A/N: So here it is – the alternate ending to A Light in the Mirror. This monstrous thing is going to be at least seven chapters long, making it more of a sequel than just an alternate ending. Lots of dark stuff here, folks: Violence! Death! Slavery! Extremely dubious consent! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED! :P
I'll be posting a slightly edited version here at in order to keep it in compliance with the terms of service. The unedited version is up at , under the pen name Seraphtrevs. There's still plenty of sex in this one – it'll just be a little less graphic.
This fic begins where Chapter Eight of A Light in the Mirror left off. The first paragraph is the same as Chapter Nine, and it veers off from there. Let me know what you think!
For lack of a better place to go, Garak went to his office. He locked the door and sat at his desk. He stared into space for a long time, his mind too tumultuous to think clearly. A memory came to him suddenly: when he was eight years old, his mother got a job as a maid for a Cardassian businessman. He'd gone along with her to the man's manor one day with firm instructions to stay out of trouble. He'd meant to be good, but then he saw it: a crystal figurine of an exotic bird. It was exquisitely beautiful, the way its delicate glass wings reflected rainbows of light along the wall; he knew as soon as he saw it that he had to have it. He snatched it and went to put it in his pocket, but his grip was too tight and it shattered in his hand. He'd been too frightened of punishment to show anyone his wounds. By the time his mother discovered the damage, it was quite serious. His hand still bore the scars.
And yet...and yet. He knew he would still grab that figurine, even if he had known the consequences. To have it in his hands for even a moment felt like a victory. It may have been a fleeting feeling, but it was better than never experiencing it at all.
He spent the rest of the day resuming a few of his duties; he'd let all of this interfere too much with his life. Before returning to his quarters, he stopped by the brig to pick up a pair of handcuffs, which he clipped to his belt. When he entered his quarters, he found Julian standing at the door of the bedroom. He had changed from his torn and dirty work clothes into Garak's leisure shirt and trousers. Garak didn't know what to say to him, so he said nothing as he removed his armor and his boots. Once he was more comfortable, he got out his dishes to set the table for dinner.
"Where were you?" Julian asked eventually.
"I went to my office," Garak said. "I still have duties here – duties I've neglected because of you." Garak went to the replicator. "What would you like to eat?" he asked, trying to sound a little more genial.
"I'm not hungry."
His combative attitude wasn't surprising. "Now we both know that's a lie," he said as evenly as he could manage. "I hope you don't think I'll allow you to starve yourself. That would displease me a great deal."
Julian didn't reply. Garak finished replicating their meal and placed it on the table. He reset Julian's restraint so that he could enter the dining room. Julian obediently took his place at the table without another word of protest. Garak sat down as well. Julian served himself a modest amount of food and ate it quickly, finishing before Garak had barely taken a bite. He excused himself, claiming the need to use the washroom, leaving Garak to finish his meal alone.
Garak mechanically ate his food, barely tasting any of it. This wasn't what he wanted. He wanted Julian to light up when he entered the room, the way he had the first time Garak laid eyes on him – the way he must for the other Elim. He wanted kisses in the morning, and long talks over tea, and sighs of pleasure when Garak took him into his arms at night. He wanted Julian's warmth. He wanted his light.
But that light was gone now, he knew. He finished his meal, disposed of the waste, and went to the bedroom to claim the shadow that remained.
Julian was sitting on the edge of the bed. Wordlessly, Garak sat down beside him. Julian's shirt had started to slip from his shoulder again, so Garak did what he'd wanted to do that first time he saw it happen – he pushed the fabric down until Julian's shoulder was bare, and kissed it. Julian couldn't suppress a shudder, but he didn't pull away.
Garak moved on to his neck, kissing where the ridge would be if he were Cardassian, then his collar bone, then his throat. Julian did jerk back at that, so Garak put a hand at the base of his skull to hold him still as he kissed his throat again, right where he could see his pulse pounding against his skin. He tried for a kiss on his lips, but Julian kept his mouth firmly shut; short of ordering him to kiss back, Garak knew he wouldn't get what he really wanted, so he moved on.
He snaked a hand up Julian's shirt, running it along his hot skin – so hot he felt like it would burn him. He pulled the shirt up; Julian allowed him to remove it. After running his hands over his skin again and placing a wet kiss in the center of his chest, Garak slid down until he was kneeling in front of him. He picked up one bare foot and pressed it to his lips, then lay a kiss on his ankle below the restraining device – a silent apology. He reset the restraint to the smallest proximity – Julian wouldn't be able to leave the bed until morning. He released his foot and slid his hands up Julian's thighs. By this point, Julian was shaking, clearly holding still only by sheer will. Garak tried to ignore it, but found that he couldn't. The arousal he felt was matched with equal levels of revulsion at himself.
He buried his face in Julian's lap and fought the urge to beg for his forgiveness. After a moment, he pushed himself to his feet. He removed the handcuffs from his belt. "Put these on."
Julian's head snapped up in alarm. "What? Why? I told you I wouldn't fight you, and I'm not."
"Are you refusing me?" he asked coolly.
Julian looked at the handcuffs, then back at Garak's face. Finally, he grabbed them out of Garak's hands.
"Your right wrist only," Garak said. Julian complied with unsteady hands. "Lie on your side, facing the bed post." Julian did as he was told. Garak threaded the cuffs around the post and cuffed his other hand. He kept them as loose as he could while still preventing him from turning over.
After Julian was secured, Garak stepped out of his line of sight and removed the rest of his clothing before making his way to the washroom. After using the toilet, he climbed into a cold shower. He relieved himself of his desire with a few quick strokes of his hand. He took his time drying off and putting on his night clothes. When he was ready, he climbed into bed and spooned up behind Julian, holding him in his arms.
Garak was exhausted enough that he almost immediately began to fall asleep, in spite of the tension of the situation. He was just about to drift off when Julian spoke. "If you're done with me, will you remove the handcuffs?"
"No," Garak said.
"Why? I'm still wearing the ankle restraint. I can't leave."
"Yes, but you could still strangle me in my sleep."
"And then I'd have to spend the rest of the night in bed with your corpse until the Intendant finds me in the morning and has me executed. Why would I do that?"
"You've proven yourself to be very resourceful. I can't help but worry that you might find your way around the ankle restraint."
"I've tried - I can't."
"You're still wearing the cuffs, all the same," Garak said. He kissed the back of his neck. "You see, my dear, I simply don't trust you."
Julian didn't have a response to that.
He was walking down a dark tunnel. The cool, gray walls seemed familiar somehow, although he couldn't quite place it. The tunnel was pulsing, and somehow he knew it was about to collapse. He quickened his pace. He needed to escape.
The tunnel divided. On the left there was a welcoming path bathed in warm, gentle light. The right path was blocked by some sort of wall. He started down the left path, but then he heard a voice coming from behind the wall on the right. It was Julian. He didn't sound distressed; in fact, he was talking and laughing with someone.
The tunnel pulsed harder. He knew he should leave. But he couldn't – he had to get to Julian. He felt the wall. It was tough, but also strangely pliant – almost like skin. He removed a knife from his belt and stabbed into it. A thin, screaming noise echoed through the tunnel, and a thick spray of liquid hit him in the face. He wiped it away – his hand was now slick and black. He stabbed at the wall again. This time, red liquid poured forth. The liquid continued to spray him until he was covered in it, but he did not let it deter him.
As he cut away, Julian's voice lost its joviality. He sounded concerned, then outright panicked. Finally, Garak cut a hole wide enough to squeeze through. Julian was kneeling on the ground beside a prostrate body. Garak looked over Julian's shoulder to see who it was, and was surprised to see his own face.
Julian turned to him. His face was wet with tears. Just then, a hole opened up in the ground. The man who looked like him slipped through first. Julian began to slip through it as well. Garak reached out to catch him, but his hand was too slick to hold on, and Julian tumbled down the pit. Garak leaped in after him. It was terrifying at first – a total free-fall into darkness. His stomach dropped, his heart pounded in his chest. But gradually, it seemed less terrifying and more thrilling. He'd never felt so alive.
He managed to catch Julian in his arms. Julian was thrashing out, but Garak held him so firmly that soon he stilled. The feeling of Julian against his body aroused him. He caught his mouth in a kiss. Their fall gradually slowed, as if they'd been plunged into water. There was no air – they couldn't breathe – but still Garak held him, kissed him, clung to him...
And then they landed.
The next morning, Garak awoke with a strange sense of clarity. He was no happier, but at least he felt on steady feet. A dream lingered in his mind, although he couldn't remember all of it. He felt as if he'd finally finished his fall into despair, and had landed. He also found that a plan had entered his mind; he knew now what he must do.
He rose from the bed and checked on Julian. It looked as if he had finally fallen into an exhausted sleep, although his body was still strung with tension. Garak got ready for the day as quietly as he could. After he was clean and dressed, he opened his weapons locker to select what he would need. A small phaser would probably be best – quick and simple. However, he couldn't help but pick out two of his favorite knives, in case he had the opportunity to be fancy. He selected a phaser as well, then holstered all of them.
He ate a small breakfast, then made a plate for Julian and reentered the bedroom. He woke Julian with a brush of his fingers to his cheek, enjoying the lack of hostility in Julian's sleepy face before he remembered where he was. He undid his handcuffs and reset the proximity on the restraint for a long enough distance that Julian could reach the washroom.
"I have to take care of something," Garak said. "But I'll be back as soon as I can. I'll send someone to check on you if I'm gone too long."
"Take care of what?"
Garak ignored his question. After putting the cuffs in the bureau, he left his quarters. As he walked down the halls to his office, he tapped his comm badge and asked the computer if Sisko was still aboard the station. He was – of course he was. He had been far too eager to leave yesterday; the Intendant would not let that go unpunished. He was pleased; his plan hinged upon Sisko being present.
The computer told him that Sisko was in the docks, which meant the Intendant had not summoned him yet. That gave him time to go to his office, where he tapped out a few commands at his console. He was by no means an expert on the workings of the station's computer systems, but he was adept enough to know just how a clever Terran might temporarily sabotage certain functions.
With that finished, he stopped by Ops, where Dukat was on duty. The poor bastard looked exhausted, seeing as he was still filling in for Garak as well as fulfilling his own duties. Garal talked with him briefly; his face lit up when Garak told him he would fully resume his post the next day. After that, he made his way to the docks, found a shadowed corner, and waited.
Strangely, he didn't feel nervous. This wasn't the first time he'd formulated a bold plan, but he'd never had the nerve to truly follow it through. He was a Gul – a position he had fought his whole life to achieve. He was a torturer – a good one, at that. And yet, beneath all of that, he was timid. Weak. Cowardly, even. He knew how to fight, but he only ever picked battles he knew he would win. He never took real risks. That ended today.
It was not long before Sisko was summoned. He waited until Sisko had disappeared down the hallway before following him. When he'd been inside the Intendant's quarters for about ten minutes, Garak rang the door chime.
Sisko answered, his face expressionless. Before he could say anything, the Intendant's voice sounded from within the room. "Who is it?" she said in a sing-song voice.
"It's Gul Garak," Sisko said.
"Oh, goody! Tell him to come in."
Wordlessly, Sisko stepped aside. Garak followed him to where the Intendant lay sprawled out on a sofa. Major Kira was kneeling on the ground a short distance away; her hands were cuffed. Garak hadn't been expecting that, but it wouldn't upset his plans. There were no servants present.
"Elim!" the Intendant said with a wide smile on her face. "I was going to call you, but I figured you might be busy with your Julian. Have you finished punishing him already, or are you taking a break?"
"I don't like to consider it 'punishment,'" Garak said. "More like...reconditioning." He smiled as he said it. It was easy for him to slip into the roll; it was one he'd played for years.
The Intendant laughed. "Oh, of course. That's an excellent way to put it." She gestured towards the Major. "I've decided that my Nierys could use a little 'reconditioning' herself. I was going to have Benjamin do it, but since you're here..." She paused, and smiled wider. "Oh, I just had a delightful thought! You and Benjamin can have a contest. Whoever makes her beg first wins!"
"What an excellent suggestion," Garak said. "If you would permit me to go first?"
"But of course! I don't think Benjamin here is very enthusiastic, but perhaps he'll get into the spirit of things."
Garak walked over to the Major, whose face was directed downward. Her breath had quickened, but other than that, she betrayed nothing. Perhaps she had been in this position before. Garak put a hand under her chin and tilted her face upward. Garak did his best to convey a message: Wait. Her gaze went from burning anger to one of confusion.
Garak turned back to the Intendant. "As chance would have it, I currently have in my possession my two favorite knives." He unsheathed them and set them on the low table in front of the Intendant. "Perhaps you would like to select which one I should start with."
"All right," she said, clearly enjoying herself. "Why don't you tell me a little about them?"
Garak gestured to the one on the left. "This one is new. It's made of Andorian steel. Rather pretty, isn't it? I use it when I want to inflict the maximum amount of damage as efficiently as possible. It's very, very sharp – I could slit your throat with it and you wouldn't feel a thing."
"Well that doesn't sound like any fun," she said. "What about the other one?"
"Ah yes," Garak said, picking up the knife on the right. "She's been with me a long time."
"It's a she?" the Intendant said. "How charming! Although I have to say, she isn't much to look at."
"Appearances can be deceptive. I had just purchased her when I began my duties at this station. She has grown a bit dull, it's true, but she's inflicted a lot of pain on a lot of people. When I want to make things last, she is the one that I turn to."
"I pick her, then."
"I was hoping you would say that." Garak picked up the second knife. He moved behind the Intendant and addressed Sisko. "Benjamin, undo our prisoner's cuffs, if you please."
Their gazes met. He could tell Sisko knew what was coming. For a moment, Garak was worried that Sisko would betray him, in spite of how much he insisted that he hated her. "I don't have the key," Sisko said eventually, without taking his eyes off of Garak.
"I have it here," the Intendant said. As she was reaching into the pocket of her robe, Garak grabbed her by the hair and pulled her head back. He didn't so much slit her throat as saw it open. Then Intendant couldn't cry out, of course, but the Major did as the spray of blood hit her. The Intendant put a hand to her neck and surged forward, crashing over the low table in front of her. Sisko let out a roar and grabbed the Major in his arms, lifting her out of the Intendant's reach. Remarkably, the Intendant rose unsteadily to her feet again, reaching out to Sisko. But Sisko backed away, still holding the Major in his arms. He turned around to shield her from the sight.
Garak dropped the knife and whipped out his phaser, training it on Sisko. The Intendant had collapsed on her side on the floor, her last burst of energy finally spent. When she was completely still, Sisko turned back around. He raised his hands when he saw Garak's weapon. He was breathing heavily, sucking air through his clenched teeth.
"I'll give you a good head start," Garak said, panting a little himself.
The Major had turned around as well; she was shaking. "You're letting us go?" she managed to choke out. "Why?"
"Someone has to take the blame," Sisko said. He bared his teeth at Garak. "Isn't that right?"
"You have it precisely." He gestured to the Intendant's body. "The key is in her pocket," he reminded him.
Sisko crouched down slowly. He did not immediately reach for the key; instead, he touched the Intendant's face with strange tenderness, then shut her eyes. "It should not have happened like this," he said quietly. He removed the key and returned to the Major. It only took a moment to free her.
"You have fifteen minutes before I sound the alarm," Garak said. "I think you'll find you don't have time to fetch Julian. He has a restraint on that would prevent you from removing him from my quarters anyway."
The Major snarled and made a step toward him, but Sisko held her back. He said something lowly in her ear; Garak couldn't make out what it was.
Garak gestured towards the door with his phaser. "Do try to escape in one piece – it will provide me with some much needed distraction."
"We'll do our best." He took the still shaking Major by the hand – Garak had thought her less fragile than this, but he supposed seeing your mirror image violently murdered would shake anyone up. What was more surprising was Sisko's gentle treatment of her – very interesting, but not really his concern anymore.
"Until we meet again," Sisko said, and then they were gone.
That was a troubling parting sentiment, but Garak wasn't about to let it ruin his victory. He cleaned off his bloody knife and collected the unused one, holstering both afterward. He had managed to keep most of the blood off of himself, but he still washed his hands in the washroom. He tried to think of any other tracks he might need to cover. He looked thoughtfully down at the Intendant's body. Her eyes, he thought – Sisko had closed them. That might seem unusual. He crouched down beside her, avoiding as much of the blood as possible. After prying her eyes open, he studied her face for a moment. Sisko was right – it shouldn't have happened like this. It was over far too quickly.
After ten minutes had passed, the Intendant's comm badge started to beep. When there was no answer, Garak's own went off. He tapped it. "Yes?"
"Sir!" Dukat's panicked voice answered. "Sisko was spotted a few minutes ago fleeing for the docks with the Intendant's double – they were covered in blood!"
"I hope you didn't wait to contact me to order a pursuit!" Garak said, doing his best to sound surprised.
"Yes, of course I did! But he made it to his ship, and they're leaving – I'm trying to stop them, but something's wrong with the docking controls – "
"Something's wrong, or are you fumbling them?"
"No, sir, I swear – I think someone's tampered with – " Dukat cut off for a moment, then swore. "They've made it out!"
"Then put a tractor beam on their vessel, you idiot!"
"We're trying! There's something wrong with that, too!" Dukat was panting. "And sir, there's something else – I've tried hailing the Intendant, but she's not responding."
"I'm passing her quarters right now," Garak said. "I'll check on her."
He sat down on one of the Intendant's opulent chairs and waited a few minutes. Her body rested on a very pretty Bajoran rug – he wondered if he could get the blood stains out.
He hailed Dukat. "She's dead!" he said in a very good approximation of shock. "Forget the tracor beam – destroy Sisko's vessel at once!"
"They're gone."
"What?! You incompetent fool! How could you let this happen?"
"I don't know." Dukat sounded so miserable that Garak almost felt bad.
"I'm on my way to Ops. Try not to let any other murderers escape before I get there."
Garak made a very good show of being angry. He railed against Dukat's incompetence. He unleashed his fury at the security team for letting Sisko board his ship in the first place. He hauled Quark out and had him executed, for no particular reason other than the situation seemed to call for someone to be executed, and he needed to get rid of him anyway.
When he had everyone scrambling, he went to his office – ostensibly to start making the proper calls to the Bajoran government and his own superiors. As soon as the door was shut, however, he nearly collapsed; he felt so giddy that it was making him dizzy. He leaned against the wall to keep himself upright, but eventually slid to the floor. He rested his head on his knees and started to laugh – quietly at first, but soon the volume grew. He bit down on his fist to muffle the sound. He'd taken the universe by the throat and demanded satisfaction, and it had relented. He had won.
And Julian was safe in his quarters, his last hope for escape gone. Garak removed the key to Julian's restraint from his pocket, relishing the cool, solid feel of it against his skin. Safe, yes, and his – his forever.
Taking a deep breath, he rose from the floor. First, he summoned one the Intendant's Vulcan servants and ordered him to tend to Julian's needs, since he had a long day ahead of him. When that was taken care of, he began making the necessary calls. All went as expected. The Bajorans would send an investigative team to look into her death. They would also need to appoint a new Intendant, but it would be some time before that could happen. They asked Garak to run the station in the meantime; he accepted.
His own superiors were pleased with the way things had turned out, even if Garak didn't let them know he was the author of her death. They had been hoping for some time to get control of the station, and they advised Garak to keep the Bajorans out for as long as possible. Garak told them that that wouldn't be a problem.
And then there was the grisly business of cleaning up the Intendant's body. He had images of the scene taken for the sake of the Bajoran investigative team arriving the next day, but was deliberately sloppy about it. Not that he imagined anyone would think too closely about what had happened – a Terran with a clear motive had been seen fleeing the crime scene, covered in blood. No one would doubt that. Annoyingly, however, Odo had appeared and was sniffing around. He had been devoted to the Intendant, and he and Odo didn't exactly have a harmonious relationship. Garak decided not to worry too much about it – Odo was a scientific curiosity and a useful tool, but not someone anyone would take seriously.
At long last, he was able to return to his quarters. Julian was standing at the bedroom door; he tried to move forward when Garak entered, but was stopped short by the restraint.
"What's happened?" he asked. "I heard an alarm, but that was hours ago, and the Vulcan you sent wouldn't tell me anything."
Garak didn't answer him. Julian seemed different, somehow, but Garak quickly realized that it was he himself who had changed, and now he was seeing Julian through different eyes. From the moment Julian had first kissed him, Garak had felt helpless in his desire. He remembered his pitiful pleading the night they went to bed together, and his desperate scrambling to manipulate Julian into being his. It seemed so pathetic to him now.
Garak brushed past Julian. He took off his armor before finally responding to his question. "The Intendant is dead."
"Dead? How?"
Garak opened his weapons locker and hung up the knife he'd used. "Sisko slit her throat." There was a spot of blood that he had missed on the handle. He rubbed it off with his finger.
Julian saw that, and swallowed. "Sisko did," he said, his voice flat. It wasn't really a question.
"Oh yes," Garak said. "Right after she ordered him to torture Major Kira. I suppose he had enough of following her orders. He could have killed the Major as well, but he spared her. That was very merciful of him, don't you think?"
Julian didn't respond, so Garak pressed on. "Or perhaps it was more than mercy, since he took her with him when he escaped. They're light years away by now. With both the Alliance and the Bajorans after them, I doubt they'll risk coming back here."
Julian sank to the bed. Garak finished putting his weapons away. He decided to leave Julian alone for the moment and went to take a shower. Julian was still sitting on the bed in the same position when Garak emerged from the washroom, completely naked. Julian looked at him briefly, but his gaze quickly skittered away.
"What happens now?" Julian asked in a small voice.
Garak removed some night clothes from his bureau and put them on. "The Bajorans are sending a team of investigators tomorrow. They will determine that things happened exactly as I've said. Search ships will be sent out, but Sisko is very clever. I doubt we will find him.
"I have been asked to run the station while a new Intendant is selected. The position of Intendant is appointed by the Bajoran government – her main duty was to oversee the Bajoran's interests in this sector, but as it was convenient for her to perform her job on this station, she was given the additional duty of running the ore processing facility. However, once light is shed on all of her various illegal schemes, it might be determined that a future Intendant should be stationed a little closer to home, as to be subjected to more oversight.
"In the meantime, the Alliance will be making its own plans. Bajor is technically our ally, but not an official member of the Alliance. They've been charging us a little too much for use of their resources, and our Regent would like nothing more than to bring Bajor fully under Alliance control. Now that I have secured this station, we can use it as a base to stage an invasion. It should be over quickly – they will be taken completely by surprise."
Garak retrieved the handcuffs from the bureau. He sat down beside Julian. "You don't need to worry about them coming after you. With all of the excitement, a rogue visitor from an alternate dimension will be of low priority. I will keep you safe." He fastened the cuff to Julian's right hand, then turned him on his side. "Quite safe," he said as his threaded the cuffs around the bed post and secured his other hand.
As he put his arms around Julian, Julian began to shake. "You don't have to be frightened of me," Garak said. "I won't hurt you."
Julian was silent for a moment. "These cuffs are hurting my hands."
After a moment of consideration, Garak got up and retrieved the key to the handcuffs. He got back into bed, leaned over Julian, and undid his right wrist. Although Garak had selected cuffs padded with leather, there was still a red mark encircling his wrist. He chided himself for not noticing. He undid Julian's other hand as well, but only to readjust the cuff so that it wasn't as tight. He put the cuff back on Julian's left wrist, and attached the empty right cuff to the bed post. Julian was still restrained, but now his movements were less restricted. "Is that better?"
Julian rolled onto his back and looked up at Garak, who was still leaning over him. "What do you want from me?"
Everything, he almost said. For a moment, he considered taking him just like this. His hand even migrated to Julian's free hand, his fingers snaking between Julian's, who did not pull away. His exquisite eyes were wide with fear.
No, he decided. Having him like this was not what he truly wanted, and he was done compromising his desires. "I want you to say yes," Garak said, releasing Julian's hand.
"And if I don't, you'll have someone killed."
"No."
Julian relaxed slightly. "But you will if I try to escape."
Garak said nothing; he didn't have to.
"What are the consequences if I say no?"
"There are none. As I told you, now that I'm in charge, I can make things better for the Terrans. No more torture, no more abuse. I will do these things regardless of whether or not you accept me. However, I feel I must point out that I won't be able to trust you if you continue to reject me. Your life will be much better if you make some effort to be...amicable."
He let Julian absorb that information before continuing. "Will you kiss me good night?"
"No," Julian said with surprising fierceness.
His brave, defiant Julian was still in there, after all. That pleased Garak. He smiled. "Then I suppose I'll just say it. Good night, my Julian." He turned on his side away from him and made himself comfortable. He did not need him in his arms tonight. There would be time for that later.
