Disclaimer - I own nothing you recognise.
Written for Ancient Runes Assignment 7. (The number 7 must be significant) Prompt - Green.
Written for the Duelling Club Competition - Round 2 Harry Potter Quote - "My eyes aren't glistening with the ghosts of my past!"
Seven Reasons
Dear Harry,
You're lying in my bed as I sit down to write this, and that is part of the problem. I shouldn't have allowed myself to want you, to care about you, to love you. I shouldn't, but I have, and that makes this all the harder to write. All that I ask is that you read this through to the end, and that you don't hate me when you finish.
There are reasons, so many reasons why I love you. I'll list the main ones for you to boost your ego, not that you need it, eh Brat?
The first time I knew I was heading for disaster was in your fourth year. I'm sure you remember. I watched you a lot that year. Anyway, you were pulled from my class for the weighing of the wands, and I was so irritated. Irrationally irritated to be perfectly honest, but you always made me irrational. It's part of your charm, I'm sure.
So, I stormed up to the room as soon as the class was over, and surprise surprise, you were nowhere to be seen. I asked Dumbledore where you were, and suddenly, from a broom cupboard, (I never heard the story of how you ended up in there), I heard you shout, "My eyes aren't glistening with the ghosts of my past!".
Like I said, I'm sure you remember. There was something desperate, so desperate about the way you said it, that I found myself leaving without giving you any grief. I guess I didn't want to add to the obvious pressure you were feeling. That day, and the days following the article being released, my perception of you started to change drastically.
I had obviously been wrong about you. You clearly hated reporters. So, that's your first reason.
The second reason, and I know you hate this, is your eyes. You have no need to worry, as I have told you countless times, they do not remind me of your mother. They are the same shade of green as hers, but that is where the similarities end. Your mother was rather good as shielding her emotions, whereas you are not. Whenever you are happy, your eyes sparkle with joy. When you are angry, they darken, and there is a fire there that I have never seen. When you are sad, they go dull, and it has become my reason to live to make sure that those beautiful emerald eyes never go dull again.
Yes, I'm turning into a sappy Hufflepuff.
The third reason I love you so, is your mind. It's different to any I've ever known. You possess intelligence in spades, something I failed to realise for a long time I know, but you didn't make that difficult for me, did you? You could have been so far ahead of your peers, and yet you were comfortable being mediocre. That annoyed me. It still annoys me at times, even though I know the reason.
Your loyalty is flawless. You wanted Miss Granger to shine, and you didn't want to overshine Mr Weasley either. I can't tell you how irritatingly selfless that is, and yet you still don't understand just how much you gave your friends. Ask them, because I know they agree with me. You gave Miss Granger confidence, and you made Mr Weasley feel like he wasn't useless. So there is the fourth reason as well. Your loyalty to everyone you hold dear.
The fifth reason is a little more... personal. You light up my life, Harry, more than anything else could or would. You smile, and it makes me smile. You laugh, and it is all I can do to hold my reputation together and not laugh with you. I see you at lunch with your friends, and it makes me happy to see you happy, to see you finally free.
I've been watching you come into your own this last year, Harry. It makes me proud, but it scares me. You look so much more comfortable in your own skin without the war hanging over you. You're looking at all these amazing opportunities to travel, to go into a career you will love, to grow even more as a person. The sixth reason I love you Harry, is because you are staying true to who you are and not letting the elevated fame go to your head. You are the loyal, generous, kind and caring person you've always been.
Not that I realised that until it was almost too late.
So, I've given you six reasons why I love you. Why I adore you. Why it will kill me to finish this letter the way I know I must.
The Seventh Reason. The reason I'm sitting at my desk in the middle of the night when I could be lay next to you, holding you close. The reason why tears would be coursing down my cheeks if I allowed them too.
You are young, and you have so much going for you. You are beautiful, and have so much potential to be even more special than you already are. I'm holding you back, Harry. I'm sure you're reading this, and calling me an idiot. Yet, in the back of your mind, you also know that everything I say is correct. You need to go out into the world Harry, and find what makes you happy. You need space from me to allow you do everything you want to do in life, without being worried that I'm sitting at home waiting for you.
The say if you love something, to let it go. If it's truly yours, it'll come back to you. So go out into the world Harry, and enjoy your life. When you feel it's time to settle down, if you still want me, if you still love me, come home to me. I'll wait for you.
I love you.
Severus.
