CHAPTER ONE
"I wanted to tell you I love you last time I saw you." Kate's heart thudded in her chest.
"I'm sorry." Sawyer nodded, his chest tight. "I know you wanted to tell me you loved me." He touched her arm with a brush of his fingers, "But you only think you love me. It's part of being human." Sawyer could see every ounce of pain Kate felt; it was written all over her face. "And I do love you, but not in the way that you think."
The last of Kate's hope exploded like a star; a star that was shining brightly one minute, then finds itself burnt out.
"You're a great friend, Kate. I love you that way. And that's how you love me."
Kate backed away at Sawyer's words. "Don't treat me like a child." She sounded disgusted, but all she felt was hurt. "Screw you!" Her agony erupted in a burst of anger that for once she didn't wish to take back.
Sawyer caught Kate's hand, stopping her from walking away. "I'm just trying to explain. I'm not being mean…"
"No, you're being an ass." Kate shook her head, her voice surprisingly calm. "And you know what, I wish you would just disappear. So I would never have to hear you or see you ever again." Her lips began to quiver, and every inch of her body trembled.
"Why? What did I do?" Sawyer's face was serious, his arms outstretched in a questioning manner.
"You mislead me." Before she could get any more words out, Kate choked on the lump in her throat. "I appreciate it." She wanted to turn away, but when she did what would she do?
"No I didn't. I truly did care for you and I still do." Sawyer could feel Kate's pain; he could feel her sheer misery. "Relationships change and evolve, Kate. It's part of life and I did not in any way shape or form mislead you. I swear." He stood there stupidly, shaking his head.
Kate's tears came now, a flood of everything she'd ever loved and lost. "You don't know me. And you get to be happy with Juliette, but what do I get?" She hiccupped, her chest heaving.
Sawyer's voice caught in his throat. Seeing Kate in that much pain was more than he could bare but he couldn't allow her to go on loving him blindly the way she did. "I do know you, Kate." His jaw clenched. "You make me sound like the bad guy here. I've done nothing but be honest with you. I'm trying to help." His arms fell by his side in defeat.
Kate turned away, her tears falling like rain on a day when it doesn't stop drizzling and everything gets circular little wet spots on it. "Go away. Be happy in knowing the fact that you made me absolutely miserable." She sniffled, unable to meet Sawyer's gaze.
"I did no such thing." He snapped. "Don't lay this on me. I've been honest with you about everything. You just did what everyone does, you hoped for a different situation. You became obsessed with us being the outcome, even though I told you it wouldn't be that way."
With fury, Kate turned back to Sawyer. "No Sawyer, you're wrong. We're not friends and maybe you should just learn to keep your promises." She spat the words at him, her teeth gritting.
"Whatever you say, Kate." Now Sawyer only felt disappointment. "I didn't break my promise. Things changed. Life happened."
Kate was almost ready to walk away, her heart feeling empty and cracked. "You can't say you didn't break it. You changed. And life happened? No, you let it take you away from me." Kate could feel the hot tears racing down her cheeks and off the tip of her nose; they left a sticky residue behind that she knew only sleep could take care of. "If life can take you elsewhere, I'll make sure it takes me somewhere far away from you." She stood up tall, her head pounding.
"That's a messed up thing to say!" Sawyer exclaimed after her as she walked away.
"So be it." Kate called over her shoulder, quickly disappearing into the thick forest green.
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