This was clearly written before Season 7 started - trust me, if I had my way Darvey would have already happened, or at least Harvey would be dating anyone BUT his therapist.
Can't swallow our pride
Neither of us wanna raise that flag, mm
If we can't surrender
Then, we're both gonna lose we have, oh, no
Both hands tied behind my back for nothing (nothing) oh no
These times when we climb so fast to fall, again
I don't wanna fall for it, now
I never meant to start a war
You know, I never wanna hurt you
Don't even know we're fighting for
Why does love always feel like a battlefield, a battlefield, a battlefield
- Battlefield by Jordin Sparks
Donna sat down on her couch in sweats drowning herself in alcohol and ice-cream, trying to come to terms with what just happened. Mike was finally in the bar, Mike and Rachel were in love and getting married, Louis was devastated with the loss of Tara, Jessica came for Mike, and her and Harvey were back to their usual selves. Donna finally said it out loud – "I want more" and shed a tear, fully understanding that she didn't want to be just Harvey's secretary anymore. It was time for a change.
The week went by so quick – she worked with Harvey pretending that everything was fine while still trying to make a life-altering decision. By Friday, her plans were finally put in place and ready to execute – she called her parents in Connecticut, contacted a real estate agent to find a small place near her family, got herself a job interview at a Connecticut law firm called Cooper & Evans, found someone to lease out her apartment, and fixed her bank accounts. She looked down at the white envelopes in her hand and took a deep breath before making her way to Harvey's office.
"Hey Harvey, do you have a minute?" Harvey looked up from his laptop and looked up at a grim-looking Donna.
"I thought you would've gone home by now. Of course, Donna. Anything for you." Donna gave him a small smile walking up to his desk and placed the envelopes on the table.
"I'm resigning Harvey. I meant when I said that I wanted more, and it's time. I've stepped aside from The Donna project and left it in the hands of Stu and Benjamin, who fully understand my decision." Donna looked at a shocked Harvey, who knew that he was trying to control his emotions, despite his eyes getting wet. Harvey gulped.
"I need you, Donna. You can't leave me again." He said in a controlled voice, forcing his emotions down his throat.
"I've been with you, for now, thirteen years – every minute, every day of my life is dedicated to you, but I can't do it anymore Harvey. I need to find more in my life – I don't know what it is, but I know that this isn't it anymore. There's a letter for you as well – when you're ready, read it. Goodbye Harvey."
Harvey was lost for words – he could feel his chest tightening, sweat beads on his forehead. He grabbed his phone and quickly called for Dr Agard, who helped him on a weekly basis with the recent events, stressing his life.
That night, it finally hit him that Donna was really gone. He went to Donna's apartment the morning after she handed in her resignation letter, only to see movers filtering in and out of her apartment with the new owners. She was really gone, and he had no idea what he was going to do.
Mike and Rachel watched the downfall of the great Harvey Specter – sure he was back to his talented, asshole lawyer, but at the office and in his personal life, he was a mess. Mike and Rachel managed to help pick up the pieces and slowly help Harvey back together, who eventually agreed to hire a new secretary, and thankfully it was Bertha from D.A's office whom both Harvey and Donna knew and loved. She was a great replacement, but everyone knew that nothing is ever the same without Donna.
Eventually, the firm and Harvey moved on from Donna, but it also was the end of Harvey and Donna.
Three months later
Donna was back in New York after being away for three long months. She arrived at her parents in Connecticut looking strong and confident, only to break down and crash when her mother and father asked her how she was.
She slept every night for the first two weeks wondering whether Harvey had read her letter – every feeling and emotion was poured into that letter the night she wrote it. It was also the moment that she finally admitted to loving Harvey as more than a friend, and that she was really in love with him.
Donna knocked on the door, holding a bottle of wine and a bag of Chinese take-out. The door swung open.
"Donna! You're here!" Rachel squealed and pulled Donna into a hug.
"It so good to see you, Rachel. I got wine and Chinese food." Donna grinned as she walked into Rachel and Mike's apartment. They sat down in front of the TV and began digging into their food and wine.
"So, how are things back at home? Do you miss New York?"
"Of course, I miss New York, I've lived here for half my life. Connecticut has been good to me – my family are always together and have been helping with my changes. I got a good job at another law firm in their H.R department while doing some small local theatre productions."
"That's good to hear! Bertha is doing well as your replacement." Rachel smiled softly, not wanting to upset Donna.
"I'm glad to hear." Donna said honestly, "How are things at the firm since I've left?"
"It took some time for all of us to get used to the changes, with Mike finally being able to be a lawyer, me with school, and everyone else is trying to get used to the new managing partners."
"How's Harvey?" Donna asked quietly, looking down at her noddle box.
"He's doing well. He's always asking for you. Since you left, in his free time he would try and find you and constantly ask me about you. I promised you I wouldn't give anything to him, not even your phone number but it was hard. He'd drunk dial Mike late at night sometimes to vent about you or try and get your number, but Mike stuck to his promise for you." Donna looked at Rachel with guilt for forcing Mike and Rachel to act as middle people between Donna and Harvey.
"Thank you. You two are stuck in the middle between us, and I know it's hard but it's for the best." The night before Mike and Rachel's wedding was meant to be a happy and joyous night, but after a bottle of wine and watching The Notebook and Titanic, it was an emotional mess.
"You know I wrote him a letter. After thirteen years, it took me a resignation and a goddamn letter to finally understand and admit my feelings for Harvey. Pathetic, right?" Donna hastily wiped away her forbidden tear. Rachel pulled Donna into a hug to comfort her.
"It's not pathetic. You were someone lost and in love. What Mike and I went through, with him being in prison, is nothing compared to you and Harvey. You both have sacrificed so much for work, and now you finally know what you want even if it meant having to let go one more thing. The only question left to ask is, are you happy?" Donna looked at Rachel thinking about what has happened over in the past three months.
"I think I am. I feel content and I'm finally putting my wants ahead of the firm, despite still working in a firm."
"Then that's all that matters. Your happiness is what everyone wants, including Harvey."
After that, they both fell asleep on the couch and Donna felt content since arriving back in New York.
The morning of the wedding was an exciting time. Donna woke early and made breakfast while Rachel went to answer the door and introduced her mother to Donna, then went off to have a shower. Donna and Laura Zane got on extremely well, and much to Donna's surprise Laura knew a lot about Donna.
"So, my daughter tells me that you left Pearson, Specter & Litt to move back to Connecticut."
"Yes, I did. I thought it was time for a change and doing something more than being a legal secretary."
"Sometime tells me that there is more to your reasoning than just that." Laura looked at Donna trying to read her. Donna heard the bathroom door open and jumped to her feet.
"Oh, Rachel's finally out, I'm going to have a shower." Donna said nervously, trying to retain her composure.
"Whoever it is Donna, if it was meant to be, you will always find your way back to him no matter how long it takes." And with that, Donna was left to that notion in the shower. She showered quickly regathering her thoughts and went to help the ladies with their hair (another talent of Donna's), while they had a make-up artist doing their make-up. Donna's maid of honour dress was a simple Ted Baker pink floral-printed dress paired with her favourite Jimmy Choo heels. She kept her jewellery simple and tasteful, with minimal makeup and her usual Donna hair.
Donna fixed Rachel's hair quickly and looked at her with a beaming smile on her face.
"Are you ready to get married? Pssh, of course, you are. You're nervous but excited." Donna grinned as she helped Rachel out of the apartment down to the streets.
"How did you know?"
"I'm Donna. I know everything."
On the other side of town, back at Harvey's condo, both men were looking extremely handsome in their suits.
"How do I look?" Mike asked with his arms open and spun around. Harvey finished his scotch and looked at Mike.
"Me? I look great as always." Harvey smirked and Mike rolled his eyes at him.
"I seem to recall this being my wedding? Nobody cares how you'll look."
"You look good, Mike. Now settle down. Rachel should be here any moment and the guests are waiting to actually see you." Harvey pushed Mike out of his room and then went to greet the wedding minister, while Mike greeted everyone else. Louis had arrived with Katerina after the Tara disaster, while Jessica and Jeff also flew in from Chicago for the wedding. There were people from the clinic, from the firm and some of Rachel's family. There was no word on whether Donna would be at the wedding, and despite Harvey having asked Rachel and Mike about her in the past few days, it seemed that Donna would be unlikely to attend the wedding.
Rachel's mother walked into the condo indicating that Rachel was here, and quickly everyone got into position. The wedding DJ (that Mike insisted on hiring), started playing Lucky by Jason Mraz and Colbie Caillat. Lyrics flowed out of the speaker, and everyone's attention turned to the door.
And so I'm sailing through the sea
To an island where we'll meet
You'll hear the music fill the air
I'll put a flower in your hair
Though the breezes through the trees
Move so pretty you're all I see
As the world keeps spinning round
You hold me right here right now
Harvey heard gasps around him and looked at the person walking towards them – it was Donna. His heart stopped seeing her for the first time in three months and immediately took his breath away with how beautiful she looked. His eyes stayed on her, trying to immerse his brain with the stunning image in front of him. Donna smiled at both men and nodded her head to acknowledge them. Then everyone's attention turned to Rachel who was being walked down the aisle by her father, the great Robert Zane.
I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
I'm lucky we're in love in every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday
The ceremony was beautiful – both Harvey and Donna watched on fondly as their best friends exchanged vows and dedicate their love to each other for all eternity. Harvey would occasionally glance at Donna taking in her beauty. When the ceremony was over, the party started. Food was being served, drinks were being opened and the music was being played.
Harvey quietly spoke to Jessica and Jeff waiting for the chance to speak with Donna alone. He had been watching her dance, laugh and drink with many of the guests – she looked happy.
"So, Donna's back. You seemed on edge, Harvey." Jessica looked at Harvey.
"I'm not on edge. I'm a little shocked by her appearance."
"I think we all were. Well… Mike and Rachel clearly didn't look surprised." Jessica tilted her head towards the newlyweds.
"I noticed that – I guess my instincts were right. They've known about Donna's whereabouts and been in contact with her since she left without a word. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to say hi to Donna."
Donna hugged Louis and Katrina and quietly chatted with them before going to get herself a refilled glass of champagne.
"Donna." She froze midway from drinking - he was here and wanting to talk to her. Crap. She spun around and smiled.
"Hey, Harvey." She saw the twitch on Harvey's hardened jaw. Nothing else was being said. She knew that he was angry or annoyed with her.
"That's it? After three months without a word, all I get is a hello?" Donna narrowed her eyes but remained calm.
"I take it you haven't read my letter. Look, Harvey, today is about Mike and Rachel. If you want to talk, we can talk after the wedding." She said firmly. Mike came up from behind sensing the tension the two immediately. He coughed and Harvey and Donna turned to look at him.
"Donna, would you like to dance?" Mike put his hand out in front of Donna. Donna smiled and finished her champagne, then put her hand in Mike's allowing him to pull her to the centre of the condo to dance, where other pairings were starting to dance. Rachel stood beside him and looked at her husband dancing with her best friend.
Harvey finished his scotch and grabbed Rachel's hand gently, "let's dance" he smiled. Rachel was a little surprised knowing that Harvey rarely did anything fun, let alone dance.
"You should ask her dance with you. It might be the only time you get to make her listen to you since you're both so stubborn." Rachel said as they danced.
"Have you and Mike been in contact this whole time?" Harvey asked bluntly looking at Rachel. She looked at him nervously and nodded.
"We promised her that we keep it a secret – she didn't want anyone to know where she moved to or a number to call her on." Rachel said simply, avoiding revealing more than she should.
"Why?"
"You have to ask her. Thank you for the dance, Harvey, and good luck." Rachel kissed Harvey's cheek. Mike appeared and pulled his wife away from Harvey leaving Donna and Harvey alone on the dancefloor with some of the other couples who were still dancing.
I never felt nothing in the world like this before
Now I'm missing you, and I'm wishing you would come back through my door
Oh, why did you have to go?
You could have let me know
So now I'm all alone
"Would you like to dance Donna?" Harvey asked quietly.
"I thought the great Harvey Specter didn't dance?" Donna teased him, feeling like their usual selves again
"I can make some exceptions." Harvey smiled and pulled Donna into an embrace and danced with Donna. She rested her arms on his shoulder as he felt his hands grasp onto her hips.
Girl, you could have stayed but you wouldn't give me a chance
With you not around, it's a little bit more than I can stand
Oh, and all my tears, they
Keep runnin' down my face
Why did you turn away?
"So, how've you been?" Harvey asked quietly. Donna looked at him with a soft smile. There was no longer any anger in his eyes, anything but that.
"I've been good. I'm very happy with what I do." Donna said coyly. She was still determined to keep her location, her workplace and everything quiet. If Harvey knew, then she could never move on.
"What is it that you do?
"I'm the Head of the HR department at the law firm that I work at, and it is very fulfilling and a little less demanding of my time."
So why does your pride make you run and hide?
Are you that afraid of me?
But I know it's a lie what you keep inside
This is not how you want it to be
"Why all this secrecy Donna? I thought thirteen years of friendship and working together would mean more to you. Three months and I can't contact or locate you." Harvey blurted out. Donna was a little startled by his outburst.
"Our friendship means the world to me, but my choice to leave has nothing to do with you Harvey. I had to move on. Don't say that when two people care, they never move on. I wanted more out of my life and I finally got it. I'm not just an executive secretary for a lawyer anymore, I'm a department head and doing theatre productions in my spare time. So, please forgive me for wanting some space from New York." Donna said angrily.
So, baby, I will wait for you
'Cause I don't know what else I can do
Don't tell me I ran out of time
If it takes the rest of my life
Baby, I will wait for you
If you think I'm fine it just ain't true
I really need you in my life
No matter what I have to do
I'll wait for you
Harvey looked at the fiery red-head and noticed a change in her. She was taking a stand and putting her wants ahead of everybody else. Dancing with Donna, hell seeing Donna alone brought all these overwhelming emotions and feelings back – something he couldn't contain.
"Will you ever come back? To New York? To me?" Donna looked at Harvey and could sense his vulnerability and fear of losing her forever.
Been a long time since you called me
(How could you forget about me?)
You gotta be feeling crazy
How can you walk away
(When) everything stays the same?
I just can't do it, baby
"Maybe. One day. I won't come back anytime soon because everything is starting to play out for me. I'm happy and content, Harvey. I can't sacrifice my happiness for you anymore." Her eyes widened realising what she just said.
What will it take to make you come back?
Girl, I told you what it is, and it just ain't like that
Why can't you look at me?
You're still in love with me
Don't leave me crying
Baby, why can't we just, just start over again
Get it back to the way it was?
If you give me a chance, I can love you right
But you're telling me it won't be enough
"Was it that bad working for me? I didn't even realise how much you have sacrificed for me all these years. I'm sorry about that Donna. I should never have taken you for granted."
"Harvey, you don't have to apologise. It was my job, but thank you for realising. I know that things aren't always easy, but sometimes saying things from the heart are the hardest." Donna gulped.
So, baby, I will wait for you
'Cause I don't know what else I can do
Don't tell me I ran out of time
If it takes the rest of my life
Baby, I will wait for you
If you think I'm fine it just ain't true
I really need you in my life
No matter what I have to do
I'll wait for you
So why does your pride make you run and hide?
Are you that afraid of me?
But I know it's a lie what you're keeping inside
That is not how you want it to be
"I hear Bertha has taken the reigns for me. How's she doing?" Donna tried to ease the tension between the two.
"She's doing very well, but she's no you." Harvey muttered.
"Harvey…" Donna warned.
"What? I'm stating the truth. I want you to come back! I need you." There's the goddamn word again. Donna was beginning to hate those words.
"You can't keep saying that you need me, Harvey! It's all you ever say – that you need me. Well, I need something else in my life. You need me as your secretary, nothing else."
Baby, I will wait for you
Oh
Baby, I will wait for you
If it's the last thing I do
"I told you that I love you! And you told me that you love me too. Isn't that enough?" Donna shook her head and gave him a painful smile.
"Love me how?" Donna asked him simply. It was the question that she had once asked Harvey, and again she is met with silence.
Baby, I will wait for you
'Cause I don't know what else I can do
Don't tell me I ran out of time
If it takes the rest of my life
Baby, I will wait for you
If you think I find it just ain't true
I really need you in my life
No matter what I have to do
I'll wait for you
"Donna, I –"
"It's alright, Harvey." Donna interrupted and smiled sadly, "the silence was enough for me to know. One day, you will understand why I'm doing this. Goodbye Harvey."
I'll be waiting
-Wait for You by Elliott Yamin
Donna broke from their embrace, said goodbye to everyone and left the wedding heading back to her hotel. Both Harvey and Donna felt the heartache and it was painful.
'I think this is the end of us' – Donna's final thoughts before she fell asleep crying into the pillow.
Goodbye Harvey.
