I come back upstairs from getting a drink to go back into my room. I start to push open the door when I hear someone behind it, sad and almost whimpering. Peeta? I thought he was in the shower. He said he was getting in the shower when I went downstairs a few minutes ago. I knock on the door which feels strange because it is my room too, actually it was my room first, but I would never use that against him.

"Peeta?" I ask as I come into the room. He doesn't respond. He is sitting with his head between both of his hands and his elbows on his knees scrunched over. He is visibly shaking from here. I go over to him sitting right by him on the bed.

"What is it?" I ask. He still doesn't answer. I am about to touch his shoulder when I see how tense all of his muscles are. He is quivering but not from being cold and I can see the veins in his arms and the line of his jaw as he tenses up. I wonder if I should touch him. Maybe he just wants to be alone. I have felt that way before. I wonder if he will even tell me if he doesn't want me to touch him.

Then a terrible thought runs through my mind. What if he had a flashback about me? What if he will go mutt as soon as I touch him? What if he is desperately trying to suppress that right now? Wouldn't he be yelling at me to get out? Wouldn't he be running over to Haymitch to protect me from him? He would because those are all of the things he has done in the past and those are all of the things someone as selfless as Peeta would do to keep me safe. Even if it means sacrificing himself.

We already know he proved he would do that a million times over just to save me once. And that's why I stay.

"Do you want to be alone?" I ask him.

A shake of his head tells me he doesn't.

So I wrap my arm around his shoulder and he leans into me. Now I know why he was shaking so bad, he's crying. But why? What happened in the ten minutes that I was gone that he felt this terrible? He has been okay lately. We both have. Nightmares come every night but that happens and it will always happen. I hold him tight to me while he shakes and sobs into my shoulder and neck. He wraps an arm around my waist to clutch onto me there.

"I'm here." I tell him and keep a hand in his hair kissing his forehead. I don't really know what to say because well I am me and I never know what to say and also because I don't even know what he is upset about yet. So for a long time I hold him there like that. I just stroke his hair and whisper soft words to him when the sobs get louder and kiss his forehead when they are quieter.

After a while he stops crying and just sniffles. He leans up holding onto me with just his hands. I wipe his face off and he leans into my hand carefully. I look into his sad blue eyes and still wonder what it could be and if I can even fix it. He doesn't even offer any words for explanation or anything. I don't ask for them. When you love someone this much it's the silence that matters not the words.

"Do you want to lay with me?" I ask.

He nods. I help him out of his tear soaked shirt before leaning back on the pillows of the bed. I have him wrap his arm around me and rest his head on my chest. I play with his hair carefully and kiss his forehead sometimes. After a while I see his eyes drifting but he tries to wake himself up every time. He doesn't want to sleep. He is afraid of sleeping. I know he will tell me later what happened. But I don't know that I even care. I just want to make him feel better and ever since I realized that I loved him, even before then, I knew that was the only thing that was important to me. I just want him to be happy and I want him to be happy with me.

So I sing.

I know that he likes it and I know that it makes him feel better so I do. I sing the Valley Song because it is the most peaceful one that I can think of at the time. I sing the versus only twice before he gives it up and his eyes close, his breathing evening out and he is asleep. I watch him for a while. Sometimes his lips quiver. It is one of the saddest thing I have ever seen in my life. And sometimes his jaw clenches and releases within seconds. I can only wonder what he is dreaming about. But he needs to sleep. I hold onto him tight so that he still feels that I am here and so that there is no way that I can let go of him when I fall asleep minutes later.

I wake up and look at the clock. It's around one in the morning. We slept six hours without waking up? That is a long time. That never happens to us anymore. I am sort of glad. I can still feel his chest evenly breathing under my palms. I watch him again as I try to drift off but my body won't let me. I have been in this position for far too long.

After a few minutes he stirs and wakes up. He looks up at me moving so that I can shift to sit up. He rolls over to lay down on his back. His eyes are bright red and look like they itch plus they are puffy. I run my hand along the side of his face softly with a hint of a smile. I don't want him to tell me anything he doesn't want to.

It's completely dark now and I know we both don't like it very much. I push to get up off of the bed when Peeta grabs my arm looking desperately at me without saying anything at all. I understand. He doesn't want me to leave. I am not going anywhere.

"I'm just opening the window." I say. He nods and lets go. I open it and come right back laying beside him. We both lay on our sides so that we can see each other and I trace patterns along the scars on his chest and side and face. I lean my face in to kiss him once on the mouth. He kisses me back reaching for me, desperately and leaning in. He pulls my body close to his and I put my hands on his chest and in his hair. We kiss like this for what feels like several minutes but that is as far as it goes. We both know that won't happen right now for him. Normally after a few minutes of this I would be able to tell if it would go further, with my legs pushed so close up against him but now I can tell that it won't and I didn't really want it to.

He is too vulnerable. Sometimes it can be a nice distraction and sometimes we have to face our fears. I would rather just have sex. Wouldn't everyone? But that isn't how life is supposed to work. We can't all be Finnick Odair.

"I'm trying," he says.

"You're trying what?"

"I'm trying to be strong."

"You don't have to. You know that. I'll hold you forever if that is what you want." I tell him.

He nods and interlaces his fingers with mine.

"What is it?" I ask as he looks down. His lips trembles and he tries to hide it. I brush my finger under his eye as a tear drops down. I just want him to tell me.

"I'm s-scared."

I rub his shoulder leaning closer to him so that he knows he is not alone.

"You're okay," I remind him.

He nods.

"Do you want to tell me about it?"

He shakes his head.

"What do you want?" I say, "I'll do anything."

"Just stay here…with me."

I nod cuddling up with him and holding one of his hands, never to let go. I kiss his lips one time before I let him try to fall asleep again.