I came up with this idea when I recently saw an episode where Japan was trying to copy France what he was doing and this idea hit me like a volley ball! Literally, I got hit on the head by a volley ball when that happened…and it hurt…
Anyway, please enjoy this parody!
A Fad Spread like Romance
Japan was following France the whole day and is officially confused of his abnormal ways, not understanding why he flirts with girls or why he would act very sexy to all the people they meet while he stays from behind. Japan—who is oblivious to France's acts—tried to actually copy all of his unusual European ways such as blowing air kisses to ladies. During the walk in the dirt ground streets of Hokkaido where Japanese all flocked the afternoon's day off selling goods before their business finished off and others just enjoying this day, Japan watches in confusion of France who flirts with girls once again.
I do not understand these Europeans, he thought as France kissed one Japanese girl's hand that made her squeal in joy. They kiss about everyone they meet—and they are all strangers to them! How can I make friends and allies if I do not know their ways?
France—a French blond with many talents of flirting to Japan—noticed him looking at him strangely yet Japan is too deep in thought that he doesn't know he seemed dangerous looking at France.
"Oui, Japan?"
"Eh?" Japan said, speaking Japanese by accident. "Ah, I am sorry." He apologizes with an innocent smile. "I am just confused why many of my people are so interested in you."
"Is that all?" France asked in a curious, flirtatious tone with a smirk. "I thought you were just admiring my sense of romance?"
Japan shook his head. "No, I just want to know how you were able to get everyone to like you so much." and Japan smiles to him—yet mentally France cries because of this—though Japan could not tell.
"Oui, I should explain easy techniques that will help you understand." France said, pointing his index finger up while looking at Japan with a keen blue eye. "First, you have to understand that in my country along with the other known nations; we all kiss each other to show our greetings.
"No matter what—male or female—they will become your best friend if you kiss them on the lips or mouth," France said. "Second, sometimes they might want to question you why you're doing this. So explain to them you just watched a movie and if they ask what kind, just smile and act cute."
Japan tilts his head to the left. "But why?"
"It adds cuteness to it," France merely explains. "When you act dumb, they get more turned on-I mean, taking more of a liking to you. Then you'll be able to make friends!"
Japan slams his small hand with his fist, completely understanding all of France's teachings. "Wakarimashita, I'll practice at home right away!" and Japan starts to run off.
France brought out his hand and tries to stop him. "Wait, don't you want me to help?" he cried. "I'll teach you the ways of kissing!" But Japan was gone in the busy crowds—leaving France all alone.
…
Japan found himself smiling down in the hallway, though the hallway is empty; he felt that today will be a good day. Japan walks over to the large doors that enter the conference room, he opens the doors and immediately he hears nothing but yells from Britain and Japan sees France smirking at him like Britain didn't know anything.
"And another thing-!" but then Britain turns his head, looking at Japan with his lime-green eyes and quickly brushed his short blond hair with his hand and a blush. "Japan!" he says in surprise.
Japan walks over to Britain and gets close enough to him. "Good morning, Britain." Japan then leans over to his face and unexpectedly, he kisses Britain!
The kiss was long; Britain's lime-green eyes shot in shock yet he carries on letting Japan kiss him. When the kiss ended, Japan pulls away and smiles shyly at the red blushing Britain who looks like he was about to faint.
"Ja-Japan…"
Japan merely smiles cheerfully to the red-faced Britain. Britain feels hot under his skin, feeling like he could just explode like brightly joyous fireworks. Then, the door from behind opens and Japan looks over his shoulder to see his good friend America with his usual bright blue eyes sparking with enthusiasm yet covered by his glasses and dusty blond hair swaying in his head.
"Yo, Japan!" America greeted with a wave as Japan walks over to him with a kind smile. "What's up? You wouldn't believe the craziest dream I-"but then Japan cuts him off by sealing a mouth-to-mouth kiss that made America glow bright red in his skin.
Japan pulls away and sees a shocked America. "Japan, what was that?" he asked, having an uneasy smile across his face while his face burned crimson red.
"I thought of kissing you!" Japan merely said, and then Japan hears an unusual sound that sounded like a heartbeat thumping loudly.
Japan looks over America's shoulder and at the door, in came China—a man with long hair tied into a ponytail, South Korea—a boy with a Korean traditional outfit with overly long sleeves and Greece with his trail of cats following him everywhere.
"What's all the commotion all about, aru?" China asked, staring at Japan who he wished to accuse of the unnatural noises he heard from outside. "Japan, if this is your doing-"but once again, Japan cuts this man up by kissing him!
South Korea stared wide open with his jaw opened in horror, Greece seemed natural than usual when he saw Japan kissing China.
Japan pulls away from the kiss and stares at the crimson red China. "Wh-wh-what was this, aru?" he asked. "Are you trying to pull my leg as they say aru? If you are—you are going to get it, aru!"
"No," Japan said. "I just wanted to do this." and with that, he made China burst with redness that burns his skin.
South Korea—completely jealous—pulled both China and Japan apart from each other and looked teary-eyed at Japan.
South Korea looks up, upset. "What about me, da ze?" South Korea is at the brink of tears until Japan pulls him close and kisses him. Japan lightly pushes South Korea out of the kiss, making him look in a daze.
When Japan went over to Greece who held onto his black furred cat looking at him with his gem green eyes, Greece suddenly lowers his face and kissed Japan on the lips. Loud shrieks from all the men—except for France—filled the air when Greece kissed Japan before he did. However, when Greece had enough of his kiss from Japan, he only smiles angelic at Greece.
And soon, this whole fad started to pass around. Japan kept kissing everyone who walked in that door—that even included Liechtenstein before Switzerland could start rapidly shooting Japan—making this conference canceled because of what they both did. After that, everyone who had been kissed—clarifying everyone except France—decided to pay Japan a small visit this afternoon.
…
Britain pulled his collar to let steam out as he stood on Japan's front porch with a bouquet of lilies in his hand. Britain felt it was necessary to do, since he didn't know whether or not to come this afternoon looking dashing as he could. He made sure that the flowers are blooming brightly for Japan—he didn't want to blow this chance as he took his fist to knock on the door.
Knock, knock, Knock
No answer. So Britain decided to wait, thinking it'd be best for himself not to pressure Japan because of his unexpected visit. The skies looked light blue with no fluffy white clouds in sight, making this near crawling afternoon a lovely breezy day as the winds flew pass Britain's face to cool his flushing red face.
"Britain?" he heard a voice say behind, turning around and there stood America with a large pink box in his hands. "What're you doing here, dude?" he looked for once…serious at Britain, making him squirm with fear.
"M-me?" he splutters. "I was just…" he ended up looking down at his flowers, embarrassed to confess.
"You do realize Japan's mine, right?" America asked, half-cockily. "For I happen to be the hero of this day!"
Britain storms over to him and looks up with anger—Britain was also embarrassed that he's shorter than America.
"What the bloody hell are you talking about, sir?" Britain sneers with distaste. "I am the one who Japan kissed first, so I should be with him for that!" Britain turns around and no longer faces America, looking up in the air with a triumphed face. "Unlike you, I don't have hamburger scent in my mouth!"
"Hey, so you know, Britain," America said. "Those flowers, they happen to be very shitty, so you can go and shove them up your psycho headed, Tinkerbell loving butt."
Britain spun around, facing America in rage. "How dare you talk to Tinkerbell like that, now you made her cry, you blubbering git!"
With that, it became a staring contest between America and Britain as bolts of lightning shot through their eyes. Ad they continued to do this, Britain was for sure to win while he heard footsteps passing by but didn't want to lose to this American blubber head.
"Hi Britain, hi America," a soft voice said and passes by them.
"Hey Greece," they both said, almost similarity together. But then, the staring contest was a draw when both of them looked over to see Greece going over to the door with something in his arms.
"WHAT THE HELL, GREECE?" America shouted first, nearly bursting an ear drum from both Greece and Britain.
Greece merely turned around; there he shows a large black cat with green eyes and a large grin on its face. Greece took a while to process in what to say, his hazel-colored eyes looked at the bewildered Britain and America as they waited for his answer. Britain sees him look down at his cat and is silent to them.
"JAPAN'S MINE, BALL LICKER!" America cursed, seriously pissed and Britain gasped when he heard him say such a terrible thing.
Out of nowhere, a huge laugh is heard from behind and when Britain looked over America, he sees Turkey wearing a black suit with a grey tie around his neck, hair slick back and yet he's still wearing his white mask that blocked most of his face.
"Awesome, America!" Turkey shouts. "That'll surely piss Greece off for sure!" And then Turkey starts laughing harder and louder.
Then, out of nowhere, Britain saw Norway from behind who looked at Turkey rather curiously until Turkey looked over his shoulder to see him.
"N-Norway?" Turkey saw the small green box with a cute black ribbon on top. "You…you like him, too?"
Norway only nodded, not saying a word of the matter. And then, Turkey starts to burst into floods of tears. Greece—who still stood near the porch—didn't say anything at all and tried to keep his cool to Britain's perspective, no one wants to be called a ball licker who has a pure love for cats.
"What the hell's going on, bastardo?" another voice said, showing Romano walking up in the stone platform where he saw everyone and gasped. "What the hell are you idiotas doing here?"
"Back off, you," Turkey said, trying to control his weeping voice that bugged Romano as his eyes in golden brown glared at him. "Japan's mine, you tomato bastard…"
…
Germany has no idea what he's doing, carrying a large bouquet of roses in his hand while tying his blasted black tie up to look a little decent to meet Japan this afternoon. The skies all went completely red orange with orangey-colored clouds that filled the air finally come, the air is sweet with soft fragrance of flowers all in the air. Staring up the high stairs of stone with his light baby blue eyes, he starts to take the steps and tries to get up. After a few minutes, clearing his mind and feeling more reassured of himself that he'll be able to talk with Japan about what happened.
But when he made it all the way up, out in front of Japan's porch is where he found a complete brawl of all the nations all gathered here today. Germany watched as Denmark with his gleaming blue eyes and blond hair tries to attack a defenseless Italy who kept running around the whole large front porch as Britain starts firing cannons at America who only threw hand grenades.
Germany felt a string of stress in his head, so he took a deep breath and opened his mouth slightly. "WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?" he screamed which made all the nations look over to him.
Soon, a large number of people started shouting over one another because they wanted to say their side of the story. And all of the nations glared each other, getting pissed at each other as one of the nations's brought out their weapons.
"ENOUGH!" Germany shouts and everyone came into a halt. "I expected something like this to happen, but I didn't think you would all do this on his front porch!"
"Germany's right!" Sealand shouts, everyone then actually turned their sights to the small non-nation. "We all were acting like bloody wankers and disrespected Japan's home-"Britain—enraged—ran over to him and hits him on the head to make him burst into tears.
"That's what you get for cursing!"
"You cursed all the time, too!" Sealand whined, his blue eyes filled with tears as he held his head in pain.
Some people nod, some people murmured in agreement: he did curse a lot. Especially when he's on a hangover.
Germany walks forward and everyone made a path for him. He continues to talk.
"Look, it's fairly obvious he's just shy about all of us coming out here and wanting an answer from him. So I will knock on his door and when he comes out, we'll talk to him in a matter of formality."
He stops at the porch and glare at everyone.
"Yessire!" everyone said, some of the nations like Austria and Prussia only brush it off with a glance looking away.
…
Japan was in his room the whole time, hiding from all the nations outside who brutally started war in his front porch. Then, he hears a knock on the door which he could tell must be one of the nations outside.
"Japan?" he heard a German voice shout. "It's me—we want to talk to you!"
Japan feels fear consume him—yet a part of him wanted to go out and reason out everything that happened this morning. So, with a little courage inside of him, he gets up, leaves his room and makes his way to the front door. When he opened the door, he sees everyone all standing behind Germany who held a bouquet of roses.
"Japan!" they cried. "Who do you like?" They shouted.
"Ano..." Japan murmured. "I want to confess something-"
"Japan?" someone gently said from far behind everyone, and then everyone moved away to show the short blond haired girl and green eyes. It is Liechtenstein!
Liechtenstein wore a lovely red dress, she walks over to the front porch as everyone made a path for her to go. She made it to the front, looked at Germany's bouquet of roses and picks one out.
"Japan," she said, giving Japan the blooming scarlet red rose. "This is for you, because I love you."
"Eto, Liech," Japan said. "I'm sorry to say this...but I don't love you or anyone." Everyone including Liechtenstein gasped in shock. "This was all because I was so scared of wanting to make friends, I asked France to tell me how to make friends." He held up his hands in defense. "I know it was wrong, but I am so sorry that I gotten everyone mixed up into this." Japan then bows politely. "So, gomennasai."
"Oh, Japan," Germany sighed and pats his back. "You should've known, we're all your friends." he turned to everyone with a smile. "Guys?"
And then, everyone all cheered: "YEAH!"
But then, Japan and all of the nations heard soft cries from Liechtenstein. Her face filled with tears and her rose is on the ground, feeling so sad that she learned the truth like this.
BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG!
"JAPAN!" and so, this story ends...having Japan running away from the happy-go-lucky Switzerland who starts shooting at his friend at the end of this day.
Moral of this story: Always trust your friends, be yourself no matter how odd you are and DON'T LISTEN TO FRANCE!
