Loss
A unilluminated azure suffused every part of the cemetery. As a sorrowing widowed gentleman knelt beside an vandalized grave of a beloved partner. The day they parted,was the day they joined in holy matrimony. His freezing hand felt the darkened greenish colored grass,which surrounded his deceased partners final resting place. Plenty of unwanted, emotional strained tears came steaming from the depths of his blue colored scarred eyes. His emotional, figurative heart was shattering into more than a dozen pieces at the thought he was never going to be able to lay eyes on his beloved husband again. Not in this lifetime anyway. Possibly not in another lifetime, it's just fiction. Fiction he wish was true.
An emotional artificial shiver ran up his back, almost like someone slid their finger up his back. The shiver did not physically exist but in his broken downed mind, it existed as much as his visible hand before him. He felt a hand go on his shoulder,he almost gasped in fear however the smothering voice stopped the release of the ghastly voice projection that many project as soon as they are afraid.
Tony Hutchinson, the smothering voice belonged to. Tony was present in this late hour,because he was visiting his deceased beloved daughter Grace Hutchinson's grave. Tony collided his hands together, collaborating them together more. It was eleven at night after all, Tony expected to be alone. He did not expect to have to comfort somebody outside in the graveyard. Especially somebody who usually looks happy and full of life on the outside.
Tony breathed,before speaking. He was struggling to find the words.
"Are you okay?" he asked, as a last overused resort. It was a foolish question to ask, of cause the distressed man was not. He just lost the love of his life. He waited for an answer none the less.
"Yeah, thanks Tone" Steven Hay, replied so serious,yet he said it so you know it wasn't true. You knew it was a false answer, you knew that he was bottling up all his feelings.
"Do you want me to call somebody for you?" Tony then asked, he was desperate to call somebody who knows him a bit better,someone who could help him through his grief. Tony knew he wasn't the person who could make that goal. At times like this; it seemed unreachable.
"No phone calls" Steven replied,making the situation even more difficult than it already appeared to be.
"Well, staying out here is not going to do you any good" Tony reminded him,like that would work anyway. It was one of the worst possible things to say when your trying to help somebody. Of cause they know that,there not staying out here because they think its good for their health.
"I know,but being inside will not make me feel any better inside" Steven turned towards him,almost protecting the grave as he refused to let Tony come any further.
"I know mate, I know" Tony said,with a sigh. He really didn't,but what else what he meant to say to him,when he was almost determined not to do as he is told. His stubbornness was politically the reason for his determination not to do as requested,even when he knows its best.
"How do you cope?" Steven asked, he brought Tony to a dead-end. His previous reply was untrue, and he did not know how to emotionally lie to him,he was not a very sensitive person,nor was he was smart enough to make up a feeling of emotion.
"You forget,but you don't forgive" Tony said,now trying to explain his grief for his daughter. His and Stevens loss may be wired different,but they both lost a loved one no matter how different the love was, love is love after all.
"Forgive?" Steven asked,confused.
"You can forget how they died,you can forget how you felt the moment it happened,but you can't forgive who ever took them away from you" Tony was not a religious person,however he still believed some sort of force took away people's life's.
"Tony, I can't cope" Steven sniffed, as he stood up.
"Ste come back to mine;Holly and Cindy wont mind" Tony told him,as he felt he could not leave him there after their conservation.
"Thanks" Ste meekly replied,not bothering debating with Tony. He was too exhausted for that.
"We got to be quite though;Holly and Cindy need their beauty sleep" he said, making quotation marks with his two fingers when he said beauty sleep.
Steven walked with him,as they walked through the village, nobody is in sight. As all the villagers sleep peacefully in their homes. After around five minutes of walking,his house appeared. With Tony slowly unlocking his door.
So he did not awaken Holly and Cindy,who returned home after they admitted they could not live on top of that shop. Too cold and noisy were Cindy's exact words.
"You can sleep on the sofa" Tony told him,there were two bedrooms in the house. One of the rooms had a double bed,which now Tony slept alone in, the other one had two bunk beds which Holly and Cindy now sleep in.
"Thank you" Steven breaths,looking at Tony with a grateful look.
"I go and get you a blanket,and a pillow" Tony said,with a small smile.
Steven sat on the familiar sofa,looking across the living room. He shivers slightly,as he holds himself The emotional pain returns. Tony returns,holding a blanket and a pillow.
"You can take your shoes and jacket of Ste, I,m not expecting you to sleep like that" Tony says,making Ste smile for just about two seconds. No more,no less.
Ste slides out of his shoes,and removes his jacket passing it to Tony who hangs it up. Tony walks back over,putting Stevens shoes on the shoe rack next to Cindy's.
"Have you told Amy yet Ste?" Tony asked,now able to talk to him better and not be so cautious to how he replies.
"Course" Steven replied.
"Is she coming?" he then asked,he thought Amy may be able to help him.
"Yeah,she said she is coming with Leah and Lucas,so that be great I cant wait to see them" Ste said,he missed his children even more now. They were the apple of his eye, he regrets letting them go. He thought he should have fought harder,talk to Amy calmer instead of fighting with her like it was 2006. They were not teenagers anymore,it was time to grow up.
"Yeah,I bet they miss their daddy" Tony smiled,before standing up.
"Night then Tone" Ste said,putting his body across the couch,as he wrapped the sheets around himself more.
"Night Ste" Tony then replied,as he walked into his bedroom. He felt sorry for him,he was only young,just after his wedding it all goes to tatters. His wedding with Douglass Carter,was not as heartbreaking as his wedding with Brendan Brady.
His wedding to Douglass Carter,was based on wanting to be loved and wanting to be wanted itself. However his wedding to Brendan Brady was based on love one hundred percent,not to mention how special it was. Then Simon Walker, had to go and destroy it all. Not just the wedding,but his whole life.
Steven sniffed,as he tried to fall in a deep sleep. He thought about Brendan every night,however dreams about Brendan were never dreamt,or even acknowledged. Steven held the blanket.
His eyelid closed,as he went into a deep sleep.
Steven Hay,was awoken by the sound of the kettle beeping and a girls moaning voice.
"I told you mum, I swear to God I forgot about the after school detention" Holly groaned,Ste put his back against the sofa. Putting his hand on top of his head, as he yawned.
"In fact, I,m going out" Holly continued.
"Where?" Cindy asked.
"Just out" Holly replied, holding her jacket in her arm as she slammed the door behind herself, Cindy shook her head.
"Hey Ste, you okay?" Cindy asked, sitting on the chair that was meters away from the sofa.
"Sorry Cindy,I get out your hair" Ste said, sitting up feeling a bit tired as he rubbed his eyes.
"Ste,do you want a brew?" Tony asked,as he entered the kitchen.
"Oh its okay,I think I head out now" Ste said,in a grateful tone.
"Alright,going to work eh?" Tony asked.
"Yeah,Doug will be there anyway" Ste said,as he stood up.
"Not getting dressed?" Tony asked.
"I change when I get to the deli" Ste yawned.
"Hmm, Ste how is Chez?" Cindy asked him, she has not seen her friend since Brendan got shot by the notorious Simon Walker.
"She is okay, Seamus is looking after her" Ste hated when he uttered the word Seamus,it was a mystery how that horrible man outlived his precious Brendan. Its too cruel. Brendan was finally living his life happily enough that he was fine, not completely. Because of his fathers ghastly presence. He would never get over that, it was unforgivable.
Steven put on his jacket,putting on his shoes.
"Bye" he said,before leaving the house and walking out. As soon as the fresh air hit his face,he felt cold. His hands went all numb. His lips turned light crimson. His eyes searched across,to where he saw a familiar face.
It was Anne Minniver,she walked over. She was actually physically crying,she recently heard about Brendan, she had to come. Steven put his arms around her,as she wept in his shoulder. He was just silent,comforting her despite being more distressed.
They broke away,after three minutes. Anne then faked a smile,as she wiped tears away with her hand.
"Oh Ste,look at me crying you're the one who lost your husband" Anne sniffed,as she thought of Riley Costello,she knew how Ste was feeling. She also lost the love of her life. Who was also killed by the same man,in the same way.
"Its okay" he cried.
"I know when people say I know how you feel they don't mean it;but Ste I really know how you feel" she said with just devastation in her crackled voice.
