Prologue

When I see myself I always know where you are…for a while that was true. I'd look in the mirror, see the scars, touch the pendant, and begin to reminisce about our (now old) times together. The battles and adventures, danger caressing our skin like a silken dress every time we met confrontation. Up until now my memories were crystalline; almost as if I was living on the Legacy again, breathing in the life-enriching "sea" air. Home was where my heart was and my heart was with you.

Those feelings are gone now. Years of separation have driven an immovable wedge between us. Your training has enveloped your life and my career has never been better. Sleeping disorder aside I now have five fully-armed fleets under my command. How I recall the days where I didn't have any to claim as my own save for when I was playing babysitter for Amelia.

Amelia…fallout with her has been unavoidable as well. Her new role as a mother of four has left her with no time for former friends. Our sisterhood was lost when she married the doctor and devoted herself only to him.

Every time I see a ship pass the port connected to my house I would think, 'Maybe you're on it. Finally some time off since you've been at it for so many months now.' But no, it was some excuse that would extend the distance again as we slowly fell apart. Our dreams and goals of a future together were dismantled before my own eyes. For no one else, not even Amelia have I remained so long on my homeland.

How ironic that until now I have become aware of how much I'm in love with you. We seem to have traded roles, years back you were the love struck one and I was the unaware one. Now it is I who is left alone with only my feelings as you gain your head start in life.

Suddenly I feel older than I truly am; as if twenty-four were equivalent to ninety-three in today's terms. Eight years is a lot to swallow without so much as a run-in or face-to-face conversation.

But it's not selfish right? It's not wrong to crave something else someone else, after eight years right? Even if that someone is him. The sort of person that I generally arrest in my line of work. But, he's my only option, and we both know that if you yourself were put in the given situation you too would take his offer. No matter what I'm doing or where I'm going. I need this.

Don't judge what I'm doing; no matter how reckless it is, how ignorant of the danger I may seem, or how fatal my only flaw can be. I can cope, I always do.

I'm sick of waiting for the boy who's never going to show run up with a ring box in his hand. Marriage tends to be boring anyways. So, this is goodbye huh?

Love you, but not enough to stay. I'm only here to recap everything before I go.