasp as she quickly turned in the direction of his velvety voice. "Oh my God, you scared me," she exclaimed with a nervous laugh. "Where did you come from?"
Lucifer rolled his eyes at her statement. Of course she would try to bring Him into it. "I've been here the whole time," he stated, lightly patting the bar in front of the shelves of liquor. There was an empty bottle of Scotch, a glass with three-fingers of amber liquid, and a full ash tray in front of him. He was still facing the bar, his forearms propped up while his right hand swirled the alcohol in his glass.
Chloe was sure she hadn't seen him when she first walked in, but she knew better than to pick an argument with him over something so insignificant. "I guess I didn't see you over here," she responded, walking towards him with a bit more speed in her step. "Sort of like how you just vanished from the hospital."
"I was just following your advice, Detective," Lucifer chimed in, grabbing a cigarette from the carton and placing it between his lips. He didn't light it immediately, he let it bop between his lips and he took deep breaths and adjusted his jaw. He had gone to Linda for some professional help. Showing her his true form was not part of the plan. His decision backfired, and she was frozen in fear, unable to do anything but sit and quiver in her chair. Her reaction made him regret, actually regret, finally allowing someone to see his true self. "I went to go see the good Dr. Linda, opened up, allowed myself to really show her who I am, and it was a huge mistake," he added, finally bringing a lighter up to the cigarette between his lips. He took a deep drag, allowing the smoke to swirl around in his lungs before exhaling in a cloud of grey.
"Why was it a mistake?" she asked, closing the gap between them so that she was an arm's length away. She could see the slight flash of hurt in his eyes at her question.
"Well," he started, turning his gaze towards the woman next to him. "Let's just say that I've completely petrified my therapist. I don't think she'll ever talk to me again." Lucifer turned his attention back to his cigarette, taking another long drag before pressing it into the overflowing ash tray.
"It can't be that bad," she started, trying to ease her partner's sadness. "Maybe she just needs some time to process things."
Lucifer chuckled quietly, downing the liquid in one gulp. He looked around the bar, pouting at the empty bottle and glass in front of him. "What she needs is to forget she ever met me."
"I don't believe that," Chloe said, reaching out to place a hand on his forearm. His shirt sleeves were rolled up, exposing his skin. She was surprised to feel how hot he was to the touch, as if he had a fever.
"Not surprising, now is it?" he chided. There was a brief pause before he slowly turned his gaze back to her. Dark eyes getting impossibly darker, rage beginning to seep through the cracks. "You don't ever believe a word I say." He pushed himself off of the bar, glaring at her before walking towards the piano. He made stepped half the distance before stopping, almost as if he were waiting for her come-back.
"Lucifer, that's not true," she explained, her hands falling to her sides in near defeat. She started to walk towards him, each step echoing in the silent room. "I know you never lie to me, but I also know that you don't tell me the whole truth." Once she was within a few feet of him, she stopped, she wanted to reach out, to place her hand on his shoulder, to let him know that someone was there for him, but she couldn't. "I just want you to tell me what's wrong. I want to help you."
"I don't need help," he stated plainly. He didn't move, didn't try to turn around to see her. She could see his neck tensing. He wasn't as good at hiding his emotions as he thought.
"Lucifer, you just stood there, begging that man to shoot you!"
"You've already given me this speech, Detective, try something else."
"That's why I'm here," she cried out, her voice shaking slightly. She took a steadying breath, reigning in her feelings. This wasn't about her, it was about the clearly broken man in front of her. "Just talk to me. We're supposed to be partners, and you aren't acting like yourself." She slowly reached out and placed her hand on his arm, trying to reassure him that he had someone he could open up to. Before she knew what happened, he had turned around, grabbing her wrist off of him, holding her arm between them.
"Maybe that's exactly who I'm being!" he yelled, looking down at her, anger and pain apparent on his face.
"No, I don't believe that," she whispered, locking her eyes on his, refusing to back down. Lucifer pushed forward, forcing them to walk towards the nearest wall. Luckily their pace was slow enough so that she didn't trip while walking backwards. They seemed to be walking so gracefully, even though the tension was as thick as molasses. They stopped once her back hit the stone wall, the heels of her boots clicking against the surface. The stone even felt cool through her clothing, a much needed contrast against the heat rising between them.
"Perhaps you should, Detective," Lucifer warned softly, releasing his grip on her wrist, but maintaining his closeness. Their proximity forced Chloe to look straight up, their height difference very apparent, but she didn't let it intimidate her. She knew that's what he was doing. All men try to scare women by using their height and size, but she wasn't scared of him. His eyes, so dark and intense were not empty, they swam with pain, guilt, and misery. Even with this extreme show of force, she couldn't help but feel their undeniable attraction radiate. Without wanting to admit it, she wanted nothing more than for him to press his long, lean frame against her, to be angry, to allow himself to be angry, with her.
Lucifer remained still, his chest rising and falling with every controlled breath was the only movement between them. Every cell in his brain told him to move, told him to walk away and let Chloe leave, but his body refused. The pull this woman had on him was in high gear. His current emotional state disinhibited his control, so every primal instinct was kicking in. Looking down at her, he could see the pupils in her blue eyes dilating, her rosy lips parting ever so slightly, her breath shaky, and her hands clenched at her thighs. Maintaining her stare, he moved his arms up, placing his hands against the wall on either side of her head, stepping a few inches closer. He could feel her breath on his chest, and it took everything out of him to keep from closing his eyes and reveling in the sensation.
As if her body were on auto-pilot, Chloe's hands shot forward, grabbing the front of his trousers, frantically working to undo his belt. Lucifer didn't move, didn't appear surprised, and didn't react as she slowly slid the belt out of each loop before dropping it to the group. Her face hadn't changed, but her eyes looked greedy. He recognized that look, he often saw it in his own reflection: pure desire. After a brief pause she continued with the button, making quick work of it and the zipper. Once his pants were open, and barely hanging on to his hips, she reached for her own jeans, working on the button and zipper. Before she could finish unzipping her own pants, Lucifer hand grabbed her shoulders and spun her around, pressing her into the wall with one large hand in the center of her back. She couldn't help the surprised gasp that escaped her lips, or the sharp inhale as she felt his free hand yanking her pants and underwear down to mid-thigh.
His left hand on her back moved up until it rested on the side of her head, pressing her lightly into the cool stone. She felt his body press against her back, his hot breath blowing her hair. Waves of arousal washed over her. She had never allowed herself to feel this way about him, but something was different. Maybe it was the pain and hurt she saw on his face. The way he was acting out, wanting punishment from someone to help ease his conscience. She was supposed to be getting him to talk to her, but if this is what he needed, she would let him have it.
Their contact only lasted for a few seconds before he pulled himself away far enough to pull his length out of his open trousers. Chloe clenched her jaw as she waiting, unable to feel any part of him besides the hand on the side of her head. He spat into his hand, rubbing the slick fluid around the head of his cock while kicking her feet out wider, giving him more room to nestle between her legs. She braced herself, not knowing when to expect anything, or what to expect. Before she could register his entrance, she felt all of him at once. Her eyes squeezed shut at the sudden change from empty to completely full. She felt his right hand land on the top of her shoulder, squeezing hard, trying to push her body further down onto him. He remained inside of her for a moment before pulling almost completely out and drilling back into her. They groaned in unison, Chloe's toes almost unable to stay on the ground. He slowly dragged himself out, thrusting into her roughly, eliciting a grimace from her.
Although this was a moment he had been waiting for, hoping for, and dreaming about, he didn't see it as this. This was not what he imagine, but he didn't care. He was feeling something other than the guilt he felt about killing his brother. It was a welcome change, whatever it was. He pulled out again, this time thrusting himself into her with everything he had, using his hips to lift her feet slightly off the ground, burying himself impossible deep inside of her.
"That's it," she breathed, gritting through clenched teeth. "Use me, punish me." Although the pace was slow, she felt his body stop completely. He stayed pressed into her, but made no adjustments, no intensions of moving.
"What?" he asked, his voice barely audible. She could hear the slightly disgust in his voice, but brushed it off.
"Punish me," she continued, wiggling against the pressure he was putting on her. "Just punish me, if it will help you stop punishing yourself." With that, he was off of her as quickly as he had entered. Stepping away, but remaining close. She could hear him zipping up his pants, but she didn't move. She didn't want to see the expression on his face, and she didn't want him to see the shame on hers. She pressed her forehead into the wall, allowing the coolness to ease the flush on her skin away.
"This isn't what this was," he whispered, almost to himself. She could hear the slight panic in his voice, but could not bring herself to face him. "I don't want to punish you, Chloe. You've done nothing wrong."
"Lucifer, I-," she started, pressing her palms into the wall by. She wanted to take it back. She wished she had just remained quiet, allowed him to release whatever he was feeling, but she obviously stuck a chord.
"No," he interrupted, his voice louder this time. "I'm sorry," he finished before turning around and walking towards the elevator doors. She slammed her eyes shut, holding back tears until she heard the whir of the elevator as it made its way down. Taking a deep breath, she fought back the tears and pulled her pants up. She smoothed her clothes and her hair, ensuring she looked just as put together as she had when she entered.
She called the elevator back up so that she could leave his penthouse as soon as possible. Thoughts swarmed her mind. She had no idea what had come over her, why she acted the way she had. Was it the sight of him waiting to be shot? Was it the pain that she could see so plainly on his features? Did she just want to have her happy partner back? She wasn't sure. All she knew is that she initiated, and he followed. She regretted bringing up punishment, but the rash decision to undo his belt and the intensity in his eyes as she did so lit a flame inside of her, one that she had tried to keep at bay ever since she met him.
The fresh night air filled her lungs and gave her some relief from the burning of want that pulsed inside of her. She got such a small taste of what he had to offer, and she definitely needed more. Those thoughts quickly dissipated as she realized what she had done. Maybe they wouldn't be able to move past this, or maybe this is exactly what they needed to happen.
A/N: So, there. I just have to apologize for any errors. I tend to do my best writing after I've been drinking, so I have no idea how bad any mistakes might be. Not beta-read, as mentioned earlier. Let me know what you think. This might just be a one-shot, but if you think that there's potential for an addition, let me know. The smut was not extreme, I know, but I can make it, with the right plot, of course. I just had to get this fantasy out of my head. Please, let me know what you think!
PS: I do love dark, so give me your most dark, obscene, evil prompts out there! ;)
