Written for the prompt "Derek professes his undying love to someone (I was thinking casey but it could be emily or who ever) but they take it as a joke/prank." by SakurInTheWind.
Disclaimer: Life With Derek doesn't belong to me :(
"Casey I..." He stopped and looked in the mirror. "Case I have..." He started over. "Princess... Crap!" He stood up and grasped his aching head. How the hell was he meant to say it to her if he couldn't even say it to himself? He tried again. "Casey I have f-f-f..." Nearly there. "F-f-feelings... For you." He breathed out. Now if he could only manage it without the stammering; there was no way he was embarrassing himself more than he needed to.
He thought back to his conversation with Sally earlier and how she had reacted when he refused a make-out session to wait and watch Casey freak out over the skirt he'd sabotaged. It had been way too short.
She'd pouted and demanded to know if he really loved her. And what was he meant to say to that, really? And anyway, who asks that after only... He cringed as he realised he'd forgotten how long they'd been together. Was she really expecting him, Derek Venturi, to have a sissy chat about how he felt about her? Well, too bad 'cause he didn't do that, and he thought she knew that.
The only reason he was practising saying it to Casey was because... Well, because. And he wasn't planning on saying he loved her. He wasn't even sure he was going to go through with it.
Sally had told him that if he couldn't say he loved her then that was it. He'd said okay. He hadn't meant to, but at the precise moment Casey had screamed his name, obviously having found the skirt.
Sally had been angry. Very angry. Is that all you're going to say? Just okay? Her words still rang in his memory. He'd apologised and told her he'd just been distracted by Casey. And that's when it had happened. If Casey is so damn distracting from your own girlfriend then maybe you should go out with her instead. She'd meant it sarcastically, expecting a quick laugh and for him to back down and say he loved her. She hadn't been too impressed when he'd stayed silent. She'd told him then that she was leaving and not to call her. And he hadn't.
He dropped onto his bed. He'd always known he felt something for Casey, of course he had! But he convinced himself that she was more trouble than she was worth and that they were too opposite to make each other happy. That she was too much of a pain in the ass. Not to mention, the idea of telling her had him running for the hills, metaphorically speaking. But after what happened with Sally, the only girl he'd ever really seen any kind of future with, he'd known he wouldn't be able to get her out of his head and that the stupid lump of muscle in his chest which he wished didn't exist wouldn't let him have anything with anyone else. It was Casey or no one. And hey, maybe if he told her then he could either take the rejection and move on, or get her the hell out of his system.
His door swung open.
"I heard about what happened with Sally, wanna talk about it?" Casey asked sympathetically.
He looked at her like she was from another planet; whether in the out of this world sense or the crazy sense was open to interpretation.
"Fine, I'll get out of your room and leave you to your self-destructive internalizing. Don't come to me when you crack and cause yourself a mental break down." She stormed back out.
He sighed and let his head return to its place on the bed. This wasn't going to be easy.
"So, D-Rock's rehearsing tonight, you guys gonna be around?" He asked his assembled family as they ate dinner. He was really only interested in one person's answer but he wasn't going to single her out like that. Not yet.
Everyone said they were free and would love to sit in apart from Marti, who sulked because she was visiting their Mom that night, and Casey who complained that yet again he hadn't asked her to rejoin the band.
"Chilz, it's just a small rehearsal session. We wanted to test out some cover songs and stuff, and we need an audience." He avoided her eyes.
"What songs?" She demanded to know.
"Just some stuff we like." He evaded.
"Like what?"
"Like stuff!" He responded, exasperated.
"So who's singing? Is it Sally?" Her voice was bitter. "What, you got her back by letting her replace me?"
"No! It's me, I'm singing!" He regretted telling her as soon as the words left his mouth.
She snorted. "Yeah right."
"Casey..." Nora warned.
"What? He can't sing, it's a well established fact." Casey looked him up and down with derision. "He wouldn't even sing that song he wrote to Sally."
"I've been practising!" He defended. And he had. After that incident on open mic night Sally had insisted on giving him singing lessons so next time he could actually sing to her himself.
"Contrary to popular belief, practise does not always make perfect." Casey shot back.
He could feel his anger rising. "And you'd know all about that, wouldn't you Princess? Remind me, how much practice did it take for you to fail at making friends?"
"Derek..." His dad's tone matched Nora's.
"I have plenty of friends!" Casey pretty much yelled.
"Name five. And ex boyfriends don't count." He challenged.
"Emily, Lucy, Noel, Ralph-"
"Ralph is my friend!"
"So?"
"So stick to your own damn friends!"
"He's my friend too!"
"Enough!" George nearly shouted. "Derek, apologise to Casey."
Derek sneered. "I'm sorry you have no friends, Case."
"Der-ek!"
He just glowered at her. He was seriously reconsidering telling her in any way, shape or form.
The practice session was just phase one, to get her all romanced up, because the band was pretty much as romantic as he got. Aside from that utterly humiliating mental episode when he'd convinced himself to try so he could go out with Sally.
He sang every romantic song he could that didn't stick in his throat and leave him wanting to watch hours of sports to restore his testosterone levels (which admittedly wasn't many), but he had a feeling it backfired when Casey asked if he was planning on singing them at Smelly Nellie's any time soon. She said it with this pitying, knowing smile on her face that made him frustrated because it was so obviously aimed at his recent break-up. She thought he was practicing to win Sally back.
On to phase two. A subtle change in his teasing. At least he hoped he could pull off subtle. And he sure as hell hoped this wouldn't backfire, 'cause it was pretty much as far as he'd got in the whole planning thing.
His opportunity came next time she told him it was his turn to do the dishes. With a careful measure of sarcasm, he replied, "Yes dear."
If anyone found it odd they didn't say anything. Casey looked sharply at him, blinked, then looked away, as if shaking off a confusing thought.
He smirked. So far so good.
After that he took every opportunity to call her 'dear' or 'darling' in a sarcastic tone whenever she told him to do one of his chores or anything similarly domestic. After the third time she just got that annoyed look on her face that she always got when he called her by the nicknames he had for her. It seemed that it hadn't struck her that he was calling her typically marital nicknames when they did things typical married couples do. He wasn't saying he wanted to marry her; come on, a part of him was still hoping for a quick get it out of the system or a sharp but freeing rejection. Even the part of him that wanted more got a little freaked at the prospect of tying himself to his clumsy little neat-freak forever. But he was trying to reaffirm something that most of the family seemed to have forgotten; that she was not his sister. That they were more like an old married couple than bickering siblings.
But no; clever Casey decided to remain stupid and stubborn.
He was working the end shift at Smelly Nellie's when it happened.
Sally approached him. After a week of avoiding him, she came over and decided to 'forgive' him, just naturally assuming he'd crawl back to her once she broke the ice.
He honestly wanted to know what had given her the impression that he wanted her back, so he asked her. It was a dickish thing to ask, but he asked. Better than doing it twice, whatever it was he'd done.
She looked confused at that; she had expected him to answer with 'I'm sorry' or 'thank you'. But then she should have known better. "Casey said you've been moping all week, acting wierd and singing love songs." She explained.
Derek didn't know whether to be more amused or angry. That Casey had mistaken the effects of his f-f-feelings for her as f-f-feelings for Sally and convinced Sally to take him back held a bitter irony that he appreciated; but then having the object of his... whatever sabotage his attempts at charming her by setting him up with his ex was so... So typical of Casey.
He just about managed an 'I think it's best we go back to being friends' speech before storming out of the restaurant and driving home.
He found her dancing in her room, and even with his frustration he took a moment to watch her move. Damn, that girl could move her hips. Then he snapped his eyes back into a glare. "What the hell did you tell Sally?"
"Der-ek! Knock before you come barging into my room!"
"You do it to me all the time! Now answer the question, 'cause she seemed to be under the impression I wanted her back!" His face was furious, brooking no argument.
"And? You've been sulking since the day she dumped your sorry butt." She glared challengingly.
"So you did talk to her!" He hadn't really doubted it, but she had to admit it before he could properly yell at her for it.
"Yeah, I did. Because you know what? In spite of my better judgement I actually care when you're upset. And don't you deny that you were! Someone had to do something before your masochistic stubbornness got out of hand." She jutted her chin up and silently dared him to be mad at her. Well, he was never one to back down from a dare.
"Why can't you just mind your own business?" He shouted.
"Excuse me?" She said, incredulity and anger vying for place in her voice.
"I don't want Sally back, okay? I was actually kinda relieved we broke up, and that I wasn't the one doing the dumping for once. But no, perfect little Casey can't leave well alone, so I had to face Sally today and and turn her down. Something I wouldn't have had to do if you'd let me live my own God damn life!" He ranted, watching the shock and slight guilt appear on Casey's face before she layered them under fury.
"And maybe if you talked to me when I asked if you were ok then I wouldn't have needed to intervene! Don't try laying this on me when it's your own refusal to let anyone in that landed you here; I was just trying to help!"
They were both silent for a moment, glowering and fighting back the hurtful things they would feel too bad about if they said.
Casey shifted, breathing out and trying to calm down. "So if you didn't want her back then why were you upset?"
He had watched with interest as her body relaxed, and now felt his own go tenser than it already had been. "I wasn't upset."
She snorted. "Yeah, right. You've had so many mood swings, my PMS is thrown."
"PM what now?" He asked confusedly.
"PMS. Pre-Menstrual-Syndrome." She explained with an eye roll.
"I knew you had some kind of syndrome." He muttered angrily.
"Why can't you just tell me what's wrong for a change?" Her exasperation bled through into her face and voice, making him feel guilty for like a tenth of a second.
"Why should I? It's got nothing to do-" The lie caught in his throat, something that very rarely happened to him.
"Just tell me! Is it hockey? School? Did you have a fight with Sam? What is it?"She badgered.
"Just leave it alone!" He was on the verge of begging; he wasn't ready to tell her yet.
"No!"
"You really wanna know?" He stepped forward and she took an involuntary step back.
"Yes!" She pulled herself up straighter to compensate for the step.
"It's you. I'm in l-love with you." He said as calmly as possible, hoping that his slight stumble on the 'L' word had gone unnoticed. He was hoping he could shock into silence. Actually, he wasn't really sure what he was hoping; he'd made the decision to tell her too quickly to think about it. But he knew he wasn't expecting the unamused glare she shot at him.
"Seriously Derek, what's wrong?" She'd folded her arms when he'd revealed his secret, something he found inexplicably hot.
He licked his lips. "I told you, I'm in... You know." It was hard enough to say the first time, a second time was pushing it too far.
"Fine, I get it. It's none of my business. Who am I to question the mighty Derek Venturi?" She said dramatically, sarcasm dripping from her every syllable. "Just stop moping and get over it, whatever it is. I'm sick of seeing your sorry face sulking all the time." She stormed past him and held the door, a clear indication for him to leave.
It was with great confusion that he headed back to his room. Well, that hadn't gone how he'd expected.
