Disclaimer: Naruto is owned by Kishimoto Masashi, Shueisha, Viz Shonen Jump, and any other business associates I don't know of. I do not nor will I ever claim any rights to Naruto anime/manga/ect. I do own the plot out line of the story.((AN: Plot my ass!))
There is no rhyme or reason to this story, randomosity will occur. Pregnant woman and the elderly are cautioned to stay away.
Sakura walked through the streets of the Hidden Leaf, a triumphant smirk on her face as she made her way to Sasuke's home. Finally after years of nagging and prodding she had managed to convince Sasuke to take her out on a date. She couldn't wait to see the look on Ino-pig's face when she told the blonde the news. As she walked into her home to prepare for the date that night fate seemed to working against her when all of the clocks in her house were set an hour back.
-That Ino-bitch had better not have done something to Sasuke to keep him from going out on our date!- Inner Sakura screeched as the young woman stormed through the streets of Konoha. When she had realized the time was off, and she was running late she had ran to Sasuke's home only to find him gone. She searched all throughout the village, but she had seen no sign of the young nin. There was the possibility of Sasuke being assigned for a sudden mission, and she knew he didn't have the common courtesy to inform her of his sudden absence.
Sakura sighed when she noticed the Ichiraku in the distance. For once Naruto might have been able to cheer her up. He had long ago gave up crushing on her, but he was still annoying when it came to his regular personality. She walked up to the rode side stand, pushed back the door flap, and entered to find Naruto eating Ramen like normal though this time he was accompanied by someone.
Anger over came the young woman when she noticed Naruto's companion was Sasuke. "SASUKE!" Sakura cried, for one of the rare times in her life she was going to let her full temper on the boy.
Both Sasuke and Naruto froze when they heard the yell, turning there heads slowly they both shook with fear when they saw Sakura. They had both learned by now the first rule about woman; not even an S class Missing-nin could take one on if she was pissed enough.
"Hi?" Sasuke sounded like he was going through puberty again considering the way his voice cracked.
"WHAT IN THE NAME OF HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE WITH NARUTO?"
"Well you were late, and I was getting really hungry. It was Naruto's idea to go see Supper Ninja 5 staring Jackie Chan and Jet Lee then come here for dinner!" Sasuke protested. A grave look came over Naruto's face when he realized Sasuke had put all the blame on him."I didn't know you were going on a date," Naruto protested as Sakura reached behind her back. His eyes widened when she pulled out a giant hammer.
"YOUR DEAD NARUTO! FIRST YOU STEAL SASUKE-KUN'S FIRST KISS, THEN DATE!" she cried. Naruto ran off screaming as Sakura chased him. Sasuke could only blink as the two ran off.
A few weeks later Sakura had forgiven Naruto and Sasuke. Early one morning they were out training, well Sasuke and Naruto were sparring like normal and Sakura was off in her own world as she worked on a Genjutsu spell for invisibility. As if fate were working against the three again, Sasuke and Naruto had decided that this sparring match would be the one that decided who was stronger.
They were pretty evenly matched, Sasuke with his Sharigan and Naruto with the almost unfathomable power of the Kyubi. Naruto had decided to use an old skill from childhood to defeat Sasuke.
"HAREM NO JUTSU!"
Sure Sasuke had always been mature even when he was a child, but he was still male and with the appearance of two dozen naked ladies he couldn't help but let his testosterone levels shoot through the roof. The nose bleed had been a long and exhausting one, the poor young man falling unconscious when it was over.
"NARUTO!" Sakura bellowed, pulling out the hammer. All the female Naruto disappeared to leave a very scared one behind.
"WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?" He called as Sakura gave chase.
"YOU GET SASUKE'S FIRST KISS, THEN YOU GET HIS FIRST DATE, AND NOW YOU BECOME THE DESIRE OF HIS FANTASIES. THAT'S JUST WRONG NARUTO!"
It took Sakura a year this time to forgive Naruto, and when that was done she was forced to leave on a mission for a week. Fate worked against the woman again when somehow Sasuke became an illegal alien in his homeland. Tsunade scrambled to keep the Uchiha from being deported, but in the mean time Sasuke was forced to marry someone in the village. Since all of the eligible woman in the Hidden Leaf would have tried to turn the temporary arrangements permanent and Sakura wasn't around, Naruto had *volenteered.* "You don't think Sakura is going to find out, do you?" Naruto asked as they both sat in his apartment, eating Ramen. ((AN: You think Naruto would have anything else?))
As if on que the door of the apartment slammed to the floor. Revealing a blazing red Sakura holding two hammers in her hands. "Damn..." was all they could mutter before Sakura began the attack.
"I'M GONNA KILL YOU BOTH THIS TIME!"
"GOOD GOD NOT THERE!"
"NOW I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO RESURRECT MY CLAN!"
