Author's note: I own nothing here. If I owned Mario, I probably wouldn't be writing this in the first place. This is my first fanfic, so please review and tell me how I did. The slanted parts are flashbacks. Enjoy!

Bowser's Funeral.

Scene: a koopa is talking about Bowser at his funeral.

"We all knew Bowser in life. We all knew how tough he was. If you don't believe me, just look at all the times he should've died but didn't. Like the time he fell into lava."

Bowser ran out onto the bridge. "Bwahahaha! I have the princess, and now no one can stop me!" Just then, Mario ran out of nowhere and jumped on the button that made the bridge collapse. "AAAAAAAAA! Curse you, Mario!" Bowser cried out as he fell into the lava, which burned away all his flesh, leaving just the skeleton.

"Or the time he fell into lava from 100 floors up," the koopa continued.

Bowser was in a flying vehicle at the top of his castle. He was going to kill Mario this time. "It's time for you to die, Mario!" he called out. As soon as he said this, a star randomly flew out of the sky and hit him. "What the-" he shouted as about 30 more stars hit him. "Curse you, Mario!" he called out as he fell off his flying machine, down his 100-floor tower, and into another pit of lava.

"Or the time he fell from space," the koopa continued again.

Bowser was in his flying machine again, laughing at Mario's pitiful attempts to bring him down. "You'll never win, Mario! I'm too good!" As Bowser sat there, laughing, Mario charged up the star rod one more time, and hit Bowser with a giant energy ball, causing him to start falling down to earth, shouting out,"AAAAAAA! Curse you, Mar-" But then Mario cut him off by shouting,"Get a new line, you stupid reptile!" before unnecessarily hitting Bowser with another energy ball, causing him to catch fire and explode when he hit the ground.

"Or the time he-" the koopa started, but was cut off when the crowd shouted,"Get on with it!"

"My point is," the koopa continued,"I don't think anyone could have predicted how he would die."

"How did he die?" one of the koopas asked.

Bowser was stomping along, being angry with everything, when he slipped on a banana peel that randomly appeared out of nowhere. He fell on his face and died.

"Uuummm," the koopa said,"I can't really tell you that. But I can tell you that it was a heroic death."

Suddenly, Bowser got up, looked around, and said,"Who died a heroic death?"

"Quiet, Bowser, you're interrupting your funeral," the koopa said.

"What are you talking about?" Bowser asked, staring.

"Bowser, you're interrupting your fun-" then the koopa seemed to realize something. He looked at Bowser and said "Bowser! You're alive!"

"Of course I am, you imbecile," growled Bowser. "Did you really think that would kill me?"

"Uuummm..." the koopa responded.

"Exactly," Bowser growled, and got out of the coffin and started walking away. Then a banana peel randomly appeared again, and Bowser started to fall again. "AAAAAAA! Curse you, Ma-" he shouted, and was cut off when Mario appeared randomly, said "I said get a new line, you pathetic excuse for a turtle!" Then Mario shot Bowser in the face with a rocket launcher that he pulled out of nowhere, then ran away.

"What just happened?" the koopa wondered out loud.

The End

Read and review. Again, this is my first fanfic, so no flames, please. Just let me know how good it was.