It had been ten days since Hal was arrested as the Black Hood. Ten days since nearly the whole town was burnt to the ground. Ten days since her daughter's boyfriend almost lost his life. Ten days since Alice's whole world was completely flipped on its head. For the last twenty years she had worked so hard to protect her perfect suburban family image only for it to come crashing down in spectacular fashion, complete with reporters and onlookers and news reports from coast to coast. The Small Town Serial Killer. How did the respectable reporter Harold Cooper turn out to be a murdering psychopath? Stay tuned for News at 6.
Karmic retribution, she suspected. If anyone deserved this, it was her. She gave her baby away. She all but sold her soul for a college education, fancy lifestyle and respectable name. She trashed people in her paper for two decades, people who didn't deserve any of it, people who were her family and always had her back, only so she wouldn't have to look at her own dirty deeds. She sat on her high horse for years, looking down her nose at those people, judging their every action in some sort of sick and twisted way of protecting herself. She was single-handedly responsible for her son's death by turning him away when he reached out to her. Her oldest daughter is a teenage mother of twins, fathered by her own dead cousin, who she now highly suspects is in some sort of weird farm cult. Her youngest daughter was emotionally abused and manipulated and tormented by her own father right under her nose, in her very home, and she never had a clue. Her life, to say the least, was a disaster.
And then there's FP.
He hadn't been by to see her or to check on her since the news broke. Not even a text. Not that she blames him or expected him to. She deceived him for nearly 25 years and then spent those 25 years insulting him, berating him, and slandering him every chance she got. She was awful to him, partly because it helped to ease her own guilt and partly because it broke her at her core when they broke up yet he seemed to move along just fine and she was still quite pissed about it.
It seemed silly. That she still harbored such deep feelings for the man, that those feelings never went away, despite the two decades she went out of her way to avoid him at all costs, despite their respective marriages and families, despite the fact that he broke her heart worse than anyone ever had and continues to do so to this very day. FP had made it abundantly clear that night at Pop's that whatever happened between them recently was a one time thing and didn't mean anything to him.
It seemed even sillier that every time her phone chimed or the doorbell rang, she hoped that it was him, there to comfort her and tell her everything would be okay, even if she knows it's bullshit. Although she wasn't real sure what she would even say to him if he did show up. 'Hey, sorry for letting my serial killer husband force me to give our baby away that I never told you about, who is now dead because of me.. want some tea?' Alice figured it was probably just as well that he kept his distance and saved them both the uneasy awkwardness.
Betty had gone back to school two days prior, ready to face the the crowd, the looks, the questions. Betty is so much braver than she ever was, Alice thinks. Certainly braver than she is now. Alice hadn't stepped one foot outside of her house other than to yell crazy things at onlookers who decided to camp on her lawn. She promised Betty she wouldn't engage with them anymore, but that meant the front door stayed shut and locked with the curtains drawn. The only fresh air she got was sitting on her back porch swing. Alone. With her thoughts. Which was always a dangerous thing.
So here she was again. Wednesday at 10:00am. Polly had gone back to the farm and Betty was at school. Alice was proud of herself for managing to get up, shower, and put a little bit of effort into her appearance for the first time in ten days. It made her feel at least a tiny bit better to be dressed, if you consider black yoga pants and an off the shoulder t-shirt, sans bra, dressed. At least it was better than her mismatched pajamas and fuzzy bathrobe. Plus her hair was clean and she shaved her legs. Baby steps.
She hadn't drank today yet and that was an improvement. Her diet for the last ten days consisted of wine, wine, and more wine with a little tequila mixed in for variety. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner. She hadn't cooked her child a meal since it everything went down, instead she watched Betty live off of Ramen noodles, Pop's burgers and Mac n Cheese. Normally Alice would fall over dead before letting Betty eat such garbage, but desperate times and all that. Betty didn't seem to mind so Alice didn't mention it. She just didn't have the energy to cook. She didn't have the energy to do much of anything but agonize over her life choices and where they landed her.
It wasn't until this all happened that Alice realized how truly lonely she was in the world. She didn't have any true friends anymore, she ruined all of those friendships many many years ago. Her mother is dead. She never knew her father, her biological father anyway. She had no siblings. The Coopers had been her only family since she married into it 20 years ago and she detested every single last one of them, even before finding out Hal was a lunatic.
Her one companion these days, aside from Betty, seemed to be Fred Andrews of all people. He has stopped by to check on her multiple times. He comes through the back gate and knocks on the back door. He brings her food and drinks and makes small talk. One time she couldn't stop herself from asking.
"Fred.. why do you keep coming to check on me? I mean, I appreciate it, it's just that I've been pretty terrible to you over the years." Alice was genuinely confused. Not only was she not the nicest to him, her psychotic husband nearly killed him.
Fred laughed softly.
"Remember in second grade when Tommy Miller was bullying me on the playground and you jumped in and kicked his ass?"
Alice looked contemplative for a moment before smiling for the first time in a long time.
"I do. He cried all the way to the nurse's office."
Fred nods.
"Remember that time I was having a lot of problems at home and completely forgot about the rain forest project that was due and I was gonna fail the 5th grade if I didn't turn it in? So you did it for me in one night? And I got an A?"
Alice remains quiet so he continues.
"Remember when my dad died and I wouldn't talk to anyone or eat anything so you showed up with six Pop's burgers and sat there with me while I ate every last one?"
Her mouth turns in a small smile.
"Remember when Mary's mother got real sick and we had to go to Iowa for an entire month and you kept Archie for us so that he wouldn't miss school, no hesitation?"
She gets the picture.
"That's why. We're family, Alice. We may fight, we may bicker, we may drive each other crazy, but we're family. We've been next door neighbors for twenty years. We've known each other since Kindergarten. I love you like my sister and I'd do anything for you. Remember that, okay?"
He ended it with a hug and kiss on top of her head before heading back to his own house. That Fred Andrews. He really was one of a kind.
But today Fred is no where to be found. Probably working as most adults are in the middle of the week. Alice takes a look around her house from her seat on the couch. She's already taken down every picture with Hal in it and burned them in the fireplace, but that's as far as she's gotten. She doesn't yet have it in her to step foot in the master bedroom to go through the things in there nor his office. She's been sleeping in the downstairs guest room for the last ten days. It was the most Hal-proof room in the house, she can't even remember him ever stepping foot in it. She felt safest in there. Cleanest. It made her skin crawl to know she shared a bed with that man for so many years and although they hadn't been intimate in a very, very long time, thank God, just the thought of it made her want to vomit. How could she have been so blind?
Her thoughts were interrupted by a sturdy knock on the door. She took a deep breath and exhaled, preparing to face whatever asshole was on the other side. She swung the door open ready to give whoever it was the heave ho, only to stop short when seeing FP standing there. Internally Alice thanked herself for choosing today of all days to make herself presentable.
"FP." Alice said, clearly surprised by his visit.
"Hey Alice. Can I come in?" He looked behind him to see if anyone was gawking and back towards her. She knew he did it for her benefit as if seeing a south sider at her door would tarnish her reputation. It was hilarious now when you thought about it.
Alice didn't say anything but stepped aside to allow him entrance. Her heart rate picked up considerably as he passed her, leaving a trail of his cologne in his path. She shut the door and leaned back against it, folding her arms protectively in front of her.
"What are you doing here?" Her tone was sad but not accusatory.
FP looked down and sighed before looking up into her ocean blue eyes. "I'm sorry I haven't stopped by sooner. That I didn't call. I just.. I didn't know what to say. It's a bad excuse I know."
Alice was silent for a minute before bursting into a surprising fit of laughter. FP looked at her confused and she covered her face and shook her head.
"You're sorry? FP. If there was ever a time in the history of time for you to not be sorry, this is it. I didn't expect you to come. I didn't expect you to call. I'm sure you hate me. I would if I was you." She confessed the last part in a whisper.
FP stepped forward, standing right in front of her now, shaking his head. "I don't hate you Alice."
"Why not?" She asked incredulously, getting angry that he was being nice to her. "I had your baby and gave him away and then told him to get lost when he came looking for me years later. And now he's dead." She said it so matter of factly it chilled him to the bone.
"You're just as crazy as Hal if you don't hate me." It was a low blow and she knew it. But she felt like playing dirty.
He stood there looking at her, silent for a beat, before shifting on his feet, leaning in closer. "Is that how you want to do it? Self loathing and pity? Fine. We can do it that way. I'm an expert. If you want to blame yourself for what happened to Charles, that's fine, but I get to shoulder half of the blame."
Alice opened her mouth to disagree with him but he kept going, talking over her.
"Do you think I forgot that night? Homecoming?"
She felt her breath hitch at the mention of that night. Arguably one of the worst nights of her life.
"You showed up at the Wyrm. You were still in your dress. You looked so beautiful and you were crying. You asked me if we could talk. I remember thinking you must be there to cry on my shoulder about Hal again. It was the last thing I wanted to deal with. So I told you..." FP trailed off, looking away from her in shame.
"To get the hell out. That I made my choice and didn't belong there anymore."
"That's right." FP confirmed solemnly.
"And then started making out with some skank right in front of me." Alice added for good measure.
He couldn't say anything. It was true. He remembers just wanting her gone and doing anything to make that happen. It hurt too much to be near her anymore.
"You were coming to tell me about the baby weren't you?"
Alice doesn't answer him. He's gotten considerably closer, now only inches apart. Personal space has never been their strong suit.
"And I turned you away. So whose to blame, huh?"
Alice hadn't even considered it from that perspective and while it helped to share in the guilt, it did little to dull hers.
She shook her head, her emotions getting the best of her. Tears fell down her cheeks. "I still could have kept him. I could have figured it out. I could have.. I could have.." she was crying in earnest now. FP pulled her into his chest, wrapping his arms around her tightly.
"Baby you were 17 years old. You were homeless living in the basement of your boyfriend's parents house. The father of your baby was a dick and your boyfriend was an asshole. You did what you thought you had to do." He said reassuringly and with conviction, believing every word he said. "You can't let this eat you up Alice. I won't let you."
Alice pulled back slightly, looking up at him with a tear stained face. "I wanted to keep him. When he was born." Her face crumbles in agony, recalling that morning. "He was so beautiful. He was so tiny and perfect. And I changed my mind, I couldn't bare parting with him. I loved him so much. But they took him anyway." She was hysterical now and FP couldn't stop his own tears from falling. "When the Coopers brought me to the Sisters, I had to sign all this paperwork. I was so upset I didn't even read any of it. I signed my rights away and didn't even know it. I promise FP, I didn't mean to."
He pulled her back to his chest, softly rubbing her back as she sobbed. "I know baby." He whispered softly in her ear. "It's not your fault. It's not your fault, do you understand me?" He pulled back to look her directly in the eyes. "What happened is tragic and devastating but we can't change it now. We can only try to accept it and move forward." He brushes a piece of tear stained hair from her face, looking deep into her eyes, begging her to listen to him.
Alice wanted to believe him. She wanted to accept it. She wanted to move forward. But right now it felt like she was drowning in a sea of sorrow and barely hanging on by a thread, and they hadn't even broached the topic of her psychotic husband yet.
She grasped tighter to the back of his shirt, holding him even closer to her. His warmth and presence always had a calming effect on her and she desperately needed it now. Alice looked back up at him, their faces only inches apart. She briefly recalls him rejecting her at Pop's and wonders if it's a bad move, but her need to drown in him and nothing else overtakes any doubt when she leans up and captures his lips in hers. It's soft at first. Tentative. But FP has other ideas as he cups one side of her face and deepens their kiss. Alice moans appreciatively and lets his tongue slip into her mouth. He backs her into the door and her back hits it with a small thud. She wraps her hands behind the back of his head, tangling then in his hair.
A minute later, FP pulled back. "Alice.. " his eyes are still closed and he's out of breath.
"Please baby." She sounds desperate. "Make me forget. Just make me forget." She leans into kiss him again and this time he doesn't pull away.
