Dear whatever the hell this book has become,
"Allllllright, everyone! We're going to have a small intermission!"
"Great!" Robbie says far too happily for my liking. Seriously, I don't see how anyone could be in a good mood when that slap happy asshole keeps doinking us! I can't believe I even wanted on this game show. A car battery, really?!
As I'm going to grab whatever ice they have on set, I hear little foot steps behind me. Of course I recognize who's those are, I'm a very observant person after all…and intelligent.
"Cat go away," I say in a rather irked voice, back still not facing her.
"But Jade!" she gripes and stomps her size 6 shoes like a child throwing a 's the thing I can't stand about Cat: She acts like this innocent kid when I know she's not. She's proven to me that she's not. PROVEN.
I turn around, right, and grab her face with this expression that you think she'd take a hint of what I was saying and yell, "What do you want?"
She says, "I want to take care of you," in, yet again, this impeccable tone that's muffled from me squishing her voice with my hands.
"No," I whisper, hardly articulating at all.
"What?"
"NO," I shout and try to walk away from her.
"Why won't you let me take care of you?" she whimpers.
"I don't let anyone take care of me. I can take care of myself. I've tried telling you this. Don't you listen?" I lean against the wall and slide down to the ground, placing my hand on my head to give myself SOME kind of comfort. Not that I need it.
"You let me take care of you this weekend," she flutters her eyelashes and carries on with that damn pure act of hers.
Just as everyone else is walking into the room I stand up, "Cat, shut the hell up! I'm sick and tired of you pretending that you're this righteous character when you're just. like. us.," I stammer. "That's right, guys!" I gesture to everyone in the room, "She's not all sweet and holy! Cat has bipolar disorder. Haven't you ever noticed that before? Oh wait, of course you haven't. She's been covering it up for 2 years now, hoping you all would forget. And well, you did. So yay, snaps for precious Caterina Valentine," and then I smile.
But that's when I notice everyone's faces turning to frowns, and I look at Cat who's holding back the tears settling in her eyes.
I'm a total bitch.
"Sit down!" Cat demands.
"Wha-"
"I want you to sit down, and I want everyone else to leave!" She seems frustrated.
Cat runs off and got and ice pack and returns to kneel by my side.
"Cat, I-" I'm lost at words. Why is she doing this? I just exposed her to our friends.. She should hate me.
"Shh. Don't talk. I want to do the talking, alright?" I nod.
"I'm not going to bring up what just happened," We lock eyes and she looks away to continue nursing me, "because you are hurt, and I'm supposed to take care of you." A tear falls from her eyes and lands on my cheek.
I grab her wrist tenderly to stop her, "I'm sorry, Cat. I love you with all my heart, and you know that."
"No. Stop." I can hear the hurt hiding in her throat, yet she continues to take care of my head. I have to keep looking at her, though, to see what I've done. The girl who everyone treats like shit is finally broken, and I'm the one who caused it. Her lips are tightly pressed together, so she won't fall apart, and I caused that. I caused the red in her eyes because tears are rolling down her face.
"Everyone back to the stage!" A nasally voice comes over the intercom.
Cat breaks. Her mouth is finally parted in this ungodly frown. And even through all this pain, she leans down to cup my face and kisses me with her tear covered lips. I try to say something, anything, but nothing comes out of my mouth. She just gets up, wipes her face, and leaves, practically running off.
I'm writing all of this down because even if it was the wrong moment and the worst circumstances, that's when I finally realized I love Cat.
No matter what, she still loves me. She still loves this person blinded by hatred. She still loves this fuck up. I don't, and I won't ever, understand that.
I don't know how to fix this with her, but I really hope I can.
And this time I'll write 'love' instead of 'bye'.
Love,
Jade.
3 months earlier
Dear...journal?
"It's time for a new project, ya ninnies!"
"Sikowitz," I say dryly.
"Yes, you angry little girl?" It's more of a statement and not a question, mind you.
"I'm not a little girl!" I yell.
"What do-you-want?" He says this with perfect diction. He made sure to enunciate every consonant perfectly. It's kind of annoying, if you ask me.
"Why do you call us ninnies?" I ask, ringing my finger along the lid of my Hollywood Arts coffee mug.
"Isn't ninnies the plural form of dust bunny?" Cat says this while twirling her hair and looking around the room like a brainless child. It only takes a second for us to start staring at her.
"Uh, Cat? That would be dust bunnies," Tori says. And just like that, Cat bursts out in hysterical laughter. Not a small giggle, no, slapping her knee, stomach hurting laughing.
"Well... Could we get back to this assignment?" Sikowitz asks, looking a bit disturbed, same as the rest of us.
Everyone chimes in with a pleading, "Please."
"As you all know, Summer vacation is coming up..."
"Really?" I ask sarcastically.
He gives me a death stare before going on, "I'm going to pair you guys up into partners. I'm going to have you pull names out of this handy, dandy top hat!"
"Like the notebook!" Cat points and squeals.
"Yes, Cat, just like the handy, dandy notebook. Now! I want you, you, aaand you!" Sikowitz affirms, pointing to Robbie, André, and I. So I let out a huff and stomp my way to the front of the room.
"She'll huff and she'll puff and she'll knock us all down!" I honestly don't know why he thinks he's funny, laughing at his dumb jokes. "Okay, Robbie, you first!"
"Neat-o! This seems like oodles of fun!" He reaches in the hat and does a little 'yesss' pump of his first and arm. "I got the Torminator," he states with a wiggle of his eyebrow followed by a groan from Tori.
"An-dré!"
André rubs his hands together and licks his lips, reaching in the bag he affirms, "Beck!" Then they fist bump and high-five or some other boy shit.
"So that leaves Jade with..."
"ME!" Cat, of course, screams, jumps fifty feet in the air, and comes to give me the biggest hug I've ever experienced. Who would've guessed that little girl had so much strength?
"Additional details! You will all spend at least two days out of each week of the Summer with your selected partner-" I surely cut him off on this one with an annoyed noise. I can't spend that much time with Cat Valentine. It's the Summer before my senior year, come on! "Ah-bup-bup! I will fail you all if you don't do this. Not only will you be spending two days out of each week, you will also Skype five nights in the Summer. Not in a row, just at least five. On the first day of school, which is the last year for all of you, you will have written a speech all about your partner. The first part you will write after you have spent the first week with he or she. You will write how you feel about this person, if you like them or dislike them, what annoys you the most, and what you love the most. The middle will document what all you two did. You will discuss about how each time went, and what you did. You'll write it all in these diaries, er, journals per se. And for the ending, write about how this person changed or didn't change you. Your plans or no plans of the future with them, considering you probably only have a year left with them. I know you guys may say this assignment is dumb," and of course he looks at me, "but you'll understand once it's over."
So that's what this journal is. I thought my first entry should start with how this stupid assignment started.
And I guess I should go on about how the day ended because I have nothing else to say, and I'm in a writing mood now.
After class, Cat attacks me with questions. "Whenarewegonnahangout?Whatarewegonnado?Doyawannaseeamovie?What'syourSkypename?"
"CAT, you are talking a mile a minute, and it's not even the end of the day yet, why are you asking me all of this now?"
"So?"
"I do not want to think about this absurd project Sikowitz wants us to do. Emphasis on the siko! We have lunch and two more classes until Summer vacation. Give me that time. Please."
"Okaay, geeeez, grumpy pants!" she says, winking. "One last thing..," I signal for her to continue, "I'm really glad I got you for this. I think you're super awesome and cool and stuff. I don't see anyone other than my parents and brother over the break, so it's exciting to get to hang out with someone new!" She covers one side of her mouth likes she's telling a secret and comes closer by stepping on her tip-toes. "There's rumor that I turn into a hippopotamus in July, so you betta watch out!" She then proceeds to poke my belly playfully for a reason God only knows.
It's not that I hate Cat, 'cause I don't, but she gets on my last nerve. I really don't know when she started acting so weird and saying odd things like that. It's like she took LSD one day and never turned back. I'm not excited about spending practically my whole Summer vacation with Cat, but I guess I should try to enjoy it. It could be interesting to get inside her head.
Well, here it goes. Here goes my Summer with the cooky Cat Valentine.
Bye,
Jade.
P.S.: Did I just use the word cooky?
