"It Was Just a Stupid Kiss"

I remember the first time I saw her and I mean really saw her. Sure, she was annoying as hell, and yeah, she dressed like some 5 year old grandma, but her voice was amazing. I remember just sitting there and watching her sing. My god, Rachel Berry, her voice was just- I can't even tell you how I felt watching this ridiculously dressed girl. Her expression changed as she sung showing only confidence then suddenly show her vulnerability.

What- Who was this girl?

What kind of girl sings like that and just- I don't even know anymore.

Once she finished her song, she just stood up straighter than ever just brimming with confidence and flashing us a smug smile damn well knowing she 'had' a voice like no other.

The initial shocked was swept away by this confident girl and was replaced a twinge of jealously. How dare this girl stand there in front of me smiling confidently while I sat here watching my boyfriend stare at her in awe like some love sick puppy. I, Quinn Fabray, will not tolerate this and I damn well know how to deal with this little problem.


Over the course of a week, I had my cheerios shove, pick on, and just give hell to her. And through all of this, she continued singing like nothing had ever happened. As if, she hadn't been pantsed in gym class showing off her stark white little girl panties or tripped in the cafeteria thus landing in a plateful of spaghetti. I just didn't understand. What the hell is with this girl? Why the hell won't she break?

It's obvious that I have to take things into my own hands now. The Cheerios weren't enough; it was time for Quinn to take on this freak.

Once second period ended, I hopped up out of seat and made my way to the girls' locker room to get ready for P.E. only I had something else in mind. When I arrived I made my way to Rachel's' locker when I heard a sniffling. I paused for a moment then slowly made my way around the corner and peeked to see her. She was bent over holding herself as if trying to contain her sobs. I hadn't expected to see her like this; I hadn't expected this sudden feeling of guilt and pain.

I stared as silent tears ran down her cheeks onto her stupid red skirt leaving small dark circles on them. I didn't know I had walked out from my little hiding spot and had walked toward her stopping only a few feet.

So, when she looked up at me I froze, clutching my books tighter against chest.

She looked at me guarded and suspiciously then spoke, "What do you want now? Come to make fun of me and tell me how ugly my face is when I cry?"

I shook my head, "I could if I wanted to, but I'm not in the mood of making fun of you today, Berry. Check back with me after P.E. if you're interested."

She glared at me then stood up, "What is your problem Quinn? I know I may be annoying and I know I'm not the prettiest girl, but what exactly have I done to you for you to treat me this way?"

I stared at her not really sure how to answer, but quickly answered, "Because I feel like it Berry."

She stared at me and said,"I just don't understand you. You're popular, beautiful, the head cheerleader, and you're dating Finn Hudson, the quarterback at our school and yet... I just want to know why you hate me so much…"

Tears had started welling up as she spoke and were now just free falling down her cheeks making me feel pathetic and petty. Quinn Fabray is not pathetic and petty.; Quinn Fabray is… Quinn Fabray is… jealous.

"What?"

I looked up at her confused, "What?"

"You just said jealous. What are you jealous of? Wait… are you… are you je-"

Panic and annoyance surged through me and I said, "Don't you dare finish that sentence, Berry! How could I, Quinn Fabray, be jealous of- of YOU? I mean, how could I be jealous of a girl who wears pantsuits to school? I mean seriously Pantsuits? Ha! That'd be the day!"

Anger filled her eyes and I knew I was in for it, "You are jealous of me! I can see it all over stupid little pretty face! You're jealous of my singing aren't you? Or maybe it's my determination and ambition that makes you annoyed because I have a chance to leave this town where as you-"

I don't know what went through my head nor why I did it, but I didn't mean to do it. I didn't mean to push her up against the lockers and kiss her. Just to shut her up. Just to feel those unbelievably soft lips on mine. Just to feel what it was to kiss this annoying girl. I pulled away shocked and confused feeling unsure and a little sick. I didn't look at her. I just grabbed my text books and rushed out of the locker room shoving past girls who were starting to walk into the locker room to get ready for P.E. and rushed to the girls' bathroom and locked myself in a stall.

Quinn Fabray, what the hell did you just do?


For the next couple of days, I avoid Rachel as if I was trying to avoid the plague. I didn't tell anyone plus who could I tell? Santana was such a bitch; the moment I told her she'd tell the whole school and Brittany was an idiot. What good would it do to tell a girl who still believed in the tooth fairy? I continued on as if nothing happened and held my head high making sure everyone knew that I was still in control of this school.

As I made my way into the girl's restroom, I saw Rachel coming at me like some sort of demon and push me into the bathroom slamming it shut behind us. I steady my self quickly and then let my annoyance fill me as I whipped my head around toward her. "What exactly are you doing, Berry?"

She was panting slightly, her hair sort of out of place as if she had been running or something. She stood up composing herself then turned her attention toward me, "Why'd you kiss me?"

I froze then quickly shook it off and glared at her, "I tripped. I didn't intentionally kiss you, Rachel. I knew you were lonely, but to-"

"You tripped? Please, Quinn, I'm not an idiot. I know when someone intentionally kisses someone and you were that someone. So, why'd you kiss me?"

I was getting annoyed now,"I didn't kiss you!"

"Stop lying! You did! All I want to know is why you kissed me an-"

"I don't know why! Plus why does it matter anyways? It was just a stupid kiss. It's not like it's the end of the world."

I looked away feeling uncomfortable and angry for her making me uncomfortable, "It wasn't just a stupid kiss, Quinn. . . It was my first kiss."

I looked up at her to see her staring at me as if I did it on purpose or something. This wasn't on purpose it just sort of happened. . .

"Okay? So, I was your first kiss, big deal. Everyone has their first kiss with someone new, so it isn't that big of a deal, Rachel."

She looked hurt and angry, "Maybe to you it isn't, but it is to me! I was saving it for the person I like not for someone to just steal it!"

"I didn't steal it!"

"Yes, you did! You stole my first kiss an-"

I was so tired of her just talking and making me feel like some pathetic person who just kisses people for fun so, I dropped my text books and just grabbed her face and pulled her into another kiss. This time it was sort of intentional. She was shocked at first, but didn't pull away or anything so I saw it as a sort of 'Okay, go ahead and do it, Fabray'. I let my tongue glide over her bottom lip and felt her sigh, parting her slightly, but just enough for me to slip in. Kissing Rachel was like what I imagined kissing a dentist; pure minty freshness which wasn't that bad at all. What surprised was when she started to kiss me back; she was rather hesitant, but I encouraged her by nibbling on her bottom lip. She breathed in sharply then just took control; clumsily and impatient.

I pulled away and murmured, "Relax, I'm not going anywhere."

She stared at me; worried at first then she relaxed and then captured my lips once again for a slow and somewhat awkward kiss, but it was cute and refreshing. The kiss didn't last long because we heard laughter and familiar voices outside the door, "She's probably taking a shit or something."

I pushed her away and quickly picked up books pretending not to have noticed Santana and Brittany enter the restroom laughing and then sort of end in an awkward pause.

Santana spoke first, "Are we interrupting something?"

Rachel responded quickly looking a little breathless, "No. I was just leaving."

She raised a perfectly arched eyebrow, "Okay. . ."

She slipped past the two and hurried out of the restroom as if it was on fire.

"Come on, Coach Sylvester wants us; something about Mr. Schuester and his hair."

I nodded and followed after them quickly touching my lips.

I could still feel her on lips on mine.


After the incident in the restroom, it was as if we made a silent agreement never to alone in a room ever again nor to speak of the kiss (es). Life had gone back to its usual self until Puck knocked me up. I shouldn't have gone to his house, I should have just gone home like the good girl I was, but I was so confused and angry that day. It was because of her.

I had forgotten my text book in the choir room so I had went back to go get it when I heard singing. I knew this voice. I peered through the window on the door and saw her just standing there singing to an invisible audience. Shining brightly as usual and radiating with confidence as always. I quietly slipped in and shut the door behind me quietly and listened to her sing. I closed my eyes letting her beautiful voice fill me with emotions no guy has ever made me feel. This girl's voice did things to me; this girl in general did things to me. I didn't notice she had stopped singing when I heard her speak, "What are you doing?"

I opened my eyes and saw her standing there; her hands clutched before her, pressing into her stomach, she was nervous.

"I forgot my text book for Spanish so I came to get it."

She stared at me then said, "Okay. . ."

We stared at each other for a good minute before she looked away, "Well, aren't you going to get it?"

I nodded, but I walked toward her stopping only a few centimeters away. I gently grabbed her chin tipped it up so that she was looking at me now. She looked very confused and somewhat guarded, but once I started to move my hand to cup her cheek and caress it softly with my thumb did she shiver letting a soft sigh escape her sweet lips. I leaned into kiss her when she suddenly put her small hands on my shoulders and whisper, "Stop."

I did and pulled away looking a little confused, "What's wrong?"

"You can't continue doing this, Quinn."

"What do you mean?" I frowned at her not getting at what she meant.

She used her hands to gesture us, "This. You can't just ignore for a few weeks, almost a month, and then decide to kiss me just because you feel like it."

"That's not my in-"

"Intentions? Maybe not, but that's what you're doing and I don't want that."

I stared at her, "So what? I'm not allowed to kiss you anymore? Is that what you're trying to getting at?"

"No, well yes, but I-"

"Well then what is it? Am I allowed to kiss you or not?" I was getting annoyed now. I just wanted to kiss her, but I can't if she isn't telling me whether I can or not. I mean the other times I've kissed her I didn't bother asking her whether or not I could, but this time was different for some reason.

"You can only kiss me if we're together."

I stared at her shocked then incredulously, "What? I can't do that!"

She looked at me hurt then a little angry, "Why not? You like me, don't you?"

I stared at her uncertain; did I like her? I mean it was just kissing. Santana and Brittany did it all the time and they weren't together.

"You do like me? I mean you don't kiss someone you don't like, right?"

I opened my mouth to say something, but then shut it tightly. What am I suppose to say to that? Of course you don't, but I don't like her in that sense . . . do I?

"This isn't a hard question, Quinn. Do you like me or not?"

I stared at her then said, "I don't know, but even if I did we couldn't be together."

She stared at me, "Why not?"

"Because I'm the head cheerleader of the cheerios! I'm supposed to date the quarterback of the school even if he is an idiot. That's what cheerleaders do and that's what makes me popular and keep the slushies away."

She stared at me incredulously at first then it was hurt, "So, you won't be with me because you're suppose to be with Finn?"

"Well, yeah, I mean I like being popular, so I can handle being with an idiot."

She shook her head and said, "You won't be with me because you 'like being popular'? So, I mean nothing to you?"

I open my mouth unsure how to proceed, "Well, I wouldn't say tha-"

"Then what am I to you!"

I stepped back surprised at her sudden anger. How could she be angry at me for wanting to be popular? I mean everyone wanted to be popular and I am. She was just being stupid now.

"What does it matter? It's just a kiss! Why can't I just kiss you without having to dump Finn and still keep my popularity?"

"It matters because I like you!"

I blinked in surprise my heart fluttering in surprise. She liked me? Rachel Berry likes me?

Tears were now starting to run down her face, "Do you know how much it hurts to see you walking in the halls holding hands with him? Everyone assumes I'm staring at Finn, but I'm actually staring at you! All I think about is kissing you and walking through the halls holding your hand. Having you smile at me, laugh with me, and kiss me in front of everyone! All I want is you . . . that stupid kiss in the restroom showed me how much I admire you . . . it also showed me how much I liked you."

I stared at her; my hearting squeezing painfully as she cried confessing what I had wanted, but never admitted to myself. I wanted her to, but I . . . I need everyone to like me. I can't be a nobody because no one likes a nobody.

I reached out to pull her into my arms, but she swatted them away angrily and said, "Don't touch me."

I recoiled slightly from the tone of her voice, but then said softly as my hands ached to pull her into my arms, "Rachel . . . please, I just- I can't be a nobody. Don't you understand?"

She stared at me then laughed bitterly, "I understand."

I sighed in relief ready to pull her into my arms when she said, "I understand that you're a coward. You're afraid of being alone and not having liking you, but did you even consider that I would have been with you? No matter what happened I would have stayed by your side?"

I stared at her pitifully. She shook her head and then walked around me and headed toward the door, "I care for you, Quinn, but it's obviously not enough for you. . . Goodbye Quinn."

I shut my eyes tightly trying to hold in the tears threatening to fall, but when I heard the door slam shut I fell to my knees letting the tears fall.

"But it was just a stupid kiss."