Chapter 1
Genre: Angst and hopefully eventually shipperiness.
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, I simply make them dance to my tune. When I'm done I will return them to the rightful owners DP Bellisario and CBS.
Harm pulled his overcoat closer as he sat on the park bench watching the people around him. It was unseasonably cold for an early December morning in Washington, but Harm didn't mind the cold weather. In fact, the overcast sky and chill wind matched his mood perfectly. With a deep sigh he tried to wrest his thoughts away from Maddie leaving, and how close it was to another Christmas, alone. He was the one who forced Maddie to reconcile with her father, he was the reason they were able to give it another shot. Her leaving to return to her father lay solely with him. But it really was for the best; he just didn't expect it to feel like a part of him was missing. Sure, he'd see her on weekends, and most holidays, but it wasn't the same. With a slow shake of his head Harm stood up from the bench and turned his collar up against the wind. With a slow, measured pace he began to wander through the park, trying not to let his attention fix on the people around him; everywhere he looked lately all he saw were couples. Old couples at the end of a good life together, new couples starting down that sometimes rocky road. He hated that he felt as if everyone in the world had someone except him.
The shrill chirp of his cell phone shattered his morose thoughts. "Should have turned it off," he muttered as he flipped it open. "Rabb."
"Harm? It's Mac. Where are you? Staff briefing started ten minutes ago and the General is about to blow a gasket if you don't get in here, pronto," the voice of his sometimes partner came over the line in a hurried hush.
"Yeah. Look Mac, let me handle the General. If he asks, tell him I'm sick and I'll be in later."
"Harm? What's wrong?" Mac asked, instantly knowing that something was up with her friend. He may be the last one in the office usually, but he would never skip out on a staff meeting.
"Like I said Mac, I'm not feeling that great. I'll be in the office in a bit," Harm answered with barely masked exasperation.
"Harm is it Maddie?"
"Good bye Mac," Harm decided it was best just to end the conversation and flipped his phone shut. Making sure that it was shut off this time he shoved the device back into his overcoat pocket and continued his slow walk.
Sometime between the early hours of the previous night and when he woke up that morning Harm had made a decision. He wasn't sure if it was a dream or not, but the words his grandmother had given him so long ago had rung loud and clear in his mind. And they still echoed there, reinforcing the decision he'd made.
Turning suddenly he strode crisply back towards his car, his step sure and his shoulders squared. He knew what he had to do, he knew what was best for everyone. And after all, did it really matter what he wanted? His mother had raised him as a gentleman, and didn't a gentleman put the needs of others before his own desires?
"Commander Rabb you had better have a damned good reason for being this late this morning!" General Creswell thundered. When his subordinate simply stood before his desk ramrod straight with his eyes fixed on a point on the wall behind him, the General moved out from behind his desk. "Well mister? What was it this time? Helping a little old lady cross the street? Damn it Rabb, I have had it up to here with you and your antics."
"Then perhaps this will help, sir." Harm spoke for the first time since entering the General's office. Shifting his eyes from the wall to look at his superior officer Harm held out the folder he had brought into the office with him.
"What the hell is this?" Creswell barked as he opened the folder and looked at the letter inside. "A request for terminal leave? Do not make the mistake to believe me to be Admiral Chegwidden! There will be no eleventh hour reprieves for you this time Rabb, no sudden TADs to the CIA. I sign off on this and you're gone, do you understand me mister?"
"I realize that, and respect that, sir," Harm answered crisply as his eyes returned to the point on the wall he had been staring at.
"What the hell brought this about Rabb? You're too damn close to your twenty, why are you resigning your commission?" When Harm didn't reply General Creswell sighed and moved to retake the seat behind his desk. How the hell did Chegwidden deal with this pilot turned lawyer turned spy turned lawyer? "Well?"
"Personal reasons, sir." Harm answered stiffly.
"Personal reasons?"
"Personal reasons, sir."
"Do these 'personal reasons' have to do with anyone in this office?" Creswell asked shrewdly. He'd bet Rabb and Mackenzie had been in another dust up.
"Not directly, sir. Honestly, my grandmother is getting on in age, and needs someone to help her out around the farm. I guess you could say it was a family obligation, sir."
'Not directly my ass' Creswell thought. "Couldn't you just hire someone Rabb? A farmhand or handyman or something?"
"I could sir, but well…" Harm paused.
"Well what? Spit it out mister!"
"Sir, have you ever had the feeling you're doing more harm to those around you than good? That maybe it was time that you moved on? That you're supposed to be somewhere else?"
"Ran away you mean? Whatever; I don't have time for this Rabb. Request approved. COATES!"
"Yes General?" Petty Officer First Class Jennifer Coates answered immediately as she stepped through the General's doorway.
"Process this request ASAP" Creswell ordered as he scrawled his approval at the bottom of Harm's letter and handed it to his yeoman.
"Request, sir?" Coates asked with confusion, darting a glance over at Harm as he stood at attention.
"Yes Petty Officer, a request. I have approved it, you are to forward it to BEUPERS in today's mail bag. When they receive it a clerk will process it. Would you like me to show you how to put a request letter into the mail bag?"
"Ah, that won't be necessary, sir. Aye, aye, sir" Coates said crisply coming to attention.
"That will be all Commander Rabb" Creswell dismissed the lawyer.
"Thank you, sir. I can honestly say it has been…interesting sir" Harm offered as he held out his hand.
"Get out of my office you coward" Creswell growled without looking up from the stack of paperwork he was focused on. "Clean out your desk and consider yourself on leave until your terminal leave orders are cut."
Stiffening at being called a coward Harm clamped his jaw shut before he had the chance to say anything that would get him called up on charges before his request for terminal leave was processed. Rigidly he turned and strode from the General's office and proceeded across the bullpen studiously ignoring the looks Petty Officer Coates was shooting him.
Quietly he looked around his office and thought how fortunate it was that he hadn't unpacked most of the boxes since trading offices with Sturgis. Reverently he placed his yellow Steerman model on top of the box that held most of his personal belongings. He'd have to come back for the rest of his belongings; he could arrange that with Coates before he left. A hesitant knock on the door brought his attention from his thoughts. Looking over his shoulder he saw the General's yeoman standing hesitantly in his doorway with tears in her eyes.
"Jennifer? Are you alright?" Harm asked in concern, guiding the young woman to one of his visitor's chairs.
"How can you ask that, sir?"
"What do you mean?"
"You're leaving!" Coates blurted as the tears began to fall softly.
"Yeah, yeah I am" Harm answered sadly as he brushed her tears away.
"Is it because of me sir? Because of Pia? Because I'm moving?"
"No Jen, it's not because of you. In fact you're one of the reasons I stayed as long as I did" Harm said softly.
"Then why, sir?"
"Jen, I just resigned my commission, don't you think we can dispense with the sirs?" Harm said wryly and then looked up at the sound of a stack of papers hitting the floor. "Commander."
"Sir?" Lieutenant Commander Bud Roberts said with shock evident upon his face.
"Come on in Bud. Close the door behind you."
"Ah, I don't want to intrude sir…" Bud started to say flustered.
"Nonsense, Bud. You were going to find out soon enough anyway."
"That you resigned your commission sir?"
"Where is Petty Officer COATES!" the General's voice boomed out over the bull pen.
"Well, that's your cue Jen" Harm said wryly. Pulling a tissue from the box on his desk he handed it to the young woman. "Let's wipe those tears away and I'll see you when you get home tonight. We'll talk then."
With a silent nod Jen stood up and left Harm's office with a hesitant step.
"Why sir?" Bud asked quietly as they watched Jen make her way over to her desk and apologize to the General. Bud just didn't understand; Harm had left twice before, but once was for flying and once was for the Colonel; the two things he loved more than anything.
"Because it's time Bud" Harm answered thoughtfully as he stooped to pick up the box with the yellow bi plane on top. Stopping beside the younger man Harm took a moment to squeeze his friend's shoulder. "I'll stop by to see you and Harriet and the boys this weekend Bud. Before I go."
"Where are you going sir? Aren't you going to wait for the Colonel to get out of court? What about Commander Turner, sir? Sir? Harm? Where are you going?"
"To find where I belong, Bud" Harm whispered to himself as he left the JAG office without looking back. If he would have looked back he would have seen a very confused Marine Lieutenant Colonel standing outside one of the courtrooms watching his retreating back.
