We begin again with a new story. It's a part of my series and I hope you all like it. I've got nothing much to say now at 4AM in the morning so I guess you guys should just enjoy! :D

Elliot looked up from the paper work in front of him and watched as Olivia gracefully entered the squad room. Her cheeks, still pink from the biting winter air, and snowflakes were still caught in her hair, yet to melt. He continued to stare at her as she placed her things in her locker, and zeroed in on the beautiful features of her body. He loved the way her auburn hair fell just past her shoulders. The way her clothes clung to every curve of her body just right. From the black hoodie that covered her blue undershirt, to the black slacks and belt that she wore. Not tight, but form fitting. Most of all he loved her eyes and her smile. Today she seemed a bit happier than she had been, and he was glad for that. He watched as she came to stand at her desk and flip through her messages. She caught his gaze and gave him a wan smile, and it made his heart leap. He was confused when she threw down the small stack of papers and rushed out of the squad room. A part of him wanted to follow her, but the other part knew she needed her space.

After she had returned to SVU, they had worked to fix their partnership and in the process they had fallen madly in love. It wasn't easy at first; both were afraid of what they were feeling for each other and afraid of what might come of it. She, afraid of being loved, and him afraid of having his heart broken again, but their love had pushed through and flourished in the process and they had managed to make their relationship work for six months, and those months had been the best months of his life. Unfortunately, everything had come to a crashing halt a few months back. He had ruined everything they'd had and the guilt ached inside of him every day for being the one to cause her pain.

What hurt most of all was seeing her everyday and not being able to kiss her and tell her that he loved her or make love to her. It was still hard for him to see her and not be with her, but it seemed to get harder and easier at the same time. What made it easier was seeing her move on. What made it harder was seeing her move on without him, but he was glad to see her happy again. He remembered how hurt she was after they had first broken up, and it hurt him to see her hurting. It broke his heart every time he saw tears in her eyes and knowing that he was to blame. It was weeks before she could look at him without bursting into tears, but he had to give her credit for being able to remain professional throughout the whole thing so that their jobs didn't suffer. He was still her partner and he thanked God for that everyday. She never let their issues affect their job and he respected her for that. Besides that he would be heartbroken if she left. She was his drug and he was addicted to her, he couldn't imagine his life without her in it, just as much as he couldn't see his life without his kids in it. Being with her made him realize just how much she meant to him and how much he really did love her. He loved her as a friend at first, a partner, someone he cared about, but now he loved her more than life itself and not being with her was killing him. He watched as she entered back into the squad room, paler than she had been before and he immediately began to worry about her.

"Morning," he said.

"Morning," she replied softly as she took her seat in front of him

She gave him another small smile and even that made him feel all warm and fuzzy inside. He was glad to see her smile at him again, it had felt like forever since the last time she had really truly smiled at him, but he took what he could get. She was finally comfortable enough around him and they had started to fix their friendship, of course she couldn't 

confide in him the way she used to, but they were getting there. They were even beginning to joke around with each other the way they used to. He stood and took his cup and hers.

"No-" she said as she stood up quickly to stop him. She felt the room spin around her and held his arm to help her keep her balance.

"Liv?"

She waited a few moments for the room to stop spinning and turn on to its upright form.

"Liv, are you ok?"

"Yea… yea, I'm fine," She said trying to convince herself as much as she was trying to convince him. "Just stood up too quickly."

"You sure that's all?"

"Yes Elliot. I'm fine."

He looked her over to see if she was in fact ok. Her skin was slightly pale and bags hung underneath her eyes. He knew she wasn't ok, but he wasn't going to force her to tell him. At least, not yet. "Ok. So what's the rush? You don't want me to get you coffee any more?"

"No that's not it. I just don't want any coffee today."

"Ok? But you didn't have to rush like that."

"Yea I know."

"Well can I get you anything else?"

"No thanks. I'm fine."

He eyed her suspiciously. "Liv, you sure you're ok? I noticed you haven't been taking care of yourself lately. You don't eat as much; you look tired all the time. You nearly fainted just a second ago, and now you're refusing coffee? Liv, this isn't you. Tell me what's going on. Am I the reason for this?"

"If you only knew," she mumbled avoiding his curious eyes.

"What?"

"Nothing. Look, my life doesn't revolve around you, you know."

"I know that… It's…It's just-" he sighed. "Look Liv, if something's wrong with you, seriously wrong with you, you would tell me right? You wouldn't try to hide it from me?"

"No, Elliot. I would let you know if something was seriously wrong with me." She stared at him with all seriousness in her eyes and yet both knew that she had just lied. "But nothing's wrong with me. I'm perfectly healthy."

"Ok."



"Perfectly healthy considering," she mumbled.

"What?"

"Nothing. Let's just get to work."

"Well, you sure I can't get you anything? A soda maybe? Or something? Anything? I can go out if you like."

She smiled at how sweet he was being and at how far he was willing to go to make up for what he'd done to her, but unfortunately no amount of coffee or paid lunches would make up for the heart ache he'd caused her. "No, Elliot. I'm fine."

She smiled at him and her smile seemed genuine which reassured him. "Ok." He wasn't offended by her attitude. He was used to it by now. In fact, he preferred her being cold to him rather than not talking to him at all. Her silence was worst of all. To him, her anger towards him made him feel like she still cared. As weird as it sounded, but the truth was he was just willing to take whatever he could get from her. He watched as she gingerly lowered herself into her chair and began to look over the file that sat in front of her.

As soon as she had gotten comfortable Cragen made an appearance in the doorway to his office. "Olivia, can I speak to you for a moment?"

She looked at him confused, but stood and walked over to his office and Cragen followed in behind her. "You wanted to speak to me?"

"Yes, have a seat."

"No, thank you, I'm fine right here."

"Ok then. You need to tell him."

"Tell who what?"

"Don't play stupid with me Olivia. Elliot, about that baby. You need to tell him that you're pregnant."

"W-What? How do you?" Suddenly the room began to spin again and she swayed slightly. Cragen took her by the arm and helped her sit in a nearby chair. She took a few deep breaths to calm herself and then met Cragen's serious gaze with her own. "How do you know that I'm pregnant? And how do you know that Elliot's the father of my baby."

"You just confirmed it. I had my suspicious. Look, there is hardly anything that goes on in my squad room that I don't know about. And I've been watching you over the past few months. You haven't been yourself. And I've never seen you run so quickly for the bathroom. Morning sickness?"

She looked down to avoid his heavy gaze. "My OB said it should be over with by now. I can't believe…" She shook her head and placed her face in her hands.

"What I can't believe is that Elliot hasn't figured it out yet."

"We aren't that close anymore, and besides that I've been trying to hide it from him."



"Yes, I noticed you've come up with a whole new fashion statement. It's time for you to stop hiding from him and tell him."

"No."

"No?"

"I'm not telling him."

"Olivia you have to. How do you plan on keeping this from him? It'll be pretty obvious that you're pregnant in a couple months."

"Maybe I won't be here in a couple months."

"What?"

"I've been thinking about moving someplace else. Anyplace else."

"Olivia," he whispered disappointedly.

"No. Don't! Don't try to guilt trip me into anything. I owe him nothing," she seethed.

"He deserves to know."

"No, he doesn't. I'm taking this baby and I'm moving far away from here."

"Olivia you can't do that to him. You can't hurt him like that."

"Hurt him? What about what he did to me? What about how he hurt me?"

"I understand that, bu-"

"Do you? Do you understand the pain I felt? That I'm still feeling?! He hurt me, and I don't want him to hurt me again, or worse my baby. I never want this child to feel that kind of pain and if I can prevent that from happening, I will." She wiped her nose with the back of her hand and swiped away the tears that had poured down her face.

"What happened between you two? One day you guys were happy and flirting and smiling all the time. The next thing I know you guys couldn't even stand in the same room as each other and when you were, you were constantly at each other's throats. What went wrong?"

"Look. I can't. I don't want to think about it, much less talk about it."

"Alright, but please. Try and reconsider. I know as much as you might hate him-"

"I don't hate him," she interrupted. She saw hate as going a bit far. Hate was what fueled violence, and she would be damned if she would become anything like what her father was. Not only that, but she refused to subject her baby to that. She never wanted her child to know hate.

"Fine, but since you don't hate him, I know you don't want to hurt him either."



She stared stoically out the window and at the man who sat at the desk across from hers. "And what makes you think that?"

"Because it's not you. It's not in you. It's not the kind of person you are. As mad at you are, I know you don't want to see him hurting. No matter what he did to you."

"Fine. I'll tell him," she answered quietly.

"Sooner rather than later?"

She nodded and stood to leave his office. He took her hand and pulled her beside him , and squeezed her shoulders in a sideways hug. She leaned into him, desperately needing the contact, "If you ever need me, I'm here, and Congratulations."

She nodded and pulled out of his arms. "Thank you." She turned and headed out office. She strolled over to her chair and was about o sit down when she caught a Cragen's eye in the door way and instead walked over to Elliot's side of the desk. "Elliot, I need to talk to you about something."

"Sure we can go someplace private-"

She shook her head. "No, can we meet at my place later?"

"Sure, is eight ok?"

"Yea. Eight's fine."

Thanks for reading. :D I'll have the next chapter up to you as soon as my beta is through with it, so just hold tight and hang on for another ride.