Disclaimer: okay, so I do not own Death Note, it's characters, or Charlie and the Chocolate Factory or its characters.

Warnings: This is a Yaoi story, so if you don't like it or know what it is, I suggest you either leave or find out, because you might be scarred for life. Also, this story will be rated M for violence, gore, and L and Light action. Yes, it will be L and Light, because L is a dirty pervert, (actually I am because I control his every move bwahahaha!)

McFuzzy: I'm back! This is a totally new story and I even surprised myself when I wrote it. This is the second story that I have posted and the first one has been getting such a wonderful response! I saw this other story on fan fiction and it was N who was Willy Wonka and I was like, "That's totally sweet, but I think I'll make L Willy." Also, this story is very morbid; VERY morbid; I'd like to thank the academy. It ended up in my plots and ideas, becoming somewhat of a Saw and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory spin off. I think it will turn out splendidly.

Ryuuzaki: It seems as if I am the main POV in the story, unlike the last story, where Raito-kun was.

Light: That's not true! She might switch it up a bit!

Ryuuzaki: I highly doubt it, Raito-kun.

McFuzzy: No, Light is correct. I don't think I'll make it just Ryuuzaki's POV. Light's perception is fun to watch!

Light: See! I'm lovvvvveeeed!

Ryuuzaki: …

McFuzzy: Okay, on with the story. By the way, thank you editor for reading my stories and making them perfect. Woo! (She doesn't have a pen name yet…)

Chocolate Rain

Chapter One – Nothing is Sweeter –

Humanity is disgusting; every human that is seen crawling on this earth is just another filthy insect that infests the planet.

Nobody can or will see the horrible things that go on right in front of their eyes. All of life deteriorates in front of them with every minute, blinking at everything they cannot see, everything they will not see, everything they will never see.

Yes, humans are filth.

L sat precariously in his chair, looming over a ledge that descended into a chocolate abyss. Grass lined his toes as he stood up and wiggled them freely.

He chewed on his thumb thinking about how much he hated people – about how much they deserved to die -- and yet he fed them chocolates. Yes, thousands of chocolates to one person a year, sliding their filthy tongues all over each ripple of nugget, chewing and sucking, swallowing with greedy delight and it was all thanks to him.

He was the promotion of greed and it made him sick. He was the beginning of one of the seven deadly sins, making him a sinner and the entire world one giant sin. All of mankind was doomed to receive the death it deserved.

He scowled deep into the chocolate that was below him, observing the rich thickness of it trickling from above, raining its sweet splendor upon the land making everything it touched sweet.

He greatly admired this invention of his. It was chocolate rain.

From the cliff that he stood on, L could see a room stretching out for miles, with hundreds of cocoa plants making a small forest.

There were no animals, or at least he thought so and if there were they would be drizzled in the chocolate rain from above, drowned and then be swept into the great chocolate lake that was lapping at the edges of the cliff.

L could feel the vibrations; each slap hitting the edge like thunder. Sweet, sweet thunder. After it was in the lake, separate rivulets would take the chocolate to separate rooms; in one maybe make candy bars, or in another make chocolate covered strawberries and the animal would be thoroughly cooked alive, then its body would melt in the heat of the chocolate then chopped with the separation of bars.

L remembered when he had a squirrel problem… that didn't last long.

The chocolate that rained from the ceiling was extremely hot and if one was under it, it felt like burning oil searing the skin and burning you alive; it felt like flames licking at the skin.

Yes, it was L's most famous creation; it had appeared in magazines and tabloids all over the world, his many creations were being consumed by the fat people elsewhere, yet no one had ever gotten a glimpse of L.

He turned to go into his glass elevator, pushing a button and flying down a chute with extreme speed. He stood perfectly still because of the stabilizer he had made for it, making velocity and gravity have no effect while in the elevator, even when upside-down.

He continued to chew at his thumb and realized that he was probably in such a cynical mood because he hadn't had his cake for at least three hours. To L, that was a problem; sweets were his nutrition and his life.

They made humanity, even if just a little, taste sweeter and better than it actually was. He supposed that was why he began chocolates in the first place. The elevator took L through a dark room and he observed many of his creations.

He pushed a small red button on the side and made it go slower as he marveled at his creations, room by room, each made of glass.

He got his glass for free because he invented a machine that could craft any amount of sand into any window he desired and it proved to be bullet proof; why he wanted it that way, not even he knew.

One room he passed over was perhaps his favorite. It was the chocolate strawberry room. Each strawberry plant delicately held chocolate strawberries, each one grown with chocolate inside; delicious hard milk chocolate.

His secret was misting the plants with a chocolate formula that made them grow with chocolate inside of them. He would make frequent visits to that room.

Another room he passed held a candy that tasted of fruits; every single fruit in the world to be exact and each minute passed the fruit flavor would change.

L didn't like this candy quite as much because the fruits were exact in taste and some were sour, which he did not like. Perhaps one of his most famous inventions, however, was his strawberry gum that never, ever lost its flavor.

He didn't like gum much, but he liked this one just fine because it had the exact taste of strawberry, not the nasty cough syrup flavor that normally appeared in strawberry flavoring.

He watched each machine pull and turn; whiz and whine in the air of the factory.

They were illuminated with fluorescent lights and the metal bounced off the Lights and made the blackness of the ceiling light up with fabulous moving flashes of what looked like lightning.

L specifically made them to be that way. The ceiling of the factory was completely dark, not a hint of light escaping and unlike every other room, the ceiling was made of steel instead of glass.

L liked the artificial darkness because it hid everything he did not want to see. Real people were in real light and still they were blind.

L admired his machines' lightning effects and remembered when people used to inhabit the factory.

Yes, L mused there were people who would go outside and give his secrets away to other companies. But if they were ever caught, L would make sure to punish them properly by locking them away in a prison for a while, then planting a device on them that recorded their every sound and watched their every move after having them fired.

Their progress was then recorded and played through machines, hundreds of machines that had the intellectual capacity to record if foul play was going on, so L never had to worry unless one alerted him.

L thought it was a bit extreme, but it was the only way to be sure his secrets were safe.

The other problem with human workers was that they died all the time. Every worker was expendable, but disposing their corpses was a problem.

Say, for instance: over one hundred workers died in the chocolate rain because they were too stupid to check the chart for when the rain would happen next; they would be tending the trees when the rain would come on and burn them alive or drown them in the chocolate. Many workers would become a part of a candy bar.

Other bodies would sometimes stick, so L had to go in himself and retrieve them so as not to cause panic in other workers. He would then bury it in a cemetery at a very inconspicuous hour.

Others died while traveling in the chocolate rivers in boats or trying to reach other rooms when they couldn't handle the rapids.

His favorite incidents of death, however, occurred when workers were picking fruits off of the trees that tasted like every fruit. This task required them to throw the picked fruit into a chute in the ground that led to a boiling vat of fruity water.

Some of the workers would simply walk right into them, plunging to their deserved death; being boiled alive.

L had to throw the entire vat away because human flesh made the mixture taste porky and that simply would not do.

Nobody ever missed the bodies. L made sure that each person he selected had very loose family ties, or was an immigrant, someone without many friends.

Each person hired was given an extensive background check and surprisingly enough, there were many disconnected people in society looking for work with decent pay. L was never stingy with his workers and he did warn them of the dangers of the jobs, so all in all he was perfectly legal… except for burying unwanted bodies in a graveyard.

L worked for ten years creating these machines to replace every single worker that he would possibly need and they all ran off of garbage to create oil.

L was a very efficient guy and he thought of everything before producing results. He then fired all of his workers and became the only human to inhabit the factory. He was only twenty seven, meaning he started when he was seventeen.

Considering his life's work for a moment, he stepped out of the elevator to use the only restroom that was in the entire building. He walked inside and looked at the mirror, observing every detail and curve of his face very closely.

His eyes were black as usual, and the black under his eyes were from lack of sleep. He was slouching and wore baggy clothes, only because they were comfortable. He absolutely hated shoes, so they were out of the question.

Other than that he had a pretty face, but he never thought that.

Then it hit him.

What if he died while working on something and it went terribly wrong? He considered the possibilities of that happening and decided that they were slim – seventeen percent – but he had to take every percentage into account.

He wanted his work to continue; he wanted his sweets to spread across the world, even though he hated watching people eat them; but it was important to L.

He needed an heir.

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It was a cold winter day where Light was. The snow trickled from the skies and tickled his face when he looked up to them.

He lived in a small apartment, which didn't bug him, what did was that from his window he could see the most horrendous sight that he had ever seen; a giant chocolate factory.

There were a few problems with this.

Light, for one, hated chocolate. He hated sweets and that was what the factory produced the most of; he did like dark chocolate because it was bitter, but it never produced much of that.

Secondly, it was blocking Light's view of the city.

He had the top floor of the apartment and was paying extra for it, hoping for a fabulous view of the city. Then the world's leading chocolate factory decided to relocate from England to America when Light had only lived in the crappy place for two years.

Thirdly, Light was part of an investigation team and he had received a few tips that the owner of the place was taking part in some shady practices. There were very few records on the workers that had preciously been employed there and the ones that did have records disappeared after having been "fired."

Light found it very conspicuous that every worker had little contact with other people in the outside world. It was not only unsettling, but very suspicious in his eyes. Light hated it with a passion.

Light always refused this type of chocolate or candy for that reason; the L candies. The famous L; he was the most famous procurer of candy in the world and Light hated him without having even met him.

He headed in and looked at the clock, seeing that it was about time to head to work, so he slipped on his coat and turned off his heating to save on money.

He was walking on the slush-filled sidewalks, not for one instant taking his eyes off of the factory. To get to work, he had to walk right past the factory; every single day he would cross its path and scowl at it every time.

It was almost as if he could feel L watching him walk to his work through a windowless prison. Light had considered moving farther away from the factory, but in order to continue his investigation he had to be close.

He hated and loved his job at the same time. The entire idea of the factory was so fascinating that he figured he couldn't stay away even if he tried. It was the same idea with people and murderers.

He finally got past the factory and turned his head in the direction of work, trying to block it form his mind. He crossed a few more streets and went a few blocks farther, observing the emptiness of the streets at five in the morning.

Light loved the early morning because they were silent and empty, as if he was the only one in the world who had a clue what was going on. He finally made it to his small little detective agency and stumbled inside.

Nobody was there yet accept for Light. He was always the first one there, always the hardest working and always the best with the cases. He figured that was why they made him the head chief.

He laughed a bit because his father was the original head chief and had got Light the job, and then willingly relieved his position to Light. He figured he was lucky, but the job didn't pay as much as he would have liked.

He turned on the TV on his desk and started to brew some coffee in the break-room. When he sat down and started to watch, his eyes widened in surprise.

He couldn't believe what he was seeing, so he turned the channel to another news station just to make sure. It was there as well. Every single channel, actually. Light watched in horror as what he was seeing on TV unraveled its delights to him.

It was about L, and not only that, but he had gone and done something that Light never would have expected.

That sly bastard…

A smile spread across his face in sort of an evil grin. He picked up his phone to call his father and inform him of the news, since it pertained to the case in an absurd amount.

The phone rang for a few seconds then picked up. "Hello, dad? This is Light."

"Raito… what's the matter? It's five in the morning." Light couldn't help but muse at the annoyed tone in his father's voice. Light was almost jumping up and down in excitement.

"Yes, I know, I know, but this is important. You know how we're investigating L, right?"

"Of course, but wha-"

"It's L dad. L sent out five golden tickets around the world, he's letting people into the factory, it was on the news!" There was silence on the other end of the phone, both of them sharing the shocked silence.

"I-I'm not sure I understand, Raito."

"The five people who receive the ticket will be able to go into the factory. He hasn't let anybody in ten years! Do you understand what this means? This could be the perfect opportunity to get inside and infiltrate his establishment, exposing him and his acts." Light was still grinning wildly.

Yes, it was the perfect chance and all he had to do was get his hands on a ticket.

"Raito-"

"I have to go. Meet me at the station at your usual time."

Light hung up abruptly and ran to his computer. No; no one had found a ticket yet. There were about six billion people in the world, and only five tickets. So that means the chances of him finding a ticket are… very slim.

He sank into his chair and thought for a moment. He figured if this guy was smart, he wouldn't just randomly send out five tickets. There had to be a pattern; for every number of boxes there should be a ticket administered.

All Light had to do was wait for about two tickets to be found, then he could possibly crack the code, unless there wasn't one, which was highly unlikely. He twined his fingers together in a sinister manor and started to laugh.

He would finally have his chance; his chance to defeat this factory and expose the evils it had been hiding from the public, and rid himself of the factory that had been haunting his dreams for years.

All he had to do now was wait.

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L was sitting in his office. It was painted black, in fact, everything in it was pure black, as L made sure to leave nothing out.

It made him look almost as if he was invisible in the room. At night, L had it fixed so that the room would light up, looking like the milky way all around. If he reached out to grab a star, it was actually a candy made to glow every fifteen hours, so that they glowed at night specifically.

The glow never ran out, either and they were perfectly edible and delicious. He hadn't released them to the public yet, however, because they would get too bright sometimes, causing blindness.

It was a small malfunction, but L could have it worked out in a few weeks. He smiled awkwardly as a candy lit up, then another and a few more until soon the entire room was glowing with beautiful star-looking candies.

He loved it.

He put on some sunglasses and began working again, looking through some paperwork. He looked at his charts and the newspaper, noticing that the entire world was buzzing about L's tickets.

He made sure that they would find out, too. He sent a secret tape to all major news stations in the world, which he had prepared for months in every single language, telling them of the tickets.

He would sell millions of chocolates and at the same time fulfill his purpose of finding an heir. He was sitting in his chair with his knees to his chest, marveling at how clever he was. It helped that he was ridiculously rich as well.

All he had to do now was wait.

End Chapter 1

Cool, I actually made another story. Somebody stop me now, because I'm on fire! Bam!