Under the leaves I lie
Under these leaves I lie wishing to die; as I wake once more form unconsciousness, I wish I couldn't feel, they seem to be still there but I know they are gone, the torturous pain is like electric shock, one movement and another wave comes and blackness envelopes me. The leaves are rough on my skin: I'm trying not to move, he told me not to, but as impulse goes, I do move, influencing more excruciating pain as I relive that itch, staining myself with crimson agony. I lay in waiting wishing some one to come and find me, wishing I could die and have no more pain. A bighting wind exposes my legs and face; I can see the trees, dark and imposing, seeming to lean closer to me. Vulnerable and unprotected; they seem to corner me. I am too alert, scaring at the slightest thing; a bird or small animal. I think I am finally getting my wish, because I am colder now than before, the wind has exposed me more and now my torso can be seen from the life around me, the scavengers stare pondering at the sight of this sickly being below them, covered in her own pain, of something that is supposed to remain in ones body, and only leave it by ones free will. I am lost, unable to move from sheer exhaustion; of my body attempts to fix what had been done to me, but failing with my every move. I close my eyes emptying my mind of the horrors that have been done me; and at last I can cry; thanking the heavens they are taking me away. I begin to laugh, wasting to energy needed to stay living, draining myself of the thing I need most, the colour vividly displaying itself to me through closed eyes; I cry. I am now colder still, merely floating in and out of unfeeling gentle unconsciousness to reality thriving cruel consciousness. Katrina! I hear my name, and smile; has my wish been granted… Katrina can you hear me! Yes! I hear you please let this agony subside! I want death…I need it to swaddle me in peace, let me die… Live girl! Come on… Listen to my voice Katrina! Keep on fighting! My eyes are open and I seem to be surrounded by bright lights; I'm dead! I am relieved to be freed of the immense torture that had me grasped in near insanity. I am proven wrong, as a nurse walks in, glad of my apparent consciousness. Cruel, reality thrived consciousness. The pain has not left me, it has been smothered, with morphine, and hidden; never removed, purely hidden. I close my eyes again and am back under the leaves. I continue to visit this bloodstained place, with every blink of my eyes. I will never be rid of the horrors; but living is still one of them. Under the leaves I lie, under the leaves I wished to die.
