A/N: New okikagu story!

Still takes place in the Gintama universe. Just AU setting and placement of characters. xD

Omg. . .I went past 4k words. . . xD

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN GINTAMA IT BELONGS TO SORACHI HIDEAKI

Enjoy~


A Lady's Job

Ch. 1: What a Wonderful Birthday

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A bullet whizzed by and grazed her cheek.

Kagura cursed—more like shouted far too many profanities that Otae would've liked.

"A lady must be elegant at all times, even when you're being chased by a gorilla."

She snorted and swung her umbrella over her head, twisting and coiling her body in order to incapacitate a handful of men. She lunged, evading a sword that would've pierced her back and cursed again. Elegant my ass. If not for her unlimited stealth and stamina, she would have already succumbed to the will to collapse with her face flat on the floor, considering the very crucial fact that she had not eaten breakfast as of yet.

And you would think that mornings would be peaceful.

Kagura roared, flying through the air and twisting her body up to the point where the people of Edo would call her "inhumane." She struggled to hold back a sigh.

So much for her birthday.

She spat in the face of another man and performed an uppercut that made him pass out.

This was definitely the work of the fucking scumbag that she called her brother. Apparently, Admiral Nincompoop thought it would be wise to set an example to the people that his "weak" little sister wasn't so weak after all. Although she had no complaints about his order for once, seeing as their bald, retired father finally didn't have a say in the agreement this time. But she was certain that if he had a choice, he would've most likely protested that his "darling little girl" should stay sheltered in the premises at all times, despite her job.

And he still did, only to be escorted back into his room by Gintoki and Abuto.

She let out a laugh. Serves him right.

Kagura just didn't realize that her stupid butthead of a brother decided to never tell her about the plan, or how it was going to be carried out—but that was Kamui. Her over-unpredictable brother. Obviously, he thought it would set a good example for the people if he decided to send her a barrage of ronin while she was sleeping in her perfectly comfortable bed. Even more so on the day of her birthday. The feeling of alertness and exasperation she had experience whilst in the middle of grabbing her umbrella and blasting out into the cold November air was still fresh in her mind.

The hateful feelings still lingered. Oh yes, very much so.

She made a mental note to kill Kamui later. No one should ever experience the feeling of facing the winter cold without breakfast. Kagura stopped to catch her breath before burying her foot into another ronin's stomach.

The only question was where he got the people. Although, by Kamui's strange connections and influence, he'd probably sold some of her information to some ronin thugs in kabukichou who wanted to make a name for themselves.

How stupid.

She skillfully maneuvered through the air, soaring the sky as the wind brushed against her entire body.

She felt light.

As if she was flying.

Soon enough, by the time she ran out of bullets was when all of the ronin had either collapsed or ran away. Kagura landed with a slight thump on the ground, finally realizing that she had brought the fight outside the premises of her home, where numerous spectators stood around her and stared in awe. The plan worked. Letting out a triumphant smirk, she was immediately caught off guard when her stomach let out a disturbing growl, which was clumsily covered up with a sheepish grin as the townspeople stifled their gasps and giggles.

Her grin died when a voice cut through the air like a knife.

"My, my, imouto-chan. You certainly made a mess this time around."

She whipped her head in the direction of the voice, her uncombed red hair flying everywhere. The crowd around her had dispersed to let the young man of twenty-three through.

Kamui. The Head of the yatos.

She gave him a smile. A wry, angry smile that he seemed to ignore as he kept his placid smiling façade on his face like a mask. She resisted the urge to spit.

Cunning bastard.

Letting out a low growl, Kagura stomped right up to him, ignoring the glances the two retainers beside him had on their faces. New recruits, perhaps, since they seemed to not know about the constant banter between the siblings. Although, Kagura regarded their conversations as more of a one-sided fight. If there was one thing that she knew as his younger sibling, it was that Kamui never fought all-out with her. And that's what made her so frustrated.

Kamui always won, whether in terms of brute strength or when it came to outwitting her.

She huffed angrily, "You couldn't have waited until after breakfast!?" She yelled in a hushed whisper, ignoring the curious glances of the people. Her brother smiled again, and the fire inside of her that wanted to wipe that smile off burned more than ever before. Honestly, what kind of insane person makes you experience fighting dozens of ronin when you're sleeping?! Obviously, Kamui did.

He raised both of his hands, as if proven guilty of a bad deed. "Preparations were a bit rushed, imouto-chan. I was expecting you to at least get breakfast, although that didn't go according to plan."

She snorted. Since when did any of your plans work out the way you planned.

Kamui leaned over, whispering in her ear. "Sho-chan wanted you to have some public attention since you clean out the rats quite well. Take it as a sign of gratitude, imouto-chan. Besides, "the best acting comes from those who never expect it.""

"That's a quote you stole from Gin-chan." She deadpanned, quirking an eyebrow. Although that didn't seem to stop the vein on her head from getting larger.

Kamui waved his hand, dismissing the topic. "No matter. I've told you before, didn't I? I have no use for weaklings. If you can't do something of this caliber, then you're not worth being in the yato clan. Although that might not happen in the far future yet." He cast his eyes over her, an unreadable expression clouding over. "Your job is quite simple, after all."

Kagura bit her lip, restraining the feeling to punch her brother.

Breakfast, breakfast, think of breakfast.

Exhaling, she "accidentally" stepped on his foot as she stomped passed him, muttering a number of incoherent profanities as the two retainers stepped out of her way whilst she walked back to the House.

He didn't even mention anything about her birthday.

The cold November air whipped at her face as she pushed herself to sprint to the kitchen.

What a wonderful day this was indeed.


After practically raiding the kitchen and stealing the packs of sukonbu reserved for her brother, Kagura felt alive and well, ready to spend the remainder of the day in the training room with her mentor, Gintoki, who was most likely reading another newly released issue of JUMP. Currently, most members of the yato house were away at an annual gathering (which Kagura would be able to go to once she turned twenty), so she was thankful for the absence of the smell of sweat and dirt in the training room. Although mostly, she preferred to train outside, where nature sang to her instead of the brutal grunts and roars from the other yatos.

Kagura opened the tatami door with her feet; readjusting her hold on the dozens of sukonbu boxes that were just barely in her hands. She smiled once she saw her mentor, who was lazily sprawled all over the floor with his JUMP magazine. "Gin-cha—" She started before a sukonbu box fell onto the floor. And like most stereotypical events in manga/anime, Kagura slipped on the pitiful box, and fell.

Inelegantly.

Kagura cursed as the sukonbu boxes flew in the air for a split second before they dropped on top of the unsuspecting silver-headed man. Unfortunately, the containers had opened and spilled all over his head. It was truly a very sad sight.

Very devastating.

Kagura bit back tears of anguish. Gintoki screamed.

"AAAAHHHH! Kagura! What the hell is this!? This looks like the shit your brother eats and—eww. I smell like piss and armpits now, and I just got this kimono after Bakasugi burned my last one! You know Gin-san isn't supposed to smell like thi—hey wait! Are you even listening to me!? O-oi, why is your soul flying out from your mouth—oh shit. KAGURA-CHAN! COME BACK!"

The red-head laid on the floor, still as a rock. Apparently, the shock had just gotten to her as she monotonously replied. "You always smell like that, Gin-chan. And Ketsuno Ana probably smells like that too." Deadpanning, she rolled over and crawled her way to Gintoki, who was still on the floor. All covered in the smell of her favorite food.

Kagura really wanted to cry.

Instead, she cursed, picking off the pieces of sukonbu from his hair and clothes. The yato girl sighed, catching Gintoki's attention. "Now my sukonbu is wasted on the likes of you." Feeling crippled and dry, she forced down the tears that were prickling in her eyes.

Her mentor smacked the back of her head. "Oi, don't treat me like some sort of disease, damn brat. Gin-san is higher than that shithead admiral nincompoop you call your big bro—"

Their talk was interrupted when a prosthetic arm slid the door over even further, causing a loud thump to resound through the room, ceasing the duo's argument.

"Jou-chan, your brother wants to see you." A man strolled inside and looked at the two with an indifferent expression. Kagura looked up at him and swore.

Abuto. Kamui's right hand man, didn't look displeased in the foulness of her use of language in the slightest. She defined him as one of the types of old men who focused on getting his job done. Fortunately, Abuto was one of the few people that Kagura could tolerate out of the many frustrating people in the Yato House. The man didn't try to wriggle into her pants so he could get into the good graces of her brother, like many have tried, but failed. Although, even if they did get onto Kagura's good side, Kamui evaluates the person himself (which usually ended with a dead or almost-dead body on the ground). But she really couldn't call Abuto a friend. He was more of—a neutral confident.

The middle-aged man was a laidback person who could keep secrets and lie. And fortunately for Kagura, he did his job well whenever he caught her napping in the broom closet.

"Tell him I'm in the middle of a crisis." She deadpanned with half-lidded eyes. Sukonbu was not a food to be taken lightly.

Abuto sighed, "No can do this time, missy. You'll have to stop your crisis for a bit and visit him."

Kagura huffed, about to retort with another excuse until Abuto slanted his eyes and pointed to the hallway with his finger.

"He has a job for you."

At the mention of those words, she immediately stiffened, waiting for her hands to clench and unclench. She grit her teeth, forgetting about the sukonbu that had spilled all over Gintoki. It seemed that the Shiroyasha's rant had ceased as well as he stared at Abuto. Unbelievable. She thought that her birthday was the day that she would finally have a break without all of the needless instructions and bloody clothes. Honestly, it was either that the Shogun had something in store for her again, or Kamui was just way too unreasonable. Kagura picked the latter. Sho-chan was way too kind.

After a long stare, Abuto left the room with a wave of his hand and a box of sukonbu at the doorway.

"A present from your brother." He said, and walked into the halls. Kagura slowly stood up and walked to the doorway, reluctantly picking up the sukonbu box as she stepped into the hallways.

"Oi."

She stopped and slowly turned to her mentor, who raised his arm and threw something that landed right into the space of her slender hands. She had caught an object. More specifically, she'd caught a small box, and looked up at Gintoki with eyes filled with wonder. Gintoki nodded, watching as she opened the cheap wrapping and saw the inside contents of the box.

Kagura smiled warmly, a light blush adorning her pale cheeks. Gin-chan had always known what she liked. She took the small cake into her hands and swallowed it in a mouthful. A little too sweet, but it was nice, nevertheless. She could give her caretaker a break about his sugar habits once in a while.

Gintoki grimaced as she wiped the corners of her mouth with the back of her hand. "Where the hell do you get those disgusting habits? Gin-san never raised you to be a child like this—" He soon found that to be a bad decision when the box hit his face as he let out a small 'gya.'

"You did." Kagura deadpanned, suddenly changing her facial expression to that of a child waiting for Santa Clause, grinning mischievously. "Did you forget to tell me anything else?" Her sapphire colored eyes sparkled. Presents were rarely given during the birthdays of yatos. Usually, it would be a bow from the head of the house or a dead animal offering. In her opinion though, those were just too depressing and boring. She wanted her birthday to be. . .fluffy.

Kagura observed as the silver-headed man sighed as he scratched his head, quirking his mouth into a lazy half smile.

"Happy birthday, damn brat."

With that, Kagura grinned childishly as she practically ran over to her caretaker and jumped into his warm arms, burrowing her face deep into his shoulder.

"Mm."

That was all she needed to hear.

After that, with a pat on the head and a long bear hug from her caretaker, she set off to her brother's room.


Kagura sat down on the cushion placed for her. She was sitting across from her brother, who had a piece of sukonbu sitting in his mouth. She lowered her eyes down to her own hand, and realized that she had never let go of sukonbu box. It was still there. So with nothing to say or do, Kagura opened the box and slowly brought a piece to her mouth, chewing slowly.

"So," Kamui started, smiling, "I have a job for you."

She kept chewing, focusing her attention onto her brother, waiting for him to reveal her next job.

Kagura looked at him thoughtfully. She had been doing this since she was fifteen, and yet she never quite got used to the feeling of having blood on her hands. Her job was something that was done in absolute secrecy, up to the point where only the members of the Yato House and some others outside of the house knew.

But if she had to put it in one word, she would say that her job was disgusting.

It had involved her to bring down the people who had dared to step in between the path of the Shogun; people who wanted to step into the Yato clan's good graces, and people who wanted to start a conspiracy in the bakufu. After all, when you're one of the two main houses that make up a part of the iron-wall protection for the Shogun, someone is bound to want to break it down. But in her mind, the yatos weren't all that powerful. They succumbed to their madness while fighting, and had an enormous amount of bloodlust that drove many insane, which led them to their inevitable deaths. The only exception was Kamui, who somehow barely managed to keep his rationality in check whilst fighting. But this job seemed to be something he couldn't interfere in. He was the Head of the House now, and was forced to stay in order to maintain the balance and politics of the yatos. That's why he needed her—until she was finished and broken beyond fixing.

She was Kagura. Daughter of the famed amanto Umibouzu, who was the previous head of the House, and a dead mother, Sister to the damned Admiral Nincompoop, and the clean-up crew for persistent rats who aspired, or managed to wriggle themselves in through a tiny crack of the wall.

Her job was to "clean up the rats."

The other group of people; the Okita House, her brother had told her once, were the ones who cooperated in fixing the wall. Apparently, they had also made some sort of police force in order to keep the order of Edo. The shinsengumi, she recalled Soyo-hime telling her.

But imagine the looks on the other clan members' faces when she was deemed by her brother to be the one to carry out the jobs. Their faces almost made her want to laugh.

It wasn't unnatural to see yato women regarded as weak amongst their own kind. They didn't have the same amount of power as the other yatos unless taken into intensive, suicidal training which took years to complete. And the only usefulness they provided was to breed children in order to keep the clan running. Just like a pack of animals. Luck be damned. If not for her will to survive and the blood of Umibouzu, Kagura wouldn't have finished the training. And it didn't make anything better because she was the little sister of Kamui (who was regarded as a genius) and the daughter of the previous head. It just made it easier for people to single her out as the black sheep of the clan. But she didn't worry about that anymore. She had gotten her revenge on the yatos who had constantly laughed at her, beating them in a show of strength when she was receiving fair treatment. Although, the reason why she was receiving better treatment was because of the constant work and jobs she'd been doing in order to "clean out the rats." Besides Soyo-hime (who was her very best friend and confident), the Shogun, the innermost part of the Bakufu, and some other specified people who she was never in contact with, no one else knew.

Kamui released a light, almost hearty chuckle, bringing her back to her senses.

She growled, tired of waiting. "Spit it out."

A moment of silence was heard until Kamui opened his mouth. And the words uttered after the silence was the storm.

"I got you engaged."

Another moment of silence passed.

Kagura sent her empty box of sukonbu flying in the direction of her brother's face. He dodged it.

"I take jobs, baka-aniki. And if I want a husband, I'll find him myself!" She was seething, her mind blown; curses were right at the tip of her tongue. Kamui, of course, kept his placid smile on all throughout her anger. She wanted to kill him.

"Now, now, imouto-chan. Technically, I already engaged you, but it's only temporary unless something happens. And—" He stood up and dodged the bullets and ignored the profanities that were being shot at him, "I would appreciate it if you heard the whole story." His voice was light and chirpy, and that only made Kagura seethe even more.

After a few moments, she muttered a few select words that Gintoki would be proud of, and picked her nose, slowly settling back down onto her cushion. Kamui did the same.

"Now then, let's get started." He opened his eyes, letting her get a glimpse of the blue that were the same as hers'.

Yatos had many distinguishable traits, for example. Their pale, creamy skin and their weakness to the sun (hence, the need to carry umbrellas around). But the eyes were the ones that had to be the most vivid. Each member of the yato clan had their own pair of unique eyes, shining in an almost-beautiful way when fighting or getting excited. Kamui's though—Kagura thought that they were dim. Very dim.

But she ignored it like always. Instead, she quirked an eyebrow and waited for an explanation.

The head rested an arm on his leg, sitting with his legs crossed. "Lately, members of our house have been dying and disappearing. The same has been going on with the other samurai house that protects the shogun." He waved a hand. "The Okita clan. The one that the hime-sama told you about. The House that established the shinsenseki—shinsengumi."

Kagura raised her eyebrows. "But who would be strong enough to kill a yato?" Yatos were indeed, the strongest race out of all the amantos that had settled on Earth. Although there had been one that was on par with it before, the yatos lead a purge to wipe them out. That's what they had been doing every time a powerful race matched theirs, until her older brother's generation came along.

Kamui kept smiling, "That's what Sho-chan wants you to find out."

She picked her nose, flabbergasted. "What?" By myself?

"Rest assured, sister dear." Kamui reassured, as if reading her thoughts. "You'll be doing this with someone else. More specifically, one other person from the Okita house. Apparently, he's supposed to be a genius or whatnot. Twenty-three and the "best swordsman in the shinsengumi."" He lifted a thoughtful finger up to his chin. "Although, I still believe that samurai-san may be stronger."

Sakata Gintoki. One of the very few men that Kagura held in very high standards. Along with Takasugi Shinsuke, they were one of the few people that were allowed to stay in the yato household. Having been excellent swordsmen and also participating in the Purge (and piquing Umibouzu's interest), they had landed themselves into the household with a whopping crash. Apparently, Gin-chan had made a name for himself during the time when he wasn't taken into the family, earning the nickname Shiroyasha.

"So," She started, "who the hell is he?" Kagura inquired, refusing to utter the word 'fiance.' Kagura had sneaked out of the premises many times before in order to visit Soyo-hime or take a leisure stroll around the Kabukichou district, where she met with several people in a bar who were her "information gatherers" when it came down to it. Although, despite the escapes she made from her house, she had never heard of any genius from the shinsengumi—

"He's the younger brother of the Head of the Okita House, Mitsuba. His name's Okita Sougo." Kamui lightly chirped.

The corners of Kagura's mouth curved up as she uttered a small 'oh'. Mitsuba? "A woman?" It was rare to see women being the head of a house these days. Kagura had absolutely no qualms about a woman being the head of a house. These days, women were regarded as lesser than men. Obviously, it made Kagura's blood boil at the thought.

"Oh, not really." Kamui smiled. "She's a figure-head. Apparently, it's her husband that does most of the work. That woman's got tuberculosis, so she's mostly not active for the time being until she gets her treatment."

Kagura slowly nodded her head, brushing away the feelings that invaded her like a plague. A thought then passed through her head and slipped out of her mouth like water. A lightbulb went off. "Why can't you get this done instead? Shouldn't this involve politics or something?" Begrudgingly, she admit that Kamui was a better fighter serious or not, and he had better intellect than her as well. Kagura also knew about politics, since it was a necessity to be learned. But she refused to include boring topics like that in her everyday life.

Kamui smiled, as if it were the most natural thing to do. "Because there are rats that listen, imouto-chan. Especially in the yato clan. Which means I can't move around freely. So Sho-chan's decided that you'd be sent to the Okita House as his "fiancé" and are to make sure to find out who's behind killing all of our and the other house's people. Oh, and get rid of them as quietly as possible. And by the way, samurai-san will be going with you, so I'll explain it to him later. And you can take that Gorilla woman with you if you want. I'm pretty sure you'll be lonely there without me."

Kagura spat. "Says who?"

She only received a smile. His–ever-so-present smile response. And she cringed.

"So," She started, "When do I leave?"

"Today." He stated bluntly.

". . . .Excuse me?"

Kamui chuckled, his braid sliding from his shoulder to his back. "Consider this as a birthday present from me."

He was rewarded with a haul of swear words and more bullets, all which he dodged with magnificent flexibility and speed as he bounded through—right through the shoji doors. Abuto would have a fit about this later.

"Make sure to pack what you need, dear sister~." Were his last words as he ran through the hallways. After a moment, Kagura threw her umbrella down and slumped back onto the cushion, smothering the amount of swear words daring to come up.

Then, picking her head up and looking at the ceiling, she quickly stood and flung the shoji doors that lead to the garden open. She roared, releasing the annoyance and anger that had been built up during their talk. Her voice ached and cracked with every yell she made, and all she could muster after that was a dry laugh.

Truly, what did she do to deserve this?

No answer came. She laughed.

What a shitty birthday this was.


A/N: Ch 1 is finished

Til next time~