Disclaimer: The Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea characters are not mine, just borrowed for this story.

Reviews are always welcome.

Now You're Here, Now You're Not

The day was cold and angry storm clouds hung in the air. The sweet smell of freshly cut grass was carried on the gentle breeze that blew through the yard. The assembled crowd were all focused on the current speaker, except for Lee Crane who was lost in his own thoughts.

This is my fault. I should have tried harder; there must have been a way to prevent this. Where there signs that I missed? Another solution? There has to be something I could have done differently. It wasn't supposed to end like this. How am I going to go on without him, how's Seaview going to go on without him?

Had he taken it for granted that they would always come through it all. The crew was a tight knit family that had experienced loss before but it seemed that loss was something that rarely occurred. Despite the deadly missions, the crew more often than not returned safely home. They were Nelson's handpicked crew. They are the best. He is the best. No, is describes someone who's here, someone alive. No, now it's was; he was the best. Was his death founded on complacency? Maybe they all had become too comfortable with the idea they would always return, that they were comfortable with the odds. Maybe if they had pushed just a little harder; been on guard a little better, they could have saved him. That wasn't fair, Lee knew the crew pulled out all the stops to try and pull off this mission. Then why had they failed? That wasn't fair either, the crew didn't fail. Crane could only see fault in one person: himself. He had failed, and it cost someone he loved their life.

Cranes thoughts had been the same since it happened, full of self blame. The events of the last week had culminated in tragic results for the crew of the mighty submarine Seaview. One of their own would no longer be with them. It was a loss felt by the entire crew and the others assembled here today for the memorial.

Will Jamieson listened to the kind words spoken about their fallen comrade while keeping an eye on this captain. The doctor was concerned about how Crane was taking this loss. To lose someone so close to him and as a result of an order he had to give. Jamieson could emphasize somewhat with the situation. There had been times during a crisis when he himself had to make a decision on who he could save and who he could not, who stood the best chance and who didn't. Even with the knowledge that he did what was deemed right it didn't ease the guilt and the moments of self doubt that followed. He could see those same thoughts and feeling on the Captain now.

The whole situation was unthinkable. To have Lee make a decision like that. To choose who to try and rescue; Admiral Nelson or Commander Morton, Jamie thought. He made a mental note to speak to Crane after the service and try again to convince the young officer that this was not his fault, that he had done the right thing, he had done what his position of command dictated. Unfortunately, it had resulted in the loss of a very dear friend.


****Ten Days Earlier****

Nelson's Office at NIMR 1400Hours

"This new underwater base will be equipped with the most modern technology, both defensive and offensive weapons. Seaview is scheduled to arrive at the base on Wednesday where Drs. Malcolm, Highner and Shaw will be escorted over and can start running preliminary tests with Archer and Chip," instructed Nelson, "Chip will coordinate the tests between the base and Seaview." Nelson took another drag off of his cigarette and leaned back in his chair.

Crane sat on the other side of the Admiral's desk listening to the details of their next mission. The top secret base had been built last month and was now ready to start the trails on the new computer system designed to detect ship movement at greater distances and launch counter measures against possible attacks to allied vessels in the area. The mission was top secret but seemed straight forward enough.

"And you will be heading to New York on Saturday for the conference?" asked Crane.

"Yes, I will be taking the Flying Sub and should be back on Sunday to see how the test turned out. Well Lee, you better get to work I want Seaview ready to leave port at 0800 hours Monday morning." Nelson crushed out his cigarette in the ashtray and walked Crane to the door.

Lee walked through the office and bid good afternoon to Ryan before he proceeded down the hall to Morton's office to see how the exec was making out with prepping for the current mission.


Morton's Office at NIMR 1430Hours

Crane could just make out the top of a blond head amongst the enormous stack of papers that were piled on his XO's desk. Chip was so engrossed in his work he didn't hear Lee enter the office. The captain cleared his throat so not to startle his friend.

"Oh Lee, I didn't hear you come in?"

"That's an impressive pile you have going on there."

"Just going over the final schematics for the computer systems for the base. I want t to make sure I have everything covered so there are no surprises."

"Then you and Archer will be ready to go when we leave at 0800 Monday?"

"I've checked and rechecked all of our equipment and have all the manuals ready to be load this evening. We'll be ready anytime Seaview is."

"In that case how about we go and grab a late lunch in the cafeteria?"

"Meet you there in," Morton looked at his watch and gauged how long it would take to review the schematic, "forty minutes?"

"If you're not there I will send out a search party Mr. Morton."

"Yes Sir, I will be there this time." Chip gave Lee a small salute and returned to his papers. The current project had been monopolizing a great deal of his time lately and regrettably he had missed the last few lunch and dinner plans that he had made with Lee.

Crane chuckled to himself knowing full well he would have to come back and drag his friend down to the cafeteria. In the meantime he would track down the chief and see how the preparations for departure were going.


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