Where's my mind?
Chapter 1
It was August, it was the Institute Dinner, it was seven-thirty and she was late. As she ran between bathroom and bedroom, she cursed herself; with a mouthful of hair pins and a handful of hair she finally managed to locate her little silver clutch bag. Content with her find she finished pinning her hair up and threw her essential 'touch-up' make-up items along with her mobile into her bag. Before she ran down the stairs, she turned to the full length mirror on the landing to check herself; pleased with her black backless dress and silver shoes she grinned,
"Not a bad 20 minute turn around Dr Alexander, not bad."
As she grabbed her coat and left she remembered that she must text Harry.
ON WAY SEE YOU IN 10 SOZ - NIK
Harry shoved his mobile back into his dinner jacket. He knew that Nikki would be late; she always was, not that he minded waiting for her but he felt like an idiot stood outside the Fox and Hound in his penguin suit. They didn't have to be at the venue until 8 o'clock but they'd decided to go for a drink before they went. Institute Dinners were OK as far as work doos went: lots of free alcohol, a chance to see Leo get completely off his face and this year they had opened the invitation up to associate staff too. He supposed that this was an attempt to liven up the dinners with a wider variety of people, so this year's should be entertaining. A black cab turned the corner and he could see Nikki leaning into the front seat trying to hand over the fair. The cab stopped and she jumped out,
"Finally…I was getting bored"
"I was as quick as I could, I mean I'd hate for you to have to buy another ridiculous set of coloured scrubs" Nikki looked at him sideways and grinned to herself; she couldn't help noticing how Harry had placed his hand on the small of her back as he guided her into the pub, it felt natural almost as if they were an item. Nikki made a mental note to herself to stay by Harry's side throughout the evening. She hoped that alcohol would finally sort out these feeling she couldn't control any longer and she hoped the alcohol would give one of them the courage to take the first step.
Several hours later the tables had been cleared of all dining plates and in their place were a selection of glasses: new, used, spilt, half drunk, wine glasses, shot glasses, cameras and handbags. The hall was crowded with people, chatting, laughing and the DJ was trying to cajole more people onto the small dance floor. Leo and several other middle aged men air-guitared to the wrong tune, top shirt unbuttoned with their ties around their heads.
Nikki stood at the crowded bar with a double Vodka and tonic in her hand. Her head was light and she knew she should really start swapping her drinks for water at some point. Scanning the crowd she spotted Harry. Her plan to rely on the alcohol hadn't worked. It seem that the more Harry drunk the less he wanted to be around her. Currently he was sat at one of the tables with a skinny blond in a black dress. Nikki gave her best daggers but it was futile as neither of them were facing her way. If alcohol wasn't going to get this sorted then anger was. She casually marched over.
"Harry I want to dance" she flashed a smile at the opposition.
"Nikki I am not dancing to this with them!" as nodded in the direction of Leo and his 'crew' and they caught sight of Leo skidding across the small floor space on his knees. Nikki took a large swig of her drink and slammed her glass down.
"Harry can I talk to you… alone…" she smiled at the blond "could you give us a moment?" the girl nodded and got up and left.
"Harry have I done something to annoy you? I mean, we were fine when we arrived, and throughout dinner, and it was your idea for us to come together and your idea to go to the pub first-"
"Shut up-"
"I know I've had a lot to drink and I tend to get silly – but-"
"Nikki shut up, listen-"
"I'm not as pissed as Leo and you were trying to hold a conversation fine with him, but me oh no… you-" her eyes were filling, Harry could see this so he grabbed her by the arm and pulled her to one side,
"Niks I am not annoyed with you, I am not upset with you, but I am trying to ignore you!" his tone was angry and precise,
"B-why? Harry I –"
"Because… because I'm pissed and I don't want to make a prat out of myself and risk getting a slap from you at the Annual Institute Dinner… that's why!"
"Harry I-" trying to cut in,
"Look, ignore me, I'm drunk, too drunk… and I need to get Leo back home somehow before Janet has to be called to A&E… I'm going to go-" Harry sighed.
"But it's not even 12 we're usually the last to be kicked out… we have a reputation to uphold" she was desperate to keep him there.
"Nikki you stay, Charlie and Nigel will stick it out to the end… go on, don't leave on my account… I'll sort Leo, just enjoy yourself Nik" He squeezed her hand and pecked her on the cheek.
As Harry managed to pile Leo into the cab, Nikki drained her drink that she'd left on the table. Charlie and several other technicians she recognised from the Lyell Centre were on the dance floor, the bar was still crowded so she reapplied her lip-gloss, headed for the bar and thought to herself -the Institute Dinner comes but once a year and Cinderella shall go to the ball.
*
It was dark in the bedroom. The sunlight tried to shine through the curtains but they were closed and the material was too thick. The house seemed dead and nothing stirred. The bed sheets were in disarray and the figure on them looked as though she'd be flung across them like a ragdoll. The ragdoll's slender arms slowly moved to her head. Pain seared through her whole body and her head felt like it had lead bricks inside when she tried to lift it. Slowly opening her eyes the familiar room came into focus, her lampshade, her curtains. She tried to sit upright but her body wouldn't let her. What did she remember? Harry leaving with Leo, dancing with Charlie… then? Nothing, think… then what? Nothing? How did I get home? As much as her body protested Nikki made herself sit up; her mouth was dry and she needed water. She felt disgusting, grimy, and then she realised... her underwear… she didn't have any on? Confused she searched around the dimly lit room and scanned for some clue as to why she was half naked. Her dress was ripped; as she shifted on the bed she became aware of a stickiness that made her stomach lurch; there was blood on her inner thighs. As she tried to hold back a cry her hand found that her lip was bust. Her mind raced, her head couldn't process the information that her body and her eyes were sending her. She dragged herself off the bed; her limbs failing her, tears began to streak her face. When her legs took her weight she was paralysed by a new pain, a hot, sharp, searing pain; she dropped to the floor, unable to take the physical assault on her privates; clutching her lower stomach Nikki let out a sound of anguish and despair. It couldn't be, this couldn't be? She needed someone; terrified, alone and confused she reached up for the phone on her bedside table. She dialled the only number she could remember, the dial tone blared in her ears intensifying the pain, the voice on the other end pierced through the hurt:
"Hey you, I knew you'd be up late; after the text you sent me last night I knew you must have been totally blotto, Nik? Are you going to speak or are you still drunk?"
"Ha –Harry" she whimpered,
"God Nikki, what's wrong… you can't be that hungover surely?" He knew something was wrong and he couldn't breathe,
"Harry I need you… PLEASE….please come quick, I'm scared"
"Ten minutes okay, okay? I'll stay on the phone… whatever it is it's going to be okay, don't be upset Niks"
"G –god Harry, I've been raped".
