Disclaimers: Characters aren't mine. They belong to Renaissance Pictures, USA Studios, MCA/TV Rob Tapert and whoever else is lucky enough to own a claim to "Xena". I just like to play with them!

Series: None

Subtext: Ok. If you read my stuff, you know I put a little bit of subtext in the stories. I just can't help myself sometimes. Xena and Gabrielle are soul mates, however you want to look at the big picture. This story portrays them as lovers. Nothing graphic, so I think you can handle it. Note: this is my first time writing a love scene, so please be kind with the reviews on it!!

Sex: There is a slightly graphic scene involving sex between a man and a woman, and later on sex between two women. If this bothers you, please feel free to skip the smutt. It won't bother me ;)

Archiving: Sure! Let me know where ok?

Feedback: For forums, reply in the thread please ;) For fan fiction. Net a simple reply would be nice. And, for those who are reading this on Close to Me you can e mail me here: Spike's Soul Love

Liar by: Spike's Soul Love

It wasn't my fault.

I just want to make myself clear on that. Just in case anyone is wondering why I let Ares pull me into his arms. Why I'm letting him kiss me…

And why, I keep seeing Gabrielle's hurt face flash across my eyes. It's like a stab of guilt between every kiss, like she's placing one of her sais through my heart but I can't seem to stop myself from kissing him.

I sighed in between the kisses, both of our lips bruised. "I can't do this, Ares." I began.

Ares closed his eyes and groaned. "Xena…you drive me insane." he said. "You send out all these signals, and what--"

"Ares." I broke in. "Not now. Now, there's something I must tell you." I winced, licking my lips, knowing he wasn't going to like what I'd say one bit. "I should've told you a while back. It's something about me and Gabrielle."

He paused, lifted one dark eyebrow and sighed. "All right. What is it?" I could almost hear his faint, sardonic thought. Damn that Gabrielle…

"Ares, I can't do this…Gabrielle and I…we're…in love." The words were hard to say. I didn't want to hurt him, I really didn't. But I had to tell him, had to stop him before it got worse. "We've been together ever since the Romans crucified us."

Ares stared at me, then angrily strode out the door of the farm house, slamming it shut. I sank to my knees, running a hand through my hair. "Yeah Xena. Tell him the truth. He'll understand." I mumbled, rolling my eyes.

Not for the first time, I wondered how I got myself into this mess.

The sun was starting to set as I gathered up the firewood Ares had chopped down earlier. If Gabrielle was here, she would've said something poetic about the sun set. I smiled, thinking about her.

"Need any help?"

I turned to see Ares. He'd been gone for most of the day. I figured that it had been for the best. That way he could go and think, and let it sink into his mind.

I shrugged. "If you want to, grab that pile." I nodded at the remaining stack of wood. I already had one in my arms, and was intending to bring it inside and place it in the fire pit.

Ares walked towards it and hefted the wood. "Xena?"

I stopped and turned. "Yeah, Ares?" I asked, hoping he wouldn't make too much of a big deal about my relationship with Gabrielle. I watched his face. He looked puzzled, like he wasn't sure what to say, but wanted to say something.

Which couldn't be too good.

"You and Blondie." Ares began. "You're…lovers?" he swallowed hard on the last part.

I closed my eyes and sighed. "Yes, Ares. We are." I said, switching the pile of logs to my other arm.

He nodded. "So why did she leave you?" he asked, smirking. "Did you two have a little 'tiff'?" he asked me mockingly.

I choose to ignore Ares's sarcasm. "It was a mutual choice." I began. "She didn't leave me…Gabrielle just had to do something for herself. I understand, and told her I'd be here when she got ready to come back." I said. I had full faith in Gabrielle. She would work out whatever she had to, and then we'd find our way back together. Like always.

I started to walk up to the house, but paused and glanced back at Ares. He was still smirking, but had a sad, wistful look in his eyes that made something inside of me pause. He looked like a little boy who'd been refused by his best friend. I felt sorry for him, and there was something else in there too.

I sighed, and shook my head, shook out the thoughts and continued back to the farmhouse. Gabrielle…why did you leave me in this predicament in the first place? I wondered.

I'd almost been asleep when Gabrielle shot up. It was a few days before I traveled to Amphipolis, and we were in a clearing, getting some sleep.

"What's wrong?" I asked, setting my wet stone and sword down, looking worried. "Gabrielle?"

Gabrielle shook her head and grabbed her cantine of water, taking a long, long sip. She looked tormented. "Bad dream?" I asked softly, moving over to her.

"Yeah…" She looked up at me. "Xena, I had a dream about the Amazons." she licked her lips. "I have to go there."

"All right. What was the dream about?" I asked her. I stared at Gabrielle, who shook her head.

"I can't….Xena, this is something I have to do…alone." She whispered, looking down.

I frowned. "What do you mean, Gabrielle?" I asked, using my hand to cup her chin and tilt it upwards. "Are…you leaving me?"

"Yes, and no." Gabrielle smiled at me. "I'm leaving, but not you." she took my hand and squeezed it. "I could never leave you, Xena. You know that."

I bobbed my head. "I know. I just…wasn't sure what's going on. Do you want to talk about it?" I asked her, touching the side of Gabrielle's cheek.

"No." Gabrielle said. "I can't. Just allow me to do this, please?"

I nodded. "Of course, Gabrielle." Whatever Gabrielle wanted, she usually got. She had me wrapped around her fingers rather nice, but it wasn't always such a bad place to be!

"Ok." Gabrielle hugged me to her. "I love you, Xena." she said softly, kissing me. "Let's get some sleep, ok?" She asked. "We have a way to go. I think I'll head off to Amazonia after we get to Amphipolis." she said.

I watched Gabrielle take another drink, cap her water jug and smile reassuringly at me. Then, she got back into her bedrolls. I stared at my bard for a little bit, watching as she fell back into sleep. I took off my armbands, and slid out of my leather bodice, laying down on the pallet next to Gabrielle.

I just hoped that whatever she had to work out, it would bring her back to me.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I thought about this as I walked inside the farmhouse, hearing Ares's steps echo not too far from me. Was there something wrong with me and Gabrielle?

I didn't think so, as we didn't really have a fight. She just seemed to know she was supposed to go to the Amazon lands. Did she have a dream? I walked inside, and headed towards the fire pit. I pushed some of the logs in, stacking the others up.

"Why did Gabrielle leave you?"

I sighed, knowing he was gonna ask that. I turned around. "Ares. I told you. She had something she wanted to do, and I respect her wishes."

"But it's not like her to leave you alone." Ares mused, as though there was some sort of hidden meaning in Gabrielle's taking off. Maybe there was, and I just didn't get it.

"She had to go to the Amazon lands. Maybe she got homesick. They are her family too, after all."

Ares smirked. "But you're her home." he retorted, and grabbed the rocking chair, setting in it.

"So you're gonna let me start the fire eh?" I asked and smirked.

Ares shrugged. "You're used to this mortal life style, I'm not." he replied. I shook my head, going to my saddlebag and digging out my flint. Walking back to the fire pit, I could feel Ares's eyes boring into me. It made me tense, uneasy. My stomach felt like I'd swallowed some of my own cooking--which can never be good.

"You really love her?"

I was messing with the flint when he said that, and had just got it to spark. Ares looked wistful, probably wishing that all he had to do was think about fire and create it. I have to admit there's something satisfying about making fire yourself. I've tried to teach Ares that, but he just blows me off. "Of course I do." I rose, whipping my hands on my leather pleats. "Gabrielle and I have been through a lot, Ares." I told him. "So much more than you could ever understand. I would never, ever leave her."

He nodded, and closed his dark eyes, opened them and watched me. "Does she realize how damn lucky she is, Xena?" he asked and rose from the rocker, crossing over the hardwood floors to me. He was so close. "Sometimes I think she doesn't. I'd like to remind her what she could loose.." he said, dangerously close to me, his hand trailing down the side of my face.

I closed my eyes, wondering why Ares's touch should make a shiver run through me. "Don't, Ares." I pleaded. "Don't."

"You want it, I know you do." Ares said huskily, pulling me into his embrace. This felt so right, but at the same time I felt so guilty. I shook my head, trying to deny him, but it was impossible. "Please.."

But it was too late. He was kissing me, and I was returning the deep kisses. His hands pressed lightly into my sides, holding me to him.

By every god I can name…

I knew this was bad, this couldn't happen. I owed Gabrielle my life. She was my soul, my light. How could I do this to her? I saw her hurt face flash across my closed eyes. Gabrielle had given up so much for me--Hope, a chance to be a bard…her blood innocence… the list was endless and could go on and on forever.

"Xena.." Ares murmered my name, and licked my earlobe. "I want to make love to you.."

I knew I had to stop this. "No, Ares." I pleaded. "I can't." I felt weak, because I wanted him to. I wanted to feel him kiss me, feel his tongue on my body. I wanted him.

Gabrielle…oh Gabrielle…why did you leave me?

Ares had me pulled to him. "She won't ever have to know. I won't say anything, or be sarcastic." he promised. "Just let me. This one time, Xena. That's all."

"Ok.." I found myself whispering.

Wait. I couldn't do this. I was with Gabrielle, had just made love to her before we left to meet Ares. I couldn't do this…couldn't…

But yet I didn't stop him from leading me into his bedroom, from laying me on his bed. His hands were gentle and soft on my body, as they worked to remove the leathers. "It won't be like when I was a god." he warned me, his face nuzzled between my now barred breasts. Ares kissed my nipples, titillating them, making them hard.

"I know." I said, running my hands through his dark hair. "It's ok though."

I felt Ares's hands slid down the rest of my leather bodice, his hands on my stomach, pushing the bodice off. I kicked it off, and lay back on the bed. He let his hand trail down to my center, and a moment later I felt his fingers work inside of me. I closed my eyes, moving closer to Ares, kissing him, pulling at his lower lip.

Ares pushed me back onto the bed, lifting me so we were laying on the pillows now and then I felt his fingers come out. I growled once, and he kissed me teasingly, before slipping himself inside of me.

Despite the pleasure I was feeling from this, I also felt tremendous guilt for what would happen when Gabrielle found out. And she would. All she had to do was take one look at my face, my eyes and she would know I had betrayed her.

I didn't like how it made me feel. Ares was the one who was getting enjoyment out of this, I couldn't put away my guilt long enough to. I closed my eyes and clutched him, hearing his groan of pleasure as he depleted his seed within me.

Ares rained kisses down my face, my neck, and my breasts. He explored my body thoroughly, before laying down next to me, and turning so we spooned together. I could feel his relief, his happiness.

And in making Ares happy, I knew I had just betrayed Gabrielle.

How could I ever explain this one to her?

Way to go, Xena.