A/n I know, I know, why haven't I updated any of my stories? Well… there is a perfect explanation for that.

*Thinks for a moment*

Eh… I got nothing. But-but I do have a small story that might peak your interest, (that is if you're interested) it's just small PoxViper fanfic for those who enjoy the pairing. Because c'mon, how many PoxTigress stories does it take to make the entire Kung fu Panda archive unbalanced?

Enjoy!


"To Touch a Woman's Emotions"


The art of the precision demands skill, patience, and most of all, food… wait food? Hang on a minute. The art of being precise, yadda, yadda, yadda having patience, blah, blah, bah… and most of all food.

Well, this is quite embarrassing. Hang on let me get my Zhú shuā from the other room.

*Interlude*

"Tigress, Tigress come over here Tigress, you're gonna miss it Tigress." The Panda went on and on squealing her name out in glee as he stood over the wood stove preparing Miàntiáo jīngxǐ, or noodle surprise, to feed the entire Jade Palace. But this time instead of adding vegetable slices to his father's pride and joy, Po added something distinctly different, get ready for it… he added vegetable cubes!

Oh the look on the Tigress said it all, that raw emotion of her eyes squinting ever so heavy, complemented by the fact that her eyebrows stood in a slanted, downward direction, not to mention that her claws were retracted, and oh-

She stared at Po very... uneasy, only now did Po understood not to disturb Tigress' pre-dinner meditation. It makes a Tiger very hungry, and not just for vegetables only…

"O-kay then, heh heh, why don't we just get dinner served now." Nervous out of his mind the panda began to break a sweat. He dashed across to the other side of the kitchen with tremendous speed to fetch the fine china to serve the Miàntiáo jīngxǐ.

"Yeah, you better run you delicious slab a meat," Tigress muttered ever so silently under her breath.

Po grabbed seven plates from the cabinet, flinging them on to the table with great precision and accuracy.

The panda leaped in the air from one side of the room to the other near the wood stove where he picked up the wooden ladle and ran back and forth from the table to the stove, continuously filling each of the seven bowls.

He did this until each and every bowl was completely filled with his father's yellow, delicious liquid. Okay then, that may have been spoken out of context.

"Order up," Po yelled to alert the rest of the Five that dinner was ready. Shortly afterwards Crane, Mantis, Viper, and Monkey all came rushing at the table to feast on their dinner, lest Po would intervene and devour it all.

The Masters sat and enjoyed the meal in front of them with gratitude, all of them thankful to be able to eat another dish. The men, being the boys they were stuffed their mouths heavily with the cubed veggies and liquid gold without any type mannerism what so ever, leaving the ladies to shudder in fear at their disgusting display of what they believed to be "eating".

All expect for Po, which he now masked his large burps over his hand, it was… an improvement.

Tigress picked up her chopsticks with the left hand, positioning the tool between her index and middle finger, right below her pulmonary area. Etiquette was everything to a Master's lifestyle, perfection is key to enlightenment.

Viper ate differently than the others; she preferred to pray at the table for good fortune and balance for everyone's chi as well as her own. She never did speak her prays out loud, nor have the other Masters ever snuck an excerpt from her orison. If anything there was probably only one soul at the table aware of whom Viper was actually praying for everyday during dinner time. The focus she'd put into her prayers every dinner reminder the Tigress of her own concentrating rituals, added the fact that Viper had an extreme devotion and unconditional admiration for the Dragon Warrior kind of paints a picture for itself.

She couldn't hide it… Every dinner night the snake would close her eyes and drift off seemingly with a large grin on her lips. Probably thinking about the Dragon Warrior again, wishing him great fortune in all his battles. Pathetic, Tigress thought. How a person could worship another blatantly, without having any regard for your own self. This just didn't fly with Tigress, admiration was one thing, but a constant obsession for the panda wasn't good for her closest friend.

After Viper was done with her prayer, she calmly picked up her chopsticks and began eating nonchalant as if nothing happened.

It was considered rude to stare while others ate at the table, Tigress knew that, but she seemingly had a bad habit of glancing back and forth at her snake friend. She couldn't help it. The way Viper swayed her tail to move the chopsticks about was oddly fascinating and bought out the Tigress' feline instincts every time she would dip the chopsticks into the Miàntiáo jīngxǐ. There was just something hypnotic about it…

"Finished!" Monkey jumped on the table top raising the bowl over his head, basking at his own personal victory of out eating everyone else.

"In your face Dragon Warrior," he ended with a large belch followed by the rudeness of not pardoning himself. What an animal…

Po choked on noodles, trying desperately to sound out a retort. He finally downed the remainder of those pesky noodles only to gasp out the next few words. "Mon… Monkey… Y-you may have won the battle… But the war, whew—the war has yet to be won."

"Pfft, whatever, I still won." The primate put on a rather stupid looking smile on his face, closing his eyes and sticking out his tongue like a four-year old. What was this pre-k?

Monkey tossed his dish to the side of the table and walked out of the kitchen as if nothing happened.

The rest of the Five watched with little amusement.

"Childish, isn't it." Tigress broke the silence. She picked up her perfectly folded napkin from the table and dabbed the sides of her mouth.

"Well… I don't know if you call it babyish for a grown ape to be standing on the table yelling, and-"

Tigress placed her hand up, effectively silencing the bird. "I didn't say it was babyish for a grown simian to be on top of the table, I said it was childish. Next time get your wording correct."

Crane blushed in embarrassment; he tried to tilt his hat over his face to hide his shame for being ousted by Tigress.

By this point Po was staring off into space, completely oblivious of what happened in the last three minutes. He thought about an earlier time in the day, when Master Shifu began teaching him about the art of precision.

Viper took her face away from her meal and placed her chopsticks neatly to the side. She looked over to Po with a friendly smile, even though he had far been lost inside another world of his own.

Again with the gestures, Tigress rolled her eyes at this. The hot-headed female picked up on all of the little movements, even a small twitch, but these subtle acts of flirtation really got under her fur. The Furious Five couldn't act as a team skilled Kung fu Masters if they were blocked by teensy emotions like little school girl crushes. It was unacceptable, Tigress would never put up with it.

"Please excuse I must go," Viper warned the remaining three at the table as slithered across and out of the kitchen.

"Floozy," Tigress murmured.

*Interlude*

After all had eaten and the noodle soup had been devoured completely, Po stayed behind during the dead of night to clean up the remains of discarded chopsticks and wash the dirty dishes while the other's went to their dorms and slumbered.

During the nights when Po had clean up duty, he often discovered that he had a knack for humming out festival parade songs and quoting other people's speeches. Of course he only did this when no one was around, he didn't want to give off any weird signals to his comrades, or worst, his Master.

"Fire! Fire at them!" the panda went on, making fun of Lord Shen as he splashed the bowl with water.

"I don't care what scars do…" Po giggled to himself. And yet he felt so very empty inside.

The panda rubbed his belly to check if the double portions of noodles were enough to satisfy him, which checked alright. Po knew for a fact that he hadn't lost a pound ever since Qiong Qi tried to poison the entire village with her moon cakes during the Autumn Festival. So… what was he missing? Was it his father? He hadn't visited him in a while, ever since it revealed to Po that he'd arranged him to marry Lu-Shi in return for a lifetime of china from Mu-Shi.

Was it love that Po longed for? Did Po really, truly want the sweet caressing hand of Lu-Shi, and pledge to her eternal marriage for all of time? He thought about it for a while. She was the only girl who ever appreciated the panda for himself. Sure there were others: Song, Mei Li, Mrs. Yoon…

But they could never love the Dragon Warrior, nor even come close to smother him with affection. Especially Mei Li, Po shuddered at the thought of a toddler comprehending the vast emotional connection of romance.

All and all he dismissed the ideas of love, romance, and all that other lovey-dovey touchy stuff he had been forbidden to never seek out.

Although… If being the Dragon doesn't work out, at least he had options for wives to fall back on.

Yèjiān de kùnjuàn

*Interlude*

Finally, it was bedtime. Po could resort to his bed and retire for the night until the Xīn de yītiān láilín zhī jì. He could picture it now, tons of noodles and cube vegetables, oh what a glutton…

As Po made his way inside his personal dorm, he had noticed something that was oddly different than he remembered. Upon stepping further inside the small sheath room he inspected his sheets, from the looks of it not much has changed. His favorite sheets retained its baby blue color and cotton finish, except this time there were scratches embedded in them. Po looked down on his nap sack to see that the markings also touched his space of sleep.

The panda began to ponder, who could have done this? Po questioned to himself. Now why would someone disturb the resting area of the Dragon Warrior, but not come after him?

Po wasn't good at this type of speculation of others, he had learned previously from Wu Kong that accusing others wasn't always the case.

Besides, Po was too tired to think anymore, he just wanted to go sleep and rest with the little hours left ahead of him until dawn.

He tucked himself under the sheets and into the nap sack, closing his eyes and readying his body for another day.

Funny thing about the night… While Po was sound asleep he could have sworn he felt a chill down his neck, like someone was touching him in his sleep, almost like a slither.


A/n well I'm finished with this chapter for now, join me next time for chapter two of this riveting tale. By the way I'm going to update "Two Face" soon, so be prepared for that. Last but not least can I get a Grammar Nazi in the review column, I always tend to make mistakes in my writing, and later revise them at some other point in the future. But if someone were to point out those mistakes I wouldn't have such a hard time.