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Rated M for excessive language throughout, drug use, alcohol abuse, sexual content and characers being ridiculously out of character. Enjoy!
Dragonball C
Book 1
CHAPTER 1
VEGETA'S MELANCHOLY
Dark Vegeta roamed the forestry outside his cave, picking berries and gathering wood for his fire. Dark Vegeta was a saiyan that survived the destruction of his home planet, Vegeta.
He had roamed the galaxy, searching for the remaining saiyans, Kakarrot and Prince Vegeta. He had finally reached planet Earth, where his targets resided. He wanted them to join him in galactic conquest, but the two remaining saiyans refused, preferring peace.
Dark Vegeta, enraged, decided if they wouldn't join him and gain honor for his people, they did not deserve to live.
He tried to defeat the two saiyans and was defeated after a brutal fight with Goku transformed into a mighty Ozaru, a giant gorilla monster. Goku and Vegeta let the renegade saiyan live for a while as Vegeta trained to finish off the renegade. Later, Dark Vegeta tried to beat them by at first striking at the heart: their new families and loved ones. In this, he also failed. Later, he gained great strength from the Dragonballs and attempted to defeat the Z-fighters again.
The Z-warriors were almost defeated, but a desperate attack from Vegeta and Goku defeated the lost saiyan.
Dark Vegeta soon after tried to apologize to the Z-fighters. His apology was accepted, but Vegeta still hated him and drove Dark Vegeta from his home and into the forest where he now resides.
Now, the renegade saiyan lived in the forest, surviving—even thriving—in the solitude of the woods.
The saiyan, quite content in his new home, kneeled down at a berry bush and picked a berry. The berries of this bush were a deep red and looked akin to raspberries. The berry was very juicy and while picking it, juice leaked onto his hand.
He popped the berry into his mouth and closed his eyes in delight. The berry's juice was tart, but sweet.
"Hey, what the hell are you doing out here in the woods?" said a voice feminine but deep and aggressive from in front of the bent-over saiyan.
Dark Vegeta looked up at the blonde woman, who had a scowl on her face. "I live here." Dark Vegeta responded.
"Why?"
"I was cast from my home and now I reside in the forest. What is it to you?"
"Well, what's your name, you filthy bastard?"
"Dark Vegeta; what is yours, female human?"
"What…Female human? Whatever—I'm Lunch."
"Well met, Lunch. Would you like to stay for dinner?"
"No way, hobo! What kind of food could you possibly have besides nuts and berries?"
"I have a few rabbits and a flower for flavor." Dark Vegeta picked up the flower and held it up in front of Lunch's face.
"No! No, you ass—…" Lunch's head lurched backward and—Fugh!—sneezed.
Suddenly, she was a young, dark-blue haired woman. "Oh, hello…" She said, wiping her nose with her hand. "My other form must've been trying to hide this bag of money in the woods," Lunch said as she pulled a wad of cash from her bag that hung over her shoulder. "I hope I wasn't too obnoxious!" She said in apology. Her voice had changed from deep and aggressive, to light and happy.
"Oh, no-no-no," Dark Vegeta said with a wave of his hand. "I was just asking you if you wanted to join me for dinner."
"Oh, I'd love to!"
* * * * *
Vegeta sat bent over in his seat with his head resting on his upturned palm. His wife, Bulma, had left him for his rival, Son Goku. Apparently, she had never loved him, but had loved Goku instead.
Son Goku and Bulma had been secretly seeing each other for a few months, until Bulma finally left him. The saiyan prince had tried to make her stay, but Goku stopped him. Since then, Vegeta was spiraling into a deep depression that seemed endless.
He took another long swig of from his liquor bottle. He smacked it down onto the table next to the sofa he reclined on.
His brother Tarble sat in the couch across from him. Tarble was Vegeta's little brother who had been sent to a planet of weaker inhabitants, but finally found his brother on planet Earth, accompanied by his new wife, Gure, who he and Vegeta renamed "Puff".
"Tarble, I made a grilled-cheese sandwich for you!" Gure called, holding a plate with a grilled cheese sandwich on it.
"I don't want any of that nasty shit, Puff!" Tarble screamed at Gure. "I fucking hate grilled cheese!"
Gure began to quietly weep.
"I'll take it." Vegeta said, holding a hand out. Gure, her expression softening, handed Vegeta the plate. Vegeta held the platter and smiled at Gure thankfully. Gure's smile widened to the opposite sides of her head.
Vegeta whipped the plate across the room and onto the wall, where it broke into pieces. The sandwich fell in a broken heap on the floor, leaving grease and cheese on the wall. Vegeta and Tarble broke out in laughter.
Tears streamed down her features as Gure ran away. She had buried her head in her hands and ran, making her run into a wall. Vegeta and Tarble's laughing increased, tears of their own marked their own faces. Gure got to her feet and ran the correct way down the hallway.
Vegeta and Tarble were wiping tears from their faces as Piccolo walked into the room from the same hall Gure had taken. The Namek looked at the two and assumed they had done something to make the small woman cry.
"Guys, you should stop being so disrespectful to that little person." Piccolo said, pointing down the hallway. "You hurt her feelings!"
"Shut up, Piccolo! You know that was funny as hell!" Tarble laughed, wiping the last of the tears from his face.
"Yeah, you guys should really stop being so mean!" Krillin said, entering the room as well.
"Oh yes, I'm going to take advice from someone who ate their own shit?" Vegeta laughed sarcastically. "Shut the hell up, dorky! You don't know what the fuck you're talking about. Now take your little bald-ass and just crawl out of here!" Vegeta scolded, drawing giggles from everyone, including Piccolo.
Krillin, no longer a very strong individual, buried his face in his hands in his hands and ran away, following Gure.
* * * * *
Goku and Bulma lay together in the apartment bed; Bulma slumped lazily over Goku's bare chest. They had just finished making love, and were preparing for round two.
Goku casually draped one muscled arm over Bulma's body. "Leaving Vegeta was the best thing that could have possibly happened." Goku said, moving closer.
"You're probably right." Bulma whispered, turning her head toward her new boyfriend. "I've never been so happy."
Bulma smiled and climbed on Goku's body. It was time for round two.
* * * * *
"We're out of dip." Piccolo confirmed, his head poked inside the refrigerator. He straightened.
"I'll go get some more…" Vegeta offered. He walked to the door, not waiting for any responses. He pushed the door open and marched into the grassy lawn of the Capsule Corporation Inc. The Saiyan prince exploded from the ground with a burst of gleaming energy. He soared through the sky toward the local market.
Life was boring now that Bulma wasn't around. He missed her, but didn't show it. He had too much pride to let somebody see such unmanly emotions. Vegeta hated Goku. He hated him for stealing his life. Goku had stolen his wife, damaged his pride beyond repair, and had severely surpassed him in both strength and speed.
Vegeta hated that fact. It all became painfully clear when Goku defeated Boo. No amount of training could ever close the gap between them; a warrior prince forever living in the shadow of a low-ranking clown. He had even sacrificed his own soul, becoming a slave for the evil Bobiddi, for a chance at beating him. Even that wasn't enough.
The saiyan prince flew in a wide arc, down toward the earth. That was the market. He landed down in the parking lot on his feet with a resounding thud, cracking and breaking the concrete beneath him.
He pushed open the glass doors and headed for the snack food isle. Vegeta found the dip on the shelf, surrounded by other snacks. He didn't know what kind the guys wanted. After a long moment of consideration, he grew irritated and simply took all of them, roughly stuffing them into a plastic bag.
The saiyan paid for the dips and left. He hurtled back into the sky and rocketed back to Capsule Corp.
* * * * *
Vegeta returned later, and on his coming he was greeted by the awaiting faces of Piccolo and Tarble.
"So where's the dip?" Tarble asked eagerly, holding a bag of rippled potato chips. "The game's started."
"I didn't know what kind you wanted so I took all of them." Vegeta explained, placing the bag of dip on a coffee table. Vegeta took a moment to register his surroundings. "Where's 'Puff'?"
"Ah, she's up on the roof with Krillin." Piccolo answered, pointing up one of his 3 fingers at the ceiling.
Vegeta looked upward.
The saiyan plunged up into the ceiling, coming up through the rooftop, interrupting a kiss of Krillin and Gure's. "What the fuck is this?" Vegeta's gruff voice demanded of the two tiny figures. "Not on my property you don't!"
"It's not fair!" Krillin cried. "Why can't you just leave us alone?" Krillin cried out weakly.
"You're the one who needs to leave me alone! You're on top of my house!" Vegeta retorted. "You're not welcome here!"
"Well…" Krillin began to protest, but realized the futility of it. "Come on, Puff..." Krillin said to the bald-headed figure.
The two flew off into the sky in search of a new home. Vegeta dropped back down into the house.
* * * * *
At Son Goku's house Chi-Chi was with some dude that she had met at the grocery store. Goku had been gone for months and she was lonely, so she turned to Dave, the grocery bagger.
They were on the couch doing it, while, unbeknownst to them, Goten watched from the stairs, amazed at what was happening.
* * * * *
"Hey, I've noticed…" Vegeta said after the game had ended. "Doesn't Krillin have a wife? What happened to #18?"
"Bah. She's at Kame house, screwing Roshi." Piccolo answered.
"Ah, that's disgusting! That Roshi is sickening!" Vegeta cried out in disgust.
"I know."
Vegeta shook his head. "I think I'll get a drink; you coming, Tarble?"
"Yeah, I could really use one."
"Piccolo?"
"No. I'll stay here. I have things to do." Piccolo said evenly.
The two saiyans headed out the door and flew to the nearest bar.
* * * * *
Piccolo thought that his life would be more meaningful if he had a child to raise . Trunks lived in an apartment now, and the Capsule Corp. building was free of children.
The Namek bent over and concentrated. His neck grew and pulsated. A huge egg spewed from his mouth, the cause of the growth, and when the egg was completely out, the neck reverted back to its normal size.
Namekians didn't have sex to have kids. They had eggs in their bodies that they could emit at will.
He picked it up and washed the fluids off it. The warrior Namekian set it down on the table wrapped in blankets. He would soon be a father.
* * * * *
Dark Vegeta and Lunch lay down on the sheets in Dark Vegeta's cave. They had had sex in the wilderness. He had enjoyed this activity and caressed her curved hip that was wrapped in the dirty sheet. He decided he should take some money from her sack and leave for town to buy a little something-something.
He rose from the sheets that lay down on the dirty cave floor and told her he would be back soon with something to eat.
* * * * *
After flying to the store and picking up a few items, a man in a jacket ran up to him and tried to take his money. The guy wasn't too skilled in martial arts and failed to hurt him. Dark Vegeta sent a soft fist at the man's chest. The man fell to the ground and writhed in agony.
From across the street, a man saw the spectacular show of strength and hurried to him. His name was Hercule.
He marched right over to the saiyan and shook his hand.
"Hey, I saw how to took that thief out like that. I like you. How would you like a job as a professional fighter? Great pay and you'll live a life of luxury."
"Yes, of course! I could use the money." Dark Vegeta replied.
"All right! You start tomorrow at 4:00 at the World Tournament Stadium." He gave Dark Vegeta a card with a phone number and told him to call if he had any questions.
He had a job! He hurried to his cave to tell his new girlfriend he met in the woods.
* * * * *
Vegeta took another gulp of his drink and slapped it down on the counter and asked for another. He turned to his brother.
"I mish her sho mush…" Vegeta stammered, his eyes narrowed as if he were tired. "Why did she leave me…?" Vegeta asked more to himself than to Tarble.
"Ah, forget about her…There'sh plenty of fisheses left in the shea…" Tarble said, putting a comforting, albeit shaky hand on Vegeta's shoulder.
"She left me for that bastard, Kakarrot…hic!" Vegeta said angrily, slamming a fist down on the table. "I don't think I can live without her."
A young man with lavender hair overheard the conversation from behind him and turned around. He stood up and walked to the table.
"Hey, I hear you guy's are down on your luck, eh?" The youth asked, putting his hands on both their shoulders.
"Yeah, my wife left me…" Vegeta explained.
"Eh, it's rough out there…" Future-Trunks said, looking ahead dramatically.
"Yep," Tarble mumbled, looking down at his glass bottle of beer.
"I have something that'll get that off your mind." Trunks said, opening his jacket. His eyes darted from side to side in search of anyone who might notice. He quickly reached in and produced a sandwich bag filled with weed.
"No." Vegeta stated flatly. "I'm not an idiot."
"Whatever…faggot."
"Damn Kakarrot…" Vegeta mumbled, turning back to his drink.
"Let'sh find him." Tarble stammered, turning to Vegeta. "We'll show him to take your wife!"
"Yesss. That bastard, Kakarrot will regret the day he shtole Bulma from me." He said, rising.
The two paid for their drinks and started out on their quest to find and beat Goku. The three walked down the street for a few minutes.
"Where the hell do they live now?" Vegeta finally asked.
"…I think they live in that apartment building." Trunks said, pointing to the conveniently located structure.
The group went inside and asked where they might find 'Son Goku'. After a few tries, he finally responded to 'Bulma'.
Room 270.
They all got inside the elevator.
"Hey, you think we should say something cool? I mean, after we kick his ass?" Trunks asked, excited about the impending encounter.
"Hmm…" Vegeta said, putting a fist under his chin.
"Merry Christmas?" Tarble offered.
"Yeah, that's awesome." Trunks said, nodding.
The three found room 270 and knocked on the door. The answer came shortly.
"Yes? Who is it?" The voice of Son Goku called from the other side.
"Err, Room service!"Vegeta said in a ridiculously high voice.
"Okay, just a sec." Goku said. The sounds of the door unlocking could be heard. The door opened.
"Merry Christmas!" Trunks blurted loudly, a bit too early.
"What—what is this?" Goku demanded.
"We're going to kick your ass!" Vegeta answered, pulling a fist back.
"Vegeta!" Goku groaned in disappointment, not at all in fear. "How do you know where I live?"
"Trunks told me." Vegeta told him dramatically before he finally launched the punch, which Vegeta thought would send Goku crashing to the ground. Goku dodged the hit easily and grabbed Vegeta and bashed him into the wall. Vegeta fell hard. He lay there, defeated and embarrassed. Bulma came into the room.
"Vegeta," Bulma gasped. "What are you doing here?"
"I'm going to kick Kakarrot's ass!" He started to rise, his determination renewing.
"No, Vegeta! You leave here this instant!" Bulma screamed at him.
Vegeta looked at her, and then to Goku. Then he looked away.
"Vegeta, she doesn't want to see you anymore. You should leave."
"Why?"
"Vegeta, you were an asshole. She couldn't take your bullshit anymore and decided to leave with me. It's too late to redeem yourself now, Vegeta. Leave." Goku commanded firmly.
Vegeta stood up and took one more look at his wife.
He turned and left the room.
"Come on, fellas…" Vegeta said quietly. They followed, leaving behind Son Goku and Bulma.
* * * * *
The next morning, Goku and Bulma were sitting down in a local Denny's eating breakfast. All was peaceful until Vegeta came bursting through the doors.
The form of Vegeta pushed the doors open with a drunken posture and a garbled shout. He moved to an open booth in a serpentine maneuver. He slumped down on it and waited. Goku saw Bulma watching him solemnly.
"Just ignore him." Goku said.
Soon a waitress came to Vegeta's booth.
"What do you want this morning?" The waitress asked with a wide smile.
"A bunch o' fucking pancakes…," Vegeta said, looking up from an empty space on the table, up to the waitress. "With strawberry topping and shit,"
"I can't ignore him." Bulma whispered. "He's being too obnoxious."
"Just ignore him—just ignore him."
Vegeta noticed Bulma and Goku in the booth from across the establishment. "Bulma!" Vegeta cried, looking her way.
She ignored him.
"Bulma!" Vegeta shouted again, waving his hand high, trying to get her attention.
She still ignored him.
"Damn it, Bulma!" Vegeta shouted.
Vegeta stood up and stumbled his way to her table. Goku was there, glaring at him.
"Well, what a coincidence…" Vegeta began with a burp. "Two little lovebirds are… having their little breakfast…"
"You better not mess with our breakfast, Vegeta, you got that?"
"Maybe… I should mess with your face a little bit." Vegeta said, pointing a finger in Goku's face. "You got that?"
Goku stood up and put up his fists.
"You want some of this?" Vegeta threatened, putting his own fists in front of him.
"Yeah," Goku provoked, unafraid.
"Welcome to the 'Vegeta's world of pain'—full of fists…and fighting!"
"Stop it, you two!" Bulma quietly shouted.
"Let's go, Bulma." Goku said, going to the counter to pay for their meal. They paid for their food at the counter and before they left, Bulma shot him an angry glance.
Vegeta looked down at his feet. How he had just embarrassed himself! He slowly returned to his table. He slumped back down in his seat and waited for his breakfast. He wasn't so hungry anymore.
* * * * *
Trunks walked up to the Capsule Corporation House door. He knocked on the door three times and waited.
No answer.
"Vegeta!" Trunks called.
No answer.
He began calling out names. "Tarble!...Piccolo!...Krillin!"
"Yeah?" Krillin said from the bushes next to the door.
"Aha! I knew someone was here!" Trunks said.
"Oh no!" Krillin cried, realizing he had been discovered on account of his own foolishness. He rose from the bushes, dirty and fetid, followed by the rise of Gure.
"What're you doing in the bushes, Krillin?" Trunks asked curiously.
"We're homeless." Krillin admitted. "I was kicked out of Kame House and Capsule Corp. I have nowhere to go."
"Well, you guys can stay with me." Trunks offered.
"Really? You mean it?" Krillin cried excitedly.
"Sure thing; you just gotta clean up, first. Don't want you stinking up the place."
The two knee-height people cheered at their good fortune. They hurriedly ran to the youth's legs and hugged them tightly.
Trunks smiled uncomfortably and pulled his legs away from the two. How happy the little people were! Trunks motioned for the two to follow him into the sky and to his home.
The three flew to the apartment building that served as Trunk's home. They walked through the building looking for the room.
On the way, they came upon Room 270.
* * * * *
Crouched down by the door, was the figure of a wailing Vegeta.
"Bulma," Vegeta screamed over and over. "Come back to me! Please! I'll change! I'll be who you want me to be!" Vegeta pleaded futilely. The saiyan prince sprawled down onto the floor, wailing and screaming.
* * * * *
"Go on, Bulma. He's being ridiculous. Go ahead and go back to him. We can still see each other secretly." Goku said, putting a hand on Bulma's shoulder. From outside, the pitiful wails of Vegeta could be heard.
"But Goku…I'm scared. He's a jerk. I want to stay with you!" Bulma whispered.
"It's okay. You go now; I'll come and see you sometimes."
"Fine," Bulma said. She summoned her courage and opened the door.
* * * * *
The door creaked open. Vegeta looked up in both fear and hope; Hoping that Bulma might actually come back to him, and fearing Goku might come out and beat the hell out of him and chase him out of town.
The form of Bulma came through the door. She extended an arm out to her prince. "Yes, Vegeta; I'll take you back."
Vegeta's eyes widened in astonishment. He hadn't truly expected Bulma to take him back. He even questioned the wisdom of even going, but his efforts proved successful today. He got to his feet, his hands trembling.
He gave her a hug, which she accepted. Vegeta was speechless. All he could do was smile and hold her. He stepped back from her, still smiling.
He laughed loudly. That was the only thing he could do to express his joy. He took her hands and laughed again.
"Get your things from that room and come to the house!" Vegeta cried to her before gleefully running and jumping through an open window at the end of the hallway. He flew through the air and in the clouds. The prince flew in wide circles, laughing and screaming his delight.
"This is the happiest day of my life!" Vegeta roared, soaring down into the city toward Capsule Corp.
* * * * *
Trunks, Krillin, and Gure got to Trunk's door.
Room 301.
Trunks put his key in the lock and turned it sideways, activating the tumblers, thus opening the door.
The three moved into the cluttered room. Dirty clothes and half-eaten food lay strewn about the area. The room smelled of smoke. Trunks took a step forward and took a deep breath.
"It ain't much; it's all I can afford selling weed." Trunks explained.
"Where do we sleep?" Krillin asked, looking up at Trunks.
"Uh, you guys can sleep on the couch. You two could both fit, right?" Trunks laughed. "I'll order us some pizza. You guys make yourselves at home."
Krillin and Gure sat down on the dirty couch. Krillin looked around the messy room nervously. He spied a bong on the coffee table.
He looked down at his feet. He had a home, but with a junkie? He didn't know about that.
What will become of Krillin and Gure in the apartment with Trunks? Will Bulma's deception pay off? Will Dark Vegeta win his first match at the World Tournament? When will Broly appear? Find out on the next exciting chapter of:
Dragonball C
