Chapter 1

(Edward's POV)

Twenty-Five years. It was twenty-five years ago today that I died. Well, I was already dead in sense but I will always look back on that day as the day my life truly ended. The day I walked away from her. The day I walked away from the love of my existence and any hope of true happiness in this damned immortal torture. I would have ended my pathetic shell of an existence years ago had it not been for my family. Though why they even want me around now is beyond me.

I'm sitting on the couch trying to ignore their thoughts as usual. Jasper and Emmett are playing chess on the coffee table while Alice sketches on her ipad in the chair across from me. It's the first time in weeks that I have come out to sit with them. I usually keep to my room to try and avoid the pity and sadness I hear in their thoughts each time they see my face. Alice glances my way as I start to rise from the couch. Oh Edward, at least go hunting before you shut yourself away again…you look aw….I look up to see her eyes glaze over as the vision takes her. {In a small cemetery two men struggle to places a heavy stone above a freshly covered grave. Charles Michael Swan Beloved Father and Friend}As the vision fades she looks up at me. Sorry Edward, you know I can't help it sometimes. I give her a small nod as I head out the front door. I break into a run as I hit the porch.

Charlie…the pain in my chest flares as I think of how this will hurt Bella. Oh my beautiful Bella. I wonder, as I so very often do, where she is now. Is she happy? Who did she marry? Does she have children? Do they have her eyes? The pain of not being with her as she suffers the loss of her father is almost too much to bear. I just wish I could see her once. Just to make sure she is happy and safe. I have fought this urge tooth and nail for the last twenty-five years because I know that once I see her it will be that much harder to leave again. Maybe just a glimpse from afar…surely she will attend the funeral. I can handle that much…just this once.

(Bella's POV)

"I'm so sorry Bells." I heard Jacob mutter through the phone. "We're all gonna miss him." "I know. Thanks for letting me know Jake. I obviously can't attend the funeral but I would like to come and pay my respects." I said. "I will let the pack know that you are headed this way. No one will bother you; I'll make sure of it." I could hear the protective tone in his voice and there was a long pause before he added, "Let me know when you get here. I would really like to see you." "Oh Jake" I cried as joy washed over me. "That would be so great. I've missed you so much." "You too Bells…you too. See you soon then." he said "Bye Jake" I couldn't help but smile as I hung up the phone. Though we have spoken often, I have not seen my friend in over 23 years. The memory of our final painful face to face conversation filled my mind.

"Bella, please don't do this. I know I hurt you but you're still my best friend and I still love you. You don't have to leave!" Jacob yelled as tears streaked his face. I clutched at my side as I tried to hold myself together long enough to say goodbye to him. I didn't want him to see the pain I was in…to see the extent of the damage…to see how broken I truly was. "I do Jake. I have to get away from here. I know you didn't mean to hurt me and I don't blame you. I know you can't help it, but I just can't stay around and watch. Please you just have to let me go!" I sobbed. I felt the heat of his arms as they wrapped around me one last time and his lips brushed my forehead. "I will always love you Bella." he whispered into my hair and then he was gone. I shivered as I realized this was the last time I would feel the warmth of my sun.

His light shown for her now, and only for her; Leah Clearwater. Leah had been staying with relatives a few towns over and had come home to visit her mother and her brother Seth on the reservation. Jake and I were walking on the beach when Seth came bounding up with her in tow. The moment Jacob's eyes met hers I lost him. There is no fighting a wolf's imprint. I had to watch as he lifted his hand to touch her beautiful face. She seemed shocked at first, especially as she glanced in my direction but she also seemed to feel a pull toward him. I knew immediately what was happening. My worst fear since I had discovered the depth my love for my best friend had come true. He was hers and I was alone…again. I turned and ran. I heard Jacob call after me but he let me go. He didn't know what to say any more than I did. We both knew this was possible from the beginning but that didn't make it hurt any that I somehow made it home and threw myself down on bed the as the whole in my chest that had never fully closed burst open and I felt I would die from the pain. I wanted to die from it. I think I would have taken my own life that night had it not been for my father.

Ah Charlie. I snapped back to the present and I felt the venom sting my eyes as I thought about my recently departed father and began to pack a small bag. "Going somewhere Izzy?" I flinched at the nick name I hated. I had been so lost in thought that I hadn't noticed that Felix had entered my room. "Yes" I sighed. "I just have to make a quick trip. Can you tell Aro that I will be away for a few weeks?" "He won't be happy." Felix answered. "Where are you headed?" "My father passed away and I would like to pay my respects one last time." I said. "Oh Bella, I'm sorry. Of course I'll tell him. I'll come with you." he offered. "No Felix, really, I'll be fine. This is something I need to do alone." I reply. "Ok, if you're sure love, but if you need anything just let me know. See you soon ok?" "Ok" I said as he leaned in and kissed my cheek. I smile sadly at his grin so reminiscent of the big brother I once lost. As he left I removed the jet black cloak that was my daily guise and finished packing. I grabbed my purse and sighed once again as I closed the door behind me.