Locks of dark hair shadowed his face, concealing his tortured expression from the one person he had never had to hide from before. A burning hot rage spread throughout his form, searing his throat, his chest, his hands, his forearm. Involuntarily he tugged at his sleeve, ensuring that the ugly brand would not creep out and reveal his ultimate betrayal.
'Look at me, Severus', Lily said cautiously, while nervously fingering her red hair. He lowered his face which allowed his hair to fall further forward, preventing him from meeting her beautifully green eyes.
'Aren't you happy for me?' Lily asked, torn between feeling frustrated and guilty. She was taken aback when Severus snorted cynically.
He slowly raised his head, his hair parting to reveal his eyes which eventually met hers. A mark under his right eye hinted at the trace of a tear.
'How could I possibly be happy that you are marrying that swine?' he sounded almost sarcastic, but Lily knew that his question was genuine.
'I love him', she said as she raised her hand and placed it delicately on Severus's, signifying that she still cared deeply for him too. As if being scorched by a flame he instantly retracted his hand and again pulled his sleeve downward.
'You're my best friend', Lily's voice broke as she said this. It hurt so much knowing that she was causing him pain. Severus's head quickly snapped up, his eyes directly meeting hers.
'How can you?' he said without breaking eye contact or blinking once. 'How can you say you love him after everything he did not only to me, but to you as well?'
'I forgave him', Lily smiled weakly, her eyes brightening as she thought of her dearest James. Severus lowered his head again, hiding the silent tear that had escaped his eye.
'How can you forgive something so awful, and love the man who did it?' he didn't expect Lily to answer. He had said it more to express his confusion at her seemingly illogical choice.
'Severus', she whispered. He automatically looked up when she called his name, forgetting that he was trying to hide how much he was suffering. 'I forgave you too. I love you too.'
At these words his porcelain face shattered into defeat. He suddenly had an immense desire to suffer, to be punished for being so selfish, for being so similar to the person he loathed. His fingernails grasped at his arm, pressing deeply into his flesh. He wanted to bleed, to rip apart his skin, to slowly and painfully tear at his flesh until all that was left was bone. He wanted to break the fortress of bones and reach his heart, which he would crush and throw away. Then he wouldn't have a heart, and it wouldn't break.
'Severus', she whispered again, pulling him out of his dark and agonising thoughts. 'I'm so sorry'.
He stood up swiftly, and made his way to the door. Before exiting he looked into those eyes he loved so much for the last time and said, 'It should have been me'.
