Letting Go

Disclaimer: These characters aren't mine, I swear. I'm just borrowing them for a little while, and when I'm through, the creator is welcome to have them back.

Thanks go to: Aubrey, one of my wonderful betas, who helped me overcome the loss of the baby (HAPPY THOUGHTS) and Heather, my other beta, and one of the best ones, too.

Author's note: OK, let me explain something, this fic is set after Eine Klien, but before Lunar Eclipse, we're going to erase all thoughts of Lunar Eclipse from our minds and start fresh. So, let's just assume that Annie left in Eine Klein and that the show resumed from there.

Letting Go

He sat close to her. Too close. Way too close.

She could feel each breath that left his body, feel his heartbeat. It was almost too much, and Maddie feared that if they hadn't been in the air, she would have done something that would have embarrassed them both.

'Thank God for small favors.' she said to herself as David shifted in his seat.

They would be landing soon, landing in Chicago. She wasn't sure why she'd invited him. Except that the look on his face when she said she was leaving for Chicago had put a crack in her heart and she'd had to give in.

Besides, what could a few days at her parents hurt? They had been 'together' for about a month; she figured that it would be all right.

So far, the plane ride was proving to be torture.

"Please fasten your seatbelts as we are getting ready for landing. Thank you for flying Aeromass." The announcement ended with a beep and Maddie sighed.

She leaned her head on her partner's shoulder and closed her eyes. In just a few moments, she'd be in Chicago....again.

But this time was different. This time David was with her. This time, she wasn't pregnant.

Maddie's eyes flew open at the last thought. She could feel the panic flood her body and she shook her head, trying to clear it.

No, there was no way. They had been so careful, neither wanting a replay of their last mistake, they had taken every precaution known to man, every time.

Maddie's cheeks flushed, well, maybe not every time. There is very little you can do about protection when you're on a dirt road in the middle of no where.

Not that a baby would be bad. Or even unwelcome, but she wasn't sure that's what their relationship, such as it was, needed at the moment.

Both Maddie and David had pretty much avoided the issue since the elevator incident. After Annie came into the picture, Maddie didn't see a reason to talk about it again. It was obviously over between them.

But then, suddenly, Annie was gone, and once again, there was this void in her life. It had taken a late night stakeout and a rather tempestuous case to get both of them to come to their senses and see that the relationship could in fact go somewhere, and that they would never know if they didn't try.

Now, here she was, on a flight back home, with David sitting right beside her.

Maddie sighed again and tried to shut out the feeling of contentment. It wasn't a good idea of getting content with this situation; who knew what would come of it?

Then again, fighting off the contentment meant she had no time to fight off the panic. Maddie instead started counting days. Days until her birthday, days until Christmas, days since her last....she groaned inwardly and gave in.

It had been a little under two months. She was late. There was no getting around that. But sometimes there were explanations....

Maddie laughed to herself. Explanations...HA! There was only one explanation, and that was carelessness. Irony struck her, was the only place to find out you're pregnant Chicago? She laughed again.

"Wanna share the joke?" David's voice jarred her out of her thoughts.

Maddie smiled at him. "Good afternoon, sunshine. Sleep well?"

David smirked. "Yeah, wonderful dream, you wanna hear about it?"

Maddie closed her eyes, laying her head back on his shoulder. "No thanks, I'll wait for the movie."

He sensed that something was wrong, and later, he would damn himself for not asking, but David didn't want to initiate a fight, so he remained silent. Kissing the top of her head, he shifted his body until his thigh was pressed firmly against hers.

David grinned at her intake of breath and leaned in close to her ear. "Have I mentioned how anxious I am to get to a hotel?"

Maddie smiled. "Not in the last forty minutes." She brought her head up and looked him in the eyes. "David....."

He interrupted her. "Behave. I will, don't worry. At least in front of your parents, anyway. I can't vouche for myself behind closed doors." He waggled his eyebrows at her, making her smile.

"That is not what I was going to say." She paused. "Although that rule still stands. What I was going to say is that you're going to have to restrain yourself for another hour or two. We have to go to my parents before we go to the hotel."

David groaned softly. "You mean we can't...."

"David!"

"....for another two hours?"

Maddie nodded. "And try to stay away from the innuendo for the duration of our stay, OK?"

"Yeah, I remember what your dad did to your dog for licking your face....I'd hate to see what he'd do to me."

Maddie rolled her eyes at this comment and unfastened her seatbelt as the light went off. Getting up from her seat, she stretched, "Just behave, OK?"

David stood up, putting less than an inch between her chest and his. "And what will I get if I'm good all night?"

Maddie smiled, her earlier panic forgotten momentarily. "I guess there's only one way to find out."

~ ~ ~

"Maddie, darling. I'm so glad you came." Virginia Hayes hugged her daughter. "You look wonderful!" she said as she pulled back to loOK her over.

"You don't look so bad yourself, Mom," Maddie replied, hugging her mother back.

There was a slight throat clearing and Maddie turned into her father's embrace. "Daddy," she said, feeling the tears well up in her eyes.

Alexander Hayes stared at his only child in concern. "Hey, what's this?" He wiped a meandering tear off of her face. "Tears?"

"I'm just so happy to be home," she explained, wondering herself at the sudden display of emotion.

Alex seemed content with this explanation and turned to David, saying, "It's nice to see you again, son." They shook hands.

David grinned. "Well, when Maddie begged me to come....I could hardly refuse." He winked in Maddie's direction. "Besides, I had to come and see what Chicago's appeal was, seems everyone likes coming here."

Virginia hugged David. "We're glad Maddie didn't have to make the trip alone. Now, you two, I'll bet you haven't had anything to eat since you left California."

As the snow started to fall, Alex smiled and said, "Hot chocolate seems appropriate."

"Nah, we had some roasted peanuts on the way. I think I still have some left....." David's voice trailed off as they walked into the house.

~ ~ ~

"There Maddie was, hanging from a ladder, scared to death......but I got her up and we found the diamonds." David grinned at the memory. "I asked her to go into business with me the next day. And the rest is - -"

Maddie interruppted him, "Kismet." They shared an intimate glance before Maddie loOKed at her watch, "We really should get going. We need to get checked into the hotel." She started to rise from her place on the couch when her mother's voice stopped her.

"Nonsense, dear. Why waste perfectly good money on a hotel when we have rooms here?"

Maddie glanced at David and then at her father, and finally back to her mother. "I....well.....we...."

David forced a smile to his fac., "That's a wonderful idea, Mrs. Hayes. I'll just go get our suitcases." he glanced purposefully at Maddie and walked out of the room.

"I think I'll go help him." Maddie got up from her seat on the couch and walked out of the room into the hallway. The luggage was still sitting on the floor. Perplexed, Maddie loOKed around. "David?" she whispered softly.

A hand reached out from the kitchen and pulled her in. Before Maddie could even gasp, David's mouth came down on hers.

The kiss went from being sweetly tender to being ravagingly exotic. When Maddie noticed the change, she pulled away and opened her eyes, for the first time in a couple of minutes noticing that David had pushed her up against the wall. "David," she said breathlessly.

"Maddie," he replied, the familiar twinkle in his eye as he bent his head to kiss her again. When Maddie turned her head away, he shrugged slightly and started nuzzling her neck instead.

David found her pulse and lightly touched his tounge to it, elicting a strangled sigh from her. He grinned and switched tactics. He trailed kisses up and down her neck, finally ending up at her lips. As David kissed her, the only thought that was racing through his mind was, 'I wonder how long it will take me to get everything off of that table'.

Maddie's mind, however, was in turmoil. 'How am I going to tell him?' ; 'What if my parents walk in?' ; 'It shouldn't have taken us this long to get the suitcases.' ; 'I wonder how long it will take him to get everything off of that table.'

Maddie slowly became aware of footsteps coming down the hall and pulled away from David. She pressed a finger to her lips and took his hand, leading him over to the table.

When Mr. Hayes poked his head into the kitchen a couple of seconds later, Maddie was standing over David sitting in a chair. "I don't see anything, David."

"I swear there was something in my eye," he said, hiding his smile.

"You were imagining things," she said as she straightened and turned to face her father. "David thought he had something in his eye," Maddie explained.

Mr. Hayes nodded and hid a smile, anyone could tell by Maddie's flustered appearence what they had been doing. And the smug look on David's face was almost humorous. "Oh, your mother and I were just wondering what was keeping you."

Maddie smiled thinly and walked toward her father. "We were just getting the suitcases," she mumbled as she walked out of the kitchen and into the hall.

David grinned at Mr. Hayes and started to walk out of the room.

"Son?"

David stopped and turned to Maddie's dad, the smirk still firmly in place. "Yes, sir?"

Mr. Hayes grinned at him. "You might want to rethink your choice of lipstick, it's not your color." Then he too exited the kitchen.

David dragged a hand across his mouth and grinned before following Mr. Hayes out into the hall.

~ ~ ~

"David, this is the guest room," Mrs. Hayes said as she opened a door to the room at the end of the hall. "It has it's own bathroom, too," she added as David walked in behind her and set his suitcase down.

"This is great, Mrs. Hayes," he said with forced cheer. What he wanted to do was drag Maddie in here, lock the door and.....David shook his head to clear his thoughts and turned his attention back to the woman in front of him. "I'm sure I'll be perfectly comfortable in here."

Maddie's mother smiled at the man before her. "I'm sure you will, David," she said, patting his shoulder, "Well, I'll let you get settled, dinner will be ready anytime now." She gave him one last look and walked out of the door.

David watched the door close and sank down onto the bed. "I'd be more comfortable down the hall," he muttered with a slight smile. He sighed and got up, pulling his suitcase over to the bed and flinging it up. He unzipped and began unpacking it.

Walking over to the dresser, David piled his pants and jeans into a dresser drawer and closed it with a queit bang. He crossed over to the suitcase again and smiled as he picked up a garment made of silk. Holding the tresspassing object in both of his hands, he smiled.

They had hastily packed their clothing, trying to get his stuff into his suitcase, and her stuff into her suitcase, and still make the flight on time. But it seemed that they had missed a few throws, because, as David glanced into his suitcase, he noticed a few other items that definitely didn't belong to him.

His smiled widened as he held up another silk garment. Yes, he was positive he'd never worn anything like this before.

David finished unpacking and headed downstairs, following his nose to the kitchen. "What's cooking, Mrs. H? Sure smells great."

"David, have a seat in the dining room, we're almost ready to eat." She gently shoved him in the direction of the dining room and turned back to the stove.

He walked out of the kitchen and sat at the table with Maddie and Mr. Hayes. He sat down next to Maddie, immediately gripping her hand under the table.

Maddie smiled at him and squeezed his hand, resting it on her thigh. Mrs. Hayes walked into the room and David let go of Maddie's hand with a final squeeze and got up, waiting until she was seated before he seated himself again.

Dinner proceeded without a problem, David and Maddie retold stories of their past cases, dramatizing finding Clark Graydon and laughing over the bet that they'd made.

"I won," Maddie said with a grin in David's direction. "But I took pity on him. Besides, he couldn't help himself, it comes naturally."

Mr. and Mrs. Hayes both laughed at this and David grinned. "Yep, nothing artificial about this guy," he patted himself on the chest.

Mrs. Hayes rose. "Well, as much as a pleasure it's been, we have some errands to run, so I hope you two don't mind fending for yourselves for a little while."

"No problem, I'm sure we'll find something to do," David said nonchalantly, with a sideways look at Maddie.

Maddie smiled at her parents. "Actually, I thought we'd go get the tree, the man called and said that it was ready whenever we were, so I figured that would give David and I something to do."

As the parents disappeared into the kitchen with their dishes, David pulled Maddie into an embrace and whispered into her ear, "I'm sure we could've found something more....." he looked her up and down, "stimulating......to do while your folks were gone."

"Behave, David," was all Maddie said before she walked into the kitchen after her parents, but David caught a glimpse of her smile anyway.

~ ~ ~

"Hayes," Maddie said, rubbing her hands together to warm them. The woman in front of her flipped through a stack of papers attached to the clipboard without looking up.

"Yeah, it's number 245098." she loOKed up finally, and latched her eyes on David. Maddie watched as the woman's eyes traveled up and down his body and landed on his left hand. She smiled at him and batted her eyelashes.

Maddie glared and slowly reached down to grip David's left hand in her right one. "The tree?" she questioned, a trace of ice in her voice.

The woman rolled her eyes and disappeared around the side of the mobile home behind her. David turned to Maddie once she was gone and smirked. "Did I imagine it, or did you just start to resemble Frosty the snow bit - -"

Maddie slapped him on the arm hard. "Don't start with me, Addison."

David just brought her hand to his lips and placed a warm kiss on her palm, "I wouldn't dream of it, Lady." Slowly, he inched his face closer and finally he captured her lips with his. The kiss deepened and started to spiral out of control.

Maddie jumped when a throat was cleared behind her. "Your tree?" a young man asked with a smile. He pointed to the side of the mobile home where a seven foot tree leaned against the rusting aluminum.

"Thank you." Maddie said, breathlessly.

The man tipped his hat in their direction and started to walk back into the mobile home, but he stopped and turned, throwing something in their direction. David caught it and grinned.

Mistletoe.

"Thought you could use it," he said before opening the door and going inside.

David laughed and placed a quick kiss on Maddie's cheek before walking over to the tree and hoisting it on top of the car.

As Maddie watched him fasten the tree to the top of the car, she wrapped her arms around herself and smiled, maybe getting content wasn't so bad after all.....

~ ~ ~

David pulled into the Hayes' driveway and stopped, he cut the engine and got out, immediately untying the rope that was binding the tree on his side. "Maddie, can you start on that side, please?"

They worked for about ten minutes, finally managing to get the tree down and leaning against the side of the house.

Behind him, Maddie stooped down and picked up a bunch of snow, molding it into a ball, and flinging it at David.

David jerked forward as the snowball hit him in the back. He whipped around and stared at Maddie. She was standing in front of him with innocence written on her face.

"Did you just throw snow at me?"

Maddie smiled. "Me? Would I do something like that?"

David smiled back. "No. I guess not." He turned around and began shoving the tree again. Another ball of snow hit him in the back. David ignored it and kept to his task. But when get another hit him he leaned down and grabbed a handful of snow, flinging it back at her.

And so the war began.

~ ~ ~

It was sometime later that two cold, wet people pushed the Christmas tree into the living room and got it up.

Daivd came up behind Maddie and wrapped his arms around her waist, resting his head on her shoulder. Maddie sighed contentedly. "We need to decorate it."

"Don't we need to wait for your parents?" David questioned.

Maddie nodded. "For the ornaments, yes. But we can do the lights now."

They spent the next half an hour drinking eggnog and putting up Christmas lights. Five of those thirty minutes was spent untangling David from the lights.

Maddie sat down on the couch and sighed. "It's beautiful, isn't it?" she whispered, the blinking lights on the Christmas tree creating strange patterns on her skin.

David sat next to her and pulled her close, kissing the top of her head. "Yeah, beautiful. Say, your parents aren't due back for another hour....we should make good of that time, what say you?"

Maddie tilted her head up and kissed him. Pulling away, she grinned. "We, the jury, find the vote to be unanimous," she said before kissing him again and getting up. She made her way to the stairs and started up, David right behind her.

~ ~ ~

Maddie leaned back against his chest and smiled to herself. The faint smell of sunflower scented bubble bath floated up from the bathtub, making Maddie smile more, but causing David to wrinkle his nose. "I'm going to smell like a garden full of weeds when we get out," he mumbled, pulling her more firmly against him and smelling her hair.

"Well, you know, we could always just get out now...." Maddie started to rise and David pulled her back down.

"Not on your life, Blondie," he whispered into her ear as he pulled her against him again. "How long do you suppose we have until the folks get home?"

Maddie leaned over the side of the tub and picked up her watch from the toilet lid. "About forty-five minutes, I think," she replied, shifting to make herself more comfortable.

David groaned, "You need a bigger bathtub in here." he mumbled into her ear, bending his head to kiss her shoulder.

Maddie carefully picked up her body and turned, putting her chest to his. "What were you saying about a bigger tub?"

"Bigger tub? Me? I couldn't have said that." He kissed her lightly on the nose. "Closeness suits me just fine."

~ ~ ~

Maddie became aware of a stiffness in her lower back and reached around her to rub it. Her eyes snapped open, she was in water! Stifling on coming panic, she raised her head from David's chest and looked around.

The candles had long since burned out, the incense had also burned out, the smell of 'Sex on the Beach' permeated the room. Maddie grinned, it wasn't exactly the beach....she looked up at David, admiring his face as he slept.

David groaned. "I'm getting too old to be doing this, Blondie," he mumbled while shifting his body under hers. He shuddered. "This water is freezing," he complained.

"You're getting too old? Please, if you're not too old to - -"

David interrupted her, "OK, so I'm not too old, just really sore." He shifted again. "What time is it?"

Maddie's eyes went wide. "David, oh my God."

David grinned. "Haven't we been over that?"

She rolled her eyes and reached for her watch. "My parents are going to be home any time- -" the front door slammed from downstairs, "now." Maddie jumped up, all modesty forgotten, and wrapped a towel around her body.

A call came from up the stairs. "Maddie? David?"

Maddie was starting to panic, and, on top of that, her stomach had picked now to start rebelling against her. She leaned against the edge of the sink, determined to fight off the nausea. She turned quickly to tell David to hurry up and spots appeared before her eyes.

Swaying a little, Maddie blinked several times and steadied herself again on the sink. David stood and got out of the bathtub, wrapping a towel around his waist. "Maddie, you OK?"

"Yes, but my parents...." she was interrupted by a knock on the bathroom door.

"Maddie," her father's voice called out, "are you in there?"

Maddie buried her face in her hands and groaned softly. "Yes, Dad, I'm in here," she answered, glaring at David's grin.

"Where's David, sweetheart?" Her mother's voice chimed in. "I need a strong man to help with the groceries."

David opened his mouth to announce his presence but Maddie clapped a hand over his mouth. "I don't know where David is....he said something about a walk, I think."

"A walk? In this weather? It's coming down really hard out ther," Mrs. Hayes said, concern tingeing her voice.

"Well, you know David...." Maddie let the sentence trail off, falling silent to keep from being sick.

"Are you OK?" David asked, momentarily forgetting that her parents were on the other side of the door. He looked at her with his brow furrowed in concern.

"Did you say something, Maddie?"

"Yes, but it's not important," she said, finally gaining the upper hand on her nausea. "I'll be out in a second, I was just taking a shower."

Maddie listened to the receding footsteps and let out a huge sigh. She leaned against the sink once more, the dizziness setting in again.

"What the hell was that about?" David demanded, coming to stand in front of her, a glare replacing his earlier grin.

Maddie sat down on the side of the bathtub and let the water out. "What the hell was what about?" she asked, feigning ignorance.

"You just went to great lengths to not get caught with me. You act like your parents never...."

Maddie interrupted him with a disgusted look. "Thank you, David, that is quite enough," she said, leaning her head on her elbows and trying to dissuade her stomach from giving up her dinner.

"What, that's all I get? No clever repartee?" he asked, mystified and a bit concerned.

"I'm too tired to argue with you tonight, David," Maddie said, rubbing her eyes slightly. "I just want to go to bed." She got up and put on her robe, shivering when the cool air made contact with her skin.

David stopped her as she was headed to the door. "Whoa. Wait a second. I want to know why we're hiding our relationship from your parents like it's a bad thing." He stared into her eyes, searching for an answer.

Maddie sighed. "It's not a bad thing, David. I'm just not ready to - -"

David interrupted her. "Make it public. Seems to me we've played this scene before." He let go of her shoulders. "You don't want to tell anyone, I tell someone, you get confused, run off to Chicago." He stopped pacing and smiled at her with no hint of humor. "You could continue this game and run back to LA......but I can't guarantee I'll play this time, Blondie." With that, David opened the bathroom door and hurried down the hall to the guest room, slamming the door slightly behind him.

Maddie winced and felt the tears start to well up in her eyes again. She wiped at them angrily and slipped on her slippers, padding down the hall to her room.

~ ~ ~

Maddie rolled over onto her back and frowned at the ceiling.

She hadn't meant what she'd said earlier, about the keeping it secret. Their relationship. She smiled at the thought and made herself say it out loud, "Our relationship." She giggled for no reason and slipped out of bed.

Maddie eased open the door to her bedroom and crept out into the hall. She closed the door quietly and tiptoed down to the guest room. Opening the door, she stood in the doorway and watched him sleep for a few moments. The moonlight shined just right and struck his hair, bringing out the various shades of brown in it. What was left of it, anyway.

She walked the rest of the way in and carefully climbed onto the bed, picking up his arm and lying down, she placed his arm around her waist. David leaned closer to her and whispered in her ear, "You're forgiven," right before he rolled her onto her back and brought his mouth down on hers.

~ ~ ~

Maddie was gone when he awoke, but David had known she probably would be. He chuckled. After last night, the bathtub, and then another last night, he was surprised she had found the strength to even get out of bed.

David rolled onto his side and touched the side of the bed where Maddie had been laying just hours before. He was tired of sneaking around. The employees suspected, but didn't know for sure. David had been living with Maddie for a month now, his things were officially at her place, minus the weight bench and his bed - the latter of which had been a piece of crap to begin with.

But the fact that she didn't want anyone else to know baffled and hurt David. He had told her numerous times that he loved her and would go along with anything she wanted, as long as it didn't start with the word pact.

They held hands on cases, and several times, had been close to getting caught kissing in the office. But the staff had no clue how serious it was getting. For that matter, neither did Maddie.

It wasn't that marriage was out of the question, it was just that the subject hadn't been broached since they had lost the baby, and David was hesitant to bring it up again.

David put a hand over his heart and breathed in deeply. He wasn't sure if she was ready for the subject to be brought up again. Hell, he wasn't sure he was ready for the subject to be brought up again.

The ring sat in his coat pocket, nestled safely inside of a blue velvet box, just waiting for the perfect time to present itself. David had seen the ring in the window of a store in the mall and alarm bells had gone off in his head. It was the perfect ring, a diamond solitaire, perfect without being gaudy.

He just needed the perfect time to pop the question. He had actually contemplated it in the moments after they had gotten into the bathtub, but, seeing as how the ring was in his coat pocket and his coat was down the hall.....besides, after a couple of minutes, he had forgotten about it anyway.

But now, it sat like a time bomb, weighting down his pocket, making him second guess himself. David sat up in bed, flinging the covers back, then regretting it when the cold air made contact with his warm skin.

David stretched and pulled on a pair of sweatpants, then, remembering the parents downstairs, pulled on a sweater too. He opened the door and walked down the hallway, whistling.

He stopped at the foot of the stairs and took a deep breath. The smell of eggs and bacon filled the air, and David stood out of sight and watched Maddie and her mother in the kitchen, smiling to himself.

Maddie flipped a piece of bacon onto a paper towel to drain, the look on her face thoughtful. She thoughtlessly placed her hand over her abdomen and grinned. Then, realizing what she was doing, she glanced quickly at her mother.

Mrs. Hayes was, thankfully, making orange juice and seemed oblivious to what Maddie was doing. David watched with a bit of perplexion, but shrugged it off, deciding he'd think about it later.

"Maddie...." Mrs. Hayes started, "I don't mean to pry into your personal life...."

Maddie turned, spatula in hand. "Then don't," she said simply. "Mom, if you're going to ask about David.....I don't know what to tell you."

Mrs. Hayes shook her head. "You two....I don't know what to do with you."

Maddie smiled. "We're working on it. It's just going to take a little time, that's all." It was Maddie's turn to shake her head. "Believe me, you're no more confused than I am."

"Is marriage a possibility, then?"

"Mother!" Maddie laughed in spite of herself. "I don't know. Marriage? To David?" She sighed. "I don't know. It's never really come up." She turned back to the stove. "I suppose that it's a possibility. Yes, it's a definite possibility."

"Well, I'm glad. You two are perfect for one another."

Maddie choked on the orange juice she was attempting to swallow. "Perfect? Me and David? David and me?" She scoffed, "If there were any two people that were less perfect for each other...."

"Well, I don't care what you say, I know what I see." Mrs. Hayes turned around and poured the rest of the orange juice into a pitcher, setting it on the table.

David saw the perfect opening and walked into the kitchen, a smile on his face. "Morning ladies." He kissed Maddie's mother on the cheek and then walked over to Maddie, grinning at her. "Sleep well?" he kissed Maddie lightly on the lips. "I know I did."

Maddie smiled and swatted David's hand away from the bacon sitting on the counter. "That's for breakfast, go sit down."

Despite Maddie's attempt, David snagged a piece of bacon and hurried away with it, just barely missing the swing of the spatula. He laughed and sat down. "You know, at home, we don't let Maddie near the kitchen. She tried to burn it down a couple weeks ago."

Mrs. Hayes eyebrows went up at the 'we'. Maddie just smiled at her and glared at David. "I did NOT try to burn it down....I just...." She blushed and turned back to the stove.

"I have to hear about this one," Mr. Hayes said from the foot of the stairs.

David turned to Maddie's father and grinned. "Well, I'd love to tell it, but...." he looked toward Maddie and smiled.

"Oh, what the hell, go ahead," she said, setting down the spatula and putting the bacon in the oven to keep it warm before taking the seat next to David.

David grinned. "Well, it was about, I don't know, seven or eight in the morning. Maddie was attempting to make breakfast." He shook his head, his grin growing wider. "Apparently, while she was getting the muffins from the oven, an oven mitt dropped in. But at least we had a fire extinguisher handy." He looked over at Maddie, whose cheeks were tinged with a slight pinkish hue and smiled at her.

"I think I'll stick to store bought from now on," she said, not meeting anyone's eye.

~ ~ ~

The day passed with no complications, besides Maddie's being queasy every time she so much as caught a glimpse of food. Filling itself up with stolen kisses and intimate glances between Maddie and David.

If Maddie calculated correctly, she was about three or four weeks pregnant. It had been a little over a month since David had moved his things into her house, so that would make it about right.

She was going to tell him over dinner tonight. Butterflies were swirling in her stomach and she'd decided when he'd told her he was taking her out to dinner.

That had been over two hours ago.

And now, here she stood, staring at herself in the full length mirror with the same butterflies eating away at her self confidence.

How would he react? Would he be happy? Maddie shook her head, trying to clear it. It didn't matter what his reaction was....well, that wasn't exactly true, but she didn't care....well, that wasn't true either.

"Dammit," she said, more a sigh than a curse.

A knock on the door signaled David's arrival. "Maddie? You almost ready?" he called through the door, his hand nervously brushing the sides of his suit.

He was going to ask her tonight. No more waiting. No more hesitating. No more! He didn't know what he'd do if she said no, but he felt he had to ask. He loved her, she loved him....what the hell was their problem?

David's thoughts were interrupted by the door opening. Maddie stood in the doorway, dressed in a simple white gown that reached her ankles with a slit up to her thigh that was only visible when she walked.

He whistled and handed her the rose. "Why have I never seen this before?" he asked with raised eyebrows.

Maddie smiled and sniffed the delicate red flower. "I've been saving it for a special occasion," she replied with a twinkle in her eyes, "and tonight seemed special enough."

David smiled and held out his arm. "Shall we, Ms. Hayes?"

Maddie's smile widened. "My pleasure, Mr. Addison."

~ ~ ~

David pulled the car into the nearest parking space and turned the engine off. Turning to Maddie, he said, "We're here."

Maddie looked at the restaurant before her and frowned in confusion. "David, do you know where we are?" she questioned lightly.

He nodded. "Yep. The Hamburger Palace." He pulled the emergency brake up on the car. "Now come on, I'm hungry."

Her confusion deepened. "But...."

David was already out of the car and walking around to her side. He opened her door for her and took her hand as she got out. They walked hand in hand to the front door of the 'restaurant', eliciting more than a couple odd looks on their way there.

As they sat down at a table in the back corner, David grinned. "You're probably wondering - -"

"What we're doing here? You could say that," she replied with a smile.

"Well - -"

David was interrupted by a waiter coming up to the table, two plates in his hand. He placed one in front of David and one in front of Maddie, smiled, then left.

Maddie glanced up at David. "We didn't order," she said.

David grinned. "I know. But now you know what it's like to go out for cheeseburgers. That's two out of...how many?"

The perplexion didn't disappear from her face.

"Just one of the many things you said. You didn't know what it felt like to go shopping, we've done that. You said you didn't know what it was like to go for cheeseburgers....now we've done that too." He grinned, obviously happy with himself.

Maddie couldn't help but grin. "Hell of a memory, Addison," she commented before picking up her cheeseburger and taking a bite.

They ate in silence, besides the occasional small talk. It was about thirty minutes later that David finally got up enough nerve to pull the small velvet box out of his pocket. It was another five minutes before he was able to muster enough courage to actually get out of his seat and walk calmly over to hers.

"David, are you OK?" Maddie asked, a bit alarmed at his sudden rising. She watched as he took a deep breath and her eyes widened as he bent down on one knee. "David...."

Bringing the box out from behind his back, David set it on the table and took Maddie's hand. "Madolyn Hayes, you are the best thing that ever walked into my office.....will you marry me?" He reached for the ring box and opened it.

Maddie's breath caught in her throat as she stared down at the ring. She hadn't been expecting this. Now, she didn't know how to react.

"David....it's beautiful....I don't know what to say," she admitted with a small embarrassed smile.

"Well, you're in luck, because I know what you should say," he replied, smiling nervously, he slipped the ring onto her finger. "Say yes, Maddie."

Maddie grinned suddenly and her eyes filled with tears. "Yes, Maddie."

David stayed on bended knee for the next few seconds, trying to figure out if he'd just dreamed the last few minutes. But seeing the tears and the big smile on Maddie's face, he jumped up and pulled her from the chair, kissing her.

There was clapping and cheering around them and Maddie pulled away from him and looked around. All eyes were on them, most of the women were crying, and the men were watching with grins.

"I think we have their approval," David whispered in Maddie's ear. "Let's get out of here."

David paid the waiter and, taking Maddie's hand, they left the restaurant.

~ ~ ~

"Where are you taking us?" David asked thirty minutes later as Maddie maneuvered her mother's car onto a dirt road.

"You'll see, it's not that much farther, I promise," she said. Suddenly, there was a loud bang and the car skidded.

They sat in the silence for a couple of minutes before David spoke up. "I take it we're here?" His answer was a glare. "OK, maybe not."

"I think we blew a tire," Maddie said, opening her car door.

David got out and went to stand beside Maddie, who was standing next to the right front tire. "Looks blown to me," he said, kicking it.

There was a clicking sound behind David and a voice said. "Your hands above your head, if you please."

David turned around slowly, finding himself facing a nervous looking little man with a weasely face, holding a gun.

"Look, man, I don't want to hurt anyone, just give me your wallet." The little man with the weasely face reached out for David's wallet. He opened it and sighed in disgust at the lack of money. "What, do you work for the government or something?"

David smiled. "Something like that."

The little man frowned at him and then turned his gaze on Maddie. "OK, Blondie, hand over your purse." Maddie flinched only slightly at the name calling. With David, it was more of an endearment than insult, but the way the man said it made Maddie feel dirty.

She once again looked at the gun, though, and handed over her purse without another word, placing her hand protectively over her abdomen in the process. The man looked around and spied the diamond solitaire on Maddie's finger. "Now the ring."

David took a step towards the man. "Not the ring," he said menacingly.

"Hey, who's holding the gun here? That's right, me!" He pointed to himself with the muzzle of the gun, then suddenly realized his mistake and pointed it back at David. "Now, hand over the ring."

"I said, not the ring," David reinstated defiantly.

The man pointed the gun at Maddie. "Come on, Lady, I don't want to have to shoot anyone." He cocked the pistol.

There was a burst of sound and the man went sprawling back. He stood in horror until, finally, he realized what he'd done. "Oh, dear God, I shot her." He looked at David and said it again, then went running off into the woods.

~ ~ ~

David saw her body jerk, heard her startled gasp, felt the air whoosh past him as the bullet whizzed by. But, in shock, he just stood there, willing her in his mind to get up.

Suddenly, as if pushed by some unknown force, David knelt next to Maddie. There was blood everywhere. He'd never seen so much blood.

David's body took over his actions, he was working on pure instinct, her life depended on it. He quickly untied his tie and as gently as he could, wrapped it around her shoulder, trying to stop the blood flow.

He shifted her body and picked her up, cuddling her against his chest. Maddie moaned and then stilled. David's heart beat a rapid staccato in his chest, "I'm here, baby, you're going to be fine." he slowly stood and began walking quickly down the road.

"Maddie," he said to her as he walked. "Maddie. Come on, Blondie, this isn't the time to be stubborn, answer me!"

Nothing. No words came out of her mouth, her eyes didn't open to show the beautiful sparkle they held. Nothing.

He pulled her even tighter against his chest, holding her as tightly as he could. He began to run. He felt his shoe fly off of his foot, and he kicked the other off as well. His stockinged feet pounded down the side of the road, looking for a sign, any sign, of life. His heart beat in his throat, he could smell the steely odor of blood.

Her blood.

Each breath was a fight. Each stride desperation. He kept running, his arms were numb. His legs ached. His throat burned. Though he didn't know if it was from exertion or emotion.

He looked down at her face. It was gray. Her lips were lax and chalky. He couldn't feel her breathe. He wanted to feel her heart beat.

He couldn't stop, he just ran.

Had he told her today? Had he said it? Had he told her he loved her? "I love you," he said in a rasp of breath. "Can you hear me? Don't ever doubt those words, Maddie. I mean them, more and more each day. I love you."

Every breath he took, he said it, "I love you."

Every step he took, he said it, "I love you."

He looked down at her, seeing nothing with his eyes, but seeing all with his memory; The first time in his office. The first time in her bed. Suddenly, he could remember every fight they'd ever had. Every word out of hate that should have been said in love. Waking up next to her every morning for the past month. Seeing her face just a few short hours ago when he'd presented her with the ring. Seeing his toothbrush next to hers in the bathroom and his blue razor beside her pink one.

He saw a woman that, no matter how hard she tried, couldn't quite pull off the act of being completely cold and uncaring. He saw the woman that had traveled all the way to New York to be with him. He saw the woman who could take one look at him and know what he was thinking. Who knew how he liked his coffee; what he ate for breakfast.

He saw the woman that, after making love, would throw on his shirt and go down to the kitchen for a snack. He saw the future mother of his children.

David ran faster.

As he ran, he begged silently.

Please God, don't take her. He promised penance and faith.

Just save her. He offered wealth.

Take anything you want, just don't take her. He promised things that had once meant so much.

Take everything. He promised anything.

I'll be anything for her, I swear. Just don't take her from me. Even himself.

Living without her wasn't an option. It was more terrifying than anything he could ever imagine. David stared up at the sky and, one of the few times in his life, used the Lord's name in vain. "God dammit! You listen to me. Listen, damn you." His voice trailed off. "Please listen. Someone." He looked down at her. "You have to be all right, don't die on me. Not now."

He began to cry then. The harder he ran, the harder he cried.

"David." It was barely a whisper, but he heard it as well as felt it. Her eyes were open.

"Oh, God, Maddie. Can you hear me?"

Her face was wet from his tears. "Are you crying?"

"Yeah," he admitted without any hint of being ashamed.

"Thought so." She paused. "You were yelling, David."

"Only because I thought you weren't listening, baby."

Her only answer was a ragged breath.

"I love you."

There was no answer.

"I love you," he said louder, above the pounding of his feet on the pavement, above the pounding of his heart on his ribs.

"I know." Her eyes drifted closed.

He ran and ran, onward, down the never ending road, not knowing how far, not knowing how long. Only knowing he had to.

David felt the ground change and found himself staring down a hill at the lights of Chicago. Giving a shout of joy, he started down the hill.

~ ~ ~

David pushed through the doors of the hospital and stopped, his numb body coming back to life with the invasion of heat.

Recovering in an instant, he ran the rest of the way to the nurses station, oblivious to the stares of onlookers.

The nurse looked up and started in surprise, "Sir?"

"Help her, please," he said, his voice scratchy and desperate in his ears. "She's been shot. Please help her." David could feel the tears running down his face, but he didn't pay attention to them. Dear God, what was taking the woman so long, Maddie was dying, HIS Maddie, and she was moving in slow motion.

It seemed hours later when the doctor came out, hurriedly wheeling a gurney. "Is she your wife?" he asked David as he examined Maddie.

"No," David replied.

The doctor stopped his exam for a moment and looked at David. "What is your relationship to the victim, Sir?"

Running a hand through his hair, David shook his head. "Will she be all right?"

"I'm going to have to ask you to call her family...."

David felt his temper slipping. "There are not words to explain what this woman means to me," he said, choking on the statement. "Please, will she be OK?"

The doctor ignored David's question and motioned for the nurses that were standing by. "Get her to surgery, NOW." He turned back to David. "You'll need to fill out some paperwork."

David grabbed the man by the front of his coat. "Is she going to be all right?" he repeated, his teeth gritted, murder in his eyes.

The doctor slowly extracted David's fingers and looked at him with pity, "That remains to be seen, Mr....?"

"Addison," David supplied, seeing that committing manslaughter wasn't going to help Maddie. "Where's the paperwork?"

~ ~ ~

David wearily finished filling out the last form and slammed down the pen and clip board holding the infuriating things onto the counter. He had just about had enough of everyone, he couldn't get a straight answer out of anyone, just that it still 'remained to be seen'.

He glared at the nurse behind the cubicle wall and starting wandering down the corridor. He got to the surgery doors and made a quick decision.

He pushed through the doors and came to a halt when he saw Maddie lying on the table. The doctor turned at his entrance and settled his gaze upon David with an angry but sympathetic glare. "Mr. Addison, there is nothing you can do to help us save her life, but if you stay, you might help us lose it," he said bluntly.

David nodded his head, the tears still flowing freely down his face. "You'll let me know...."

The doctor clapped David on the shoulder sympathetically. "Of course."

David walked a few feet to the door and looked back, the pain making his eyes glow, "I asked her to marry me tonight," he said dumbly, wiping a tear from his cheek. He walked out of the operating room and slumped into a waiting room chair. He must have been more exhausted than he thought, David fell into a dreamless sleep.

~ ~ ~

David awoke with a start, "Maddie!"

But he wasn't in their bed at home, he wasn't at the bed at her parents house, and the face he saw wasn't Maddie's. "Doctor...." But David didn't have to ask, the sympathy and pain in the his eyes were enough.

The tears started again. "She's gone, isn't she?"

The doctor shook his head. "Not yet. She's slipping though. She wants to see you."

David nodded and stood up from the chair, stretching his muscles and trying to think about a life without her. Waking up without seeing her face, never hearing her laugh, never kissing her again. He followed the doctor through a pair of double doors and there she was.

Maddie was lying on a table, her once pearl white dress now stained an awful red. She was paler than David had ever seen her, her blonde hair was matted with sweat and stained a little red from where David had touched her.

He toOK a deep breath and walked the rest of the way to the bed. "Maddie?" he said quietly, his voice a slight rasp. He cleared it and tried again, "Maddie?"

She turned her head ever so slightly. "David."

David sat in the chair beside her bed. "You look beautiful," he said with as much of a smile as he could muster.

Maddie grinned. "I look like shit, David."

"We all have our moments," he said with a slight frown.

Maddie laughed shortly. "David, promise me something."

"Anything."

"Find someone," was all she said, but it brought more tears to his eyes and he wiped at them hastily.

"Hell, Maddie....." he started.

"Don't argue with me about this, Addison. I know you, I know you'll mope and be depressed." She coughed slightly. "I want you to be happy."

"I am happy, Maddie. I'm happier than I've ever been, and when you get better....."

"David.....I'm not getting better." She winced at the pain on his face, the pain had left her body, she felt nothing. "I love you, David."

The machine by the bed started to beep rapidly, and the lines started to get jagged. A nurse came running into the room, followed by three doctors. "Mr. Addison, please wait outside."

David stood back, but refused to leave the room, and, as he watched them try to save her life, he cried silently.

What ravages of spirit
Conjured this temptuous rage
Created you a monster
BrOKen by the rules of love
And fate has lead you through it
You do what you have to do
And fate has led you through it
You do what you have to do ...

And I have the sense to recognize that
I don't know how to let you go
Every moment marked
With apparitions of your soul
I'm ever swiftly moving
Trying to escape this desire
The yearning to be near you
I do what I have to do
The yearning to be near you
I do what I have to do
But I have the sense to recognize

That I don't know how
To let you go
I don't know how
To let you go

A glowing ember
Burning hot
Burning slow
Deep within I'm shaken by the violence
Of existing for only you

I know I can't be with you
I do what I have to do
I know I can't be with you
I do what I have to do
And I have sense to recognize but
I don't know how to let you go
I don't know how to let you go
I don't know how to let you go


David couldn't stand it any longer. The machine was one continuously long beep and he knew what that meant. No one was doing anything. She was dying, and no one was doing anything.

"Do something, damn you!" he yelled to the doctors standing by. "She's dying, do something to save her!"

All of the doctors turned and gave him looks of sympathy, one approached. "We're doing all we can, Mr. Addison. Please, wait out - -"

David jerked out of his grasp. "She's flatlining, dammit. Do something!"

"Clear!" Maddie's body raised off of the table and suddenly, the infernal beeping stopped.

David felt a tear slide down his cheek, but he didn't seem to notice, or he didn't seem to care. He watched as they pulled a white sheet over her head and listened as the time of death was announced. And then David Addison did something he'd never done before: he fainted.