The Many Ramblings of
Captain Jack Sparrow's Hat
Disclaimer: I do not own Pirates
of the Caribbean or the characters of Pirates of the Caribbean.
Neither do I own Captain Jack Sparrow or his hat, which I wish I
did.
-- Chapter 1 – How Jack Found Me--
My
owner died today.
Well, technically, he didn't die
TODAY...he died a good number of years ago, but I remember it like it
was today.
That was just a line to capture your attention. I
hope it did.
But I digress.
As I was saying, my owner,
or former owner to be more precise seeing that he's dead, was
killed by a man by the name of Jack Sparrow, now known as Captain
Jack Sparrow of the Black Pearl. But I'll get to that
later.
First, I'll tell you how my former owner died.
His
name was Captain Nudix, and he was as much a eunuch as his name
implies. A coward too.
How he became a captain, no one
knows.
All I know is that he was an arrogant, cowardly captain
with a crew to match his idiocy.
Now you must remember that a
person with too much arrogance leads to the destruction of said
arrogant person.
So when the Black Pearl came along in all
it's glory, Captain Nudix obviously ordered that the crew stay and
fight, believing some stupid thought that there was a possibility
that Nudix and his crew might win.
I never said the name of
Nudix's ship, did I? Well, it was called the Mongoose. Now if
THAT'S not a wussy name, I don't know what is.
Back to the
story The crew of the Mongoose, being as idiotic and cowardly as they
were, fought back rashly and without experience. After the
ridiculously short fight, the Mongoose and its passengers were
subdued and relieved of their treasure and goods. Only ten remained,
and to my amazement, one of them was my owner, the captain.
And
so, being humiliated and his pride bruised, he did the stupidest most
cowardly thing a pirate could do. He attacked the captain of the
Pearl from behind, or actually, he just threw a dagger at his back.
Which of course missed.
"COWARD!" yelled all of the
crewmembers.
But the captain of the Pearl just smiled and
called, "Sparrow!" "Aye, captain?" Sparrow replied. "Teach
this...man how to fight like a man." "With pleasure." Sparrow
said, and with contempt marking in every feature of his face for my
owner, unsheathing his sword and coming forward.
The captain
of the Pearl then said to my owner, "Well, Captain...Nudix was it?
Let's see how you render against our...newest
crewmember."
Well...the fight that ensued is hardly worth
encountering, and it is needless to say that Jack rose victorious.
Captain Nudix was fallen on the deck, lying cold and dead. With me on
his head...but not for long.
See, pirates have a code of
honor, and they say that a pirate captain must die an honorable death
with no belongings taken from him, and a proper burial at sea.
But,
you see, cowards deserve no honor.
So Jack Sparrow swiped me
off Nudix's head and placed me on his own, saying, "Good day"
and waltzed off the ship onto the Pearl, where the crew was getting
ready to departure.
Me? I was in a state of shock.
I'm
not complaining or anything, seeing that my former master had the
greasiest hair in the Spanish Main, but it's a surprise to see your
former owner die, with you on his head, hit the floor, and then get
picked up and placed on a stranger's head.
The stranger's
head having a red bandana upon many bumpy dreadlocks, something you
have to get used to.
Back then he didn't have beads and
trinkets in his hair.
Back then he was but a crewmember of the
Black Pearl who had the honor to kill a cowardly captain who didn't
deserve his place in the pirate world, and for this action he
received a reward.
Me.
--End Chapter 1
--
Well? Wutdya think? It came to me like at
night...so I wus ritin at like 11:00. o wellz...I like it. I promise
to update if I get reviews.
