Warning: Roy/Edness
A/N: lol my muses have been very good to me lately and I don't know why but I've got a couple more RoyEd stories lined up - this the first part of a two-part story but it's pretty much stand alone. It's Roy's point of view and I found it heartening that my hubby said she liked this because she thought that Roy seemed mysterious in "Though the Heart". Somehow I found it rather difficult to get Roy's inner thoughts to the real Roy level. You get to understand Ed in the anime but not really Roy :x even I thought he would turn his back on Ed when he caught up with them outside of Resembool (sorry Roy /3)
Anyway, I had a lot of fun writing this so I hope everyone who reads it enjoys it as well. Read and review please.
When the rain comes
By: Datenma
Rain. It's truly one of the most depressing things ever to have graced the face of the planet. It can spoil plans and ruin moods in a matter of seconds without much effort and as everyone loves to put it—I am completely useless in the rain. I hate that feeling. What I hate the most about it is being helpless when Fullmetal really needs me, even though he is too proud to admit that he may actually be of some use to him.
I sit down on the couch in the middle of the room with the lights switched off, leaning back and staring up at the shadowed ceiling, the only light coming in through the window from the streetlamps outside and the occasional flash of lightning that illuminates the room for a brief moment. I watch the ceiling fan rotate lazily, shadows growing and shrinking, dancing around the room frantically, staring up just to give my eyes something to hold onto. My mind isn't paying attention to the objects around me, as usual; it's completely absorbed in the little brat so adequately called the Fullmetal Alchemist.
It seems that ever since I first saw him lying helpless on that bed in Resembool, regardless of what I am doing, my thoughts always drift to him. I have my pride too and I would never admit to my thoughts about him out loud but to myself…but I'm sure even if I did, no one would believe me, least of all Fullmetal.
I sigh, stretching my hand out, making a reach for the fan. I close one eye and cup the edge of the fan with my hand before studying the back of my hand, staring at the veins running up from my wrist. I turn my hand around, looking at the calloused skin and sighing again. I wonder if Fullmetal's hands have become like mine…
With everything that Fullmetal tries to do by himself, I often forget that he's still just a kid. The first time I really realized what influence this kind of life would have on him was when we caught Barry the Butcher. The truth is, I wanted to go to him then and even if he would have willingly accepted what little comfort I could bring him, I think there would have been some who would question my motives.
Even though I try to stay a couple of steps ahead, I'm always so far behind Fullmetal. I want to help him, protect him from whatever he's up against but he always keeps me at arms length regardless of what I do. I know that wishing he would trust me is useless but no matter what I try, he just keeps pushing me away.
I press my hand to my forehead, pushing my bangs back and laughing resentfully. I sound like some lovesick teenage girl pining after some unrequited love. Fullmetal messes with my feelings too easily. Or maybe it's because I let him get under my skin so easily. Without even knowing it, I've become consumed by him.
The room is illuminated for a moment as another bolt of lightning flashes overhead, followed shortly after by the phone ringing next to me. I lower my hand slowly, shifting. It's probably just the Office. I'm on leave for a couple of days but if there was an emergency they would ask someone to call me to come back in and take care of things.
With a sigh, I lean across and lift the phone off its hook, holding it up to my ear, "This had better be good. I really don't feel like going out in the rain." There's a strange sound on the other end and I sigh, shaking my head, "What is it, Breda?"
"W-well, Colonel, you see, Edward is arriving at the station in half an hour and we thought that someone should meet him since it's storming but no one can get away from the Office right now. Hawkeye said that you should do it since you are off duty…"
I blink and straighten, suddenly interested in the phone call. "Fullmetal is coming back today?"
"He phoned from the station at Resembool a couple of hours ago looking for you." I feel my heart start to beat a little fast and I can't help but smile. Fullmetal asked for me specifically—maybe he trusts me a little, even if he doesn't want to say it or doesn't know it.
"I guess if no one else can do it, I might as well go so he doesn't get himself into the usual trouble."
I start to hang up but he laughs as I go to place the phone on the hook and I hesitate, "You really care about him, don't you, Colonel?" I sigh, annoyed at how he put it and drop the phone onto the hook. No one need know my feelings are towards Fullmetal, least of all Fullmetal himself.
I should be able to get to the station before Fullmetal's train arrives. I stand up slowly, straightening the wrinkles from my shirt. I changed out of my uniform when I got back from the Office but I laid my pocket watch on the coffee table in front of the couch before I sat down earlier. I slide the watch back into my pocket before walking to the front door, resting one hand against the wall and pulling my boots on one at a time. I slip my jacket on and lean down, retrieving the umbrella from its hiding place. It's been a while since it last rained this hard but if Fullmetal comes back today won't be so bad.
I sigh. There I go again, acting like a lovesick girl.
I shake the thoughts away quickly and pull the door open, holding the umbrella out first and sliding it open, lifting it up towards the sky and stepping under to, closing the door silently behind me.
The rain is coming down in droves now, a strong wind blowing from the west, already soaking my pants through before I can even walk a block. It's cold, wet, and gloomy. No one else would be caught out in this weather if they can help it and it's no surprise they would make me pick up Fullmetal from the station though I did volunteer myself. I am glad that I was asked to get him through; I wouldn't want him to run around in this weather by himself. With everything that he goes through, he needs a warm, safe place to come home to. It's the least that I can do for him.
I step into the station as the train pulls in slowly, my jacket and umbrella dripping rainwater, a small puddle slowly forming around my feet. The doors of the train open and only a couple of passengers step off, some complaining about the rain and hunting through their luggage for their umbrellas but I ignore them, glancing about, searching for Fullmetal.
Finally, I spot him as he steps off the train, his eyes shooting towards the exit and darkening when he sees the rain. He turns away, probably wondering if he can transmute an umbrella and then those golden eyes fall upon me and a million different thoughts flash across his vibrant eyes but he still walks over to me slowly and I have to smile as he shuffles his feet once he reaches me, one hand hidden away in his pocket, the other clutching his suitcase.
"What are you doing here, idiot Colonel…do I have a mission or something?" I laugh softly, reaching my hand out and placing it on his head, ruffling his hair gently.
"I heard that you were coming back today and I wanted to make sure that you didn't get caught out alone in the rain." I lift up the umbrella for a moment to show him and he sighs, turning so that I can only see his profile, muttering something under his breath but his cheeks color slightly with embarrassment and I smile softly.
He pushes my hand away, "We-well, hurry up and walk me to the dorms so I can get some sleep, I'm tired you know."
I blink, glancing around the few lingering passengers that had already gotten off the train, moving about the station, trying to prolong their imminent journey through the rain, "Where's your brother? And wasn't Armstrong accompanying the both of you to Resembool?" He rubs the back of his neck, staring out the large opening of the station, watching as some of the passengers pull their coats over their heads and ran out into the rain.
"Al wanted to stay there for a little longer and since the Major doesn't have anything to do, I asked him to stay behind with Al so that he could ride with him back to Central when he was ready." He sighs, holding his suitcase out towards me, and blushing as his brows furrowed slightly, "Since you came to pick me up, you get to carry my suitcase."
I laugh softly, taking it from him and smiling, "I consider it a great honor, Fullmetal." He blinks up at me in a mixture of surprise and disbelief, his cheeks still a vivid red. He sticks out his tongue, flipping up his hood and running towards the entrance, pausing before he can leave the shelter of the station roof. I smile softly, watching him for a moment as I slide the umbrella open, walking over to him and holding the umbrella up and close to me so he has to stand close to stay dry.
If he notices the action along with the ulterior motive, he doesn't say anything against it, merely blushing more and shuffling his feet, moving a little closer to me. Just as I start to step out, he stands on the tips of his boots, reaching up and grasping the umbrella's handle, taking it from me with ease and holding it down near his shoulder so I have to lean down to prevent my head from hitting the roof of the umbrella. I place my hand on his shoulder to keep from falling down as he leads the way down the street.
The rain seems to lessen around us but it's still coming down hard, at least it stopped thundering before his train pulled in at the station. "This is the first time you've been away from your brother, isn't it? You know, you could have stayed there for a while if you wanted. There aren't any leads on the Philosopher's Stone for you to chase down…"
He blushes, bowing his head slightly, "Well, I thought that since Alphonse wanted to stay in Resembool for a while and there weren't any leads on the Philosopher's Stone, it would be a good chance to…um…do some reading at the Central Library…"
I blink, smiling at him softly, "Is that so? Maybe I could go with you if I can get away from the Office while you're there. I can take leave since there's nothing serious going on and I could use a break."
He rolls his eyes but I see a slight smile tugging at the corners of his lips, "Lazy Colonel…" He starts towards the dorms but I turn him in the direction of my house, taking the umbrella from him once we arrive, "What's this place?" He blinks, looking around, trying to find out where we are from the nameplate under the doorbell. I unlock the door smiling softly and pulling him inside before he can read the name on the plate.
The entryway is pitch-black and the only thing that greets us is the sound of silence, our clothes and the umbrella dropping melodically onto the floor to break the quiet of the house. He glances around, still trying to figure out where we are as I shake the umbrella out, sliding it closed and setting it in the pot near the door. I slide my jacket off, hanging it on the coat rack and turn to him, holding my hand out for his jacket. He blinks at me for a moment before sighing, shrugging off his jacket and tossing it at me. I shake my head, turning and hanging his coat next to mine, unable to fight back a smile when I see how much shorter it is than mine. I know his height bothers him but I love to tease him about it…
I remove my boots, setting them in the corner to dry. He does the same with his; hopping out of the way of the puddle so that he doesn't get his feet wet and he stumbles slightly, spinning around on one foot and bending at the waist to keep from falling onto the floor. I smile at him gently, shaking my head and starting towards him as he straightens.
I think this is the first time I've ever been alone with him. There's always someone around us and if it isn't someone from the Office, Alphonse is always at his side. I've never had the chance to study him without worrying about how it would look to someone else. He's beautiful. I know it might be strange to think that about the Fullmetal Alchemist but it's the best word I can think of to describe him.
His eyes are the color of purest amber, wrapped by a gentle golden glow and though you wouldn't expect it, his hair is soft, a color far more brilliant than the sun ever could be.
In a way, Fullmetal has become my sun. Without even trying, he has become the light that guides me down the path that I have chosen, a path to correct the wrongs that I have committed in the name of the military. Maybe I can never be forgiven for the lives that I've taken but I'm not doing this out of forgiveness. I'm doing this to make things right so the military won't be forced to take more lives.
I'm doing it so Fullmetal doesn't have to stay in the military and end up doing something that his heart just won't be able to recover from. So that he doesn't have to grow up faster than he needs or wants to. I want him to be able to live the life of a normal kid his age. I want to be the one he comes to when he's frightened. I want him to need me more than anyone else in this world.
He blinks at me, balling his hands into fists and placing them on his hips, puffing his cheeks slightly as he tilts his head back to look at me. I smile and laugh a little. His height makes him completely endearing when he tries to act tough. He stomps his foot suddenly, "Hey! You just thought something really annoying, didn't you! I don't like that look."
I laugh softly, reaching out and resting my hand on his shoulder, turning him around and pushing him towards the living room, "H-hey, you didn't answer my question and where are we? This doesn't look like the military dorms."
"That's because this isn't the military dormitory." I flick on the lights as we enter the living room and he blinks, stepping away from me slowly and starting to look around. He doesn't seem as bothered about this information as I thought he would have been, maybe it's because he doesn't realize this is my house yet. That won't last for long though, he's smart enough to put two and two together.
He finds a picture taken on the day I joined the military resting on the bookshelf pushed up against the wall on the far side of the room, staring at it for a long moment before he glances back at me, "This is your house…" He turns around and folds his arms across his chest, "Why did you bring me here, Colonel? You could have just brought me to the dorms; they're closer to the station."
I shake my head, staring into those amber eyes for a breathless moment before looking away. His eyes can burn brighter than the hottest flame; stare too long and that golden gaze can drive you insane. They smolder and flicker with a brilliant range of emotions and even though those eyes can drive a person crazy, I find myself craving more and more. I want him to look only at me—I want him to see only me.
"I wanted you to come back to something a little cozier and more welcoming than the military dorms. The weather wasn't exactly the best for coming back to so I thought that having a more comfortable place to come back to would have to make up for the rain."
He blinks, looking up at me and I wonder if I've said something wrong, playing the words over in my head quickly, unable to find something in there that could have possibly offended the short-tempered little alchemist—even though he would have made an attempt on my life if he heard me call him a 'short-tempered little' alchemist.
He shuffles his feet, looking down at the floor, "…Colonel…? You want me to come back to your place more often?" I blink and step towards him carefully, not wanting to scare him away before we've really had a chance to talk. He doesn't move from the spot even as I stand in front of him. He slowly lifts his head again, staring up at me uncertainly, his eyes wavering and I feel my heart skip a beat.
"Yes…you can come to my house whenever you're in Central. It's better than having to check in at the dorms whenever you come here, trying to get settled and just having to leave as soon as you get another mission." He blinks up at me slightly, turning his head away and biting down on his bottom lip.
"What's with you, Colonel…" I blink, leaning my head down, trying to make him meet my eye again. He blinks again, turning to look me in the eye, opening his mouth in a small, surprised o.
"What do you mean by that, Fullmetal?" He furrows his brows, glancing away quickly and folding his arms across his chest again.
"You're not normally so…accommodating towards your subordinates, are you?" He glares at me slightly, "Though I'm sure you have invited some of the female officers back here." I blink at the sudden sharpness in his voice, a mixture of anger and a hint of…jealousy? But who towards, me or the female officers he thinks I've asked back to my house.
I sigh, leaning back and pressing my hand to my eyes, shaking my head, "Look, Fullmetal, I know what you think of me…"
"Don't try to pick me apart and piece me back together, Colonel. Just because I'm under your command, doesn't mean that you know everything there is to know about me." He makes to move past me, catching his hand on my elbow and trying to push me away, muttering under his breath, "I don't even know why I like you…"
I blink, grasping his wrist and pulling him back before he can get too far. "What did you say?" He tugs his wrist out of my hand, shoving me back.
"You heard what I said…" He starts towards the door but I move to block his way, catching his arms. He struggles against me half-heartedly. If he really wanted to, he could get away with a simple movement; we both know that. "Let go of me, Colonel." He mutters, turning his gaze to the floor, squaring his shoulders.
"If you really want me to let you go, you're going to have to make me." We watch each other for a hesitant moment before he relaxes, almost going limp in my arms as he presses his forehead to my chest. I sigh, slipping one arm around his back, reaching my other arm up slowly and resting it on the top of his head, sliding my hand down and undoing the binding on his braid, dropping it onto the floor and running my fingers through his hair gently, combing out the braid.
The Fullmetal I know would shove me away before I could even think about slipping my fingers under the band keeping his hair tied back. He would yell at me, maybe even beat me to a bloody pulp and run off only to show up at the Office a couple of hours later, acting as if nothing happened. It's a strange rhythm but it's ours and normally I wouldn't have it any other way but now isn't the time for running away and pretending like this isn't important.
In an action that surprises me more than I thought it would have, he leans towards me more, reaching up with his left hand slightly and grasping at the edge of my shirt between his thumb and index finger, tugging on my shirt gently.
I bow my head slightly, closing my eyes and sighing, holding him close. I didn't think that his body would be this small or this warm. I smile softly; I shouldn't be so surprised though, he's always so full of energy. Everything he does is purely his own and…I can't seem to get enough of him and I find myself wanting more and more of him, whatever I can manage to get my hands on, even then it's not enough.
I want him to be mine. I want his eyes to burn for me. I want his arms to reach out for me. I want his voice to call out my name.
"Say it again, Fullmetal…" He tenses slightly, his cheeks puffing a bit only to let out a rush of air through his pursed lips. I smile slightly, shaking my head and closing his eyes for a moment before opening them again, glancing down at the top of his head, running my fingers through his hair slowly. It's almost surreal, being able to touch Fullmetal like this without him throwing a fit. He's had to grow up so fast ever since his mother died, I'm surprised he's been able to hold onto some of his childhood.
For a moment, I wonder if he'll actually say it or just remain silent but then, he whispers softly, almost too soft for me to hear but it reaches me all the same: "I'll say it, if you say my name."
I frown slightly, staring down at the top of his head, "Edward?"
He turns his head, looking up at me quickly, a slight glare brightening his eyes to a vivid flame flickering in the lamplight. It is strange how no matter what he does, I still find him immeasurably beautiful.
"I like you, okay. I can't explain it and I've tried not to but whenever I'm away from you, I just keep thinking about you and wondering when I'll get a chance to come back to Central to see you again. Then when I think I can't miss you any more than I already do…it comes time for me to leave and I just hate seeing you off. That's why I rush out as fast as I can…"
His words tumble out in a quick pile to be picked apart and analyzed but I would never treat any word that comes out of his mouth like paperwork left upon my desk, especially when they come to form such an innocent confession as this.
"W-well, go ahead, make fun of me. Tell me I'm just a kid and I don't know what I'm talking about. Kick me out and send me to the dorms."
I sigh, shaking my head and resting my hand on the back of his head, combing my hands through his fingers gently. The strangest, most amazing things can happen when two people are alone together. Feelings you never thought possible can blossom from the simplest of words and just a light touch can bring the greatest of joys.
"You're far too impulsive, Fullmetal. You haven't even heard what I have to say about this and you're already throwing yourself out in the rain." He puffs his cheeks, pushing me back and stomping his foot on the floor.
I smile softly as he starts to open his mouth in protest and lean down, silencing all arguments by pressing my lips to his. His eyes widen and he tries to push me away again but he begins to relax and I slip my arms around his waist.
I pull back slowly, pressing my forehead to his as he blinks his eyes open in a slight daze. "Um…wha…?"
I shake my head, smiling at him slightly, furrowing my brow, "You always seem to be able to say whatever is on your mind just because you want to…you've even confessed before I could…" His cheeks redden and I smile more, sighing, "I like you…but until you're a little older, that's all I'm going to say. I don't need Riza coming after me; trying to shoot me down and yelling 'Don't you dare corrupt Edward with your perversion!'."
He sticks out his tongue, his cheeks still colored with a pale red, "Idiot Colonel…" He turns so that I can only see his profile and to my surprise, his lips forms one of the most stunning smiles that I've ever seen. A smile so entirely astonishing that it makes my heart beat faster.
He folds his arms across his chest, glancing up at me and puffing his cheeks slightly, "I told you that I'm tired...I didn't sleep on the train coming here." I smile softly, taking his hand and leading him to the bedroom.
He slips away as I flick on the light to illuminate the room just long enough to see the way before switching them off again. He moves towards the bed at first before shifting, going to the window and pushing the curtains aside, staring out as the rain washes down the window like a waterfall.
He touches a hand to the windowpane before pulling back, slipping off his glove and touching the window again, sliding his finger across a couple of times before pulling back again, this time revealing a strange face there that's purely the creation of Fullmetal. I hide a laugh behind my hand but he still turns around, puffing his cheeks and resting his fists on his hips. He frowns at me slightly before turning to the bed, "Where are you going to sleep?" I point to the bed and he blinks.
"Um…and where am I going to sleep?" I smile and point to the bed again and watch as his face goes from a blank stare, to confusion, to annoyance and then to anger in a matter of seconds. He stomps and waves his arms about in a blur, "What do you mean! We can't sleep together! You just said…!"
I laugh softly, shaking my head and walking over to him. He shrinks away slightly until his back touches the wall. He places the palms of his hands against it, glancing back before looking up at me nervously. I sigh, resting my hand on the wall near his head and leaning down, "You should know me better than that, Fullmetal, do you think I would really force myself on you?"
"I don't know…things are different now…" He shakes his head, "When I got off the train, I didn't expect you to be there waiting at the station…I never even thought for a moment that you would like me…like me enough not to…throw me away if I told you my feelings…" He bows his head, his shoulders shaking slightly.
"Fullmetal…Edward, I would never throw you away, for whatever reason you think." I sigh, reaching out and grasping his chin gently, tilting his head back so that our eyes meet, "You may think that I don't give much thought when it comes to what I do but if you do think that, you're really not giving me enough credit. I hate having to send you out there…I always worry if you'll even come back to me in one piece. I'd never be able to forgive myself if something were to happen to you…"
"Colonel…"
I shake my head, smiling softly. "I promise I won't do anything and anyway, we both need our rest and the bed is a lot more comfortable than the couch."
He grumbles before pushing me back gently, walking over and sitting on the edge of the bed, taking his watch out of his pocket and setting it on the nightstand. I watch him for a moment before smiling softly, coming around to the other side of the bed, starting to unbutton my shirt. I pause when I feel his eyes on me and I turn around, blinking at him. He blushes and looks away quickly, whistling to feign innocence.
I smile, "You don't sleep in pajamas?" He blinks, glancing up at me as I sit down on the opposite side of the bed, my shirt hanging open slightly.
He looks away quickly, his cheeks coloring, "I didn't even sleep in pajamas when I was a kid and now…I just sleep in normal clothes in case I have to run out in the middle of the night."
I smile bitterly, turning away and staring down at the sheets. I was like that when I first entered the military…and during the massacre in Ishbal.
I shake those thoughts away from my mind. Now isn't the time to think about that. To amend the past, one can only move in the direction left open to them—forward. If you forget that…you're better off dead.
I shift, lying back on the pillow with my arms folded under my head. "Come with me to the market tomorrow, I have some errands to run."
He sits up quickly, puffing his cheeks and assaulting me with the pillow he was about to lay on, "I'm not your slave!"
"Calm down, Fullmetal, I didn't say I wanted you to do my shopping for me." I smile at him, "Consider it…a fieldtrip."
He blinks, frowning at me slightly, "To the market?"
I smile softly, waving my hand, "It won't be that terrible, I promise." He sighs, dropping the pillow back onto the bed and fluffing it before resting down on it, his golden hair sprawling out around his head.
"W-well, good night…" I turn my head slightly, watching him and he blushes, closing his eyes and pretending to sleep for a few minutes before he finally drifts off. I smile softly, reaching out slowly and brushing his bangs away from his face. He leans into the touch slightly and I smile again, pulling my hand back and sitting up slowly in one fluid motion. I gather up the covers and slide them under him carefully without disturbing him, drawing them up to his chin so he doesn't catch a cold.
I lay back again, watching him sleep soundly. He may joke around a lot and act like things don't bother him but he shoulders a great deal of weight alone and there's only so much I can do to help him before he tries to push everyone away to protect them.
Edward Elric, the Fullmetal Alchemist. Just what brought me to you, really? Now I can't even begin imagine what life would be like if I hadn't found him. I don't want to think about where I would be without him.
I sigh softly, resting my head on my arm, turning to face him before I shift slightly, allowing my eyes to close slowly as I feel the lazy haze of sleep grasp at me gently.
Hours later, the quiet sunlight of dawn peeks in through the lace curtains of the wall behind Edward and I shift, bringing my arm across my eyes to block out the light. Slowly, I begin to drift off into a light sleep but I feel something warm near me. I lower my arm, blinking around the room before glancing down and spotting Fullmetal there.
He must have moved closer to me sometime during the night. He's kicked the pillow he had been resting upon off the bed, taking up half my pillow. His right leg is slung over my left, his arms curled up near his chest gently as he continues to snooze; his mouth is hanging open slightly, a soft snore coming out from time to time.
His nose starts to twitch and I smile softly, lifting myself onto my elbow and poking it gently with my index finger. He sneezes suddenly, sniffling and snuggling my pillow innocently. I groan, shaking my head, "Very attractive, Fullmetal." I pinch his cheek lightly, "Time to wake up, Edward."
He curls up before rolling over onto his stomach, his right arm flying out and catching me on the shoulder, "Gimme a couple more minutes…"
I sigh, holding onto his wrist gently for a moment and sliding my hand down the cool metal of his automail before pausing at his forearm, grasping it lightly and rolling him over onto his back. I lean down, grinning and whispering softly into his ear, "Edward."
He lets out a soft sigh, blinking up at me and rubbing the back of his hand over his eyes, blinking again. Suddenly, his entire face turns red and he shoves his hand in my face, pushing me away roughly.
"H-hey, what's wrong?" I grasp his wrist to keep him from shoving me away more and he lowers his hand slowly, still blushing.
"Y-you just surprised me, I'm not used to sleeping so close to someone…and you were warm…I wasn't really expecting it…"
I sigh, ruffling his hair, "Why don't you unpack your things and you can take a shower while I make breakfast. The bathroom is just down the hall."
He blinks, grinning brightly and putting his hands on the bed in front of him, leaning forward slightly, "So you cook?"
I roll my eyes, "Of course I do, I live alone, you know." He smiles, hopping off the bed and stretching.
"I just never expected you to be the type that did that sort of thing." He shrugs his shoulders, still smiling, strands of his hair standing out of place.
I sigh, smiling softly and shake my head, "There's a lot that you have to learn about me, Fullmetal."
He blushes, scratching his cheek shyly, "I look forward to it…Roy." He runs out of the room before I can say anything.
I slide my legs off the edge of the bed, taking a breath before placing my feet on the cold floor, bracing myself as a chill runs through my body. I sigh, standing up and walking over to the dresser, pulling out some clothes and tossing them onto the foot of the bed before heading into the kitchen.
He walks into the kitchen twenty minutes or so later, dressed only in his usual black pants, one of my towels lying on his shoulders, still drying his hair as he walks up to me, leaning against me slightly to peer over my arm and catch a glimpse at what I'm cooking. I smile softly, standing back for him to see it clearly.
He smiles softly, turning around and leaning back against the counter, "I remember growing up in Resembool…I would stand on a stool next to my mother and watch her cook." He sighs, tilting his head back and looking up at the ceiling, reaching his hand up towards it, "Everything seemed within grasp back then…just as long as she was around to help us when we stumbled…" His voice cracks with emotions and he bows his head quickly, still forcing a smile even as a tear rolls down his cheek. He rubs his eyes along his arm and tries to laugh, keeping his head lowered as his shoulders shake lightly.
I sigh, staring at the stove for a moment before pulling at him gently so that he's facing me. I pick the towel up off his shoulders and start to dry his hair. He holds onto my arms gently and I can picture his face, burning with embarrassment. He's become so used to doing things on his own; he's probably forgotten what it's like to accept help from the people around him who care about him.
I clear my throat slightly, turning away from him and flipping over the pancakes, "If you ever stumble, Fullmetal, I'll always be there to catch you." I start to dry his hair again before lowering the towel back onto his shoulders and leaning around him, picking up a brush I had left there one day, turning him around and starting to run it through his hair.
He glances back at me, blushing, "Roy…?" He blinks at me and I smile softly, shaking my head.
"Remember, Fullmetal, no matter what happens, you can always come back here and you can always come to me. You're a very important part of my life and I can't imagine living it without you." He blushes, turning away quickly and bowing his head. I smile, braiding his hair and finding a ribbon to tie it with, making sure the little bow was facing outward.
He turns around shyly, running his hand back through his bangs, "You didn't have to braid my hair, you know…"
"Maybe, but I wanted to." I turn the stove off, putting the heart-shaped pancakes on a plate and setting it down on the table with a glass of milk, smiling at him. "Eat up. I'll take a shower and get dressed so we can go." I pull off my apron, tossing it onto the counter as he steps towards the table.
"I-idiot Colonel…" He mumbles under his breath as I walk out. I smile, laughing softly and shaking my head as I head down the hall.
The grandfather clock in the living room chimes twelve times before we finally leave the house. Edward hops down the steps, holding his arms out at his sides to keep from slipping in the puddles gathered along the steps from last night's rain. I tilt my head back, lifting my hand up to shield my eyes from the brilliant sunlight. The clouds from the previous day have disappeared, only a few lingering puffy billows dotting the sky.
Edward stops when he reaches the bottom of the stairs, stretching his arms towards the sky and letting out a soft whooping cheer. I smile gently, slipping my hands into my pockets and walking up behind him, "It's such a great day! Not a single raincloud in sight." He glances back at me, smiling brightly, blinking as I pull my right hand out of my pocket, leaning forward and grasping his left hand gently. He blushes, bowing his head shyly. I smile, giving his hand a light squeeze before starting down towards the market.
People all over Central are gathered at the market today, some stepping out of stores carrying a number of bags, some just window shopping. Edward glances around, his eyes taking in everything around us and I smile softly. He doesn't come to Central often so this probably is the first chance he's really gotten to look around the market and at all the stores.
After he takes in most of the stores, he finally clutches at my hand, dragging me in and out of toys stores and automail shops along the sidewalk, pointing out everything that he found interesting or things that Alphonse or his friend Winry would like.
He was about to pass a clothing store when I stop, tugging on his hand gently, smiling and pointing to the shop, "Let's go in here really quick, I need to buy something." He blinks, following me in obediently, glancing around at the many clothes lining the walls and the few set out on tables in the middle of the store.
I smile softly, moving away from him and heading back towards the end of the store, picking up some things off an upper shelf. He leans back, tilting his head slightly, "Why did you need to come here, Colonel?"
I smile back at him, making sure the sizes are right and walk over to the woman standing at the counter, laying them down between us. "Could you wrap these up please?" I flash a charming smile and she blushes, nodding quickly and taking them off to the back. I sigh, running a hand back through my hair and turning around, smiling at Fullmetal softly, "That's all I needed to pick up. We can go home after this or look around some more if you'd like."
He blinks, glancing down at the floor, "Home…"
Shit. I said something stupid.
I walk over to him before he has the chance to act, grasping his wrist quickly and pulling him towards me, catching him on the back of the head with my left hand, pulling his head against my chest gently, lacing my fingers through his hair. He stiffens slightly, most likely surprised that I crossed the store so quickly but he relaxes in my arms, reaching up hesitantly with his right hand, clutching at the back of my shirt and tugging slightly.
Fullmetal started his journey by burning his home down. I'm sure it was difficult for him, but necessary all the same. Without a reason to go back, he can push forward without hesitation. When you search for the Philosopher's Stone, you can't have anything holding you back.
"Edward…if you're every weary…or confused or just longing for a place to come back to, my door is always open…" He presses his face against my chest, shaking his head slightly.
"I know, Colonel…I know…" I sigh softly, closing my eyes and bowing my head slightly, just holding onto him. Like this, I can foolishly pretend that he belongs to me and no one else. Like this, I can think that he needs me as much as I need him. I sort of wish, it can always stay this way.
The woman working at the counter clears her throat lightly, "Colonel Mustang? It's ready…" Edward tightens his grip on me before pushing away, smiling up at me softly. I watch him for a moment before turning away slowly, walking back over to the counter. She smiles brightly, "It's adorable that you want to get this for yourself and your boyfriend."
I feel my cheeks grow hot and I laugh softly, lowering my voice, "I just hope he likes it." I pay for the package, slipping it under my arm and wave at her, walking back over to Edward and taking his hand, leading him out of the store. He tries to catch a glimpse of the parcel, blinking when he can't seem to figure it out.
He tugs on my hand lightly, "What did you get?"
I laugh softly, shaking my head, "You're going to have to wait until we get back to find out." He pouts, but clutches at my hand lightly, pointing out shops he'd like to check out when we come back again.
It seems we both needed a break from the stress that we've fallen into so completely. Seeing him relax like this…I want to keep him this happy through it all but do I have the power to do that? Am I strong enough to protect him…not just from the physical but the emotional pains as well…?
I take a deep breath, closing my eyes for a moment and sighing, letting him lead the way through the crowd. I guess there's no getting around it now. I've really fallen in love with him.
I blink, glancing around and wondering just when we arrived back at my house. He smiles back at me, waiting for me to unlock the door. I smile softly, releasing his hand and rummaging through my pockets until I find a spare key, pushing it into his hand, "Whenever you come back to Central and I'm busy at the Office, you can just come here and wait for me."
He stares down at the key for a moment before blushing, glancing up at me, "But if you're not here, it'll be lonely…" He pauses, tilting his head and looking back down at the key before smiling, "All right…then when you come back, I can welcome you."
I feel my heart skip a beat as I watch him, smiling softly and leaning down, kissing his forehead, "I'd like that a lot…"
He smiles, testing the key in the lock before slipping it into his pocket and grasping the doorknob, holding his breath and turning it slowly, pushing the door open. He steps in hesitantly and I start to follow him but he suddenly turns around, holding his hands behind his back and blushing lightly, smiling up at me, "W-welcome home, Roy…"
I blink, sighing softly and stepping into the house, leaning over him, "I'm home…" He tilts his head back shyly, closing his eyes. I blush, laughing softly and resting a hand on his shoulder, brushing my lips across his.
He pulls back, putting his hands on his hips, "All right, we're home, what did you get at the shop?"
I blink again, laughing, "You have a one track mind, Fullmetal." I lead him into the living room and sit down on the couch, setting the parcel on my lap. He bounds in, dropping onto the couch next to me, waiting impatiently, shifting this way and that as I run my fingers under the tape, and unwrap the parcel carefully.
I smile, watching his face as I lift the clothing away from the paper, setting a pair of pajamas in his size on his lap, resting mine back on the paper. He blinks, lifting the shirt off his lap and tilting his head, turning to look at me, "Pajamas?"
I scratch my cheek slightly, glancing down at the pair laying on my lap still folded neatly, "Well, I thought that, when you stayed here, you would be safe enough that you wouldn't have to run out in the middle of the night and I needed to get a new pair so…" I smile at him softly, "They're the kind that couples wear…matching pajamas…"
He blushes, glancing up at me shyly before smiling, "Roy…you're so weird…" He leans towards me slightly, tilting his head back and kissing my cheek, "Thanks…"
He takes both pajamas up along with the wrapping paper and sets them on the table in front of us, shifting and stretching out next to me, propping his heels on the table and leaning back.
I shift, slipping my glove onto my left hand, snapping my fingers and igniting a flame in the fireplace, a roaring fire dancing there just minutes after. He smiles brightly, leaning against me and resting his head on my shoulder.
He hops up after a while, poking around the bookshelves, pulling a couple of books he found interesting off the shelf and hopping over the back of the couch, landing next to me again. I watch him, smiling as he sets some on the table, resting one in his lap and opening it, already reading through it quickly.
I fold my hands under my head, starting to drift off into a warm, comfortable sleep, sliding down, my head resting on his shoulder.
I hear the phone ringing but ignore it, shifting and throwing my arm over my eyes. Someone taps on my shoulder and Edward whispers to me softly, "Roy. Hey, Colonel, wake up."
I blink, rolling onto my back, "Hmm…?"
"It's Havoc." He holds the phone up, waving it slightly.
I sigh, taking the phone from him and grasping his wrist before he can get away, pulling him to sit on the couch near me. I lift to phone up to my ear, "This better be good, Havoc, I'm off duty."
"Well, actually, it's a lead for Fullmetal." I frown slightly, sitting up.
"What is it?"
"There's a town near the coast where a few of the villagers have fallen victim to a strange illness. That isn't the reason we're calling for Fullmetal to go there to check things out. They say that someone is going around curing the illness and whenever they do, there's a brilliant flash of blood red light."
I sigh, pinching the bridge of my nose, "I'll tell him…oh, and Havoc, make sure that this information doesn't leave our department." I hang up before he can question it and I watch Edward for a moment, resting my arm across the back of the couch.
He turns to me, tilting his head slightly, "What's wrong? Do I have a mission or something?"
"Sort of…Havoc said there's someone in a coastal town that has been curing a strange illness with the use of a blood red light…it could be the Philosopher's Stone…" I can practically see the gears turning in his mind as he glances away slowly, staring at the flame, the light reflecting in his golden eyes.
He smiles bitterly, turning to me, "I guess I have to go…I can go to Resembool and pick up Alphonse and head over after that…"
I shake my head, "I have a better idea, Fullmetal. Your brother probably needs more time there and I doubt that the person healing is going to leave the town anytime soon…"
"But…"
"I'll go with you." He blinks up at me in surprise. "I'll have someone cover for me while I'm gone. They don't really need me for anything except deskwork and I would feel more useful out of the Office."
He puffs his cheeks, "Using me to skip out of paperwork, Riza is gonna kill the both of us when she finds out."
I smile, pressing my hand to my heart, "Oh but it would be a beautiful death if I were to die with you, Fullmetal." He rolls his eyes, shaking his head and smiling.
"Idiot Colonel…"
I smile more, "I'll take that as a yes." I stand, ruffling his hair, "I'm going to head down to the Office and make sure everyone knows what to do while I'm gone."
"What if you get an assignment while we're out…?"
"Give me a little more credit, Fullmetal, I'm not a fool. I have a plan for everything." I smile softly, "Don't open the door for anyone." He throws one of the pillows at the back of my head as I head towards the hall.
"I may be a kid but I'm not stupid!" I smile playfully, blowing him a kiss as I disappear into the hall, pulling on my boots and shrugging on my jacket. I hear him groan in the living room and laugh softly, slipping out and locking the door behind me.
By the time I finish up the planning at the Office and walk home again, the sun has gone down and the streetlamps lining the sidewalk light the town. The lights are off in the house. Edward probably got tired of waiting and went to sleep, though I should be a little disheartened, the idea that he's inside at all is the best thing I could possibly ask to come home to. Far better than the usual empty house.
I unlock the door, slipping inside and closing it behind me again, spinning the lock into place and slide off my boots, hanging my jacket on the rack, running my hand down the back of Edward's jacket, tracing the symbol there and smiling softly, shaking my head.
I tiptoe down the hall, checking the living room to make sure that he hasn't fallen asleep on the couch, reading. I move towards the bedroom next, pausing at the edge of the bed as the light from the streetlamps filter in through the bedroom curtains.
Fullmetal is lying there, stretched out along the sheets, one hand tucked under his shirt and resting on his stomach. I blink, moving closer, smiling softly. He's wearing the pajamas I bought earlier and they fit him perfectly. I start to turn away; unbuttoning my shirt my eyes catch on something.
Laid out on my side of the bed are my own pajamas along with a little note written out in Edward's neat handwriting. Welcome home, Roy.
I smile softly, "Edward…" I change into the pajamas, sighing softly and climbing into bed, pulling him close, pushing his bangs away from his face gently and pressing my lips to his temple. He stirs slightly, turning his head towards me and sighing lightly in his sleep.
When I'm Fuhrer…I'll make sure that Fullmetal stays close to me no matter what happens. He's just another reason for me to push through the ranks and straight to the top. I want it more than ever now. I need it more than ever now.
After making the necessary preparations, we arrive at the station early the next morning for the first train out of Central. Edward steps onto the train first, looking for an empty bench near the front. He smiles brightly, sitting down on the middle of the bench, tucking his luggage under the seat. I walk over, sitting down near the window and glancing out. He leans forward slightly, looking up at the cloudy sky and frowning slightly before he looks at me.
"It looks like it's going to rain, are you sure it'll be all right to leave right now? You know you're useless in the rain."
I groan, shaking my head and smiling at him softly, glancing out the window, "It'll be all right."
Even if the rain were to pour down around us and never ever stop, my sun will always shine brightly through it all, to guide the way. Edward, you are and always will be my sun.
-bis zum Ende-
