Disclaimer: I don't own Gregg or any of the other Conker characters except Shi, and yes I used a lil bit of the lines from the game. Why? Because I bloody said so that's why!
:At the Nasty/Nice sign:
Shi: Hello. I'm Shi the cat. Why should you care? Well I haven't gotten to the bloody story yet! Well I'm not all what meets the eye. How am I not so ordinary? I hear you ask. Well, I'm the Grim Reaper's lover. How the bloody hell did that happen! He hates cats! I hear you also ask. It started about a year ago. And what a year that was!
: Don W.'s:
Don: Listen, boys, I need you...to take care of some buisness. Theres this black cat (slides a picture of Shi across the table for them to see) that has quite a bit of money. Here's what you do. (walks over to pickture slide show picture machine) Get her here, (slides to picture of her house) take her here, (slides to picture of stream near Nasty/Nice sign) and drop her in the stream. Then go back and get the dough. (throws them 2 burlap sacks) Get to work.
:That night at the Nasty/Nice sign:
Weasel in red: Ya got her?
Weasle in yellow: (nods holding up the first burlap sack)
Weasle in red: Good, drop her in so we can go get the cash.
Weasle in yellow: (tosses the sack in the stream and runs of with the weasles)
:Spooky:
Shi: wakes up Ugh...my fecking head..(puts her hands on her head)
Gregg: (sighs) I'm just going to forget the stupid megaphone...Hello, I'm Gregg the Grim Reape...Argh you're a sodding cat! Lemme guess, your next move is tearing up and pissing all over my new furniture, right?
Shi: No, I just wanna go home!
Gregg: Oh..well..ermm...what's your name...so we can bloody get this over then?
Shi: Shi the cat...
Gregg: (makes ascroll appear and slides his boney finger down it) Shi...Shi...hmm...(stops finger) Well, apparently you don't have eight more lives, yes...
Shi: What! That's not fair! I wanna fecking leave now!
Gregg: Well, you can't! I'm just doing what I'm told. It's my job...Oh and you might need this. (hands her a gun)
Shi: For what?
Gregg: There's a house past there you might like. (points to gate) Last guy that lived there...had an unfoutunate accident. The dumbarse fell into some kind of tourchering device he built. Problem is, there's zombies along the way and a few left in the house. Shot em' in the head. The only thing that kills em'.
Shi: Zombies! No! (shoves thegun back into his hand)
Gregg: Well where the bloody hell are you going to live! Under a rock?
Shi: No, I'm going home!
Gregg: You can't! Your dead! For all eternity, so get use to it!
Shi: But it's scary here!
Gregg: (sighs) Fine, you can live with me. But! Only until you get use to living here!
Shi: Realy? (hugs him) Thank you!
Gregg: (sighs) I'm going to regret this, I just know it...
:Gregg's House:
Gregg: Well, it's getting late. I'm going to bed.
Shi: Where am I suppose to sleep?
Gregg: The couch, I guess...
Shi: No way! I'm not going to spent all of eternity on a couch!
Gregg: Hey! I said your leaving once you get use to being here!
Shi: Well still, I'm not sleeping on a bloddy couch!
Gregg: Your not sleeping in my bed, that's for sure!
:An hour later in Gregg's room:
Gregg: I bloody HATE you...
Shi: Well, I told you I wasn't going to sleep on the couch.
Gregg: (sighs) I knew I was going to regret this..
:Next day in Gregg's room:
Gregg: (wakes up and gets out of bed) Where has that sodding cat gone now?
:Gregg's living room:
Shi: (lookingat Gregg's...magazine collection)
Gregg: Hey! Get out of that!
Shi: I just wanna know what you keep here! (pulls out an Underworld type Playboy and amagazine page folds out) Oh my God, that's discusting! (crams themagazine back where it was)
Gregg: (in an embarrassed voice) I told you to get out of my stuff!
Shi: (snickers) I'm suprised the pages weren't stuck together! (bursts out laughing)
Gregg: Will you stop it!
Shi: Sorry, it's just funny!
Gregg: (mumbles)
Shi: (in a giggling voice) Ok...ok...I'm done now...(burst out out laughing again even louder)
Gregg: (continues to mumble and walks off)
Shi: (stops laughing and yells to him) I didn't hurt your feelings, did I?
:Outside at the dock:
Gregg: (sitting on edge of dock)
Shi: (sits by him) I'm really sorry...I am. Didn't mean to hurt your feelings..
Gregg: (sighs, still looking into the water, andtoo embarrassed to make eye contact) It dosn't matter...Anyone else would laugh too...I mean, I am going to be alone for the rest of eternity and it's all I've got...
Shi: I understand...I know how you feel...same for me to...everyone always just looked at my money...and not me. Now I can be happy...for now I am poor. I know those weasles took my money when they killed me. They must have known I had only one life.Yet still...I'm sad, because now that I don't have money no one will ever love me..
Gregg: (looks her in the eyes for a moment then looks back into the water) Well,...that's just how life is. There is no true love anymore...Just money, looks, and papers that say your someone...that you matter...even though you don't.
Shi: No ones ever understood how life can be like me. But your the first.You know, I guess I can live with being here for all of eternity...As long as I can share it with you. (blushes and puts her hand on his)
Gregg: (blushes and looks at her) You remember...how I said...once you get use to living here..I want you to leave?
Shi: Yes.
Gregg: Don't...Ever.
Shi: I promise.
The End
