a/n: I assume most folks are aware of the current controversy regarding Stana and Tamala not having their contracts renewed for season 9. It made me unhappy. Rather than channeling my energy into something negative, spiteful, or laced with expletives, I decided to write out my feelings. See below, if you want to.


"Do you remember when we first met?"

Kate looked up from her book to find Castle leaning over the couch, smiling down at her. Sunlight streamed through the loft, warm and golden. "That book party?"

"Yeah. That was a good night." He settled down across the couch from her, leaning his chin on his hand. "I know you didn't like me. But I knew, right then, you were special."

Kate bit her lip. "You never gave up. I think that's probably the most remarkable thing."

Castle covered her hand with his, warm and gentle. "You were always worth it. All those years. I don't regret anything."

"Then why am I leaving?" she asked quietly.

Castle shrugged. "We don't have enough money."

"So Lanie and I both have to leave?"

"That's what I'm told."

"I guess," Kate said quietly, setting down When The Heat Dies, "I was foolish to think love was the most important thing."

"It worked for a while," Castle said. "It was nice."

"You told me I was the love of your life."

He shrugged. "Like I said. It was nice. But when you left, I came to realize – I don't really need you, do I? Once we separated, I came to see how easy it was to be without you. It's lucky you left. If you hadn't, I might never have realized that."

"That's not why I left."

"I think we both know that's not true."

Castle picked up the book she'd set aside, paging through it placidly, as Kate stood up, pulling on her favorite jacket. Strange, how easily her huge wardrobe fit into small spaces. Her suitcase. A relatively small wardrobe.

She was halfway to the door, footsteps tapping through the quiet loft, when she stopped, turning back to him. "What will you do?"

Castle held up a hand. "Don't worry. I'm sure I can handle everything from here on out."

Kate nodded slowly, picking up her suitcase. "Right. It was always about you, anyway. I'm fairly peripheral in the grand scheme of things."

"That's what I'm told."

She stepped into the hallway, the door closing behind her before he could ask where she was going.