The Curious Case of the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat
Summary: The NCIS team is called out to a case… Joseph's eleven brothers claim that he was torn apart by a lion in the desert… but something doesn't sit quite right with the case… maybe the fact that the corpse wasn't recovered…or maybe something else… the music, perhaps… nah…
Written for the NCIS, the Musical! Challenge on the NFA Community Forum
Disclaimer: I don't own anything connecting to the show NCIS and I don't own the musicals quoted in the story. They all belong to their respective owners. (quotations are in Italics)
Musicals quoted:Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, Chicago, Cats, Aida, Wicked, Oklahoma, Mary Poppins, Avenue Q
I owe a huge "thank you" to my amazing friend, Zivacentric, who made the beta-reading for this story and even after reading it, she still talks to me. :-D Thank you, my friend!
The NCIS truck screeched to a halt in front of a remote farm house and Special Agent Ziva David jumped out from behind the wheel with a satisfied grin on her face. Never mind the fact that she'd just arrived to a crime scene… The other two agents exited the truck with more somber expressions on their faces. Well, Special Agent Timothy McGee looked too sick to sport a cheerful countenance and Special Agent Antony DiNozzo was too occupied with his presumably injured knee (which, on the way to the crime scene, bumped into the dashboard on more occasion than he dared to count) to even crack a smile.
Gibbs had already arrived at the crime scene and was impatiently waiting for his team to arrive. He was annoyed, too. But nothing outstanding; just the usual. In the midst of his annoyance, he even took his time to observe the scenery… after all it was not everyday that one had the opportunity to visit the desert of Washington DC, which, he noticed with a look of disappointment, looked rather artificial. But he quite felt like singing, nonetheless. And, after grabbing his NCIS cap into his hand, he did just that, all the while moving animatedly around the yard.
"There's a bright, golden haze on the meadow
There's a bright, golden haze on the meadow.
The corn is as high as an elephant's eye
And it looks like it's climbing clear up to the sky.
Oh, what a beautiful Mornin'
Oh, what a beautiful day.
I've got a beautiful feelin'
Everything's goin' my way.
All the cattle are standin' like statues
All the cattle are standin' like statues…"
He petted one or two plastic sheep as he went by with bouncing steps. Either he didn't really care about the lack of cattle or he just couldn't say the difference… Either way he was the perfect embodiment of human contentment at that moment.
"They don't turn their heads as they see me ride by
But a little brown mav'rick is winkin' her eye
Oh, what a beautiful Mornin'
Oh, what a beautiful day.
I've got a beautiful feelin'
Everything's goin' my way…"
While Gibbs was busy singing, pretending that he was a Midwestern rancher, his team stopped to look at him with wide eyes. Well, more like McGee was watching him with eyes as big as whole Oklahoma while Ziva tried in vain not to laugh at her boss and Tony wore an unashamed grin. Gibbs finally noticed them and turned to his team. Well, he wasn't a happy camper anymore…
"Happy you finally decided to join me." He looked at his team pointedly and he was just about to assign the jobs when Ducky ducked under the crime-scene tape and gave the whole group a humorous smile. It seemed very much that today not even a dead body could spoil those people's good mood. What a beautiful morning indeed!
"Welcome. Ladies and Gentlemen, you are about to see a story ofmurder, greed, corruption, violence, exploitation, adultery,and treachery - all those things we all hold near and dear toour hearts. Thank you." He told in the tone of an announcer while he was chuckling to himself. Gibbs didn't find it all that funny, though. But the rest of the team snickered at the theatrical performance of the old ME.
To avoid any further interruption, Gibbs quickly barked his orders then everybody went on their way… leaving the Medical Examiner standing puzzled where he was. And his puzzlement wasn't due to the fact that Jimmy Palmer was running up and down in the background chased by a very enthusiastic she-goat… a plastic she-goat! He didn't see that… actually, he didn't see anything.
"Hmm… Jethro." After looking around once or twice, just to make sure, he called after the team leader. "If you don't mind my asking, where is the body?"
"We don't have one, Duck." Gibbs stated matter-of-factly then went to join Ziva, who had begun to interview the witnesses. Ducky just shrugged then turned and went back to his truck. Well, no body, no worry. And anyway, that all too bright yellow color of the artificial sand began to hurt his eyes.
"So you say that your brother fell into this well?" Ziva furrowed her brows in confusion while she jotted down the information. She looked up at the men standing in front of her, questioningly when she couldn't hear anybody answering her question. "Well?" She asked the men, who suddenly found their sandals – because they did wear sandals – fascinating. The truth was that the female agent found them fascinating, too… in a weird and completely comic kind of way. Who the hell wears sandals and kaftans anyway?
"Not exactly…" Finally one of them spoke up and suddenly ten pairs of eyes stared at him warningly.
"Not exactly?" Gibbs joined the little group of eleven brothers and his agent. The man, who dared to speak, looked at his brothers a little baffled – we have to admit that he wasn't from the brightest ones – then his eyes lit up and turned back to the agents.
"Actually, he was eaten by a beast… a beast that big…" He indicated with his wide spread arms while his face took up an incredibly stupid expression. Suddenly the warning look disappeared from the brothers' eyes and they were quick to nod in agreement. Ziva looked at them amused while Gibbs just raised an eyebrow.
"What kind of beast?" He asked and after a little discussion, the brothers were quite certain that it had been a lion. Well, it surely did come a long way, Ziva muttered under her breath. Gibbs smirked. The men even had an old battered coat covered in blood to prove that their youngest brother was indeed attacked by a lion.
Their interview was suddenly interrupted by loud and happy chatting and when the two agents turned, they could see a group of women approaching with an old man in the middle. The man, who looked impossibly old even for Gibbs, stopped in front of them with an air that commanded respect while the brothers ran up to the women crying the different forms of "mother", completely forgetting about any kind of self-respect.
"Would you care to explain me this whole commission here?" The old man asked Gibbs but his eyes were definitely on Ziva. "You have the intention to give your daughter into marriage?" He asked with all seriousness, still regarding Ziva with critical eyes. Gibbs blinked, not really understanding the question while Ziva gapped in surprise. Did he really ask what she had heard him ask? "Well, I would certainly be happy to have her as my wife." He winked at Ziva then gave her a lustful grin, which made his yellow and black teeth visible. At least those few ones that he still had. "Are you a virgin, my dear?"
"Alright…" Gibbs finally stepped up, effectively preventing the Israeli woman from reacting in any kind of way to that question. "Sir… we are here to investigate."
"Investigate what?" At that, one of the man's sons stepped up to his father with a grave expression while the others began to whistle behind him. Whistle, really? Ziva frowned and looked at Gibbs, who just shrugged. Then the man began to sing.
"Father we've something to tell you, a story of our time
A tragic but inspiring tale of manhood in its prime
You know you had a dozen sons -
Well now that's not quite true
But feel no sorrow, do not grieve,
He would not want you to."
While the man sang, with the back-up of his brothers, McGee and DiNozzo had also joined them. McGee began to beat the rhythm of the song with his feet while Tony looked on completely enjoying the performance.
"There's one more angel in heaven
There's one more star in the sky
Joseph we'll never forget you
It's tough but we're gonna get by
There's one less place at our table
There's one more tear in my eye
But Joseph the things that you stood for
Like peace and love never die
When I think of his last great battle
A lump comes to my throat
It takes a man who knows no fear
To wrestle with a goat..."
"Did he just say goat?" Ziva turned to Gibbs questioningly. She could swear that the goat was not another word for lion.
"I don't think he knows the different between goat and lion, Ziver." Gibbs answered and Ziva nodded. True enough.
"His blood-stained coat is tribute to
His final sacrifice
His body may be past its peak
But his soul's in paradise
There's one less place at our table
There's one more tear in my eye
But Joseph the things that you stood for
Like truth and light never die
Carve his name with pride and courage
Let no tear be shed
If he had not laid down his life
We all would now be dead."
As the final chords of the song died away, the members of the grieving family – the very old father, the eleven brothers and the many-many mothers – were embracing each other crying over their loss in the shadows of a huge plastic cactus.
Gibbs suspected that there would be no further useful information gained from that bunch of singing lunatics so they geared up and started off back to the Navy Yard.
After they arrived back to the Navy Yard and the evidence was handed over to Abby, Gibbs disappeared as per usual and left his agents on their own devices. Well, he certainly expected them to work on the case… however, the three experienced agents were doing anything but that. McGee was excitedly chatting away with Abby while Tony was reading… well, not his usual literature. Ziva noticed that, too, and, after throwing a suspicious glance in his direction, she stood up and walked up behind him.
"What are you reading, Tony?" She asked in a deep voice leaning close to his ear and making the other agent jump.
"Nothing." Tony replied and quickly closed the book. But he was not quick enough to hide the title on the cover. Ziva laughed.
"Are you reading the Bible?" She asked in disbelief.
"Yeah." Tony shrugged and looked up at the woman. "Maybe you should read it, too. You could learn one or two things from Moses." He quipped. With a smug smile, Ziva walked back to her desk and lifted up the book that was lying on it. Tony looked at the Hebrew version of the Old Testament with a frown.
"I hope you have more than the Bible in two languages." Gibbs stormed into the squad room with coffee in hand and sat down to his desk.
"I have the Qur'an, too." Ziva supplied while she lined up with the others in front of the team leader's desk. Gibbs gave her a pointed look but then Tony demanded his attention with his impatient bouncing.
"I've found something, Boss." He informed the older man eagerly while Ziva gave him a dirty look then stepped in front of him all but pushing him backwards.
"I have found something, too." And without waiting for any reaction, she put the Old Testament in front of Gibbs while the lights in the squad room dimmed and only Ziva remained in light. Gentle tunes could be heard and the male agents watched on as Ziva began her presentation… singing.
"Some folks dream of the wonders they'll do
Before their time on this planet is through
Some just don't have anything planned
They hide their hopes and their heads in the sand
Now I don't say who is wrong, who is right
But if by chance you are here for the night
Then all I need is an hour or two
To tell the tale of a dreamer like you
We all dream a lot - some are lucky, some are not
But if you think it, want it, dream it, then it's real
You are what you feel.
But all that I say can be told another way…"
"Damn right, it can be." The music abruptly stopped as Tony chimed in annoyed that Ziva had elbowed her way in front of him. "…and in a much more interesting way, I must add. You almost made us fall asleep, Zeevah." Ziva shrugged and went back to her desk where she sat down sulking. All the while, the squad room filled with colourful lights and Tony started his account enthusiastically.
"Way way back many centuries ago,
Not long after the Bible began
Jacob lived in the land of Canaan,
A fine example of a family man.
Jacob, Jacob and sons,
Depended on farming to earn their keep.
Jacob, Jacob and sons,
Spent all of his days in the fields with sheep.
Jacob was the founder of a whole new nation
Thanks to the number of children he had
He was also known as Israel, but most of the time
His sons and his wives used to call him Dad.
Jacob, Jacob and sons,
Men of the soil, of the sheaf and crook
Jacob, Jacob and sons,
A remarkable family in anyone's book.
Reuben was the eldest of the children of Israel
With Simeon and Levi the next in line
Naphtali and Isaachar with Asher and Dan
Zebulun and Gad took the total to nine
Jacob, Jacob and sons,
Benjamin and Judah, which leaves only one
Jacob, Jacob and sons…"
By the time he finished, half of the squad room had been standing behind him supplying the chorus. Gibbs actually smirked at his agent's performance, which McGee enjoyed with unveiled amazement. Ziva just scoffed in her chair, not at all amused.
"So…" Gibbs began after everybody settled down and all was in the squad room as every ordinary day. "You say that this case can be a copycat of Joseph's story in the Bible." Gibbs concluded and Tony nodded.
"And the Qur'an." Ziva added huffing, really wanting to add something extra to the case, however insignificant that detail might be. But she was promptly ignored.
Gibbs then turned to his third agent, who, apart from humming the tunes with Tony, had been very silent. He stared at the young agent until McGee realized that he should really add something. Aware of the fact that he couldn't really share the juicy details of his private conversation with Abby, with which he had spent all of his time and which was all he could show for his activity, he began to stutter something about the Bible and stories then slowly he managed to find the proper tune and actually making sense at the same time.
"Every story, tale or memoir
Every saga or romance
Whether true or fabricated
Whether planned or happenstance
Whether sweeping through the ages
Casting centuries aside
Or a hurried brief recital
Just a thirty-minute ride
Whether bright or melancholy
Rough and ready, finely spun
Whether with a thousand players
Or a lonely cast of one
Every story, new or ancient
Bagatelle or work of art
All are tales of human failing
All are tales of love at heart…"
At this point, he gathered all of his confidence and jumped up from his chair truly letting his voice out. Tony watched on a little scared while Gibbs just shook his head. Ziva was so caught up in the performance that she had actually forgot about sulking and watched McGee with awe as he continued on.
"This is the story
Of a love that flourished
In a time of hate
Of lovers no tyranny could separate
Love set into motion on the Nile's shore
Destiny ignited by an act of war
Egypt saw the mighty river as its very heart and soul
Source of life for all her people
That only Egypt could control
Destruction of her southern neighbour justified
Nubia exploited, left with little more than pride."
"Congratulations, McGenius." Tony spoke up mockingly while McGee smoothed the lapels of his jacket and sat down. "That was really great but it's relevant in our case because…"
"Well… uh…" Yes, McGee was completely aware of the irrelevancy of his little aria. "You see… Nubia is close to Egypt… and the story of Joseph ends in… Egypt… and…" Ziva chuckled at her friend's reasoning but suddenly Gibbs didn't know who to strangle… McGee or himself…
"Yeah. But not our story." Tony pointed out.
"Actually, yes." Abby burst in all bouncy and everything. "But first thing's first. Do you know what this case reminds me of?" She asked cheerfully and almost instantly she opened her mouth to continue… but, seeing the Bible in her hands and really not wanting to hear a repeated performance, Gibbs stopped her.
"Don't even think about it, Abs." He warned the happy Goth who closed her mouth pouting. "What did you find?" Abby cheered up almost instantly.
"You remember that fibre Tony found in the well? Well, I identified it and it's from a very expensive tailored coat. Here." She grabbed the remote control and the image of a coat appeared on the screen. Looking at the image, all of the agents stood up and walked up to the plasma by Gibbs' desk.
"Is this...?" Ziva asked not taking her eyes off of the screen. Abby nodded.
"Wow." That was all McGee could add. Well, he wasn't really productive that day.
"Yeah, I know." Tony reacted with a frown. "Who would even think about wearing a thing like that? It's just..."
"Colourful?" Ziva supplied.
"Like a rainbow." Abby looked at the coat as if under a spell.
"Abs?" Gibbs began to feel that he was missing something.
"Come on, Gibbs. You don't know the story?" Abby looked at the man as if he had been a green alien. Seeing Gibbs' look, Abby rolled her eyes and, once again, music could be heard as Abby began to explain the significance of the coat.
"Jacob wanted to show the world he loved his son
To make it clear that Joseph was the special one
So Jacob bought his son a coat
A multi-coloured coat to wear."
Here both Tony and Ziva joined Abby in her relating the story.
"Joseph's coat was elegant,
The cut was fine
The tasteful style was the
Ultimate in good design
And this is why it caught the eye
A king would stop and stare."
Here Abby took over for a couple of lines.
"And when Joseph tried it on
He knew his sheepskin days were gone."
This time McGee stood up, too, to join the chorus.
"Such a dazzling coat of many colours
How he loved his coat of many colours."
Abby continued.
"In a class above the rest
It even went well with his vest
Such a stunning coat of many colours
How he loved his coat of many colours
It was red and yellow and green and
Brown and blue
Joseph's brothers weren't
Too pleased with what they saw."
Once again, the whole squad room gathered around Team Gibbs, some of them assuming the role of the brothers while McGee had been pushed in front to play Joseph.
"We have never liked him
All that much before
And now this coat
Has got our goat
We feel life is unfair
And when Joseph graced the scene
His brothers turned a shade of green
His astounding clothing took the biscuit
Quite the smoothest person in the district
I look handsome, I look smart
I am walking work of art
Such a dazzling coat of colours
How I love my coat of many colours
It was red and yellow and green and brown
And scarlet and black and ochre and peach
And ruby and olive and violet and fawn
And lilac and gold and chocolate and mauve
And cream and crimson and silver and rose
And azure and lemon and russet and grey
And purple and white and pink and orange…"
As the music died away, Team Gibbs stood in front of the team leader with flushed faces and huge grins. Gibbs sighed.
"If this murder is really a copycat of the Bible story then we have a problem placing the coat into it." He pointed out. Now, he wasn't a really religious man but he could state with conviction that the Bible didn't say anything about a rainbow coloured coat.
"That's not the point, Gibbs." Abby whined then jumped a little as if she was preparing to say something big. "Our victim is alive and well, by the way. That blood on the coat the brothers gave us, it wasn't his. Cool, just like in the Bible." Abby was really excited. "Oh, and Joseph is in Egypt." She beamed while the others looked at her in disbelief.
"You are kidding, yes?" Ziva asked but Abby just shook her head. The Israeli woman just hoped that the man wasn't playing the Pharaoh's first man. Now that would be just weird, she thought.
"How on Earth could he get from a well in DC into Egypt?" Gibbs asked the forensic specialist.
"I may be able to answer that question." Abby was cut short even before she could have answered the question. All eyes turned to the man who had just entered from stage left...
TBC
