HAY GUISE 8D It's me again. Lmao, I think I'm gonna have a habit of just throwing random drabbles on when I've got nothing better to do and I'm still not satisfied with the BIG chaptered story. Sorry! It can't be helped! I'm picky and easily distracted and and um.. oh yeah.. it IS the first chaptered story I've done in YEARS. So yah. There's that.
In the meantime, enjoy some lulz, ooc-ness, and just enough cute to blow a few brain cells. Not enough to give ya diabeetus but CLOSE. (And who knows, if this keeps going.. it MIGHT get up to those levels..)
Now, to make things clear, no I did not have a good reason for coming up with this plot. It just.. happened. Yeah. I guess my only excuse is that I was ranting my my livejournal, needed an example of some random story prompt.. and here ya go. Instant fanfiction crack.
ENOUGH FROM ME. READ, DAMMIT.
Oh yeah, and..
I OWN NOTHING.
8)
"Joker..? What in the.. the world are YOU doing out here.. in-in broad daylight? Everyone's lookin' for you!" Thomas Schiff hissed, trying to urgently push his ex-boss into an alleyway near by.
The Joker let himself be pushed a moment, his brain being unable to compute the schizophrenic being out here in the open.. no strings attached. But he soon recovered and whirled around to grab the man's scalp. He forced the little ex-bootlicker to look up into his face.
"I could say the same about you, Schiffy." He smirked cheekily at the twitch the odd pet-name gave the other man.
"Don't.. don't call me that! And I actually worked my way out." Thomas wrestled himself out of the stronger man's grip and backed up a few feet, hopefully out of harms way, but continued to glare up at the clown he once.. trusted.
"Aaawww," Joker crooned, "they've loosened the leash a little more? So where'd they place the tracker? The bark collar, hm?" And he tried to get closer again.
Thomas Schiff sneered and stumbled away more. "Look, I-I-I don't want anymore trouble, bo-Joker..." He nearly jumped out of his skin when the man let out a whoop and a gaggle of giggles.
"Trouble? Trouble? Trouble, trouble trouble! No, nooo I don't think I'll be the one causing you any trouble, now Schiffy." He snuck his hand over real quick-like to pat the man's head almost fondly. "You chose to bend to their will, and they chose to reward you.. as much as they could. But now that you've managed this far, what'dya think's gonna happen next? Hmm?"
"I'm going to go home, to my.. to my new home.. and forget this meeting ever ha-happened!" Ugh, he was turning red under the neck and on the ears. He only stuttered THIS much when around THIS particular man.
Another giggle bubbled up and Joker swayed back slightly on his heels, hands in pockets. "Oh yeah, sure. I'll bet you'll make it home fine.. just fine, Thommmas." He rumbled out, eyes sharp on the other, "And as soon as the lights go out, and you're all curled up in bed... well.. let's just say.." He lifted his hands and adjusted his gloves casually, "you might just wake up far, far awaaay from home."
Eyes bulging at the thought, Thomas' skin began to break out in a sweat that could be seen from across the road, even.
"Aww, don't worry, though." He reached out again with one of those big gloved hands and, this time, gently pushed some hair back from his forehead.. soothingly, "I know you're used to that sort of thing happening, right? Just think of all the things that happened to ya when you were with me!"
"H-Ha-Harvey Dent kidnapped me.. almost.. sh-shot me." The man's dark eyes darted around.
Joker nodded casually, "Yeahh, I remember that.. Well, I remember you telling me about the whole little adventure while I drove you back to the hideout! In fact, you told me twice!" He grinned almost charmingly, despite the yellow teeth he bared at Schiff.
"Oh! Yeah.. I remember that. I.." He looked slowly up at the Joker, right into those soulless eyes, and felt like he might collapse there on the sidewalk.
"What?" The clown asked, his voice lowering to a hiss, but his smile still in place and his eyes glittering, "Something on your... mind?"
The man closed the distance between them and hugged the clown seconds later.
Joker immediately put his hands between them to push him slightly away. "Whoa, whoa whoa. Tommy. C'mon, now.. you know you can't just do that... and get away with it." He tried to look absolutely serious.. but it was really hard with this one. Christ, was he adorable.
"What are you gonna do?" His voice was much more softer than Thomas' had been, and his eyes wider. Much wider.
"I guess I'll have to... kidnap you." He managed to say it with a straight face. Oh, I so deserve to get an Oscar for this.
The man mere inches in front of him went stiff a moment, face frozen.. until he melted into a little.. childishly mischievous grin that a grown man should not be able to pull.
"Where will we go?" He lowered his voice even more, whispering and dramatically looking around.
"Weeeelll..." The clown drawled out, "before I ran into you, I was on my way to the store for some, uh milk."
"...Milk?"
"Yeah. Milk." They looked into each other's eyes again, and Joker's had a look that said "You have a problem with a clown wanting to get a dairy product?"
"Okay!" Tommy quickly approved, and turned to face the way he'd came and started walking, instantly expecting the other would be on tow.
Joker watched him a moment.. his face going.. unusually sullen.
"..He's gotta be on some tracking device." He muttered and sighed.
