Separated by their Districts, Weathered by war, Katniss Everdeen and Johanna Mason, against all odds, came together in the flames of love. Beyond pain and loss: Beyond hate and desire…
The Hunger Games
Undivided:
A Kat-Hanna Love Story
It started out like a dream: I was walking through a meadow, a wide, open space, under a clear sky. Looking down, a bloom of pure-white roses flowed with the breeze. Soon, however, they began to turn red. Looking up, I saw another Tribute, not much older than I was, clenching his throat as it dripped onto the flowers. After that, all I could hear were screams, and the loudest came from Prim, my only sister.
Jolting awake in her bed and finding herself in a seated position, covered in cold sweat and out of breath, Katniss Everdeen gasped as she slowly returned to the present. Her black hair stuck to her clammy forehead and cheeks while her eyes searched for something real. My sheets, the wooden door, the dresser, the window that creeks… she told herself, only to be interrupted by a gentle hand stroking her hair and upper back.
"Hey, Katnip," a caring yet groggy woman's voice spoke up. "Another nightmare?"
Johanna, my love, Katniss concluded her calming ritual with a sigh of relief. Letting out a few heavy breaths, Katniss finally calmed herself enough to answer. "Yeah," she declared while pushing her long, black locks out of her face. "I was back in The Games. I heard Prim screaming, and…But it's over now."
Letting out a gentle sigh as she sat up, Johanna gently draped her arms around Katniss' shoulders and kissed the back of her neck. "It's okay, Katniss," she whispered into her lover's ear. "The Games are over now. You put an end to all that. We don't have to fight anymore. No one blames you for what happened. You're safe now. We're safe now. And I love you."
"I love you too, Johanna," Katniss let out a sigh of relief as she settled back and rested against her lover's embrace. "Thank you. I don't deserve you."
"Don't say that, angel," Johanna answered. "…I'm not above kicking your ass now that you're settled down." Katniss snickered as she turned her head and kissed her lover's cheek. "You know, I have nightmares too. Ever since The Games."
"Do you want to talk about it?" the black-haired young woman asked. "You know I'm here for you."
"Not tonight, Katniss," the brunette woman answered through closed eyes. Slowly, the two lay down, pulled the sheets up over their shoulders, and held one another tightly. Johanna let out a heavy sigh as she allowed her past to slip away for a moment. "Having you in my life, Katniss, is one of the greatest comforts I've ever had. After the Capital killed my family…I swore I'd never love again. But then, you came in like a bolt of lightning. I hated you at first, but something changed in me, you know?" Katniss smiled and gently brushed a lock of hair out of her lover's face. "It's impossible to hate the real you," the woman confessed in a passionate whisper. At that, the two kissed one another and settled into their warm haven for the night. Outside, however, the world was growing colder.
With her mind calmed, Katniss let out a sigh as she faded into a gentle sleep. This time, her dreams brought her back to a fond memory: Standing between Haymitch and Peeta in a small elevator, the black-haired young woman watched as a woman several years her elder entered through a door she hadn't noticed before. The new passenger, dressed in a tree-themed costume, was tall, slim yet toned and womanly in build, and crowned with a head of long, meticulously styled auburn hair. She bore a look of icy confidence on her face as she quickly sized up Katniss before turning her back to the group.
The woman spoke casually, complained about her costume, and then began shedding her accessories before glancing back at Peeta. "Unzip, please," she requested with a natural smile.
Peeta smiled and accepted despite his natural shyness and better judgment. Watching her opponent disrobing, Katniss first felt a sense of anger at Peeta, followed by disbelief and disgust towards what was happening before her eyes, only for it to be washed away by a feeling almost entirely new: Her stomach felt lighter as a comfortable heat arose just under her ribs, followed by a fluttering of her heart. Within that same instant, she began to take notice of the woman's lightly muscular back, soft skin, and complex physique.
Turning around, the nearly nude woman stepped out of her dress, her breasts and stomach fully exposed. There was, despite her muscular form, a certain softness to the woman's body: Her stomach was just loose enough to be noticed by one paying great mind to it, and her breasts were plump and lightly elevating with each breath. There was a delicate hue to her being, which Katniss could neither deny nor ignore. The sight was radiant beyond the young woman's realm of understanding, but she could not allow herself to show any weakness.
A suggestive wink from the woman who had become little less than a goddess, be it towards Haymitch or her, caused Katniss' heart to pound as her breath and pulse sharpened. Thousands of unusual thoughts and visions coursed through the black-haired woman's mind, though her cold, stoic expression kept them a treasured secret.
"Thanks," the brunette declared as the doors parted, and she turned her back to the party yet again. The entire time, Katniss was unable to look away. There was something about the sway of her hips as the woman confidently made her way down the hall. It was all so new, so strange. Within seconds, the memories blurred into a bright light, followed by the parting of Katniss' eye lids.
"You've saved me in more ways than you know, Katnip," Johanna declared that morning as she blew on her cup of hot tea. "You know that?" Katniss looked up from her meal, though she remained silent. "Not just getting me out of the Capital, but…I don't know…showing me a better way. Before I met you, I hated everything, and everyone. I stole when I didn't need to, I fought when I didn't have to, I talked about murders I didn't even commit, I attacked kids…I thought it was this never-ending storm. I even fought to keep The Hunger Games going, just to punish the world. But you put an end to it all." Silence filled the room as the two stared at one another. Not once did either woman feel the need to blink. "My anger didn't die with Snow, with Coin, or with the Capital…it washed away when you talked to me that night. It was like…leaving that thing I'd become far behind me. I found peace in you. You showed me that the world was still something worth living and loving. Do you remember what you said to me that night?"
"Jo, that whole day feels like a haze," Katniss answered with a gentle yet adamant. "I remember telling you that you didn't need to fight anymore, that we could let go of our defenses…That we could finally start to try to be happy."
"And you forgave me," the brunette choked out as hot tears began to fill her eyes. "You said, 'I'm glad we found each other. I'm sorry for everything you went through.' And, I mean, that was the first time somebody made me feel like I was a person in pain…not just a rabid mutt. I did everything wrong. I did horrible things. You told me I could make it right, let it go, move on…I never forgot that."
"And you were the first person I ever really loved," Katniss confessed. "I love my family, my friends…But I've never been in love with anyone. After The Games…even before them…I never thought anyone would love me. I thought I would always be alone, and that that's what I deserved. I was terrified at first. In The Games, I knew I could just keep fighting or give up and die…but when you told me you loved me…there was nowhere to hide, no way to fight…I finally had to stop and think about myself. Then, I started thinking about you." The black-haired woman placed her trembling hand over and around Johanna's, gently squeezing until they formed something firm. "You saved me, Johanna. We saved each other. The Games, the war…it's all over. The nightmare is over, and during the time when things were supposed to go back to normal, and we stepped away from the fear and fighting and death, we found something better than being stable. It wasn't PTSD or survivor's guilt…It was meant to be."
"And it wasn't built on dependence or need," Johanna added with a weak smile. "We stumbled and found love, even after all the things we did. I love you, Katniss." I Love You.
Days seemed to pass by faster than before, especially with the coming of autumn. Once darkness fell over Panem, Johanna closed, locked, and draped the windows and outside doors of Katniss' house, which the two women came to call Home. Suddenly, the washroom door opened, and Katniss, dressed in only a black robe, her hair still damp and wavy, stepped out and walked into the bedroom with a sense of silent urgency. "Johanna," she spoke up as her heart pounded.
"What's up?" the brunette woman casually replied as she looked up from the bed she finished preparing.
"…Johanna, I need you to see something," Katniss shakingly declared as she clenched the lining of her robe. "We've told each other everything…but I've always been terrified of showing you…Forgive me." Turning around, the black-haired young woman allowed her black veil to fall from her shoulders and onto the floor, leaving her entire back exposed.
Silence filled the air, save for a single gasp. Katniss kept her eyes tightly shut the entire time, fighting off tears. Slowly, Johanna approached her lover, holding out her trembling arm until it touched her shoulder blade. "Katniss, I didn't know," she declared as hot tears welled up in her eyes.
The woman slowly slid her fingers down Katniss' back until they reached the first scar, just right of the spine and over the tip of her rib. From there, the young woman's back revealed the suffering she had endured: The form of her spine was visible down to the waist, signs of severe burns remained clear throughout her lower back, turning her lightly tan skin red, grayish-black, pink in splotches, and bruised, while various long and winding scars danced in all directions. Dead skin was flaking and peeling, even after so many months of healing. "…Do they hurt?" Johanna finally spoke up, her voice gentle.
"Sometimes," Katniss confessed, remembering the aches and stings that used to keep her awake at night. Before she could catch herself, the young woman winced in the memory of pain, causing the tears in Johanna's eyes to stream down her cheek.
Feeling her beloved's pain, the brunette woman lowered herself and gently pressed her lips to the first car. Johanna gently kissed what resembled a cut from a knife before lowering herself to a set of claw marks most likely left by a mutt. Katniss felt her tears escaping through her closed eyes. Once every burn, scratch, and tear had been blessed by her soft lips, the woman stood up, placed her hands on Katniss' shoulders, and slowly turned her around. Katniss slowly opened her eyes, though she gazed at the floor and stared down. Gently, the brunette woman brushed the long, black locks out of her lover's face before wiping away each tear that slipped from her eyes. Her own heart slowly beginning to pound, Johanna placed her trembling hand on Katniss' chest and felt her heart flutter. Unable to move, the black-haired woman slowly met her lover's eyes and parted her lips slightly.
Touching her own heart, Johanna slowly took her hand away and stroked her beloved's face until her fingers reached her lips. Slowly, the woman lifted her right hand from Katniss' chest and wrapped it around her scarred back. The two grew closer as Johanna continued to caress her lover's lips. Soon, Katniss' breasts met Johanna's, and their hearts seemed to beat in sync. Each scar seemed to fade in that moment, and every burn seemed to cool. Finally, Katniss closed her eyes and placed her right hand atop her lover's, lowering it to her cheek as she leaned forward and touched her lips to the ones that had cleaned her wounds.
"I'm so sorry for what you had to go through," Johanna whispered in tears. "I wish I could take all of your scars into my body."
"But you have so many, yourself," Katniss whispered through a heavy breath. "Maybe we can share each other's pain, and turn it into something else."
"I'll share mine if you share yours," the brunette woman promised.
"We'll never face our pain apart, ever again," the black-haired young woman promised.
No longer Victors, Rebels, or Mockingjays, Katniss, dressed in a white wedding gown, faced Johanna, dressed in a black wedding gown, as Haymitch watched over them, dressed in a suit and tie finer than any he had ever worn before. Lifting her beloved's veil, Johanna kissed her soft lips, her eyes closed. Katniss' mother, Peeta, and all those who had stood beside the two in times of war stood in attendance. Gazing out after the kiss, her cheeks dusted with glitter and shimmering with joyful tears, Katniss saw, for a split second, Primrose standing among the cheering congregation.
Months later, Katniss stood before her bedroom window as the dark night's rain pattered against the glass. Lightning flashed in the distance, though it would never strike again. The sound of the hallway lights switching off turned the black-haired woman away from the storm. Johanna entered the room, dressed in her usual bedclothes consisting of a skin-tight one-piece suit covering her from her ankles up to her wrists and ending just under her neck (providing her with the sensation of being swaddled), a pair of pajama pants, and a loose t-shirt, and looked at Katniss with soft and loving eyes. Dressed in a soft, pink silk nightgown made to fit loosely over her softened body, Katniss smiled as her beloved approached her, kissed her cheek, and gently rubbed her growing, life-filled belly. Their miracle was on her way, and Katniss was fortunate enough to carry her within her body, whose scars seemed to soften and fade.
"I love you, Katniss," Johanna lovingly exclaimed.
"I love you, Johanna," Katniss promised.
The two kissed one another as the storm slowly passed outside. They had, at last, found peace in a world said to have been destroyed years before they were born. The Hunger Games were finally over.
