"Simon, I've been thinking about us, and–"

"Bram, don't you do this to me again!" Simon interrupted, his heart catching in his throat. "Don't you dare do this over the phone. Not again." His voice squeaked on the last couple of words. He pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Simon, I–"

"Don't say any more. I'll be right there."

Simon hung up, grabbed his keys, and headed out the door. He doubled back to lock it, remembering that his parents and sister were out for the afternoon. He raced down the driveway, but made himself drive at a reasonable speed the few blocks to Bram's house.

He swiped at an errant tear that trickled down his cheek. Bram better not be breaking up with him. Again. Another tear. Damn! Where were they coming from anyway? I mean, he got it – mostly – when Bram suggested they break up a couple of years ago. They were halfway through college, in separate states, and missing each other was sheer torture. Bram's pre-med program had gotten tougher than ever that semester, and the stress of that and maintaining a long distance relationship was wearing on him. He'd suggested that they break up, just for a year, to see if things got better.

They didn't.

At least not for Simon.

But he'd promised Bram that he'd try, so he had, but no one compared to Bram, so he'd eventually given up. Without Bram to talk to, think about, or plan to visit, and with no interest in dating anyone else, Simon had doubled up on his course work, finishing his computer science degree a semester early. He'd been working off some of the things on his dad's honey-do list in exchange for staying at home while he looked for a job. He hadn't been looking very hard, though, because what he really wanted to do was get a job in New York, where Bram was still going to school, so they could be closer together. Simon hadn't yet asked Bram about moving to New York given what had happened the last time Bram was too stressed.

They'd gotten back together a year and a day after they'd broken up. Bram hadn't fared any better than Simon had, saying that a world without Simon in it was not a world he wanted to live in.

And now it was happening again.

Simon just couldn't win. He was going to lose Bram anyway.

He swiped at another tear. And drove right past Bram's house. There wasn't anywhere to park. Strange. Bram hadn't said anything about company or a party. Must be a neighbor.

Simon had to park a block away. He walked to Bram's house, stopping at the foot of the driveway, watching Bram walk down to meet him. How could he be smiling like that when Simon's world was about to end? Bram leaned in to kiss Simon, but Simon turned his head.

"Wow. You really did go all the way there, didn't you?"

"Yeah, well, why wouldn't I?"

"How about just last night we were saying how much we love each other and never want to be apart again?"

"We said that the last time, too, but you still left me."

"Really?"

"Yes. Really. Every word of that conversation is etched into my brain. The way I felt before it. The devastation I felt for months afterward." Simon ran his fingers through his hair, as he walked past Bram toward the house. Halfway up the driveway, he turned to look back at Bram, his heart in his eyes. "I love you, Bram. God knows I love you so much! And I get it. I do. Pre-med was hard, and I know it only gets worse from there. So I get it if you don't want or need me in your life right now. I've loved every single minute we've been together, but there's a part of me that's been waiting for the other shoe to fall. So, if it's got to fall, let it, but not over the phone. No. You look me in the face and tell me so that I can tell you, just like you once told me, that a world without you in it is too lonely to bear." Tears were streaming down his face now, and he had to look away.

And then Bram was there, kissing him and holding him tight. And Simon loved it. Loved Bram too much not to kiss him back. So he did. With every ounce of emotion he could muster, he kissed this man he loved goodbye. When Bram pulled away, their gazes locked. Simon felt Bram put something in his hand as he said, "There."

"What?"

Bram looked down, so Simon did, too. In his hand was a gold ring. "What's this?"

"Your other shoe," Bram told him.

Simon didn't understand. He looked at Bram, questions spilling from his eyes.

Bram's lips turned up in a gentle smile. "Marry me."

Simon fell.

Standing stock still in the middle of the driveway, he tripped over absolutely nothing, and fell on his ass.

Bram chuckled as he sat next to Simon. "I didn't mean for you to take it so literally," he teased.

"What?" Simon asked, dazed.

"The shoe falling ... you fell ..."

"Oh." Simon stared at Bram, not really knowing what was going on.

Bram smiled ruefully. "I really did a number on you that time, didn't I? If it helps, I want you to know that I didn't want to break up at all. It's just with the work at school and both my parents harping at me to do it –"

"Both?"

"Yeah. I can't blame them, though. Their hearts were in the right place."

"What? Breaking mine?"

Bram took Simon's hand in his own.

Simon tried to remember how to breathe.

"No," Bram explained. "That wasn't their intention at all. It's just they got married right out of high school and then I came along and it wasn't long before everyday life destroyed the love they'd had for each other, and they didn't want that to happen to us. So I agreed – very reluctantly – to try it, and I promise you, Simon, it was the worst year of my life! I even had a countdown calendar set to mark the day when I could ask you to be my boyfriend again."

Simon smiled. Bram had told him some of this right after they'd reunited, but Simon still liked hearing it again.

"Did I ever tell you I almost didn't ask?"

Simon's eyes flew to Bram's in alarm. "No! Why?"

"I was afraid you might say no," he sighed. "Kind of like now."

"But I wouldn't've," Simon declared. "It's just that those were the same words you used the time we broke up, so I was all set to get my heart broken again, but you said –" He broke off. "Wait." He sat up straight as something occurred to him. He looked out at the street, then back at a now-grinning Bram. "What?" He looked at the ring he was still holding, then back at Bram. "Did you just ask me to marry you?"

Bram nodded. "Yup."

Simon's mouth opened and closed a couple of times as he tried to get the words out. "Married?" he clarified. "Forever?"

"'Til death do us part," Bram confirmed.

"And I wouldn't have to ask you if it's OK that I want to move to New York? Because we'd be married?"

Humor lighting his face, Bram leaned in and shared a secret, "Sometimes married couples even get to live together."

Simon's mind was racing a zillion miles a minute and he'd lost the ability to speak.

Bram reclaimed the ring. He held it up in front of Simon's face. "So, Simon, what do you say? Will you marry me?"

A grin worked its way across Simon's face; first one corner of his mouth, then the other.

"Nod once for yes," Bram instructed, "twice for definitely."

Simon reached for Bram's neck to pull him in for a serious kiss, but Bram pulled back. "Nope. You've got to answer the question first." He rolled the ring between his thumb and finger in front of Simon's face.

Simon nodded impatiently, "Hell, yeah," he stated thickly. "I'm not ever going to let you leave me again."

Bram laughed as he captured Simon's left hand and worked the ring onto his ring finger. "It's a bit small," he said. The ring got wedged just above the second knuckle.

"I don't care," Simon said, pulling Bram toward him so he could finally get his kiss.

An excited roar sounded behind them. They didn't hear it at first, but when Leah and Nick pulled them to their feet, Bram admitted, "I kind of hoped you'd say yes, so I invited a few friends over to celebrate."

"Congratulations, you two!" Leah threw her arms around Simon's neck, then Bram's. "I'm so happy for you both!"

"Yeah," echoed Nick, "It's great!" He fist-bumped them, then gave them each a hug, too.

Before they knew it, they were the guests of honor at a party celebrating their engagement with their friends, their families, and the neighbors who had watched them grow up.


Several hours later, most of the guests had departed; all that remained were the two families, Leah and Nick. Simon, sitting on the edge of an armchair, was anxious to be gone, but he knew he had to stay. He couldn't sit still, though. If one knee wasn't bouncing, the other one was. If not the knees, then he was tapping something or jiggling his glass or fidgeting in some other way. He appreciated the gesture of the party, but he hadn't been alone with Bram since the proposal in the driveway, and he was impatient to be with him again.

Just them.

All alone.

He jumped at Bram's touch. Bram chuckled and took Simon's plate and glass and set them on the table beside the chair. "Moms," he addressed both his mother and Simon's, "thank you so much for the party. It was great, but I think we're going now."

Simon jumped up and nearly ran to the door, only to be thwarted by hugs, good wishes, and 'do you have your keys?' by the moms, but they finally made it out.

Once out of sight of the front windows, Simon rounded on Bram, intending to plaster him to the wall and kiss him until neither of them could breathe. He stopped just shy of touching Bram, though, turning away with a roar. "God, Bram! I can't handle this!"

"What?" Bram asked in alarm. "What's the matter?"

"You. I don't know. Me?"

"What? Something's wrong with us?"

"Yes! I mean, no." Simon shook his head. "I mean all day I've wanted to be alone with you, to touch you, feel your arms around me." He moved to stand in front of Bram, looked deeply in his eyes and caressed the air around his face, but didn't touch him. "I need you to kiss me. Right now," he declared softly. "I need that so badly."

Bram leaned forward, happy to comply.

Simon turned with another roar of frustration and stomped down the driveway.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Bram demanded.

"I can't," Simon moaned. "Don't you get it? If I touch you now, I'll explode! And I just –, I mean I –, and –, not here –, and, oh, God, I don't know what to do!" He groaned as he dropped to his knees and buried his face in his hands.

Bram was delighted – not that Simon was a tortured wreck at the moment, never that. It was sweet, in a way, to watch Simon, who almost never lost his cool, to be so flustered and confused and head over heels in love. Bram knew Simon's feelings for him ran deep, and Bram treasured that with every ounce of his being. But that didn't mean he didn't see the humor in the agonized person at the end of the driveway. "Simon, sweetheart, I am going to adore being married to you," he admitted as he ambled down the driveway. He stopped next to Simon. "All right, Jacques, let's go."

Simon looked up, despair in his eyes. "Where to?"

Bram nudged him with his knee. "Just come on. Your car." He headed down the block.

Simon quickly followed. "Where are we going?"

"Just get in." Bram used his set of keys to Simon's car and pressed the button to unlock the doors, then got behind the wheel.

"I can drive," Simon protested as he got in on the other side.

"No way," Bram told him, pulling away from the curb. "Not in your current state. There's no telling how many lamp posts you'd hit along the way, and I'd like to get there in one piece."

"Where? Where are we going?"

"It's not far now."

Conversation stopped. Simon's fidgeting intensified: bouncing his knees, tapping his thigh, bobbing his head.

Bram could only grin and shake his head in amusement.

"What's so funny? Where are we going?"

"You are. And we're here." Bram pulled into a parking lot in front of a small motel.

"Why are we coming here?"

"The usual reasons."

Bram walked around the car and opened the door for Simon, who was still looking at the building in confusion. "I don't get it," he said.

"Our room's right here, in front of the car," Bram told him, pulling a key card from his wallet. "I didn't want to have to drag you through a lobby." He held the door open and Simon obediently went in.

Simon looked around. "Nice room."

Bram turned on the light and shut the curtains. "Yeah. It might be a bit old and tired, but it's clean."

"Yeah. It is, but I still...don't...get it..." Simon faltered at the heat in Bram's eyes. As the deadbolt clicked into place, Simon finally got it. He gulped. "Are we –?"

Bram nodded. He took a step closer to Simon.

"But we said...wait –"

"Do you want to wait?"

Simon shook his head. "Um...special... ?"

"I think getting engaged is pretty damn special, don't you?" Bram edged ever closer to his fiancé.

Simon whimpered in anticipation. His breathing sped up as Bram stepped even closer.

"Simon, do you promise to love me for richer and poorer and, um,...all that stuff...for as long as we both shall live?" Bram was having trouble thinking.

Simon nodded. Bram was close enough now that he could feel the heat from Bram's body, but still, they didn't touch.

"Simon?"

Simon could barely breathe as he looked up into Bram's eyes.

"I promise to love you for richer...um, in sickness," Bram was getting lost in Simon's eyes, in the intensity of his gaze, and the heat of his body, "and, um, all that stuff, too. OK?"

Simon's eyes dropped to Bram's lips, and he inched a little closer.

Bram was having trouble breathing, but he had to finish. This was a special night and he wanted to do it right – he took in a shuddering breath that didn't help his breathing at all – or at least as right as he could get it under the circumstances. His whole script was gone, erased from his memory, so he decided to just wing it. "So, just between us, let's consider ourselves to be unofficially married, so the honeymoon can begin?"

Simon couldn't hear Bram through the blood rushing through his head. Bram was saying something about being married and honeymoons or – who the hell cared? He grabbed Bram's head and pulled him down for the kiss he so desperately needed.

He burst into flames.

He was hot, so hot! He tugged and pulled at his clothes, desperate to cool off.

And Bram did, too.

At the feel of Bram's skin on his, Simon fell.

Bram caught him.

Then they were on the bed and they were together like they had never been together before.

The flames burned higher. Hotter.

And Simon died. He knew he died.

And then he knew no more.