Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS...I wish I did.

Spoilers: 6x25 through season 7

What really happens when it comes to Ziva having fieldwork, can she go out alone? Why is someone always with her? What happened before she came back and what about it has changed her life forever? What happens when Mossad interrupts her life and sends someone she never expected to see again…will she survive or fall back into herself again?


Ziva sat at her desk, filling out her 'homework' for therapy. She received psychological therapy every two weeks from a psychologist at Bethesda. Dr. Janis Larson had been 'determined' to get her to open up more to the people in her life, so much that Ziva now had a 'recovery' partner for therapy.

When asked if she had someone who she could trust with her secrets and everything that occurred, Ziva considered Gibbs till she realized that he was no someone who needed to know everything. Finally she rested on Tony as her 'recovery' partner and knew that it would help their friendship and partnership…however she never expected their after-session meals to turn into dates.

Their three month anniversary was approaching and fell on the day of a session; Dr. Larson said that they could skip that session and celebrate 'appropriately' and within their comfort level. Tony told Ziva their anniversary would consist of going to the range and shoot a few boxes of bullets before dinner at his place with a movie, she loved the idea.

Ziva looked up from her 'homework' to find her partner/boyfriend doing paperwork. "Did you fill out your homework?"

McGee eyed them, "homework? Are you taking classes somewhere Tony?"

Tony ignored McGee and looked up to find Ziva looking at him, "yeah, just finished it…I hate the last question she always gives."

Ziva nodded and they both spoke, "'How do you believe your partner is progressing?'"

"If she wasn't helping, I'd probably have killed her by now." Ziva looked back at her homework and eyed the last two questions on her paper:

What progress have you made personally?

How do you believe your partner is progressing? Both she and Tony always found themselves answering that question with honesty and often the answer continued down the back of the paper with more than Dr. Larson wanted.

"You know what she said about those killing urges." Ziva's head snapped up and she pointed at him, her eyes dared him and knowing her well enough, Tony went back to his work.

The bullpen lapsed into silence till Gibbs came in, "multiple bodies, massacre…three houses, all connected…just verified. David, you'll have house one, DiNozzo you'll…"

"Gibbs," Gibbs eyed Ziva, "you know what Dr. Larson said…she spoke with you about field work."

"Fine, McGee you'll take house two." He handed McGee an address, "DiNozzo, David…house one." He handed an address to Ziva. "I'll be at house three; they are in the same neighborhood yet blocks apart."

"Gibbs…why is Ziva going with Tony?"

Everyone was silent and Ziva knew it was time, she looked at McGee. "I have PTSD and as policy…I have to have a handler…Tony was chosen as my handler." She shrugged as they all stepped into the elevator, "besides…despite NCIS's psychologist's review of my status…my psychologist notified Gibbs I cannot go into the field alone."

"Why?" McGee was confused and to demonstrate, while not telling, Gibbs dropped his heavy bag on the floor and it gave off a sharp sound. Ziva jumped and turned suddenly, knife in hand. "Oh."

Gibbs nodded and picked up his bag, "sorry Ziver…it was easier to show then talk."

Ziva took a deep breath and put her knife up, "just warn me next time."

"That was the point…so he knew what happens." Gibbs placed a hand on her shoulder and she continued to breathe.

"Apple, Bird, Cargo, David, Elephant," Ziva began her exercise that she had been taught by Larson…name a single object, person's name or word in order of the alphabet; it was meant to calm her and by the time she got to 'Israel,' she was usually calm; not this time however. " Friendship, Grass, Hebrew, Israel…" Taking another breath, she closed her eyes and moved her neck around.

"Jasmine, Killer, Love, Mission, Never…" Tony began to pick up where she left off, Ziva smiled at his attempts to continue to calm her. He had learned, as part of his 'partner' role, her ABCs and committed them to heart. "Ops, Paris, Quality, Rights, Safety, Tel Aviv, Union, Victory, Washington, X-Ray, Yosef, Zebra." He finished and looked at her, "feeling better?"

"Very much so." She smiled as they exited the building and headed to the parking lot.

"I'm confused!" McGee looked at them, "what the hell were you doing?"

They were halfway to the parking lot, Gibbs chuckled and slapped McGee's head. "It's called Therapy. Call when you arrive at the houses."


NCIS, BULLPEN; 17:00

Tony walked with Ziva to her desk, she had thrown up at the crime scene… luckily running outside before contaminating evidence; he had been beside her as she emptied her stomach.

Holding her hair back, Tony had rubbed her back as she finished heaving, taking the water he held out. Neither she nor Tony had suspected to find the victim in the condition they found her and the way she was beaten and tied to a chair made Ziva remember Somalia. It had been Tony's voice saying her 'come back' word that was her way out of memories, that stopped the possibly damage she could have done to him.

When she heard him speak her sister's name repeatively, she came out of her memories and fell into his arms before running outside to empty her lunch and breakfast onto the ground beside the car and on Tony's shoes. He didn't care about his shoes as he once would have, he instead placed Ziva in the car after reciting the ABCs with her and called Gibbs, who had taken over and sent Ziva back to the office.

Sitting in her chair, Ziva looked at the desk, embarrassed. "I feel embarrassed…I would have never done that at…"

"You aren't Mossad anymore Ziva…and after the hell you went through…I'm surprised you didn't have a full on flash back and hurt me."

Ziva looked at Tony, he eyed her with love and adoration, she wondered why he always eyed her with that look despite what had or was occurring. "Thank you Tony."

He nodded and kissed her head, "rest…I'll take you home after Gibbs gets back and I get briefed…I want you to sit this case out and I doubt Gibbs will have an issue with it." He placed her bag down and opened her drawer, pulling out a pack of saltines. He placed her water beside the pack and she knew by action that he wanted her to eat.

Ziva ate a few slowly and drank her water as Tony went to his computer and began work. He was never mad, always caring and put her before anything; Gibbs could give him several head slaps and he always put her before his work, it had occurred so she knew from experience how much Tony devoted himself to her.

She could only love him more, he had done so much to hurt her in the past but she found that he refused to hurt her again. He didn't make a promise unless he could keep it and went out of his way to be ahead of schedule if they planned to do something so that he could not be on time or late.

He had told her a few days before in therapy that he loved her…it was not a question or asked of him, he just decided to tell her out of nowhere. It had surprised both her and Larson, but Ziva could only say she loved him as well. After that occurred, Larson cut their therapy session early, by a whole thirty minutes, and told them to have lunch and talk.

She remembered when Michael's death had been brought to light, Tony said he was sorry and that if he could redo history, he'd have never confronted Michael or have touched him…so she would not have gotten hurt. She could only tell him she understood and knew why he did so.


Ziva's Apartment; 19:00

After a two hour brief from Gibbs and McGee, Tony said he was taking Ziva home and would be back in the morning however Ziva would not be. When asked what he meant, Ziva spoke up and said she would not be covering the case…neither Gibbs or McGee did anything other than nod.

Walking to Ziva's door, both stopped to see it cracked…both pulled their guns and gently went in. They found two men in the room and one was thought to be dead.

"Hello Ziva."

"Michael!" and "Rivkin" were spoken by Ziva and Tony at the same time. Eli David smiled and looked at his daughter.

"I thought you'd be happy to know he is alive…of course thought dead due to a mission." Eli smiled, "he is quite amazed you completed his mission and came out alive."

Ziva dropped her gun and Tony realized what she was going through…another memory lapse. Tony put his gun down slowly and looked at the two men. "Put whatever weapons you have down slowly."

"What?" Michael eyed Ziva, stepping towards her and it was then that Ziva had her knife and cut Michael's arm before Tony restrained her.

"Tali, Tali, Tali." Tony spoke to Ziva as she struggled against him, "Ziva…come back, you're in Washington, not the desert," they never said the word 'Somalia' because it made things worse. "Tali, Tali, Tali."

Soon Ziva relaxed against Tony and he gently lowered her to the floor, moving her weapons away. She blinked and looked around, "Tony?"

"Shh, no one is dead, just injured." He held her and she soon began her ABCs.

"Apple, Bird, Cargo, David, Elephant…" Ziva began to stop and Tony took over for her.

"Friendship, Grass, Hebrew, Israel, Jasmine, Killer, Love, Mission, Never, Ops, Paris, Quality, Rights, Safety, Tel Aviv, Union, Victory, Washington, X-Ray, Yosef, Zebra." He let her go and grabbed her weapons, putting them on a shelf, Ziva sat with her arms wrapped around her legs, quiet.

Michael and Eli looked at him, "what has happened to her? You did this!" Michael grabbed him and Tony pushed the Israeli back.

"No, Ziva has PTSD…speaking about the mission made her regain memories of her torture and capture. Anything can trigger it, from a smell to a word…she's recovering slowly and it's not easy. What you just saw is only a percentage of what can happen."

"What do you mean?" Eli looked at Tony, "what do you mean by percentage?"

"If I hadn't been here and known what to do when you said what you said…its likely you'd both be dead and Ziva would be getting a needle in the arm for murder of two Israeli officers…she's an American citizen now." He bent down beside Ziva, "Ziv…come on, it's alright."

He helped her stand and she, realizing her surroundings, headed for her bedroom. Tony eyed the two Mossad officers before him.

"Perhaps if you return tomorrow and keep quiet, she'll be more like herself." He picked up Ziva's weapons and put her knife in the empty sheath he kept at his waist and the SIG in the empty holster on his leg…he carried them to make sure Ziva's weapons were off of her after 'memory lapses' and until she was over one. "Might want to get that looked at…it seems deep."

Michael looked at his arm and nodded, it was deep and more of a stab wound then a cut.

"We should go, I will be back tomorrow…tell Ziva such. We have so much to talk about, she and I."

"I'm sure." Tony eyed Rivkin, "however she is no longer Mossad…"

"As I am aware, just as much as the bullet wounds you gave me. I wish to discuss that with Ziva…"

"I have forgiven him," they looked up to see Ziva, "if you had not betrayed or used me…he would not have tried to protect me and due to your drunkenness…he had to shoot to keep from being injured." She took her place beside Tony, "besides…what was between us is dead…like you both are to me. Leave because as far as I'm concerned…I'm no longer Israeli but American."

"We will leave and discuss this at a later time." Eli looked at Michael, "we will have this looked at once we get to the Embassy."

Tony watched as Ziva shut the door behind them, immediately returning to Tony's arms, her safety net.

She'd have to confront her father and Michael, as he was no longer dead and she wished to know how, but at the moment she preferred to be in Tony's arms.