Words Unsaid.
(Lucy - Skillet.)
Hey Lucy, I remember your name
I left a dozen roses on your grave today
I'm in the grass on my knees, wipe the leaves away
I just came to talk for a while
I got some things I need to say.
Tony crouched over the stone. He ran his hand softly over the headstone. It was course to his hands, but it soothed him a little inside. He felt a tear roll slowly down his cheek, as he slowly traced the letters with his finger. A sob choked in his throat, a strangled sound escaped him.
His tear was soon joined by another, faster one. Before he realized, his face was soaked with his tears with the ground around him, absorbing those which fell. He shook his head, muttering, grief unable to console him or make sense of his strangled words.
Now that it's over
I just wanna hold her
I'd give up all the world to see that little piece of heaven looking back at me
Now that it's over
I just wanna hold her
I've gotta live with the choices I made
And I can't live with myself today
"This isn't healthy Tony," a voice above him sounded. He ignored the voice, wanting to be left alone. "You don't have to be here. Least of all every day."
Hey Lucy, I remembered your birthday
They said it'd bring some closure to say your name
I know I'd do it all different if I had the chance
But all I got are these roses to give And they can't help me make amends
He slowly looked up. He blinked heavily, the tears stinging his eyes. A woman was standing behind him. Tall in heels, dressed in a smart military uniform, a sad smile on her face, her brown eyes filled with concern. He turned his gaze back to the grave, and grabbed the old flowers, replacing them with fresh ones. He ensured the grave was tidy, before he stood up.
"This isn't healthy Tony," the woman repeated. "While it's nice you tend to my grave everyday, I don't like seeing you like this. You should be out womanizing. Just like you used to. Pathetically, I might add." He heard a soft giggle, and he choked out a light bark, the grin remaining. Turning around the woman hadn't vanished. He reached out a cupped her face, resting his forehead against hers.
Here we are
Now you're in my arms
I never wanted anything so bad
Here we are
For a brand new start
Living the life that we could've had
"It's my fault," he whispered. "I should have known. I should have saved you."
He opened his eyes, to see nothing in front of him, but grass.
"I'm sorry Kate."
"Where's DiNozzo?" Gibbs barked. McGee and Ziva shook their heads.
"Tony just said he wanted to be alone for lunch. Left quite hastily actually," Ziva commented.
Gibbs leant back in his chair, thinking.
"Kate," he whispered as he stood up, and armed himself, grabbing the car keys. McGee looked at him, tracing Gibbs' lips.
Kate.
"Boss!" McGee shouted. Gibbs turned to face him, standing in front of the elevator. "Mind if I join you?" Gibbs nodded curtly, and McGee rushed into the elevator, leaving Ziva perplexed.
Me and Lucy walking hand in hand
Me and Lucy never wanna end
Just another moment in your eyes
I'll see you in another life
In heaven where we never say goodbye
Gibbs and McGee rushed into the car, and sped to the cemetery. Parking at the first available place, they got out and walked quickly to where Kate rested. Gibbs saw Tony first. He stuck his hand out, stopping McGee in his tracks. They stood in silence watching him. He had his hand out in front of him, cupping thin air, his head bowed slightly.
"Stay here!" Gibbs hissed, McGee nodding. Slowly, cautiously almost, he walked up to Tony. McGee watched both men intently. Gibbs made his way to Tony, grabbing his outstretched hand, and pulling him into an embrace. McGee felt someone on his shoulder. He looked and saw Abby and Ziva.
Abby ran up to Gibbs and Tony, wrapping them in a big hug. Ziva looked at McGee, perplexed.
"It's personal," he said, as he walked off into the group hug, Gibbs and Abby pulling him in. Ziva just watched as the four people cried silently on the spot, sharing in the pain, the grief, the continued gnawing hole within each of them. After what felt like an eternity, they broke apart, eyes red. Gibbs held Abby's arm within his own, leading her away from the grave.
McGee followed suit, stopping every few yards and turning back to Tony. Tony reluctantly followed. He reached the tree line, where they were all waiting for him. He turned back one last time and saw Kate standing behind her gravestone. She was smiling at him. She gave him one last cheeky grin, and a wave, before melting away.
Here we are, now you're in my arms
Here we are for a brand new start
Got to live with the choices I've made
And I can't live with myself today
Me and Lucy walking hand in hand
Me and Lucy never wanna end
Got to live with the choices I've made
And I can't live with myself today
Tony barked out a laugh, and walked away with the group, Kate still firmly in his mind; a little more at peace. Her voice in his head. He listened to her all the way back to the car, and then the office.
She knew him better than anyone.
She knew he would be better.
Hey Lucy, I remember your name
In time.
