What A Way To Go Out


Once again, this is an epilogue for "The Killer In You".
If you haven't read that yet, I'd suggest doing so before you read this, or else it will not make sense.
That being said, you don't have to read this is you DID read The Killer In You. I left it the way I did in case some people were okay with the original ending. (And if you weren't, that's okay because this was made specifically to give you closure!)
Enjoy :]


Stiles isn't even aware of muttering "Please don't call my dad" over and over to Scott from where he sits, crumpled on the ground next to Derek's still body, but Scott hears it. He hears it, so instead of calling the Sheriff (despite his better judgment), he respects his best friend and calls Chris Argent. He knows he needs to call someone - they shouldn't have to deal with this on their own, they're still just kids - so he calls his own girlfriend's father. When Chris sleepily asks what's going on, Scott tells him that it's an emergency, but not to call the Sheriff, and to just get to the Hale household as soon as he can. And thankfully (it's probably because Chris is so used to working outside of the police by now) he listens.

Even though he's sure that Chris is speeding to get there as fast as possible, Scott still has to wait. He still has to wait and watch his best friend fall apart, slumped over the cold, unmoving body of the man who tried to kill him. He has plenty of questions, but he knows better than to ask. They can wait. Instead, he's there for his friend the only way he knows how to be. It takes him a few moments to muster up the courage to do so - to be fair, he's only seen two bodies in his entire life - but eventually he crouches down next to Stiles' shaking form and puts a comforting hand on his shoulder, murmuring out, "Hey... It's okay..."

It takes less than twenty minutes before Scott hears the SUV pulling up outside of the house and he reluctantly stands, glancing at Stiles one last time before walking away. "I'll be right back," He says softly, even though he's sure that Stiles can't hear him, not through his haze. He doesn't even look away from Derek as Scott stands and walks away.

"What's going on?" Chris asks all seriousness and nerves as he jumps out of the driver's side of the car. Allison is in the passenger seat - and Scott wishes she wasn't because she does not need to see this - but he's glad that they didn't bring anyone else.

Scott stops him before he can walk in the house, hands on his shoulders. "Before I tell you anything, you need to swear that you won't tell the Sheriff. I don't know if Stiles can take it."

Chris' eyes narrow, "What is it, Scott?"

He swallows hard. "Derek is dead."


Thankfully, Chris sticks to his word. Even after finding his friends dead - even after telling Allison to go wait in the car because she doesn't need to see this - he sticks to his word. "I'll have to tell their families," He says softly, glancing toward Stiles, "But I won't tell the his father."

"Thank you," Scott says softly, eyes still locked on Stiles, who still hasn't moved from his place over Derek. "What about them?"

"I'll take care of it," Chris replies, watching Stiles as well, "We'll bury them out here."

It should make Scott scared that Chris has experience in this - covering up murders and burying bodies - but right now he can't bring himself to care, not with the way that Stiles is still slumped over Derek, clutching onto him as if he'll come back to life.

"What about Stiles?" Scott asks softly, finally tearing his eyes away from him to glance at Chris.

"He's the one who shot Derek?" He asks in return, and Scott nods. At that, he swallows hard. "Right. Well he's going to need a friend there for him. Taking a life isn't easy, even if it is someone who deserves it. How about you get him out of here and I'll take care of the rest, alright?"

Scott nods stiffly, "Thank you."

"You're welcome," Chris replies gruffly, clapping him on the shoulder, "At least it's finally over."

Scott wishes he could say the same.

Chris leaves the two of them alone in the house to gather themselves while he goes to his car to grab a few things that he needs, and after a few moments of trying to figure out the right way to do things, Scott is crouching down by Stiles again, hand on his shoulder. "Stiles," He says softly, willing him to look up. He doesn't, of course. He doesn't even acknowledge his presence. It's as if Derek is suddenly the most important thing in the universe to him, which worries Scott more than he'll admit. "Stiles, we have to go."

And that apparently strikes something in Stiles, because he's sitting up at that, turning to look at Scott. "I can't," He says quietly, eyes pleading.

"We need to," Scott replies softly, gripping him a little harder. "Chris needs to take care of things."

Stiles eyes widen at that, "Chris?"

"Argent, yeah," Scott confirms, "Don't worry, he's not going to tell your dad."

Stiles quickly glances back down at Derek at that, then back at Scott, "What's he going to do with him?"

"He said he'll bury them around here. He won't tell anybody. But we have to go, Stiles."

He shakes his head frantically at that, and Scott realizes that Stiles is still gripping Derek's limp hand. "I can't."

"We have to," Scott repeats. He stands at that, pulling at Stiles to get him to stand as well. And maybe it's because he's already weak from fighting so hard or maybe he's just given up, but he allows himself to be hoisted to his feet without any more arguing, with one last touch to Derek's pale face and a soft goodbye. He walks on shaky legs - Scott is carrying most of his weight, to be honest - and doesn't even notice Chris or Allison watching them as they make their way to the Jeep. He's still in his haze, even as Scott helps him into the passenger seat, even buckling his seat belt for him. And he's still in a haze as they pull out of the driveway and he watches Derek's house disappear in the mirror.


The Sheriff doesn't find out.

Chris doesn't tell him, which is good thing, but it also means that Stiles still has to go back to school on Monday because his father has absolutely no idea what happened.

The only people that know the truth are Scott and Allison and they try to be there for him - they try to understand - but they can't. Not really, not fully. Not when they don't know what really happened behind closed doors. Scott tries to understand why his best friend seems so heartbroken and empty, but he can't. Even when he puts all of the pieces together - the bits of conversation he could overhear from outside of Stiles' house and the way that he acted that night - it doesn't make sense, and he accepts that he might never know why.

Regardless, they try to make things easier for Stiles, despite him numbly assuring that he's okay. Allison keeps a close eye on Stiles when Scott can't, and Stiles even notices that Chris is around his house more than usual too, as if he's looking out for him. And he doesn't tell Stiles' father, just like he promised, out of respect for the kid.

Stiles feels bad for his friends. He knows that they're trying - struggling - to understand why he's acting the way he is. He knows that Scott still doesn't understand why he reacted the way he did to finding Derek threatening to kill his best friend. Scott doesn't understand why Stiles felt like a part of him died when Derek did.

But then again, Stiles doesn't fully understand why, either.

He had just started to sort things out in his head that night after Derek came by his house. He was finally coming to accept that his feelings for Derek - however unhealthy they may be - were there to stay. And that the feeling was mutual. Or at least somewhat. It definitely made it easier for those feelings to manifest, though, when Derek was being nice to him and saving his life, like he used to. And you know... The whole kissing thing, too.

So Stiles tries not to be ashamed of his feelings anymore. What he felt - what he experienced - was real. Regardless of how unhealthy and somewhat one-sided it was, it was real, and he can't help how that makes him feel. It's hard, but he finally comes to terms with what happened between him and Derek.

He can't come to terms with Derek's death, however.

Stiles thinks it's ironic, after wishing for an entire year that his father had just pulled the trigger, that all he wants now is for Derek to be okay. For everything to just be one bad dream. He finds it ironic, when he wakes up in the morning, that he wishes that he wouldn't have listened to Derek that night. That he wouldn't have pulled the trigger.

It's hard to function, but then again, it always has been. His life is ridiculous, and even he knows that. Even before he found out about Derek and that stupid black book, before that fateful night, and before the events over the course of the past few months, his life was a mess. His best friend was a Goddamned werewolf, and when those adventures weren't dangerous, stressful, or draining enough, he had to fix everything, save everyone, and still be up for school the next morning. He hadn't been getting along with his father, was still mourning the loss of his mother, had a terrible social life, and was constantly throwing himself in the line of fire for the one friend he did have. And on top of all of that, and any other normal teenage things, he had to deal with Derek and the Alpha pack and his feelings.

So, yeah, when all of that adds up, it makes sense why it's hard to function. From any outside perspective, it's a totally natural reaction to all of the stress and danger and pressure that he's been put under. But in Stiles' eyes, he sees himself as pathetic. In his eyes, he managed to almost get himself killed (putting even more stress on his father), then actually acquire feelings for the one person who tried to kill him, which in turn almost got his best friend killed. And then on top of that, he managed to kill Derek. So in Stiles' eyes, he's a royal fuck-up. But he hides it well.

When you've been wearing that mask - telling everyone you're okay and not dealing with your problems - for as long as he has, it comes natural.

He still talks to the school counselor every other day. Sometimes it helps. Even though he can't tell her about everything that happened, he can open up a little, and yeah, it does help. But then he's out those doors and Scott and Allison are watching him as if he's on the verge of killing himself or doing something equally crazy, and he's right back to where he started.

He can't sleep, and when he does, he has nightmares. They're different than before, though. Before - after Derek tried to kill him - he'd have nightmares of a terrifying creature with piercing red eyes, lurking in the shadows. He'd have dreams of being chased, or of Derek waiting in his room for him. He'd dream of Derek taking his time slicing him open, slowly and intimately.

These nightmares are different, though. Instead of angry, red eyes peering at him from the dark, there's Derek - natural, soft eyes - staring at him, begging, pleading for him to do the right thing.

Stiles wakes up wondering if he did do the right thing.

Regardless, it's all over and done with. There's no going back. That's the part that hurts the worst. It's permanent. Derek's not locked away, still very much alive and fighting, in a cell. Stiles could have dealt with that. And he's not away, living a new life in a new state. He could have dealt with that, too. No. Instead, he's gone. And he's not coming back. That's the part that absolutely kills Stiles. Derek is gone, and Stiles isn't. He's left alone to sort out the mess that is his life and try to pick up the pieces.

He feels like there's unfinished business. That what happened between the two of them over the course of those couple of months is still new. That they could have worked something out. Of course Stiles knows that it's naïve - that if Derek was still alive, they'd probably never see each other again anyway - but it doesn't make it hurt any less.

He would go off and fall for with the man who tried to kill him. Typical Stiles.

He also tries not to think about the fact that what he felt for Derek was something more than hatred and something more than Stockholm Syndrome. That he might have actually had feelings for him. That what he's feeling now could quite honestly - among other things - be heartbreak.


AN:
So I originally intended to make this a 1-2 parter but then I wrote over 10,000 words and I wanted to space it out a little bit, so it's going to have 4 chapters. I guess it's more of a sequel than an epilogue, but oh well. Hope you guys like :]

Also the fic and 1st chapter title are from the song "Derailed" by Scary Kids Scaring Kids.